She is but a young girl with innocence in her eyes, confusion shown clearly at the chaos around her. Her father is crying, and she does not understand. Her hand clasped tightly in her brother's, she can't understand why momma won't wake up, why momma had to leave their tea party early. She is only three when her brothers tell her their mother isn't coming back, that she's gone to walk amongst the gods. Ashe doesn't know what death is, but she knows her mother left her.
She is seven, and already the years have shown her loss. Of her eight elder brothers, only three remain. The rest grew ill or died while fighting. Her hands are clenched in fists at her sides wondering why it is the world has taken so many people she loves. Her father begins to teach her lessons in politics, as a fear settles over him that he may lose his other sons. Ashe doesn't realize why she's learning these things, but she knows the world is cruel.
She is ten, and she cannot understand why the gods seem to hate her. Her best friend of her childhood, a young servant girl, was gripped by the illness plaguing the country. Her hand wipe away tears that trickle down her face as she places a flower over her friend's grave. She knows death is final, but still pleads for her friend's life. Ashe doesn't make a friend again, protecting her heart from the risk of losing someone again.
She is thirteen, and now the only child her father has left. Her last brother was poisoned, taken along with his wife. Her hands are working clumsily at stiches, the news having frozen her bones. She is to be the heir now, and suddenly those lessons her father began make sense. Ashe doesn't cry at the funeral, instead she builds a wall around her heart to hide from the cruelties of life.
She is seventeen, and she is alone. Her beloved husband fallen in war, her father betrayed when they had hoped to make peace. Her hands run themselves across her wedding band idly, still unable to believe the news. She who would be queen is forced to flee to keep her fate from joining those of all the ones she held dear. Ashe doesn't remain Ashe, and the barrier around her heart is toughened to steel.
She is nineteen, and she is fire. Her veins are filled with desire to take back what is hers. Her hands are clutched to a sword, grip tightening as she is surrounded by those who would see her fate match her fathers. She refuses to meet that end, swinging the blade with ferocity and a strength she did not know she held. Ashe doesn't back down, and fights the fates, fights for revenge.
She is twenty, and she is at peace. Her need for revenge on the fates has settled, and she has her recent companions to thank for it. Her hands hold the band she gave in exchange for the promise of help from a skypirate and his ship, memories of the time spent restoring her to her throne flashing through her mind. She is without the desire for revenge, her friends having brought about a new reason to live for. Ashe is queen now, and knows that whatever the world throws at her, she no longer has to face it alone.