A/N: I don't own OUAT or the characters, all mistakes are mine. You lot know the drill by now :)
I had a wonderful vacation and birthday! I had a blast at Disneyland and got to see some of the costumes from OUAT at CA Adventure, and let me tell you not only was it amazing but a bit sickeningly crazy just how skinny and small those actors/actresses are!
Anyway I gained plenty of muse from my trip and from OUAT S3E5 which can I say I was fangirling and literally squealing through the entire eppie. I was stoked that Killian got more of a backstory that didn't revolve around Milah and I am so happy for it. As much as I love Ariel/Hook as my crackship OTP I was actually pretty excited about the kiss between Emma and Killian because I heart them as well.
Remember to read and review, it was fantastic coming back from vacation to see all the reviews and follows and favorites. Made my week.
Posted: 10/31/13
Part of His World
By: Morgansgurl
Her breathing was labored and yet still her lungs were burning as if she couldn't get any oxygen. Her throat was constricted tightly as salty tears streamed down her face silently and her heart thundered in her ears with its rapid pace. She was experiencing an array of emotions all at once, but the ones at the very forefront of her mind for the moment seemed to be the feeling of self-pity and an empty hollowness.
This was nothing like her first fairy tale go around with legs – even if granted by an evil witch with wicked ways and tethered strings. In the end she had still won out in a way, until the very end when her lover left her alone in this world. Still, she had been able to spend so many wonderful years with the man of her dreams, had a dream wedding and dream life.
This time around it was dark with little light at the end of the tunnel of hope.
How ironic that her first steps on land were tethered to strings but filled with the happiest moments of her life, and her second chance free of all fine print was littered with pain and suffering that was sure to continue. She was silently cursing the day this bloody ship showed up directly in her path. Briefly she wondered what on the many worlds she had done to deserve this kind of karma payback. Surely whatever powers that be had planned this for her. In her many many lifetimes the one thing that she had come to learn to be true was that nothing was completely accidental.
Every event in time was purposeful and planned, as if all the creatures were simply going through the motions of a path that had already been mapped out for them. So why? Why was she on this particular path, what had she done to deserve it?
Maybe this second chance wasn't worth it.
Perhaps the true gift here was that she could die easily as a human.
Maybe.
Just maybe.
Maybe if she jumped from this horrid bloody ship she would finally find her true peace and end up in the arms of Eric again. Maybe her happiness was to finally be found in death. It was such a wishful thought and probably unlikely and yet it seemed more promising than staying here awaiting the wrath of a man that would possibly kill her anyway in a slow and painfully drawn out way. Why risk the torture when she could just…jump.
She could be free.
It would all be over before she knew it. The suffering wouldn't last long even if it felt like forever.
She had witnessed many a man drown before – it never took long.
A bit of struggle for air, the carnal panic that would flash through their eyes when they realized their fate and the dismal fact that there would be no escaping it this time around. The frantic fight as they tried with all their willpower and strength to get to the surface to gulp in that lifesaving breathe only to instead sink further into the abyss. Finally, the moment of acceptance as the last bubbles of air filtered past their lips and their struggles ceased, the panic shining in their eyes dulling to a sad resignation. It was painful to watch. After though, when their last breath had been ripped from their lungs and filled with water - they appeared so peaceful. Every line of tension and stress erased from their face as they floated soulless in the waters depth. It was like they had finally found salvation - freed from their troubles and struggles - as their bodies slowly drifted into the abyss of Davey Jones locker.
It would be terrifying at first, but eventually she would find that same absolution.
She would be free.
Ariel licked her cracked lips, her hands clutched the edge of the window frame which she had thrown open violently in haste as soon as she had entered the room again. Her steps shaky and unsteady as she climbed up onto the seat and inched towards the edge of the open window until she was standing on the very edge of the sill – the toes of her boots barely hanging over the edge. The wind was whipping her hair about her face and with each uneasy breath the scent of salt water and the unique smell of the ocean assaulted her senses.
Perhaps she should jump just to prove that insufferable pirate Captain wrong. Just to spite him. That would show him to make assumptions and maybe it would make a small dent in his suffocating arrogance. Though a tiny part of her doubted it would do anything to him at all. His eyes had been so dark and haunted when she had looked into them. A brilliant blue color but there was no more glitter or dazzle lighting them up. His gaze was almost as hallow as she felt inside.
The thought of him made a shudder run down the back of her spine and she was yet again tempted to let go and just dive down into the waiting icy waters below her.
A part of her didn't want to do it though. A small nagging voice in the back of her mind was telling her not to let go, to hold on for a little longer. She tried to quiet it a few times, push it down deep and bury it into silence, but she couldn't shake it no matter how hard she tried. It was tethered to an almost desperate feeling inside, willing her to stay aboard.
The survivor in her wanted to stick it out, wanted to prove that infuriating pirate wrong and still keep her life. She wanted to get out of this and strike that man down, and the only way to do that would be to make it out alive. To live. To stick this out just long until they made it to land and she could make a run at escape.
Choices.
All the choices.
She had to choose.
"Ariel…" She turned around at the sound of her name, her breath catching in her throat, the motion of turning quickly causing her to almost lose her footing teetering precariously on the windows ledge. It was that blond pirate, standing just in the room with a shocked and bewildered look on his face. He must have learned her name from the Captain. "Don't do it, milady." He told her softly, taking a tentative step forward.
"Why not!" she snapped, using one hand to brush her hair behind her ear in a rough movement.
"Because you don't really want too." he told her, taking another tentative step, one hand out like he was trying to tame a wild dog.
"Don't presume to know what I want!" she snapped again, her tone tight and clipped even though tears still ran down her cheeks, a sob catching in her throat. Her eyes were misty and red with her pain and it pulled at his heart to see it so clearly on her beautiful features.
"You would have jumped already if it was what you truly desired." He tried to reason, tilting his head to one side in an inquisitive manner. "I don't think you were gifted with legs just to throw your new life away, do you?" he asked, his voice calm, a contradiction to the concern and worry that were flashing over his facial features and in his eyes. How different these two pirate men where when she compared John to the Captain. John struck her as the type that shouldn't have been on a pirate ship in the first place, there was something about his demeanor and aura that were out of place in this setting.
"What life!" she laughed humorlessly, looking at him over her shoulder, feet still perched on the edge. "I am a prisoner to a horrible man, pray tell what kind of future could I possibly have on this retched ship with you vile men." Another sob caught in her throat painfully. The memories of the Captain's breath mixing with hers when he had leaned in and threatened to defile her supposed innocence. The feel of the metal as it had sunk into her chest and the stinging burning pain that still lingered around the wound. She didn't want to know what would be next – she didn't want to stick around to find out. She turned away from John and looked out towards the water leaning over the ledge just a bit, being held back by her arms as she still clutched the frame of the window.
"I won't justify or excuse his actions, but he isn't the worst man, just a damaged one." He tried to explain as he took a few steps further, now near the center of the room. A hint of desperation finally entered his voice.
"Isn't the worst man!?" she shot back. Ariel pulled herself back and brought her fingertips up to the cut on her neck and smeared some blood onto the tips of three fingers, flashing them behind her with a hard gaze as if to iterate her point with a literal bloody example. "Where is the line he would need to cross for you to change your mind?" she snapped, feeling irritation and disgust that he would actually defend that monster of a man. It made him just as vile in her opinion.
"He," John pursed his lips for a moment, trying to figure a way out of this precarious situation – realizing he needed to tread carefully with his next words. "He used to have such a weakness for a pretty face." He said under his breath but it was still loud enough that Ariel caught it and scoffed. "I've never known him to harm a woman before this moment, but…." he trailed off as if trying to gather his thoughts. "Have you ever been in all consuming true love?" he asked, and the question took her by surprise. Of course she had.
"Not that I would you tell you!" she huffed. "Why would that matter now?" she asked harshly.
"He was in love once." John pointed to the painting on the wall of the beautiful dark haired woman. "With her. She made him a better man. She was – recently taken from him you see, and his heart has gone black with revenge and anger…it isn't an excuse I know…" he told her, feeling out of his element.
"Is that why he wants to find the Oracles?" she asked, feeling a pang of curiosity and just a hint of sadness for the Captains situation that she bitterly shoved back down. She shouldn't sympathize with that monster. Only a fool searched for those vicious creatures. She supposed by what little John had told her that the Captain was a foolish man driven by love – or the loss thereof.
"Yes." John replied simply. "In fact we are sailing toward Lydia now." He added, trying to read her reaction.
"You should join me in jumping then." She said quietly, a wild fear entering her eyes. "I promise it would be a much kinder death." At least now her tears had seemed to slow. A somber expression gracing her beautiful features. Even now she was still a stunningly beautiful woman. Exotic in a way that no woman he had ever come across before could compare to. The gift of being born a mermaid he supposed.
"Perhaps, but I owe that man my life and I can't abandon him now." He told her, his tone sounding as if he were pleading with her now to understand. " I will die by his side if I must." He added quietly, revealing a bit of his soul to her in that brief moment. A few stints of silence passed between them before he looked up and caught her gaze with a renewed spark and determination "If I promise to help you escape off this ship, will you agree step down from the ledge?" he asked, his words implying that it cost him much weight on his soul to say.
"You would do that?" she asked with a cautious tone, her eyes searching his.
"I don't make promises I don't intend to keep milady. You can trust me as a man of my word." He said sincerely, taking a few more steps closer and reaching his palm out to her but making no move to force her down. It was a gesture of good faith; he was allowing her to make the choice. She could see in his eyes that there were no plans of malice or trickery. A gut feeling deep inside pushed its way forefront telling her she could trust in his word and believe his sincerity. She desperately hoped she wouldn't come to regret following that gut instinct later.
"How did a man of your heart end up here?" she asked gently, wiping some of the tears away with the back of one hand. There was something about John's presence that was oddly comforting even in this moment. He was a man of a different world than this, a different place. He didn't belong to piracy. There was something about him she couldn't quite put her finger on yet.
"That is a long story, one I might tell you if you come down, before I have a heart attack if you will." He teased lightly but his eyes still betrayed a deeper set of emotions, reaching his hand out a bit further to emphasize his request.
A few beats of silence stretched on between them before she finally stretched out her fingers and entwined her small hand in his – accepting his help. She stepped away and down from the ledge, his other hand going to her hip and helping steady her as she jumped down from the seat onto the floor in front of him. She took in an uneven breath and tried to calm her nerves, his hand still holding hers as they looked into each others eyes, searching for different things and both appearing satisfied with what they found in the other. It was like there was an unspoken bond now between them and as much as she didn't want to trust it, it was all she had.
Then the weight of what she almost did hit her full force and she felt weak and sick, her legs giving out from under her with the proverbial heaviness. He caught her gracefully in his arms, holding her up and moving to sit them down on the sill as she started to take in heavy breaths.
"You're alright now, milady." He whispered into her hair as she leaned on him for support both emotionally and physically.
"I almost – I" she whispered under her breath, feeling the wetness of tears mist her eyes again. Eric would have never wanted that for her, and in their many long masses hadn't she learned that some believed that if you took your own life your soul would never be at rest, you would never find happiness in the afterlife. She had almost ruined everything. She had foolishly let that pirate get under her skin and it almost cost her. Ariel, in that moment, promised herself she wouldn't be so rash, a hardened determination entering her soul.
She was a survivor. She needed to start acting like one.
"Yes, but you didn't." he told her softly, his voice full of so much understanding she couldn't comprehend it. "It's ok now." He added, pulling his hand that she was still clutching away to wrap it back around her shoulder and pull her closer. He had seen Killian contemplate his own death many times, talked him out of it numerous times. It was a fine line between fanning his best friends thirst for revenge to keep him alive and keeping him from losing all of himself to it. He was no stranger to the lost soul searching for a quick end.
"Did you mean what you said?" she asked in a whispered tone. "About helping me?" she clarified, even though it wasn't needed. He knew exactly what she was talking about.
"Every word." He confirmed with conviction.
"Even though it means betraying your Captain?" she pressed, needing to know for sure that he truly meant it.
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him; this will be our little secret." He told her, squeezing her shoulder. "I can't make you trust me or believe me, but I swear I will keep my word to you and help you off this ship." He added after a few moments of silence. He would help her if it meant getting her away from Killian, he hadn't seen the man's temper inflamed so much by a single person for some time; he didn't need her around to act as the catalyst pushing his best friend over the edge.
"Thank you." She answered sincerely, feeling the first inkling of true kindness. Something about him told her he would honor his word. It just seemed to be his character. She couldn't quite place it - it was just a feeling. Not only that but right now it was also her only hope, unless she could come up with a better plan later.
"I was fourteen," he started quietly "my father was a commander in Her Majesties Navy and I was expected to follow in his footsteps, nothing less would be acceptable for my family. As the obedient son I did as I was told and went through the grueling basic training and took my first step onto a Royal War Ship at fifteen, a month later we were off to war." His voice was barely above a whisper and the last words were said with an emotion she couldn't quite place but it certainly wasn't a fond memory. "The things I saw some of the other men do, the crimes against women, children, the defenseless, innocent, and elderly. You can spew all the names you want about this crew and this life but these men, these pirates, they might not be perfect but they have a code and a set of rules and most importantly they honor them."
He continued and she let him, listening intently and patiently without interrupting "In war there are no rules, but there are certain expectations of a young commander's son. The pressure to make a name for yourself, to climb the ranks, to make your family proud of you was overwhelming." He took a breath and she felt the arm around her shoulders squeeze momentarily as if he were trying to comfort himself in the action. "If my aristocratic mother knew of the things I had partaken in and been forced to do she would had disowned me and been rightfully disgusted." He spoke the words of his mother with a gentle kindness and a bitter sadness. "One day our ship was plundered and overtaken by pirates when I was eighteen, our weapons and valuables stripped from us."
Ariel was sure that the pirates he spoke of were none other than the very ones currently on this ship.
"Held at sword point with our hands bound the Captain offered to allow any of those who wanted to join his crew. I was the only one to take him up on the offer. When I stepped on his ship I felt a sense of inexplicable relief wash over me – I finally felt free." He breathed out a deep sigh and she tilted her head up from his shoulder to look at him and saw that his eyes were closed and the faintest of smiles was on his lips.
She understood the feeling. That moment when her feet touched sand and she was free from the ocean. It was expected of her to become queen of the sea, it was her home, and yet still she had felt trapped, suffocating in her fate. Until she had done the forbidden. She supposed him stepping foot onto a pirates ship was the same as her stepping onto the beach. Against everything they were made to be and yet it felt more like home then home itself. More importantly it felt free.
"What happened to the others?" she asked gently. She saw a small frown wash over his features momentarily.
"As a test of my loyalty or sincerity or whatever it was, he handed me a match and a liquor bottle with a rag stuffed into the top. I was ordered to set my naval ship with my comrades aboard it aflame…." His voice trailed off and he swallowed hard.
"Did you?" she asked quietly, feeling a heavy pit in her stomach start to form.
"I did." He answered honestly, the barest hint of guilt lacing his words "And I would do it again. As I watched the ship burn and sink and the men die I realized I was not only saving myself but also those very men. If they were to return to port having been defeated by a ship of mercenary pirates, Her Majesty would have hanged them all and their families dishonored and shamed – It was much easier to let Her and their families imagine they had simply perished at sea, perhaps victims of a raging storm. At least that way their families would be justly compensated for their loss." He finished softly.
"He killed all those men." She breathed, a sense of sorrow filling her being.
"No." he told her definitively "I killed those men." That admission and truth hung heavy in the air and suddenly her perception of John changed. Still, she found herself trusting him and didn't pull out of his relaxed embrace. "Don't pity those men," he told her seriously "I had participated in more twisted ploy's under their short command then I ever have while a member of this crew. In addition to saving them from a hanging, by setting that ship aflame I was saving countless others that were soon to come across their wicked ways. Some souls aren't to be mourned." He finished.
Ariel digested his words and his meanings. She had a flashback to a moment when her kingdom was at war with another over some silly reason she couldn't quite recall. She remembered how Eric had informed her that she shouldn't worry herself with the details of a man's sport. When she would come across two soldiers who had returned from the war laughing and joking only to hear them quiet up and gaze down when they noticed her coming down the hall.
She couldn't imagine those men to be rapists and child killers, she couldn't imagine them pillaging a small village town or stealing the keepsakes of an elderly grandmother. She couldn't imagine them running a sword through a sick husband in front of his family for fun. Those were actions meant for pirates, those were the deeds of evil men. Her army wasn't like that, couldn't be like that.
Then there were the small memories of her chamber maids, one dark haired maiden fingering a new gold necklace saying her lover had returned from the war with it. Another maiden in a new pair of shoes, and yet another with a new dress – all with the same reasoning that their loves had returned with them.
Returned.
Not purchased, but had brought back.
"I don't know much of the ways of war...or the consequences." She admitted quietly, feeling ashamed at how obvious the signs must have been but how she had just glanced over all of them as harmless. She should have pressed harder for more information; she should have been a better Queen.
"As you shouldn't, not as a lady." She heard John answer, as if it were the most obvious reason in the world for her not to know. As far as she was concerned that wasn't a very good excuse or reason. She had let Eric brush her concerns and questions aside time and time with idle assurances that things were fine while their kingdom became inexplicably richer.
"What were you fighting for?" she asked softly.
"I was one of the many kingdoms that participated in the Ogre wars." He answered honestly.
"Yet still people were injured?" she asked, trying to comprehend something uncomprehend-able.
"Many that shouldn't have been. A certain kind of man joins a war," he explained "Those that are expected to and those that thrive off the violence. Sometimes those qualities are found in the same man." He added darkly, the flashes of reminiscence haunting his eyes.
"And it's different now, with these pirates?" she asked, almost scoffing as she pulled away from his comforting embrace.
"Ariel," he sounded almost as if he was about to be condescending to her, but his voice was gentle and kind as he turned to look her in the eye, picking one of her hands back up in his and holding it on his knee "Pirates are generally in it for themselves, they are self-serving and selfish and some of them are unkind and downright brutal, but for the most part everyone on this ship became a pirate for the same reasons – for freedom and for adventure. Everyone here is or was running from something at one time – it's that unspoken bond that makes us loyal to one another." He was trying so hard to make her understand, but it wasn't something you could learn from the words of another, she would simply have to come to her own understanding about it. She wasn't sure she understood what he was trying to say but she nodded anyway.
Ariel stood up and walked away from where John was still seated, running her hand through her wind kissed tresses. She made her way over to the globe and spun it absent mindedly as she passed it over to the painting that hung behind the desk. The dark haired woman was beautiful, could have been a mermaid in her own right. Even in just a painting she commanded respect and attention. Ariel let her fingers swipe gingerly across the oils on the canvass as she looked up at the woman with hair as unruly as hers only black as night.
She closed her eyes and tried to imagine what lengths she would have gone for her own love. She tried to imagine him murdered and the flicker of an instant rage filled her. She had done so much just to be with him, she had sacrificed her family, her underwater throne, her way of life for a man on land. She almost lost her voice, almost lost her life for him.
Pirates were selfish.
John's words were filtering through her mind. Her vision kept going back to the haunted look in the Captain's eyes, just behind the anger and arrogance. She wondered if she looked just as haunted with her constant memories of Eric coming forefront recently.
"You won't find the Oracles in Lydia," she said loudly turning to face John who was still seated watching her curiously, her voice reflecting the sense of strength she had found during her inner search "You need to travel to Delphi."
John studied her answer, his eyes narrowing as he too stood up. "But we inquired about Delphi with Pan and he said we wouldn't find them there, he told us to look in Lydia and if not then Arcadia." His tone was that of confusion and questions.
"You lot trust Peter of all creatures to guide you correctly and honestly?" she scoffed with disgust. "Then you truly are lost fools." She added with a sarcastic laugh, her memories of her interaction with the boy king trudging up unpleasant emotions.
"And we should trust you?" John challenged gently, taking a few steps closer but the desk still remain between them. Ariel just shrugged at his question, turning back towards the painting before stepping away to idly play with some of the trinkets on the shelves.
"Believe me or not, the Oracles you seek are in Delphi and a unbecoming death awaits on a quest to Lydia." She added, picking up the telescope and looking through it out the window before pushing it closed and setting it back down. This room held such different gadgets and gismos then her castle had before. She turned around only to run into John who had snuck up behind her when she hadn't been paying full attention.
She felt his hand come up to her chin and lift her head a bit, his hold so different than that of the Captain's harsh grip. This was tender, almost loving. "Lydia," he started in a whispered voice "Why does such fear enter your beautiful eyes when I mention the place?" he asked. Ariel tried to cast her gaze down with the flush that entered into her cheeks at the mention of his compliment and she was thankful that he didn't make a crude comment at her reaction.
Her small hand came up to wrap around his wrist as she gently coaxed his hand from her chin, her sudden realization that he was standing so close to her making her feel uncomfortable and she took a small step backwards, thankful when he didn't follow. There was a quickening to her heart developing that she didn't want to dwell on.
"Lydia is more mystifying and beautiful then any land you have ever laid eyes on," she started with a far off look in her eyes. "It's the getting there that will kill you, for a land so rich is protected." She finished darkly, glancing away from John's heavy gaze.
"By what?" he asked. When she stayed silent, her lips pursed between her teeth and her fingers trembling he brought his hand up to her cheek and ducked his own body down so that he could look up at her down cast gaze. "Tell me Ariel, what about Lydia has you so afraid?" he prodded, his hands falling to her shoulders.
"Its passage way is protected by Sirens," she breathed. "The true Sirens." She added the weight of her words feeling lost. She wasn't sure John would understand the severity of her words but it was a part of her history she would never forget. The Sirens forged the merfolk from the intensity of the sun and the fierceness of the ocean storm, infused with the very beauty of the moon and stars and gifted with a voice only marginally comparable to that of the Sirens own. Her kind were created to serve the Siren's whims and to care for the creature truly in charge of protecting Lydia, the Kraken. "Lydia is their home and they will protect it at all cost." She explained, leaving out the part where Lydia was the true location of that which all man seek, the very fountain of youth, something her kind knew to be truth but that most mortal only guessed to be a rumor ill discovered when faced with the Sirens particular brand of guard dog. "They conjured a creature so deadly and ruthless that they had to create another creature born of the sea to care for it and control it."
"The mermaid?" John asked, having an inkling to where Ariel was heading with her story.
"Yes." She nodded. This story was millennia old and some truth had been lost between then and now she was sure but the gist of it was the same. The Mermaid was the keeper of the Kraken. Servants to the Sirens.
"What did they create, was it the fabled lock ness monster? The giant squid?" he pressed, trying to understand what she was telling him and feeling his own fear start to form in the pit of his being.
"They created the Kraken." She whispered.
"The Kraken." He stressed, feeling his hands drop away from Ariel to his side as he stood taller, his back ridged with tension. He had heard stories before but never imagined the creature to be real. Then again he had heard of Neverland and never imagined the world to exist either.
"Do you understand why we can't travel to Lydia…" Ariel asked, trailing off as she turned and went back to the window that had been left open, the breeze flowing in and playing with the locks of her hair again as she reached her hand out and closed the glass, latching it shut. "We would all perish. You would be killed." She said under her breath as she felt her eyes mist up again for an unplaceable reason.
"Let's get you cleaned up shall we?" John asked, as he ran a hand through his gold locks. He had gotten what he was intended to – to find the location of the Oracles from the red head. He believed her that they were located in Delphi now he would just have to convince the Captain of the same. It wouldn't be an easy feat and one most probably accompanied with many a glass of rum. "I can have Doc treat that wound." John said as he motioned to her blood stained blouse and the gash that ran along the crook of her neck down to her sternum were a deep puncture wound existed, crusting over with dried blood.
"Why when there is sure to be another and another." She said turning to look at him with such sad eyes that he had to quell the urge to take the woman back into his arms. He wanted to murmur that everything would be alright. He wanted to take away her fear and her pain but that wasn't possible because she was Killian's new toy, his new pet, and Killian was the Captain. John couldn't go up against him, not on this. They would both have to deal with the cards they had been dealt.
"Ariel…" he tired but the words were lost on his lips.
"It's alright." She smiled faintly, her fingers brushing across the stained cotton.
"It won't be this way forever." He told her gently, trying in vain to find a way to comfort her. Killian might not have a soft spot for such a pretty face anymore since the loss of his love, but that didn't mean John couldn't. She was such a beautiful creature, it was hard for even him to ignore.
"No I suppose it won't." she smiled at him, an honest smile this time, one that almost lit up her moss green eyes. It wouldn't be this way forever, not when he kept his promise to her and helped her escape from this ship.
"I'll fetch Doc for you; we don't want that wound to get infected." He told her after a few beats of awkward silence, both looking at the other as if wishing to say more but unknowing what it was. He bowed slightly and turned on his heel as he exited and shut the door behind him with a soft click, leaving her to her thoughts for the moment. Surprisingly she felt far more calm and collected after his visit, she felt she could face the Captain and whatever he had coming for her tonight now.
"There that should do it lass." Doc told her with a whirly smile as he dabbed the wound resting just above the valley of her breasts. He had been so professional as he cleaned and treated the wound, even though her cheeks had turned a fiery red that would make even her hair envious of the color. The stitches hadn't been as fun, in fact they had been incredibly painful as he worked the needle and thread through her skin the only anesthetic available being rum that burned painfully as he poured it over the wound.
"Thank you," she said sincerely. She had removed the blouse out from under the corset as instructed so Doc could have better access to the wound, but now she felt exposed with her breasts pushed up by the fully body corset and no shirt to cover the indecency.
"No need to thank this old hoot, simply doing my job." He told her with a laugh as he went about packing up his black travel bag, putting the tools away and tossing the bloodied rags to the side on the floor to be tossed overboard.
"Healing is more than a job, it's a calling, a gift." She told him with a kind smile as she helped gather the soiled scraps of cloth. She remembered the healers at the castle and how she had been envious of such a gift, of course some of them used magic but others in the village used what they called the old ways, true and tested.
"Not many see it that way, perhaps I have been away from civilization to long eh?" he added conversationally with a chuckle as he clicked the bag shut and pushed himself up from his seated spot with a bit of effort and a grunt.
"Perhaps, but still it's much appreciated." She said again, reiterating her thanks to someone who considered it either undeserving or was so unused to it. She imagined that not many of the pirates on board bothered to thank him for mending wounds "All of it." She added, her mind fluttering back to when she still had her fin and yet he had helped her without prejudice.
"You can repay me by keeping yourself out of such states lass," he motioned towards the wound along her neck and chest. "That will leave behind an unsightly scar." He told her, his eyes scrutinizing the stitches that traveled up from her breasts and along one clavicle to the edge of one side of her neck. It looked much nastier than it was but then again most wounds did. Still, he didn't need to be told what had caused it, he could venture a hearty guess based on how the wound looked and the stories he had heard making their way down the decks.
"Yes well, your Captain has quite the temper to behold." She said as her fingers trailed up ghosting over the wound and the stitches. "I can't imagine keeping out of such states will be easy." She muttered, brushing her hair over her shoulders so as to cover her bosom.
"Would it be easier to keep from such situations if you were around the man less?" Doc asked curiously, giving her a look her father used to once give her when he was coming up with a plan he thought was rather brilliant. The last time she had seen that look on her father's face was when he had thought to let her keep stormy her giant sea horse.
"I wager it would…" She trailed on, narrowing her eyes in curious suspicion as she eyed the doctor. "What are you up to old man?" she asked teasingly. She felt truly safe and comfortable around Doc and she wondered what his story was, how he ended up here on this ship with these pirates. Even when she was in her true Mermaid form he hadn't feared her and his eyes hadn't been filled with judgment or fear. How was it she could meet so many people on this small ocean vessel that understood her true nature? It was something she hadn't revealed to Eric until she absolutely had to, when they both realized she wasn't aging.
The initial look of shock and disgust that had clouded Eric's eyes was brief but there none the less – a look she would never forget no matter how hard she tried too. He despised her true nature, he never said it, but they never spoke of it after. Even when she tried to bring it up he would brush it aside. He didn't want to hear about her other life, her other form. He wanted to pretend she had never told him. Maybe a little bit of him envied her seemingly eternal youth. She was sure part of him begrudged her for the lie.
"Now dear, I am hardly that old, least not yet." He teased back with a chuckle as he picked up his bag. "I was just thinking, in my old age as you kindly pointed out, I could use a helping hand – an assistant as you would suppose. Perhaps you would be interested?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"I – " she paused. She wanted to blurt out yes, that she would love to, but did she have the option. Could she commit to something as a prisoner, when her will wasn't her own to give. " Her look of excitement faltered and filled with one of anxious sadness. "I want to, I really do but I fear I can't give you my word when it isn't mine to give." She said sheepishly while feeling ire at her situation.
"Ah the Captain." Doc nodded in understanding. "You let me handle that old brute, we'll have you down in my study in no time." He winked at her with a devious smile that made her wonder how he was so confident that he could get the Captain to do as he wished. "There is much to learn and little time to waste." He told her happily. She would be his first student in a long time. "As long as your answer is yes?" he asked, stepping up to her and giving her a scrutinizing look.
"Yes, I would love to learn." She said wistfully. It would give her something to do while she was trapped on this ship, and it would be a useful skill to have out in the real world. Her only skill thus far was her voice which she dare not use willingly, and her training as a Queen which would do nothing for her without a king or a prince or a kingdom. She had to face the reality that when she escaped she would be the very commoner she once ruled over and mingled with. She would have to find a way to live and support herself.
"Well then it's settled." He nodded affirmatively. For the first time since she could remember her smile was wide and innocent and genuine. Ariel was always an ever curious creature, she loved new things and this would be useful and interesting. "I'll see you soon darling." He said kindly "Until then," he reached into a side pocket on his bag and pulled out an old leather bound book that looked well-worn and used and handed it to her.
"What's this?" she asked as she opened the book and flipped through its pages the sight of blurred words and pictures passing by quickly, the smell of dusted parchment filling her senses.
"Why it's a book." He laughed, and the expression on her face at his reply had him laughing harder until it turned into a fit of coughs due to his age. "It's a book of anatomy, you are going to need it if you plan to do any of what I do half as good as I do it." He said in a slightly challenging tone, making his way to the exit with a slight limp in his step but not bad enough that he required a cane. "Take care of it." He told her with a fathers smile before he exited and shut the door quietly behind him.
"I will." She promised to the empty room, running her fingers along the spine of the book. She glanced around the room and picked out a drawer that looked infrequently used and stashed it in the very back behind some old dusty nick knacks that rattled around the drawer as she closed it. Looking around the room now that she was truly alone she could feel her anxiety and apprehension return tenfold. The sun was sinking over the horizon coloring the sky's with brilliant oranges and reds.
She removed her clothes as quickly as she could and slipped back into her green dress. It was the most comfortable for sleeping in and it at least had a semblance more modesty than the corset without a blouse under. Ariel also didn't want the clothes to bring back the Captain's bad mood, if it had even dissipated. With that thought she pulled her hair over her shoulder again and combed it over the stitched up wound – it was hard enough to hide but at least she could cover it some. She didn't want to witness that same anger again.
Ariel had fitted about the room for a few long moments before she settled to seating on the padded sill again, looking out at the ocean. She should have asked John if she could have been moved to his quarters instead, or to the Doc's quarters below deck or to anywhere but the Captain's quarters – but she knew that would have been pointless. Especially if the Captain considered her his new pet of sorts. The thought of his wrath made her briefly think the brig would be worth a stay for a night or two.
When the door opened this time though she didn't visibly flinch, she just closed her eyes tightly and fisted her hands into the material of her dress. She heard the heavy sigh fall from his lips as he stalked over to the desk and deposited is jacket and vest yet again, and the familiar sounds of him removing his belt and sword before he walked over to the liquor cabinet and pulled out the bottle of choice for the night and a glass this time though as he passed by her to what she thought was the desk he sat on the sill across from her, holding out a glass to her.
She eyed him suspiciously before she reached out an unsteady hand and took the proffered glass. Her eyes narrowed when he pulled the cork out of the bottle with his teeth and spit it aside, his hook coming up and trapping her wrist – to which this time she did flinch and he noticed. He kept her wrist in place and filled her glass with an amber colored liquid. She kept it there perched on her knee unsure of what to do next as she watched him fill his own glass before leaning back and setting the bottle onto the desk off to the side just behind them.
Ariel watched as he leaned back and perched one leg up,`what are you up to?`she thought as he let his hook hang off his raised knee casually, the other boot placed on the floor. The posture could have almost been interpreted as provocative if it weren't for the way in which he seemed focused on the rum in his good hand as he took a healthy drink from the full tumbler.
"You can have some of yours too lass." He gestured with the glass still in his hand at her drink, some of his sloshing over the edge of the cup. This time it didn't sound like an order but a genuine offer. She raised the glass to her nose and sniffed, her nose crinkling at the harsh smell of it as it assaulted her senses before bringing it to her lips and letting it slide down her throat. The burn caused her to cough harshly a bit as she made a face and his laughter rang out and this time it didn't sound quite like he was laughing at her. "It will go down easier with time love." He told her, holding his glass up in a mock cheers "To…a good day." He said heavily as he took another hearty drink from his glass
"I would hate to see a bad day." she said her tone clipped but not nearly as snappish as it could have been. The thought of the day she had had had her tossing the glass back fully downing the contents much in the way she had seen the Captain before her do. She started to choke heavily, leaning forward trying not to retch up the liquid as she dropped the glass onto the floor thankful it didn't break. Rum was absolutely nothing like the fine wine in the castle she was used to, and a lady should never down a drink but she figured the circumstances would forgive her bad manners. Besides maybe she could get drunk enough to forget the entire day and pass out – that would be lovely. She wasn't sure what was more truly unsettling about his demeanor.
"There there love," she heard him say as she felt him scoot closer to her on the seat, his hand reaching over himself and rubbing up and down her back gently as she felt him pat heavily just between her shoulder blades to aid her. "You're not supposed to choke on it you know," she glared up at him from under her hair as she sat back up, fighting the urge to cough a few more times "Rum I meant, you're not supposed to choke on rum, other things well….." he trailed off with a chuckle and picked up his glass and downed it as she had done only smoothly and with no reaction other than a lecherous grin that he let go of just as quickly.
She was tempted to scoff or say something sarcastic about his choice of sentence and the euphemism clearly behind it, but she didn't trust her voice quite yet to not turn into another coughing fit. Instead she accepted silently when he handed her back her glass and filled it again, making a slight face at the rum in the glass. Her stomach turned a little at the sight but he gave her an encouraging grin and raised his glass slightly and this time she followed suit if not cautiously – she was still very suspicious of his intentions here. She would almost prefer the anger and wrath she had expected to this – whatever this was.
The silence stretched out between them along with the tension that only she probably felt. She sipped at her drink this time, careful to avoid a repeat of the earlier embarrassment. For a bit he didn't seem interested in her anymore as he looked out the window to the ocean, the brilliant orange from the sky gone now as the sun had dipped beyond the horizon and a light twilight filling the air. Ariel took the moment to study him, his features and posture were relaxed, but there was a slight tension in the way in which his fingers held the glass occasionally twirling the contents before taking a drink. There was the way in which every few breaths he inhaled deeply and held it for a second or two before letting it fall out in a nearly inaudible sigh, usually followed by a healthy drink of rum.
What really intrigued her was the look in his eyes. They were an exquisite blue, but they were dim, casted in shadows she didn't understand and couldn't place. It was the haunted and troubled look beneath the calm surface that had her feeling he was almost human instead of a monster. Even she could tell there was so much pain under the surface of his façade of relaxation, his world troubled even if he tried to set the perception that it wasn't.
Ariel glanced away, back out the window instead and taking another sip from her own glass when he turned his gaze to her. Her cheeks inflamed at being caught in what seemed like such an intimate and personal moment for him. The way she had unabashedly watched and studied him, possibly against his knowledge, though she doubted that last part.
She was so intent on not paying attention to him after being caught, that the feeling of his hand brushing her hair behind her shoulder gently, which had been covering the majority of the wound he had caused to her, startled her. Ariel hadn't realized that the Captain had leaned forward close enough to reach out and touch her, and she admonished herself for that fact. She felt the urge to pull away but the deeply pained sadness that flashed across his features stopped her and she watched him cautiously – fully away of the droplet stain on her dress still there from his threat the other night. This approach and touch seemed worlds apart from that though and it had her confused.
He ghosted the pad of his thumb down the stitches, barely touching the heated skin underneath – a focused and purposeful touch as he followed it down from her neck along her collar bone and stopping just before it dipped into the valley of her breasts, his hand practically hovering over the intimate place of her body.
Ariel had opened her mouth a few times to say something, her hand itching to push his away from her, but there was something instinctual telling her to just stay put for the moment – to allow this to play out. Perhaps it was her curiosity or the ghostly tranced look in his gaze that compelled her to stay still for the time being – it certainly didn't feel like the threatening gesture from last time he had been this close in this very spot.
Eventually he broke the spell that seemed to surround them, a sharp clarity lighting up behind the dim color of his eyes. "That will leave a nasty scar…" he said so softly at first she wasn't even sure she had heard him. "Ariel, I –" his eyes narrowed as he pulled back and finished off his third glass of rum "my apologies for marring such flawless beauty." He finished quietly before turning from her and standing, setting his empty glass on the desks edge. She watched as he ran his hand through his already messy black hair before pulling it down his face and then making his way over to the bed, toeing off his boots and pulling his shirt over his head.
Her reply caught in her throat for a moment, his actions catching her off guard. Had he truly just apologized, even if in a roundabout kind of way? Of all the things she had pictured to happen tonight after he returned to the room, which certainly didn't even cross her mind as being a plausible option. She didn't reply until long after he had turned down the gas lamps and capped the few candles that had been lit and pulled the curtains closed, when he had already fully undressed and the rustling of the sheets of his bed could be heard.
"Accepted." She said gently into the darkness of the room as her hand reached up and ghosted over the wound he had traced. She wasn't sure why she had accepted but there was something so pained in his expression and he had seemed so sincere, even if he didn't outright apologize for his behavior or anger, or for having hurt her, he had still apologized and she figured she was correct in surmising that it wasn't something he made a habit of - if he ever did at all.
She didn't get a reply from him until she had already settled into her makeshift bed for the night, pulling the blanket she had folded up and left there from the earlier morning after having found it mysteriously on her person.
"Rest well darling." she heard him murmur, telling her that he had been close enough to sleep but not so much to have not heard her accept his apology.
Despite what he had said she didn't rest well at all that night, peaking through a crack in the curtain out to the calming ocean as her thoughts kept spinning around haphazardly in her mind making her restless.
Tomorrow would be another day to try and sort all this out.
A/N: Sooo the beautiful thing about having an idea and writing is that sometimes the writing takes you on a path you weren't quite expecting. This chapter was roughly planned out and yet turned into something completely different than any of my notes and I actually like the surprise development. You have to follow the writings heart sometimes. Thankfully it still follows the rough outline I have set out for the story.
So I am now toying with John/Ariel as a bit of a wrench in this story plot – who knows where that's going to go (if at all). I also wasn't banking on Killian apologizing at all for his actions but it just sort of went that way. At least you all got to briefly see a bit of a softer side of him (for now, don't' get too used to it yet dun dun dun there is still some trouble left for our lovely duo).
I also want to give a quick shout out to x. faith .x23 for all her many wonderful reviews! As well as gamergirllive, heavenlykitten, kcrane, ravengril07 and birlkiucdort. Some of you have been with me from the beginning and I am glad we are enjoying this adventure/development together 3
Also to peex, for saying this is one of the best fan fictions they have ever read. Nothing is more flattering, thank you!
Playlist (dedicated to A Final Midnight): Florence and the Machine – Howl / Cassadee Pope – Wasting All These Tears / Silversun Pickups – Ribbons and Detours / Lana Del Rey – Dark Paradise /Rachel Rabin – Raise the Dead