Disclaimer: I do not own Castle
Chapter 7
"Kate?"
That voice. That sweet voice. She'd never forget it.
"Katie, wake up baby"
Mom.
"Mom? Is that you" she asked.
She opened her eyes and that sea of darkness threatened to eat her whole. She wanted to close her eyes again.
"Yes honey, it's me"
"Am I in heaven?"
"No silly"
"what? Then where am I?"
"That doesn't matter"
"I should be in hell."
"the only place you should be, is at home. With your husband and children"
"mom, I made a huge mistake"
"wake up baby"
"mom… I can't... I don't want to…"
and even before she could protest, she felt like she was being pulled out of the darkness, something loud was screeching in her ear, and suddenly, opening her eye's seemed really difficult. But she tried nevertheless.
It was blurry at first, but then it turned clear. And then she took a deep breath. The room she was in was sterile. But there was no smell of blood now. But what was that scent, that very homely scent. With a little effort, she turned a bit to look beside her and she saw Alexis there fast asleep in a chair.
She tried to move her hand towards her a bit... and she lightly touched her daughter's hand.
Alexis woke up with a start
"Mom?"
Suddenly Kate began to pull at the tube attached to her wrist.
"Mom, what are you doing?"
Alexis began calling out to a nurse.
"Don't…" Kate struggled to speak.
"Mom stop! What are you doing! you'll hurt yourself!" a nurse rushed in and tried to put the tube back in its place.
"Mrs. Castle, you have to relax."
A tear rolled down her cheek and Alexis wiped at it. "Mom, you're okay... you're gonna be alright."
The nurse then helped her sit up and gave her a glass of water to sip from, to clear her dry throat. She felt weak. And empty.
Empty.
Her hand automatically went to her tummy. Her flat abdomen. And she closed her eyes as more tears began to fall.
She felt Alexis' hand on hers.
"Mom, open your eyes,"
she sounded so worried.
"what's wrong…?"
"I killed her"
"what!? No! Mom!"
She finally opened her eyes and looked at the teen.
"Mom, she's right there." Alexis pointed out to the baby incubator at the other end of the room.
Kate looked over to where Alexis pointed out, and utter confusion took over her. Just then Avril entered the room.
"MOM! You're awake" she ran to her mom's side and kissed her cheek.
Kate still couldn't process anything. Her head ached and she was getting dizzy.
"What? My baby…?"
"she's alright... they had to deliver her prematurely. Oh my god, mom, she's so tiny and so beautiful… you have to see her"
Avril blabbered. But Kate stared endlessly at the incubator. She couldn't see inside from where she was. She couldn't believe her ears either.
Her baby was alive. Her little girl was breathing. She may have been taken out of her womb a little early, but at least now she was safe.
And Kate closed her eyes and an after-thought haunted her conscious mind. At least now she was safe, the little one wasn't in this monstrous body any longer.
A body that couldn't keep her safe, that put her life at danger and almost killed her.
She had almost killed her own baby.
"Mom, why are you still crying?" Avril asked. And Alexis took her mother's hand in hers.
She shook her head and said "I can't... I'm a horrible mother Avril."
Both Alexis and Avril looked at her in confusion.
"No mom! Why are you saying that?"
Then a sudden thought took over her mind and she said "Rick! Where is he?!"
and panic filled her again. And the images of her husband, as life drained out of him on that road, began to cloud her mind.
She was getting hysterical.
"Mom, calm down, Dad's in the ICU. He's going to be okay. They saved him. Calm down, please..."
And the dizziness over took her as she fell asleep again.
They were finally allowed to go see their father.
Alexis kissed him on the forehead.
"Wake up soon dad. We miss you" she ran a hand through his hair and said.
"Mom needs you. She's finding it really hard doing this alone. And I'm sure you need her too..."
"She thought she killed her baby, she was so scared. You saved her dad, now you need to wake up and see the lives you've saved..."
she paused for a while then. Just sitting and staring at his face. She lightly traced his cheek then and said "I wasn't surprised you took that bullet for her. You would have done it for me or Avril too, I'm sure. Just, next time, when you're pushing someone out of the way of a bullet, fall with them please."
She paused again and looked around, at the monitors and the wires and tubes, and the entire room. And then she smiled and said
"she's beautiful you know, she's got just the right mix of both your looks. And she's so tiny and fragile right now. I mean even after three months, I'd be afraid to hold her. She sleeps all day, but she's the prettiest little angel there is. Wake up soon dad. She wants to see you. We all do"
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