17.

Tara became a regular visitor after that. She would bring Thomas with her so he could bond with his dad. She was taking things one step at a time. She didn't really know what to expect when he actually got out. She was excited but nervous and apprehensive for that day. Today though she was antsy. Gemma asked if she could go in and see Jax first and she was going to take Thomas with her so that when Tara seen him it was just them two alone. She loved Gemma and she was grateful for all the help she gave Tara but she didn't want to have any trouble with setting things in motion. She knew that Gemma would always do what Jax asked of her. So she sat out in the other waiting room for her turn.

"Hey mom." Jax said giving her a hug and taking Thomas from her. "Where's Tara?"

"She is waiting to see you. I asked her for time so I could talk to you."

Jax raised his eyebrow up. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Baby, you wrote me a letter and what you asked of me I can't do."
"Why not?"

"Look, the way I see it if you have the three of them there it's only going to make everything fresh in Tara's mind again. It isn't going to solve anything. Besides you are as much to blame as they are. My suggestion to you is if you do see any of them at any time put them in their place. But I think they are going to stay away."
"Why would you say that?"
"Because Tara has put them in their place. Let Tara be the one to handle them."

"You think that's what I should do?"

"Yeah, I do. I understand where your heart was at when you asked me. I even understand why, but don't do it."

Jax looked hard at his mom and realized what she said made sense.

"Okay. I just want Tara to know she doesn't have to worry about that anymore."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah mom. I can't lose her. Now that I've finally gotten my head out of my ass as Opie has so nicely put it, I only want Tara and Thomas."

"Good. Well my work here is done. I'll go so you can see Tara. Oh by the way, are you ever going to ask her to be your old lady?" she asked smiling.

"Well I don't want to push her, but I was thinking when I got out of here."

"Good. It's about damn time." she said and turned and left with Thomas.

Jax sat there drumming his fingers on the table waiting on Tara. He was going over what his mom said and he was so afraid to say what he truly felt. Afraid he would scare her away. He stood up when he heard the door open and knew she was there.

"Hey darling." he said pulling her into his arms.

"Hey. I missed you."

"Not nearly as much as I missed you." holding her tighter.

She was finally able to pull away a little to sit down.

"So not too much longer." she said smiling.

"Yeah, um.. I was thinking about something."

"Oh scary Teller." she said jokingly.

"Oh shut up. Anyways I was a little afraid to bring this up now but I want us to have a good start when I get out."

"What's that babe?"

"Have you thought anything about wearing my crow?"

"Your crow?" she asked nervously.

"Yeah, you know like the tattoo that Donna got with Ope's name, only with my name."

"I uh.. yeah, I guess." she said not looking at him.

"Tara, I want you to have my crow baby."

"Jax, you don't know yet. I mean why don't you wait to get out and see how things are before you promise something like that?"

"I already know Tara. I want you to be my old lady, to wear my crow with pride. I love you Tara, that's not going to change."

He watched as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I thought you would be happy to wear my crow."
"I am, I'm just,..I'm sorry I just never thought you would ask me that. I mean that would tie you down to one woman, which is what I want, I just never thought you would. I mean would I be proud to wear your crow? Most definitely. Are you sure Jax, because once I get it I can't get it undone."

"Shhhh," he chuckled softly at hearing so many words coming out of her mouth at once.

"Sorry." she said looking down. He grabbed her chin and turned her face to look at him.

"I want to be tied to you and only you. I know I've been the biggest fool ever not facing how much I love you. But I have now and I want the whole world to know that you are mine."

"And you, are you mine?"
"Yeah, I'm yours darling. No one else just yours." he said bringing her closer to kiss her.

After kissing for a long time she finally pulled away. "Yeah" she said. "I'll proudly wear your crow Jax."

He started kissing her again and knew he needed to stop before he laid her out on the table and although that is what he really wanted to do he knew he couldn't.

"So when we get out Donna and Ope are getting married. I am his best man. I hope before the actual ceremony we can have it done."

"Sounds like a plan baby." she said laughing.

She finally kissed him goodbye. She only had two more weeks and he was home for good. She finally left with a smile on her face.

"Hey, how did your visit go?" Donna asked her as they all met out at the car.

"Great and yours?"
"Really good. Finalized some last minute decisions on the wedding." Donna said smiling.

"Well are you two getting married that night?"

"We were going to but we decided to wait until the next day."

"Good."

"Why's that?" Gemma asked smiling.

"Because Jax wants me to get his crow before we stand up for our best friends." she said nonchalantly.

"He did?" Donna squealed loudly.

"Yeah." Tara said laughing as her best friend and the woman who has become like a mother to her grabbed her up hugging her.

"Hey man, how did your visit go?" Opie asked.

"Great. Um.. can you do me a favor. I know that Happy usually does all the tattoos for the club, but I also know how good you are at it and I really want a special one. Can you do it for me?"

"Of course, when do you want it done?"
"I want it done before we get out. I want you to put TARA on my chest. Right over my heart Ope."
Opie was stunned. "You're having her name put on you?"

"Yeah, I want everyone to know who it is that holds my heart Ope."

"I get it man. Of course I will do it." he said smiling.