13.

In the next six weeks Tara stayed busy with Thomas. She spent a lot of time at the clubhouse and the more she was there the more she found out about the man she loved. She still found it hard but she was coming to terms with everything. She didn't know how things were with her and Jax but she had decided to at least to take Thomas to see him. Her and Chibs usually talked every night. He explained a lot of Jax's ways to her. She realized that Jax has been in a lot of pain since his father and his brother's death. Which is why she named her son after his brother. She knew Chibs was trying to help her to forgive Jax but she knew that wasn't in her yet. She walked into the clubhouse that day to find Chibs.

"Hey you." she said when she seen him sitting at the bar.

"Tara, ya lookin lovely." he said kissing her on her cheek.

"I need to talk to you."

"I'm here, talk won't ya."

"I've decided to take Thomas to see Jax. I just don't want him feeling like everything is okay. I don't know how I feel."

"Then ya tell him that."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that. Ya tell him and ya let him hold Thomas. That will be enough for now."

"Thanks Chibs. I don't know what I would have done without bending your ear for so long."
"No thanks needed Tara. Ya are like a sis to me."

"Thanks, I feel the same." she said as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

She walked to the office to speak with Gemma and to pick Thomas up.

"Hey Gemma."

"Hey baby. So what has you in such deep thought lately."

"I've decided to take Thomas to see Jax."

"Oh you are going to make my boy so happy Tara." Gemma said hugging Tara.

"I know. He needs to see his son. Now that Thomas is six weeks old it's time."

"When are you taking him?"

"Well I know tomorrow is your day so.."

"You take my day. I have seen my son for the last 30 years, it's time he seen his." Gemma said smiling.

The next day Tara was so nervous. She had gotten dressed and was unsure of what to wear. She finally had Donna come to her room to help her.

"You're nervous aren't you?" Donna asked.

"Yeah, how can you tell?" she said chuckling. "I don't know what to wear."
"Well that depends on how you feel." she said gently.

"I don't want to go there looking seductive. I mean I love him Donna but I'm not ready yet for all of that. I just want to look nice as he meets his son."
"Okay then. I think you should wear this." Donna said pulling out a pair of black jeans and a beautiful blue shirt the color of both Jax's and Thomas's eyes.

"Thanks Donna. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You never have to find out." Donna said smiling. "I'm going to go put the outfit you laid out for Thomas on him then we should be ready to go."

Donna pulled into the parking lot and the butterflies were rampant in Tara's belly. She pulled out her son and gazed on him and that calmed her a little. They went through the gates and had everything searched before they were allowed inside. This was Tara's first time going through all of this.

Donna knew Jax was going to be so surprised because he didn't know they were coming. She was looking forward to seeing his face. They decided to have Ope and Jax together. She knew Ope would be okay with spending time together.

"Are you sure Donna?" Tara asked.

"Yes, I'm sure."

They went into the room and Donna led her to a back table so they would have a little privacy. Then they sat as they waited. Donna heard the doors open and looked over to see Ope. He was smiling and then his grin got bigger when he seen who was with her. He stood in front of Jax trying to block them.

She watched as Jax playfully pushed Ope away. "Go see your old lady man, quit blocking me." But Ope walking toward us still blocking us until they were right in front. Ope stepped to the side and she thought Jax was going to hyperventilate when he seen Tara and Thomas sitting there.

"Tara." was the only thing he could say.

"Hi Jax, I wanted to introduce you to your son."

Jax walked closer to her and then he looked at the baby resting in her arms. He sat down at the table and stared. "He's beautiful."

"You just say that because he looks like you brother." Ope said teasing him.

"Would you like to hold him?" Tara asked.

"I can?" he asked.

"Yes. You are his daddy." Tara said. Tara was so tense. She hadn't realized that seeing Jax would make her crave him more. She had to keep herself from this. She handed Thomas over to Jax and she felt his arm brush against her breast. She couldn't help the shiver that ran through her body. She looked to Jax to see if he noticed and was relieved to see he was just excited to hold Thomas.

Jax raised him up and said "Hi Thomas, I'm your daddy." Ope and Donna chuckled.

"He's a beautiful son Tara." Ope said to her. Looking at her with thanks in his eyes.

She silently nodded to him.

"I know you two usually have private visitation but Donna thought you would like to be here."

"She's right. This is where I want to be."

"You want to hold him Uncle Ope?" Jax asked smiling.

"Sure." he said.

"Only for a moment though." Jax said chuckling.

They all laughed at seeing Ope as big as he is holding this tiny baby.

"Are you doing okay?" Jax turned to Tara and asked.

"Yeah, your mom, Donna and Wade have been great. I couldn't do it without them."

"I'm sorry Tara." he started saying.

"Not here. Let's just enjoy this time." Tara softly said.

"Okay, for now." he said grabbing her hand and squeezing a little.

Jax took Thomas from Ope and cuddled him to his chest. At that moment Jax had never been happier. He knew she thought he hadn't felt her shiver at his touch. He was happy to know he still effected her. He hated to think that he would never have a chance with her and he only prayed now that he didn't fuck everything up before he could win her back. He hated it when it was time for them to leave.

"Are you going to come back again?" he finally asked her as Ope and Donna had went off a little to say goodbye.

"I uh.. I hadn't really thought about it but I guess I could bring Thomas back to see you. He seemed content in your arms."

"How about you? Do you think one day you could be in my arms again?"

"I don't know Jax. I just don't know." she said.

"Okay, I miss you Tara. I miss you so much." he said. Bringing her into his arms to at least hug her. She felt so good to him.

"You take care of yourself." she said to him before she turned and walked away.