I probably should have put a warning about the bad language in the chapter 17. I realised afterwards there was a lot of swearing in it, but it was a sweary kinda chapter.
Anyway...it's the day of the funeral. As always, if you have time leave a review as it's nice to hear what you think.
"Ohhhh Bugger!" It was the day of the funeral and Amy woke up having massively overslept.
It was already 10.30am and the funeral started at 11 and it was a good 20 minutes away in a cab. Amy hadn't been able to sleep at all last night, the events of evening playing across her mind every time she closed her eyes. She must have eventually fallen asleep around 6 o'clock and was now super late.
Amy quickly got dressed in the outfit she had brought with her from New York. She wore a crisp white shirt and a fitted black trouser suite. With no time to wash her hair she had pulled it up into bun on the top of her head. Amy applied some minimal makeup, choosing to skip the mascara, and then called a cab as she gathered her phone and bag.
In the cab journey there Amy tried to imagine how Karma must be feeling right now. Her parents were having a non religious cremation which Amy was pleased about. Growing up she had been forced to go to Church by her mum, but since coming out she found it difficult to be somewhere where they had such black and white views about homosexuality.
As the cab pulled into the venue Amy was 10 minutes late! She paid the driver and then ran towards the entrance opening the door as quietly as she could. Luckily there was music playing and everyone was standing up facing the front. As Amy closed the door behind her she turned to face the same way and saw the two coffins positioned next to each other and felt the tears form in her eyes. It was such a powerful image. Karmas parents were REALLY dead and this was it. The last goodbye.
Amy made her way to an empty row of chairs at the very back of the room, pleased that she seemed to have not attracted any attention with her lateness. As she stood there listening to the song being played she searched through the crowd and saw Karama's bowed head down the front and Liam standing next to her, with his arm around her shoulders.
Amy was a taken aback by the sight. Paranoia started kicking in...What did it mean? Why was Liam up the front, comforting Karma? They had split up...unless they had gotten back together after Karma had seen Kate arrive on the scene and Amy had effectively told her she was too late with that kiss with Kate. Karma didn't know that things had changed between Amy and Kate...and maybe Karma had ran to Liam for comfort!
OR...Amy tried to control the crazy thoughts, maybe he was just being a good friend. Sure he was her ex-boyfriend, but he was here purely to support her. The way Amy was supposed to have been...but she had been late. What would Karma think of her not being there? Especially after having seen Kate arrive and now it appeared that Amy hadn't even bothered to show up to her parents funeral. Good work Amy scorned herself!
Once the music finished everyone sat down and Amy tried to find Shane in the crowd. She couldn't see him and wondered if he was OK...if Kate was OK. A couple of Karmas parents friends who were buddists were now standing at the front gaving a reading about life being short and how everyone owed it to themselves to live life to the full and to treat people the way you would want to be treated. Amy thought of Kate and how badly she had handled that situation and promised herself that she wouldn't ever get herself into that sort of situation again. She promised to be more honest with herself and others from now on. She had probably lost Kate as a friend, but didn't want to lose Shane too. Amy set herself a task of calling him after and talking things over. Amys thoughts were interrupted by the words "And now Karma will say a few words..."
Amy looked up and saw Karma nervously walk to the lectern at the front of the packed room. Karma's eyes searching the sea of faces. Amy needed her to see that she WAS here, so she stood up slowly and Amy saw the relief in Karma's eyes as she saw Amy. Karma looked down at the piece of paper that she was holding. Her hands clearly shaking...tear stains visible on her cheeks. Karma opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.
She looked over towards Amy for support. She didn't look to Liam. She had looked at Amy and she knew what to do, how to help her friend. When they were growing up, Karma had called Amy her rock. How whenever Karma had been scared or nervous, Amy had always been there and said the right thing. Whenever Karma had a performance Amy would pretend to give her a piece of her...and piece of rock. Karma would use that piece of rock for support. This was a rock moment.
Still standing up, Amy pretended to pull a piece of rock off her arm and threw it in Karma's direction. Karma who was still standing at the front in silence, smiled as she saw what Amy was doing and reached out an arm to catch the pretend rock, still smiling over in the direction of the back of the room which caused a few people to turn round to see what was happening, including Liam. But Amy didn't care. She stood staring at Karma. The gesture said so much without any words needed to be said. Karma looked down at the imaginary rock in her hand and wiped a tear away that was rolling down her cheek. Turning to look at the place where her parents lay Karma started speaking...this time she had the strength to say the words..."my parents were different..."
Amy sat back down and watched Karma do the hardest she had ever done. "My parents were different...and they loved that. They were the odd kids at school that never got invited to the cool kids parties, were the kids that smelled of strange hippy potions and drank weird cups of tea and was way into the whole organic thing before Whole Foods were. Only Whole Foods kinda went and did it a bit better than my my mom and dad!" Karma paused a small chuckle went around the room.
"But that's OK you know. They were totally cool with that. They were cool with it because they had each other. They were soulmates. They started going out when they were sixteen and from that moment...to the day they..."
Karma stopped momentarily took a deep breath and continued "...to the day they died they loved and supported each other 100%. They were always there for each other, even when sometimes maybe they shouldn't have been. Like the time my dad ran the Austin Marathon dressed as a egg, organic of course, to raise awareness of free range chickens. Do you know how hard it is to run a marathon dressed as an egg?
I think I was maybe 6 and I remember we stood there for hours waiting at the finish line. Everyone else had finished hours before and then over the horizon, we saw him finally bobbling down the road. My mum was so proud of him. I...I well I was probably more embarrassed. The local newspaper took our photo which led to days of egg jokes!"
Amy remembered that day and how embarrassed Karma had been about it all. Amy knew that in the whole room she was probably the only one there that knew that. That knew how Karma had felt that day. Karma looked in her direction and gave Amy a small smile to acknowledge that.
"Anyway...the thing is my parents didn't care about not fitting in with the norm...I on the other hand...well I just really wanted to be normal...whatever that is." Amy watched as Karma looked over in Liam's direction, before she continued "...but my parents were right...they WERE different and unique and I realise that it's OK to be different...in fact...sometimes it's amazing to be different."
Karma turned and faced the coffins where her parents rested " . If you can hear me..I get it now. I get everything you did and why. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate it more. I'm sorry I wasn't as kind as you were. I promise I'll try...I'm going to be more like you...less afraid...and I'm going to be different. I AM different..." Amy felt the hairs on her skin stand up as Karma looked directly at her "...I hope I get to be different with MY soulmate." Karma cleared her throat and finished by saying "I love you both so much"