Bit of a long chapter this one...but a lot needed to be said. Would love to know what you think afterwards. If you were Amy would this be enough for you?

As Amy sat there on the floor tears rolling down her cheeks she really couldn't believe this was happening. Karma loved her after all! What the FUCK! Why did she wait all this time?

Amy read the letter again 'I lied to you Amy when I said I didn't love you the way you wanted me to.' Amy's heart was beating so fast. ' I lied then and I've been lying ever since. Every day. Every day is a lie'Amy felt a smile spread across her face as she read the last few words 'I love you Amy Raudenfeld.'

Amy seriously wanted to scream. This was all she had ever wanted back then. She had wanted Karma to admit the she loved her, felt the same way she did when they kissed. Wanted to spend all their time together. No one else was as important to Amy back then as Karma.

As happy as Amy felt, she was also really pissed that Karma had only just admitted this to her. If you love someone, like Karma claims to with Amy, you don't wait five years without telling! You don't stop talking to them. You don't throw them away like a disposable cup. Not if you REALLY cared about them. Amy grabbed her phone, Karma's letter and song had raised so many new questions in Amy's head that she had to see her. Had to get the truth from Karma. Why didn't she read the letter Amy sent her? Why did she allow five years of their lives to go past.

Amy dialed Karma's number and waited nervously for her to pick up.

"WOAHHHHH" Amy said said when she heard the phone connect

"I know!" Karma responded. "We...umm probably need to talk right?" Karma asked nervously. If Amy was nervous then Karma was 10 times worse. She had just confessed to being in love with her former best friend who she hadn't seen for five years.

"Yeah..." Amy replied "...we definitely need to talk. Can you come over?" "I have some family friends here at the moment. Karma replied. Her voice quaking with emotion. Amy could tell Karma like herself been crying."I can maybe get away in an hour or so, would that be OK?"

Amy had totally forgotten the fact that Karma was burying her parents tomorrow. "Oh god.. I'm sorry Karma. You must be crazy busy with the funeral and everything. This...this can wait.." As Amy said the words she didn't really mean it, but kinda thought it was the right thing to say.

"No!" Karma responded forcefully. "This has waited long enough Amy. I need to see you..." Amy swallowed hard hearing the need in Karma's voice and words. "I'll be there as soon as I can OK?"

"OK." Amy paused before adding " Karma..?"

"Yup?" Amy's heart was beating out of her chest but she couldn't not say it

"...I love you".

Karma's smile could be felt down the phone "I love you Amy".

Amy sat there motionless on the bedroom floor as she contemplated the need she had felt to tell Karma that she loved her. What did it all mean? Amy knew she did still have feelings for Karma, but she wasn't sure if they were enough. A lot of time had gone past. Karma had allowed a lot of time to go past. Was it too late? could they go back to how things were? Amy wasn't sure, and it would depend on what Karma said to her. Amy needed to know exactly how Karma was feeling and what she wanted.

The hour dragged so much. Amy had popped down to tell her mum that Karma was coming over as that they had some stuff to sort out. Karma's mum had tried to convince her the two of them should join her for dinner, but Amy was really not hungry at all! Instead she jumped in the shower and washed her hair. The water felt great in her shoulders which felt tight with tension. Amy then changed into three different outfits! She laughed at herself for being so ridiculous and for feeling like a teenager again. As Amy waited downstairs with her mum she felt the butterflies inside her stomach get bigger and faster by the minute.

Finally the door bell rang and Amy practically sprinted to the door. As she opened it, and saw Karma standing there, she felt like she couldn't breath.

"Hi" Karma said smiling her perfect smile at Amy who felt a wave of desire flood through her.

"Hi" Amy smiled back. The two of the stood staring at each other for longer than normal. It was only Amy's mum shouting from the living room that brought Amy to her senses.

"I'm sorry...Umm..come in"

"Thanks" Karma smiled again as she followed Amy into the house. The house that she had spent so much of her childhood in, but none of her adult life until now. After a brief conversation with Amy's mum the two of them made their excuses and heading upstairs, Karma following Amy into her bedroom.

Amy closed the door and leant back on it. Karma walked over to the bed and turned so they were facing each other. The tension filled the room instantly and Amy had to stay strong to resist the very strong desire she was feeling to rush over to where Karma was standing and kiss her. Taking a deep breath Amy decided distance was the best thing here and stayed by the door.

"Soooo..." Karma started, I guess you've read everything?" She said noticing the cards and the cd player. "This..umm this is all really fucking weird right?"

"REALLY WEIRD!" Amy agreed. "Karm...why the FUCK didn't you tell me?" Amy felt the tears start to form in her eyes. "Why the fucking hell did you wait SO long". Amy said the angry and frustration she was feeling was bubbling to the surface.

"Is it too late?" Karma asked.

Amy sighed "Yes..." paused and then added "...No..." Another pause "I honestly don't know karma... I mean I have a fucking girlfriend who is great and I love her and I live in New York and it's been five FUCKING YEARS!"

"I know!" Karma begged" believe me if I could change it I would. If...if I could turn back time I would. I so wish I could. I wish it was five years ago...I wish it was that night your mum got married I wish I came up here to find you...and I so very much wish I had told you the truth...told you how I really felt."

"Why didn't you Karma" Amy asked exasperated at what she was hearing.

"Because I was SO fucking scared. Scared of how you were making me feel. Scared how much you meant to me. Scared...scared of being gay!" Karma looked away as she said the word, unable to look at Amy.

"And by the looks of it you still are!" Amy said in response to Karma's reaction.

Karma shook her head to show Amy that she was wrong. "No..no I'm not. Not with you. With you I know completely what I want..who I want..." Karma added.

"It's just that I know I'm in love with you...I just haven't felt these feelings for anyone else male or female and I...I don't know what that makes me...? I just know that you are ALL I want."

Karma walked over and reached down and took Amy's hand in hers and continued "I wasn't as brave as you Amy. I couldn't deal with it back then. I couldn't deal with being 'different'."

Amy's heart was beating as she stood staring at Karma. Her hand in hers. Karma continued...

"I couldn't even read your letter. If I had I would have lost my reason to hate you."

"Why did you want to hate me?" Amy asked with tears in her eyes.

"When I found out that you had slept with Liam I hated you so much. I was so confused. I was struggling to deal with these feelings I had for you, and then..then I found out what had happened and I felt completely betrayed. Why would you do that if you loved me the way you claimed to?"

Amy interrupted "well if you'd had read my letter you would have understood why!" Amy snapped back.

"I know" karma responded. "I guess I was embarrassed of what had happened and it made me angry. I turned into a total bitch. It was the excuse I needed to forget about the way I felt about you. I blamed you because I was hurt, but mainly because it gave me a way out."

Karma paused and looked Amy in the eyes "does that make any sense? I hate myself for it, but that was why I did it."

Amy felt sad listening to Karma speak. How she was so scared of what she was feeling that she was prepared to end their friendship. "And what about Liam?" Amy asked

"I forgave Liam. He was always trying to make up for what happened and and we tried to have a relationship...but I think he knew deep down. I think he knew that I wasn't happy...that he was a substitute. Everyone will always be a substitute to you. You knew me better than I knew myself"

Amy swallowed hard, fighting back the tears "Karma...this is too much. I...I don't understand how you can have been in love with me for all these years and have not said anything! How you tossed me aside like our friendship meant nothing to you.."

"It meant the WORLD to me!" Karma interrupted before adding

"Amy I get that what I'm saying isn't easy to understand. I...I don't even understand it myself...I mean...I made such a fucking mess of the situation. I lost my best friend because I was scared. Scared of being in love with her. I...I'm not scared anymore.. I know now that you are the one person that will fill this hole inside me...the hole I made when I lied to you about how I felt. I...I massively fucked up. I know that. I know that you have every right to hate me, but I just really needed you to know why I did what I did. Why I said what I said that night..and why I've regretted it ever since"

The tears were flowing down Karma's cheeks and Amy felt overwhelmed by Karma's words. Her head was spinning trying to take it all in. To make sense of it all. Amy moved her hand up to Karma's cheek and gentle brushed away a tear. The touch of Karma's soft skin was electrifying to Amy. Her heart was beating so fast. She felt Karma's arms slip around her waist and she allowed herself to be pulled in by Karma. Amy wrapped her arms around Karma's body as the two of them stood there hugging each other, Amy felt her own tears still to fall as she held Karma tightly.

Karma whispered "I know it's taken me too long...I know I'm missed my chance and that you've long moved on...but I just really needed you to know why I did what I did..."

Amy didn't respond. She couldn't. The tears were too strong. Her mind and heart were racing so fast as she breathed in Karma's sent. She felt Karma's hand move from her back and stoke her hair. Amy was falling again...

She pulled away and wiped her cheeks with her sleeve, trying to compose herself.

"Karma...I get why you did what you did...I hate you for it...but I think you hate yourself more.."

Amy paused and saw the acknowledgement that she was right written all over Karma face.

"I did move on. I moved on a long time ago...but..." Amy felt sick to the stomach "but I meant what I said earlier...I do love you...and I...I don't know what is going to happen...but right now...I know that with every heartbeat...I'm falling back in love with you...and...and" Amy paused "I honestly don't know if that's such a good idea!"

Amy could see that Karma was disappointed, but she nodded in acceptance "Amy I understand..I understand why you would doubt this...but I promise...if you give me a chance..I'll prove it to you..I'll prove it to you how much I love you..."

Karma reached her hand up and gently ran her finger over Amy's lips. Amy felt her heart stop beating at the touch and a wave of desire flood between her legs.

"Karma...don't" Amy said weakly, not convincing anyone.

"I won't..." Karma replied as she pulled her hand away, to the disappointment of Amy "...but I want to SO much Amy...I want YOU so much it's an ache inside me that won't go away...that hasn't gone away for the past five years.."

Amy closed her eyes as she remembered how she used have that very same feeling. How she had only ever had that feeling with Karma.

Right then, Amy wanted Karma so much. She wanted karma to ignore everything Amy had just said about not being sure...she wanted her to pull her into her arms and kiss her. To finally touch her the way that she had longed to touch her...longed to be touched. She didn't know what would happen long term...but she wasn't thinking long term right then...she was just thinking of the there and then and how she was so turned on and how much she wanted to touch Karma.

Amy opened her eyes and saw Karma staring at her with such longing in her eyes. Amy slowly leant in close, so she could feel Karma's breath on her skin, the two of them not breaking eye contact as they gauged each other's thoughts and desires.

"AMY!" Amy's mum shouted upstairs breaking the spell

"Fuuuuuck" Karma said as they pulled apart and she collapsed on Amy's bed letting out a groan of frustration.

"I'm kinda busy mum" Amy shouted back downstairs as she smiled at Karma who was laughing at the situation. They had almost kissed. They had been so close...Amy felt frustrated but also slightly relieved that the spell had been broken before she had done something she had regretted.

Amy flopped down on the bed beside Karma and enjoyed the funny side of the situation.

"AMY!" Amy's mum called again

Amy groaned and jumped off the bed heading towards the door.

She opened it and headed towards the landing

"Mum...what is it? I said I was busy.."

Amy's mum appeared at the bottom of the stairs "Amy dear you have a visitor"

Amy watched in total surprise as Kate walked toward the bottom of the stairs and stood beside Amy's mum.

"Hey!"