There is so much he wants to say to her, to ask, but he cannot seem to remember how to speak. She is here-real and alive-but this is wrong. She was just a child he could carry in his arms. The young woman who stands before him is tall and beautiful, dark hair and hazel eyes so much like her mother's. Neither one is able to move for a long time, and both have tears in their eyes. When he finally manages to speak, his voice is throaty and weak from disuse and emotion, and the question comes out cold and more abrupt than he means it to. "Who are you?"
She takes a deep breath, hurt in her eyes, shoulders slumped. He imagines his response must seem like rejection. "My name is Rey. I was sent by General Organa to find you. She wanted me to give you the lightsaber."
"My father's lightsaber. Tell me, child, how did you come by this?" His eyes shimmer with memories and deep pain as he accepts the weapon.
"I found it in a trunk in Maz Kanata's Castle. It sounds strange, but..it called to me."
She squares her shoulders back, unsure how to behave in his presence, and tries to master the trembling in her limbs. Luke watches her, and senses that the young woman before him is torn between raging at him and enfolding him in a crushing embrace. He tries to send her calming waves of love and reassurance, but her mind is reeling, her thoughts conflicted.
"Do you know why this weapon called to you?" He is suddenly terribly conscious of his disheveled appearance, his disintegrating artificial hand, and the ruin in which he lives. How can she feel anything but anger and disgust looking at this broken hermit?
"Yes." She closes her eyes, trying to contain the emotions battling within her. I feel her anger, hurt, betrayal, but beneath it all, there is still love, primal and raw. An edge of anger enters her voice. "Why did you leave me there in that wasteland? Was I nothing but a burden, something to be discarded to you?" Her fists clench and unclench at the words.
"I didn't know you were alive. I searched the galaxy every night for you. I tried to contact you in my dreams." He can still feel her radiating hurt at being abandoned, still see the betrayal in her watery gaze, and it tears at his heart. He raises his hands, a plea perhaps for her to understand that he never wanted this. He wanted to give her all he never had but his chance to be the father she deserved and needed was ripped away.
"I dreamed of this place so many nights." She moves away from him, stares out over the ocean with arms crossed over her chest. "I waited so long for you to come back and find me. I counted the days, but you never did." She turns back to him, eyes flashing with anger and pain. "I needed you!"
The old Jedi approaches her, longing to pull her into an embrace, but not wanting to drive her away. "My ship was badly damaged when I arrived here. I salvaged what I could from the wreckage, but it will never fly again."
"So, you were stranded here? I thought for a long time that there was something wrong with me, that you didn't want me." She sniffs and rubs tears away with the back of her sleeve.
"No...I love you more than anything. I can't replace the lost years, but if you would grant me a second chance…" His voice breaks and he lowers his head. How can he deserve this?
Suddenly, he is almost knocked over by the force of her embrace as she clings to him, her hands grasping the front of his robes, breathing his scent which is somehow familiar and comforting. "You smell like home." A wave of emotion crests over him, through their bond and enveloping him in love, warmth and regret. The feelings are so beautiful they're almost white hot in intensity.
He strokes the back of her hair and holds her tightly, worrying that this is a dream, a cruel deception that will fade or a delusion of his fragmented mind. "I promise I won't leave you again."
She holds on to him for a long time. "Will you come back with me? Can we try to be a family again?"
"I will, but there is much to do before I can return. Come with me." He takes her hand and leads her into the area of the old temple he uses for a living space. The walls are bare except for a few tools and hanging herbs, and the room has only a fire pit for light and heat. There is a stone table and a couple of larger stones serving as chairs.
"Have you lived here all this time?" Rey takes in the primitive conditions and he can hear the shock in her voice.
"I have, but this place is very special and I have all I need here." His back is turned for a moment as he sets a kettle over the fire on a rusted hook and starts preparing food for both of them.
"But you've been alone all these years?" The compassion in her tone is unexpected and undeserved.
He sets a plate of hot fish and some sort of green vegetable in front of her. There is a slight hesitation in his voice. "Yes. But a Jedi is never truly alone with the Force as his ally."
She stares at the plate with wide eyes, and he gives her a worried, apologetic look. "I thought you might be hungry after your journey. I'm afraid I don't have much to offer." He gives her a shy, self-deprecatory smile.
"I haven't had food that wasn't rehydrated in a long time. But..it's so much. Is all of this for me?"
"Of course. There's plenty." He sips his tea and watches as she devours the fish and vegetables as if it's the best thing she's eaten in weeks and hopes his suspicions aren't true. Wordlessly, he fills her plate again, quickly averting his eyes to hide his sorrow.
Rey finishes a second and then a third plate. "That was wonderful. Thank you."
Luke can't help but feel a crushing wave of guilt and anger that his innocent daughter grew up without having enough to eat. Without her noticing, he had slipped her the food from his own plate as well. He vowed that she would never be hungry, never suffer or be hurt by anyone from this point on.
He wants to know every detail of all of the missing years, but he knows their bond is tenuous, new, and he doesn't want to do anything to break the fragile trust that is slowly developing.
"I know you must have so many questions, Rey. I will answer anything honestly."
"I do, but I don't know where to start. The thing I've dreamed of my whole life finally happened, and I have no idea what to say. I can't believe you're real." She reaches across the table tentatively and he takes her hand in his own flesh hand.
"I understand." He smiles warmly, and she returns it with a smile that could light up the whole galaxy, her mother's smile. "Would you tell me about your life. Where you grew up?"
"There isn't much to tell." She shrugs. "I've only ever done one thing. I was a scavenger on a desert planet, Jakku. It's pretty rough there. You have to know how to defend yourself, how to bargain, how to make things last." There's a hint of pride in her voice.
"Who took care of you? You were so young." His voice threatens to break under the weight of guilt he carries. He clears the table, leans on a stone ledge for a moment to bring his emotions under control.
"Unkar Plott gave me a job and taught me how to be a scavenger and..there was an old man that taught me a few things. Mostly, I learned what I needed to know on my own. On Jakku if you don't learn fast, you starve." She shrugs. "It wasn't so bad. I got to spend as much time as I wanted in ships. Even if I might never get to fly most of them, I learned all of their secrets, their quirks." She smiles again.
"Do you like to fly? I had a dream, a vision maybe about you piloting a ship."
Her face lights up at the question. "I'd never left the planet's atmosphere before the day I did that. I love to fly. I feel..free..alive when I fly."
The old Jedi's eyes grow misty with a bittersweet memory. "Your mother said the same thing. She was an amazing pilot and I loved her very much. You have her natural affinity for flying."
Rey sits up in her chair. "How-? How did she die?" The look on her face seems to ask Why didn't you protect her-protect us?
He has never hated himself as much as he does in this moment for his failure to protect his students, his family, for allowing all he had fought to hard to rebuild be lost. "One of my apprentices, a young, bright boy with amazing potential turned against me. He led a raid on the temple in the middle of the night when he knew I was on a mission. He and his knights bombed the temple, killed every apprentice. Your mother was gravely injured. She..she didn't make it to the island though I tried to save her." He lets out a choked sob. "I begged her to hold on, but it was too late. I was too late. I buried her on this island." A tear rolls down his cheek.
The young woman winces as she is almost knocked over by the surge of agony she feels from her father. Wanting to soothe his pain, Rey moves to sit beside him, hugging him tightly. "It was Kylo Ren, wasn't it?"
"How did you know?" He shuts his eyes, willing himself to be calm.
There are tears in her eyes too now. "I saw him in a vision. I didn't understand what I was seeing until now." She leans her head against his shoulder, seeking the feeling she was missing her entire life. He feels compassion and love radiating from her. After all he has lost, all he has failed to do, she can forgive him, can still love him.
She picks up the thought, unaware that he he hasn't spoken it aloud. "Of course I can. You're my father." They stay there a while, until he sees his daughter yawning. He leads her to the room he uses for a bedroom. He insists that she sleep in his bed, then he goes outside to sleep under the stars, drawing his cloak around him for warmth. He checks on her in the night, tugs the covers up around her. Then, he returns outside and curls up close to Kira's grave marker. Before he falls asleep, he whispers. "Our daughter is home, Kira."