Feel slightly nervous posting this chapter...as this is the chapter where Karma tells Amy how she feels (according to my fanfiction). I've also tried to do it in a Karma way...and tried to write a song. Sorry of it's rubbish. I'm still very new to writing.
As ever, I'd love you know what you think.

Amy's hands were shaking as she continued reading the letter...

It's four years to the day from when you told me you loved me at your mums wedding. That was the worse night of my life because after you said those words...everything changed.

I loved you so much and as I stood there listening to you tell me that you were attracted to me, I literally felt the world shift from beneath my feet.

You see at that very moment I wanted to say the words back to you...I wanted to pull you into my arms and tell you that I felt exactly the same way. You knew I did didn't you? You were pushing me. Pushing me to be honest.

The problem is Amy Raudenfeld, I'm not as brave as you. I'm not good when I'm faced with big decisions. Big situations. And what bigger a situation is there than admitting that you also have feelings for best friend. Your best friend who just happens to be a girl.

I'm so ashamed writing this now. It seems so silly seeing these words on paper now...four years on, but back there in your bedroom... the 15 year old Karma was so fucking scared of what those feeling meant. I panicked Amy.

I made a gut decision there and then, to deny any feelings I had for you.

Standing there In your room...I didn't want to be gay. I was in love with Liam. I wasn't gay. Sure I loved you..but those feelings..those feelings I had for you..they weren't 'right'.

They weren't what I wanted to feel. I wanted to be with Liam and have kids and a perfect house and you as my best friend. My best friend forever.

For someone with such unconventional parents all I wanted to do was fit in. I just wanted to be 'normal'. Whatever normal looks like! Being gay wasn't an option I was willing to consider. So I lied.

I lied to you Amy when I said that I didn't love you the way you wanted me to.

I lied then...and I've been lying ever since. Every day. Every day is a lie.

I love you Amy Raudenfeld. You are me x

Tears were falling down Amys cheeks as she finished reading the letter. She place the disk in the CD player and pressed play.

A guitar started strumming and then Amy heard Karma's voice start singing. Amy's mouth dropped open when she realised Karma was singing a song for her.

Look at me dear friend for there is something I need to say...

Something you must hear.
You're not here. Have to find another way...

Find another way to let you know..
Let you know what a mess I made.

Lost you long time ago.
Lost you because of me.
Because of who I am
Who I tried to be

Scared of being different.
Scared of standing out.
Scared of these feelings coming true.

Easier to run.
Easier to hide.
Hide these feelings deep inside.
Easier to just pretend.
Pretend that I don't feel the same.
That I don't want you the way I want you.

I'm not fighting you.
I'm not fighting you.
I'm fighting me.
Fighting me. Fighting me.

I'm not hating you.
I'm not hating you.
I'm hating me.

I'm not hating you..I'm hating me.
Hating me for losing you
You were me
You were me
Now there's no me

Too long to figure this out.
Took a long time to see.
Hope it's not too long.
Say it's not too long.
Please say it's not too long.

****Let me know what you think? Should Amy risk it?