Soooo - what would you do in Amy's situation? I've been surprised by the love for Kate from those of you who have posted reviews (thanks v much). I hope this chapter is realistic. In that Amy responds in a way we would expect from her character...and Karma, well maybe things come a bit clearer.

Amy couldn't believe what was happening. Karma's lips were on hers. Those big soft lips that five years ago was all she ever wanted. But that was five years ago!

"Don't" Amy said as pulled away from the embrace and pushed Karma away. Pushed her lips away from hers.
"Amy..." Karma started to speak, but Amy didn't give her a chance to finish...she knew she couldn't. Amy was already feeling totally confused. She couldn't allow Karma to say something or do something else that would add to that confusion.

"Don't Karma"'Amy repeated firmly holding her hand up in a stop sign. Amy looked karma in the face and knew she was hurting. Amy knew she had to get away from this situation.

"You're upset OK." Amy paused as she tried to compose herself, to think how best to handle the situation
" I get that it's a difficult time for you right now Karma... I understand." Karma sat listening to Amy's speech
"You're grieving..." Amy concluded "things are a bit of a mess right now...so Let's just pretend this never happened OK."
Amy went to open the car door, but Karma reached out and grabbed her Amy's arm to stop her leaving.

"Amy stop!" karma cried out "Please..I need to tell you..."

"Tell me what exactly Karma?" Amy snapped back, pulling her arm free from Karma's grip
"tell me that all of a sudden you fancy GIRLS? That all of a sudden , since you lost your parents you NEED me? All of a fucking sudden...the minute I tell you I'm happy and in love with my girlfriend...you're what? Going to FINALLY tell me that you love me?"

Amy felt so scared...she couldn't hear anything like that. Since the shower incident that morning, she had been feeling totally guilty about how Karma was making her feel. The butterflies, the racing heart, dry throat...she had to put some distance between them.

Karma turned away from Amy's angry stare and whispered "it's not like that." Shaking her head.

"Karma - that's EXACTLY what it's like" Amy exploded
"it was the same when we were growing up Karma. You get what you what you want. You ALWAYS get what you want!" Amy felt all the pain of the past five years come flooding out. Seeing Karma again, had hit her harder than she had expected. Amy felt the emotion begin to grown within her.

"Amy I'm sorry if you feel that way...I'm sorry that I have made you feel that way. I...I was horrible to you. I...treated you SOOO badly...I deserve everything..." Karma hesitated before continuing "...everything that's happened!" The tears were falling.

"Karma that's BULLSHIT!"Amy snapped back.

"Your behaviour did not cause that accident. Your parents did not die because you were a bitch five years ago OK!" Amy shouted "it isn't all about YOU Karma!. When are you going to get it?"

Amy asked without really waiting for a reply "you need to deal with your loss in the right way. You need to accept what has happened and not try and find excuses."

Karma was staring out the side window, so that Amy couldn't see her face, couldn't see her tears.

"Karma you need some help ok. Professional help. I...I can't help you deal with this...it's too much for me...things have gotten all mixed up...I think you're confused and I thought I could do this...come back and pretend that I was OK with what happened five years ago...but I'm not OK with it..." Amy felt the tears start to form in her own eyes "I want to be here to support you Karma, but I'm finding it harder than I thought."

Karma spoke through the sobs "you've got it all wrong. I promise you...it's not like how you say it is...I...fuck!"
Karma groaned and turned to face Amy
"I'm sorry I kissed you. I REALLY am. It was wrong of me to do that to you, to be disrespectful to Kate..." Karma paused before reaching over and placing her hand on Amy's hand.

"...you think you know it all..think you know me..but you don't...not really..I know I messed things up. I know I really hurt you back then and you have every right to hate me and be angry." Karma paused before adding

"Yes of course I'm grieving, and you are right...I do need to see someone about how I deal with my mum and dad dying, but that isn't why I kissed you."

Karma leant behind to the backseat an pulled out a large padded brown envelop from her handbag.
She left the envelop resting in her lap for a few seconds as she took a deep breath.

"Amy I know I don't have the right to ask anything from you...I know that." Karma placed the brown envelop in Amy's lap before adding " but this is for you"
Amy looked down in her lap at the package, scared of what it might contain.

Karma continued "Amy...remember the night of your mums wedding...when you told me you had feeling for me?..."
Amy turned to face Karma, but remind silent
"..well I hated you that night. I hated you for feeling the NEED to tell me that...because it messed up everything. It messed everything fucking thing up!"

"But..." Karma continued "...You told me because you HAD to know...you had to know whether or not I felt the same way."

Karma wiped the tears from her cheeks "I HAVE TO KNOW AMY. I have to know if you honestly don't still feel something for me."

Amy stared back at Karma unable to speak. The truth was she didn't know what she felt. She was so confused. Up until a few days ago she was perfectly happy with her life in NYC. With her relationship with Kate. It was easy and simple.

Now as she sat here she didn't know. She honestly didn't know.