"You're going to blow away in this windstorm storm if you don't come back inside." Her quiet voice startled him.
The inn at the coast was small, with a patio area the rested over the water. It was there that Balthier stood at daybreak while the rest of the party waited inside for the weather to clear. Well, the rest except for Ashe.
"I just wanted fresh air… I'll not be long." He turned and gave her a small, forced smile before looking back toward the coastline.
"Whatever you say." Ashe made no move to go back inside, instead stepping closer to him.
Thoughts of his father, his past, swarmed his mind. He had told Ashe of his past only a few hours earlier, and it would seem that pulled forth memories he had been suppressing. The bare minimum left his mouth, but the rest whispered in his mind. It had kept him from sleeping that night, dreams haunted by the day he left for once and all.
"You have shamed your family named. You're worthless, boy. Do you think your father will accept you back now that you've gone and left the judges in the most unceremonious fashion? Not to mention the Empire will want your head… In fact, I suppose I could take you in now and get the reward myself…"
"There is more I should…" Balthier stopped abruptly, tugging on his sleeve to block more of the cold air. His eyes scanned the water, not daring to look into his companion's face.
A small hand covered his own. "Go on." He could feel Ashe's stare on his face, watching his expression.
"I…When I left the judges, I was only seventeen." Ashe's intake of breath told him she was startled to learn this. "I had been given a task…"
"A judges work is never done." Ashe's tone was dry, bitter.
He took a deep breath, preparing for what he had to say next. "I refused to kill a man who I was certain was innocent, and I allowed him to escape. My mentor, a man I looked up to as a father figure, called me worthless, told me I would never be welcomed back into the Bunansa family… he told me he would turn me into the judge's custody and they would kill me… I panicked when he drew his sword and I… I killed him while defending myself. I had planned on running away already but that…"
Her hand squeezed his tightly. "You did what you must…" He dared a look at her face and found only sympathy. It would seem she at least did not find him a monster as he feared more than anything.
"Five years…. I have lived with that for five years, bottling it up inside…"He clenched the railing of the patio, the wind pushing his sleeves back up.
"You never told Fran?" Ashe's eyes grew wide. She had thought…
"She only knows I come from a wealthy house in Arcades… I believe she knows who my father is now…"
"So…" Ashe started, "So I'm the only one you've trusted with this?"
"Yes…" He locked eyes with her, that same look on his face he had given her on the coast
"Why?"
Silence beat with the waves. The wind seemed to pause as if it too wanted to know why he had kept it festering inside him for so long.
"I feared…I feared being seen as a monster. I've done some terrible things in my life and you all know that. But to kill a man…" He couldn't say what he wished to.
His eyes dropped to look at the floor, face turned aside, but he felt a soft hand guiding his head back to look her in the eye.
"I have killed as well, have slain others…Mine was from self-defense. Yours," He closed his eyes, fearing her words. "Was to save yourself. I cannot fault you for that, and anyone who would has never known the fear of death." She pulled him into a loose hug, fearing anything else would overstep bounds.
The hugs lasted longer than either expected. He was releasing his fear, his regret, and replacing it with the feeling of acceptance. She… she knew how hard it had to be for him to share that.
"Ashe…" He started as they broke apart. "I told you be-"
"Balthier! Ashe!" Vaan's voice rang out from the doorway. "There you two are! Basch says we can head out now that the wind has… Um… Did I interrupt something?"
Balthier's smirk fell onto his face easily. "No, the princess and I were simply discussing our childhoods. It is not anything we cannot continue later. We will be right in."
"Okay! Now I have to go get Penelo. See you soon!" The boy bounded past the door.
He turned back to Ashe smiled. "Vaan always seems to interrupt at the worst moments."
"He does."
They stood for a few moments, then Balthier spoke. "We had best get going… Thank you, Ashe."
"Anytime you want to talk I-"
"I know."