15.

Tara just couldn't bring herself to go back to visit Jax. Part of her wanted to but she just couldn't do it. She let Gemma take Thomas up there regularly though. She used the excuse of her nursing school to get out of it.

"Tara, I know you don't want to go today, but is there anything you want me to tell him?" Donna asked.

"Oh Donna, I don't know. I really think that this is the time I need to learn to move on. I love Jax. I don't think I will ever love another the way I do him, but every time I think about us I see him with her. I know that's not fair, it's been 12 months. But I need to find out what I can do on my own with Thomas before he gets out."
"Tara, are you saying you are never going back to Jax?" Donna asked surprised.

"I don't know Donna. I'm thinking of going on a date."

"A date."

"Yeah, one of the doctors at the hospital asked me out. He's cute and there's not all these problems. I want to feel normal again."

"You think some other guy is going to make you feel normal? It doesn't work that way Tara. You will never be normal again until you face what destroyed you and Jax."

Tara was frustrated. She felt that Donna wasn't supporting her.

"What? You think I should just say Okay Jax, come get me. It doesn't matter how you ripped my heart to shreds I'm still available for you to do it again?" she cried out to Donna.

"No, I don't. But you are fooling yourself. You just said you will never love another like you do him. How are you going to be happy if you are with someone else and yet be so in love with Jax. You have to talk to him."

"I can't. Not yet."

"Then when Tara, like you said it's been 12 months."

"Just let it go for now Donna."

"I think I've let it go long enough. I think you are letting your pride stand in the way of what you want."

Tara walked out of the room before she said anything else that would destroy her relationship with Donna.

When Donna came into the room she hugged Tara. "You do what you have to do. I'm here."

"Thanks. I think I'm going to go on that date. Just see how it goes. Maybe it will help me make a decision."

"Okay."

Donna didn't know if she should tell Opie about it or not. She hated the way Jax looked when he seen Tara wasn't there. Yeah she hated what he did to her sister, but she could also see how much he loved her. It made her understand him better.

"Hey baby." she said to Opie.

"Hey, No Tara today?"

"No. I don't know what is going to happen to them Opie. I see how it is effecting Jax and I also see what it has done to Tara."

"I know baby." Opie said hugging her.

Donna looked over at Jax and Gemma with him holding Thomas. She could see how happy he was to see Thomas but she could also see the sadness in his eyes missing Tara. She decided not to tell Opie about the date just yet. She would wait and see what happened.

After the visitation she stayed quiet on the way back. She could feel Gemma's eyes on her but she didn't want to say anything to her either. But Gemma was relentless in her questioning. She was afraid she would tell.

"Okay, girlie, tell me what has you so taped up at the mouth?" Gemma asked.

"Oh Gemma, I don't know." she said.

"Yes you do. Spill it."

Donna went on to tell Gemma about what Tara told her. About the date and how she felt about Jax.

She was afraid Gemma would explode so she was really surprised when Gemma said "Good for her."

"What?"

"I said good for her. She needs to do this Donna. She knows she loves my son. I know she loves my son. That's what is going to keep her grounded from other men. But she needs to do this. Even though she doesn't realize it it's like a payback."

"You think so?"

Gemma grinned. Donna thought to herself if Gemma wasn't worried maybe she shouldn't either.

"So did you tell Opie she was going on a date?"
"No, I was afraid he would tell Jax and I didn't want that until we knew what was happening."

"Well the next time we go you need to tell him about the date. Jax needs to hear this. Especially now. He needs to know that he can't take advantage of her. Especially when he can't do anything about what is going on the outside."

Donna looked at her and smiled. "You are just a mean woman Gemma Teller-Morrow."

"Jax is my son and I love him, but he needs to learn that there are some woman you don't just go with for pussy. Tara is definitely not one to mess around on."

They got back to the apartment and Gemma decided she was going to go in and help Tara dress for her date. Her presence alone will keep Jax on Tara's mind.

"I feel strange with you helping me to go out on a date with another man besides your son."

"Don't. I just want you to have fun baby. You deserve it."

"Okay. Thanks."

When her date showed up she said goodbye to Donna and Gemma and leaned down to kiss her son.

"You take care of our girl." Gemma said to the date.

"Wow, you look great Tara." Mark said to her.

"Thank you. You look nice too." he was wearing a suit and tie.

When they got to the restaurant he pulled out her chair and she thought that was sweet. He ordered for her which kind of bothered her but let it slide. Then he talked all night long about cases he worked on. She was getting quite bored. But then he asked her about her baby.

"So how old is he?"

"He's three months almost."

"So can I ask where his dad is?"

"Uh, yeah. He's in prison."

"Prison?"

"Yeah."

"Well I guess you lucked out getting rid of him. He must be a worthless piece of shit that he leaves you alone for prison."

"You make it sound like he chose to go to prison."

"Well he kind of did. I mean he must have done the crime."

Tara wanted to change the subject.

"Why are you wanting to change the subject I mean, I guess now you can actually do better for yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm a doctor. Isn't that what all women want to marry someday?"