Chapter 4: Lies, Regret, forgiveness

Warning: Abuse! If that bothers you or is a trigger, you have been warned. (Hope I don't lose some of you for this. Its all part of a bigger plan. Stay with me.)

ALSO: It has also come to my attention that some of you haven't read the summary. I would like to warn you now, that G!P means girl penis. Sorry If I wasn't clear enough by stating she was a 'half a girl' and that you may have not noticed G!P Annain the first line of my summary. Also if there is confusion as to why Elsa still calls her a girl, and Anna says she is a girl. Its because she looks exactly like a girl. And she feels it in her heart. Yes her hair is short, but it wasn't her choice and she is growing it out. (Its been mentioned a few times..) Sorry for the confusion and if you're still sticking to the story thank you. If not, im sorry that the story isn't for you.

Lets do this..

Elsa stiffened with the crop held high above her head. "I'm sorry." She gave her mother a pleading look. "This can't be right Mother."

Mrs. Roe moved to stand behind Elsa. Leaning in close to whisper in her daughters ear. "It's perfectly right. People do this all the time. It's a pet, a pet that needs to learn. Aurora does the same and her flier listens just fine."

"But-"

Mrs. Roe grabbed Elsa's face, thumb and fingers digging into her cheeks forcing Elsa to look at Anna. "No. Look at her. She won't listen until you show her. Be a good girl. You're my good girl right?" Her mother's voice was soft, and sweet. Sweeter than Elsa could ever remember it and she wanted to her it more. Like a poison her mother's words seeped into her.

Elsa looked at Anna and what her mother said made sense. Anna would probably never listen. And Elsa so desperately wanted to make her mother proud.

She wanted to be good for her mother, wanted her to love her like she used to. Mother always blamed her for her father's death. Always hated her for it. Elsa knew it, and she wanted nothing more to shine in her mother's eyes again.

"Your flier will love you all the more Elsa. Just like you love me. All the times I hit you, it was me teaching you. And you listen just fine from time to time. You're simply showing it who's boss. A few little hits. That's all."

Elsa nodded and Anna whimpered her eyes not believing what she was seeing. The fear in Elsa's eyes dimmed until all fear was masked by determination.

Anna held her arms out in one last desperate attempt to change Elsa's mind. She even crouched lower, trying to look smaller and submissive. The animal side to her hoped it would work. "Elsa please. Don't do this. I'll listen from now on. Promise."

Her words and actions did nothing and Elsa raised the crop once more, but this time she brought it down without hesitation.

Elsa shut her eyes at the cry Anna let loose. She wiped a stray tear with the back of her hand. It's for her good, mother said so.

"Hit her again Elsa. Don't stop until I tell you."

And Elsa did. Again and again, while her mother watched with a sick grin on her face. Elsa cried all through it. If this was the right thing to do, why did it feel so wrong? Why did it hurt to watch Anna cry for mercy after each hit? Why did earning her mother's approval make her sick and not bring her joy like she fantasized about?

I'm sorry Anna, so sorry. Please forgive me.

xXxXxX

"You may stop Elsa." Mrs. Roe commanded quietly after what felt like the longest eight minutes of Elsa's short life. The blonde girl tossed the crop to the ground as if it burned sight of the small spatter of blood on the tip made her retch.

She doubled over, the guilt and regret threatening to overwhelm her. The sight of Anna cowering beneath her good wing didn't help her conscious at all. Her mother tsked at the sight of the two girls. One whimpering on the ground, the other losing her lunch onto the grass.

"You have failed me Elsa. You hesitated to follow, and even questioned my order, you cried during the beating, and now you grow sick after the beating. A failure yet again. I hope you realize your mistakes. The both of you." Her mother lifted the crop and twirled the end around her finger, whistling a tune as she walked away. Not even telling Elsa she did a good job.

xXxXx

Anna felt a soft hand brush her wing to the side, and she flinched away. After a moment the hand returned and placed a wet rag to the medium sized cut on her shoulder. Anna grunted and jerked away, curling up into a tighter ball.

"Leave me alone." Anna's voice sounded foreign to her, the anger that laced her words, it was strange to hear.

"Anna please, forgive me. I didn't mean it." Elsa's bottom lip trembled and her vision blurred from tears. She reached yet again for Anna, but she found her world dipping and spinning. Once the vertigo wore off, she found herself staring up into Anna's eyes. They were full of hurt, betrayal and something she couldn't place.

"If you didn't mean it?" Anna yelled angry confusion on her face. "Why did you do it Elsa? Huh? Tell me. I want to know.." She held Elsa's wrists in her hands, keeping her in place.

"Anna I swear I thought I was doing something right. I just.. I just wanted mother to look at me. Really look at me and say I did great. Just once! But she lied to me, and I hurt you. I know there isn't a thing I can do or even say to make up for this. But forgive me. Please!" Elsa pleaded quietly, hoping Anna would understand. Praying to someone, anyone who would listen that she would forgive her.

Anna hung her head, sighing loudly, "In what way Elsa… would it ever be right to hit anyone? Where does your head tell you that its alright?" She looked at Elsa, her tears falling freely now. Anna understood slightly what Elsa was talking about, and she wished with all her being that she didn't understand so she could hate Elsa.

Being called a failure all the time, being beat for doing something 'wrong.' Anna knew that feeling, and Anna herself, would have done anything for Doctor Stone to tell her she wasn't a failure. For him to pat her on the head, and maybe even hug her. Anything to see him proud. No matter how many times Lovdahl said she wasn't a failure, she still felt like one. If her creator couldn't accept her, then who would?

Elsa must have felt the same way with her mother. Wanting acceptance from the one you looked up to. No matter how bad they were.

But it wasn't an excuse for what she did. Anna rolled off Elsa, bringing her knees up to her chest. "It didn't hurt." She whispered so quietly, Elsa didn't catch what she said.

"What?"

"It didn't hurt. You hitting me. You just scared me. It mostly just tickled my skin. But I cried because I couldn't believe you would do that. But what do I know, I only met you yesterday." Anna admitted quietly, hiding her face behind her arms.

Elsa clasped her hands, wringing them together. "It just tickled, it didn't even hurt?" If that didn't hurt Anna then her broken wing causing her pain really had to be up there in the pain levels.

Anna nodded into her arms. "Yup. It never hurt when they hit me. It always tickled. I used to laugh when they first tried to beat me, or do pain tests. I cry because of what they hit me with, or the look in their eyes. It always scared me. I cry in fear. I cry because I couldn't understand why. Not because it hurts."

Elsa wondered how strong Anna was to not feel the pain, "But you are bleeding. You can't feel that? It doesn't sting at all?" Elsa touched the cut and Anna shivered, her cool touch was strange to her hot skin.

"It doesn't outside. Things on the outside don't hurt. It's the insides that do." Anna shrugged Elsa off and stood in one fluid motion. She held her hand out. "It doesn't matter anymore. I learned my lesson. You should probably bathe Miss Roe." Elsa flinched at the formal tone Anna gave her, and the use of her last name. Anna sounded like any other butler or maid in her home.

She accepted Anna's hand and walked to the mansion, and Anna followed with her head bowed.

XxXxX

It had been one week so far since the incident and Anna hadn't changed her attitude at all. Elsa was ready to tear her hair out. She thought after Anna opened up a little to her, it meant forgiveness. She was so very wrong, and the formal tone was just the beginning.

Her mother was right about one thing though, Anna was listening just fine now. But she wasn't the same as the first day. Anna didn't complain when she was cold, didn't whine about when she was hungry. She would just sit and wait for Elsa to finish her work, or a lesson.

She didn't slide down the halls, even when Elsa tried to coax her. Anna had simply repeated what Elsa told her the first time.

"It isn't proper Miss Roe. We have to walk."

Elsa was losing her mind, and she didn't know how to fix things. Elsa did everything, she got Anna new clothes and even tried to let her pick what she wanted out off the laptop. Anna shrugged and told her it was her choice, since she was the master.

Elsa got Anna a book with only pictures. Anna told her thank you and never opened the book.

Elsa got her, her own little bed in the room. Anna continued to curl up in her own nest of pillows on the ground.

Elsa had decided there was only one thing left. The beach. Perhaps that would cheer her up. Anything to see Anna smile again. Elsa wanted to do anything to get Anna to forgive her.

Elsa took Anna down the path that led to the beach from her home. Anna as usual followed with her head bowed. "Alright Anna. Look! It's the beach! I promised to bring you back. Here we are."

Anna barely even looked at the ocean, she merely stared at Elsa. Her teal eyes dull and there wasn't even the spark of wonder like when she first saw it. It tore Elsa to pieces to see it. She was the cause for this, and she would probably never have Anna's forgiveness.

"Thank you for keeping your promise Miss Roe. It's.. beautiful." That was it. Those dead words broke her. Elsa cried right then and there. And Anna did nothing but wait for her to finish.

That was two days ago and today was a new day. Elsa was doing her best to hurry through her lesson. Her tutor for today was a thin man known as Mr. Thatch. He was too slow for her liking today. Her mother had Anna tied to a tree outside so Anna could 'get some fresh air.' As her mother put it.

Elsa wasn't going to fight her mother over it, so she agreed and had a maid take Anna outside. Of course Anna didn't complain or even speak. That was four hours ago, and Elsa was sure Anna was hungry, or thirsty. She scribbled down the last of her notes for her upcoming geography test.

"Mr. Thatch, how do you get forgiveness for doing something terrible to someone?" She asked, fingers tapping the desk.

Mr. Thatch smiled looking up from his notebook, "Have you tried saying sorry?"

Elsa stared at him and he chuckled, "Alright, alright. I'm guessing you already have. Well have you explained what you did wrong? Why you did what you did?"

Elsa nodded her head vigorously. "I did."

Mr. Thatch smiled again, "Then it just needs time. Give them time to forgive you. Try earning some trust back. Show them that you have changed and wont do whatever you have done again. If you keep telling them sorry straight out, it might just rub salt in the wound."

Elsa pondered what he said and thanked him. Afterwards she left and went to the kitchen. She convinced Cookie to give her a pitcher of water, and to place it on a tray. She added all sorts of snacks and sweets to it.

She struggled to carry the slightly heavy tray down the hall. It was almost comical to see her straining to carry the tray.

I need to use my arms more often. This is just sad, I can hardly carry this tray.

The most work Elsa ever had to do was write and do her easy stretches. A passing maid turned pale at the sight of her Lady's daughter carrying a tray. She hurried over and tried to stop her.

"Oh my! Miss Roe let me take that for you. You don't need to carry such things." Elsa glared her down gripping the tray tightly.

"I can do this myself. You may go." The maid opened her mouth, probably to protest again, but Elsa wouldn't hear it. "I said you MAY GO!" Her voice echoed down the hall, later she would probably regret yelling at the girl for doing her job, and the maid scurried off without another glance. With a huff Elsa continued on down the hall. Cursing the fact that the kitchen was so far from the garden.

After nearly dropping the tray twice Elsa finally stood beside the large tree Anna was tied to. Anna lazily lay on her belly up in the tree, playing with a leaf.

"Anna. I brought you some water, and a snack." Elsa smiled up at Anna in the tree, holding the tray a little higher. Her arms shook from the effort but she refused to drop it.

Anna rolled off the tree and landed with a thud on her feet. Then she took the tray gently from Elsa, and muttered a thank you. Anna stared at the water and all the little foods Elsa brought her. It looked good, but instead of eating it she put the tray down.

Elsa didn't know what she expected, but she didn't expect Anna to climb back up the tree again. She didn't even touch her food, or the water. A rational side of Elsa told her, that maybe Anna wasn't hungry or thirsty. The irrational side wanted to throw a fit and kick the tray. Instead she asked politely, "Would you like to come inside after your snack?"

Anna nodded but she didn't move from the tree and Elsa waited.

xXxXxX

Elsa cried quietly in her bed, it had been two weeks now and she barely made any progress. She was ready to give up and just let Anna go. Where would she go? Elsa didn't know, but probably someplace better. She couldn't stand the dull look in Anna's eyes.

She wished with all her being that she could go back and be strong enough to tell her mother no. "Someplace better than being here with me. I'm evil, just as evil as my mother. I beat a poor girl. All for a pat on the back from my mother."

Which you never received…

Elsa jerked when she felt a finger brush a tear away. She stared up at Anna's teal eyes, full of doubt.

"Do you promise?" Anna sounded a bit fearful, like she wasn't completely sure she could trust Elsa again. And Elsa wasn't sure if Anna should try to even trust her again. She was sure there was a part of Anna that never would fully trust her. But she would take what she got.

The blonde sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "Yes. I promise, a million times over. I promise you. I won't do anything like that again."

Anna smiled brightly for the first time in two weeks. "Hold me. It's cold."

And so Elsa did.

AN: Wow that hurt myself to write a mean Elsa. (And I totally didn't rewrite this chapter four times trying to figure this out.) Especially a mean Elsa to Anna. Sorry to N2Horizon I know I said I would introduce a friendly character. (technically I did, but I meant a more important one) If I tried to introduce the character in this chapter it would make this chapter feel cramped. And lose the feels. (In my opinion anyway.) So I had to cut it out and put it in the next chapter. On a good note, the next chapter 75% complete. I'll have it posted later today. But first. I sleep!

And to the Guest, the whole world is all made up from my head. Unless someone has used mind tricks to give this idea. :O

Cough*Chapter five will contain some fluff... AND a new character. Promise.*Cough

Review, say hello. Anything.