AN: Hi guys, I'm sorry I took this long to update. I got a new job and it's been keeping me busy. well, I managed to get a few more chapters done, so I hope you enjoy. Would love to hear from you guys. :) So don't forget to leave me a review.

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle

Chapter 11

The nurses had informed Kate that for a few more weeks, her little girl would have to be fed intravenously. i.e. through her veins because she was still too young to be able to consume milk from her mother's breast. For a baby this young, it is difficult for her to co ordinate sucking, breathing and swallowing all at the same time.

And the doctors also suggested that she be kept in the incubator for most of the time that she was sleeping. The incubator had a temperature adjusted for the baby's needs so that her body doesn't burn calories in keeping warm, saving her energy to help her stay strong.

Within two more weeks, the doctors had said she was progressing beautifully, and she didn't have to be kept in the incubator any longer.

It was now 3 weeks since the incident, and all three of them had been doing great.
Castle had arranged for Kate's bed to be brought into the same room as his. He didn't want them to be so far apart.

She had started breast feeding their baby girl too, and everything seemed to be getting better day by day.

"How's my little Kaylee doing today?" Lanie asked when she entered the room, and Kate and Rick both looked up from playing with their baby at her with huge smiles.

"Lanie, hey!"

She came and sat with them and took little baby Kaylee in her arms.

"Oh she's so pretty, I can't get over her"

"At least you're not threatening to eat her up" Rick joked. "There's one nurse here who's a little too fond of her"

Lanie and Kate both laughed.

"So, where are the girls?"

"They're gone off to buy some stuff, we're going home tomorrow" Kate said with a gleam in her eyes.

Lanie's eyes widened "really?" she said excitedly "That's great!"

She then spoke only to Kaylee and said "You're finally going to see your home baby... aren't you excited?"

And Kaylee made a tiny sound. They laughed at her innocence. She was so oblivious to the way she affected everyone around her. She had no clue about her humongous family, including an M.E. and two detectives who worked with her mother. Little Kaylee was still new to everything. But she seemed to be learning fast.

She would only sleep in the arms of her mother. Not even Castle had managed to ever put her to sleep. She was partial to her elder sisters at times. Sometimes she would sit silently with Alexis, but sometimes she'd wail and cry until Avril or someone else carried her. Kaylee was growing well; they could already see major differences in her now compared to what she looked like when they first saw her. Her weight had increased too and the doctors said everything was looking up.

And as Kate though about the idea of finally going home with her family tomorrow, she couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort and joy. Everything was going to be okay.

4 months later.

It was almost dinner time, and Rick was still at the doctors. She wondered if everything was okay. The girls were in the living room. Alexis was reading a novel, while Avril was sprawled on the couch reading a book. She thought about their conversation earlier that day.

She was standing before her vanity mirror, wearing only her bra and underwear; she had just gotten out of the shower and needed to take a look at something. As she stood there, studying the scars that the stitches had left behind on her body, she felt disgusted by them. Although they reminded her of the miracle named Kaylee that it brought into their lives, she still hated herself every time she saw those scars. Those scars wouldn't have been there if she'd been more careful, if she'd taken care. Cause then she would have given birth naturally to their little baby girl.

She wondered then, as she touched the scars, if she would have another chance to give birth… naturally…

Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt Castle's arm come around her and his chin rest upon her shoulder.

He must have just woken up, how had she not seen him get off the bed and come to her. She smiled at him and he kissed her cheek softly

"What are you doing?"

"These scars..." she paused "will they ever disappear?"

She asked softly, and he looked at her scars in the mirror, his hands reached out to softly move his fingers over them.

"Why are they worrying you?"

"They're reminding me of things I don't want to be reminded of" she admitted.

He turned her around in his arms so that she was facing him, and he said "those scars should only remind you of Kaylee. Nothing else. Cause all of that is in the past now Kate. The only part of it that moves with us is Kaylee. She's our future"

She smiled at him. He always knew what to say to make her feel better.

"Don't let those scars make you see yourself as anything less than extraordinary. They're a part of you because Kaylee is a part of you."

She kissed him and whispered a soft 'thank you' at his lips. His arms wrapped tight around her and pulled her in for a hotter, more passionate kiss. And Kate really didn't mind. It was exactly what she needed.

But when Ricks hand began to move lower down her back, and he began to pull her tighter against him, she knew she had to stop him, and that was the hardest part.

One of his hands had reached up over her breast, and she had to slowly push it away. She broke the kiss, as hypnotising as it was, and put her forehead to his, they were both breathing hard from the effect of a strong expression of love, but she spoke nevertheless.
She didn't want to see the look of disappointment in his eyes again this time, so she kept her eyes closed when she spoke.

"Rick, stop"

"come on Kate, it's been so long."

"no… we can't. Nott until we're sure you can take it"

"I feel alright Kate really…"

"I won't take the risk" she opened her eyes then and looked into his blue eyes, they were really disappointed.

She kissed the corner of his mouth and said "If we went ahead and if you were to have any kind of pain, I'd hate myself for it. I already hate myself enough because I'm the reason you have a bullet wound and stitches on your torso to heal from."

"No Kate..please don't.." she kissed him to shut him up and then said.

"when the doctor gives you the all clear, I promise you, I will do anything you want me to do"

He nodded now. "I have an appointment with him today. But I don't think I'll get an all clear from him so soon" he sounded a little hopeful, but mostly not.

"I'm sorry honey… but until then, this will have to suffice" and she leaned in again and kissed him with all of her love. And he kissed her back with equal fervour.

Kate was brought out of her her little flashback when she heard the door open. She quickly served the last plate of food and placed it on the dining table, wiped her hands on a napkin and went to find her husband.

"I got great news" he said excitedly.

Avril switched the TV off and sat up, Alexis kept her book down too. Castle walked over to the other side of the room, so that he could face all three of them when he spoke.

"what is it?" Kate asked. She couldn't understand what the doctor could have possibly said that had him so excited.

"you look really hyped Dad, did he give you some weird drug" Avril joked and Alexis laughed.

"Nope! I'm not drugged"

"then what is it? Come on tell us already" Alexis said, getting impatient.

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