Disclaimer: 18 and over only due to foul language

First off, sorry for dropping the blogging ball! It's been almost a month since my last post and I've been asked almost daily why I haven't written a new post recently. Want to know why? It's because I'm a lazy fucker at times and my son comes above all else. When I have minimal energy, the thought of writing and editing (don't laugh! I do make an effort to catch all the shitty grammar) is about as appealing as a visit to the dentist. However, I am still full of thoughts and posts. Now, with New Year's Eve weekend wrapping up, I'm back on the Mac saddle and ready to delight and horrify you all with my thoughts about stuff. The hope is to pump out a post or two a week. Feel free to yell at me when I slack. Accountability is an awesome motivator! If it contains creative cuss words? Even better.

So …

Facebook has really changed the way we all experience holidays. Over the past 8 or so years, we have gone from a society of people visiting one another to see wonderfully decorated houses, calling to hear what Santa left under the tree, and cuddling in corners to gossip over who cheated on who at the holiday party, to a bunch of internet stalkers.

Facebook has made us all snoopy little bastards.

I'm not going to lie – I love a good Facebook creep – but there are issues that arise when the holidays hit and you are forced out from behind the soft glow of your cyber gossip mill in to a room full of people you haven't seen or spoken to in years.

A few months back, I made it a point to clean out my Facebook friends list. After hearing from a credible source that my Facebook posts and statuses had become a big focus of certain individuals obsessive gossiping, I felt it was time to clear out the ol' list. Once I started, I couldn't stop! My cuts were fast and furious, comparable to a back alley Hollywood plastic surgeon. My reasons were sound – If you didn't like me, gone. If I didn't like you, gone. If you felt the need to discuss my Facebook with others to the point of suggesting I'm an unfit parent, gone. (My hometown in Australia may be little, but it has big ears and an even bigger mouth! News travels fast.) If you felt the need to use the bible to tell me why the LGBT community should rot in hell? GONE. If we hadn't spoke in 15 years and we were only friends to spy on one another? Gone. If you saw me at the grocery store and didn't even acknowledge my existence but started liking my pictures the minute I got home? Gone.

I was slashing that list like it was my purpose in life! That shit felt gooooooooooood. Everyone should re-examine who they're choosing to spend their cyber life with. The only problem? Coming face-to-face with a victim of the cull and waiting to see if there going to be any backlash.

It happened a few times this Christmas and I was supremely weirded out. It was like there was this underlying tension that no one wanted to bring up, but everyone knew what was going on (or at least in my mind it felt that way.) Slight passive aggressive mentions of "Oh, I saw such and such on Facebook," and, "So and So had to show me that picture," were muttered as we all sat around discussing life and shit. It was like my business had become public property, and by preventing their involvement in my day-to-day goings on I had some how committed the crime of the century. I mean, I totally get the sting of getting cut by someone you find interesting on Facebook. No one wants to be on the neck-out end of the chopping block, but that's just life. We aren't everyone's cup of tea, and that's just the reality of life. However, acting like a child because you can't see my kid picking his nose in the back garden is creepy. Deciding that Christmas is a good time to give me the shifty eye over a cyber issue is creepy. Christmas is a time of dirty Uncles looking at your boobs, not a time for attempting to shame someone you didn't really like in the first place.

So, to those of you I've cut from my list: Here's the deal. If you talked shit about me and then ended up cut, it's because I know. I know what you say behind closed doors about me calling my son a little asshole. Trust me, he'll survive and will most likely thrive! My relationship with you, not so much. If we haven't talked in years but you think we should? Re-add me and talk to me. We'd most likely be good friends as long as you don't mind my sense of humour. If you're gone and you have no clue why? I was probably trying to protect you from my sense of humour. It isn't everyone's idea of a good time (the comments on this blog alone tell me that I've got a pretty broad hater's club!), but if I've misjudged you, add me. Then send me jokes that will make me laugh!

This year is a year full of resolutions. I'm done living for others. No longer will I treat others with kid gloves, nor will I be the bossy bitch that others have come to identify me with. I'm living for me, for my son, and on good days, for my husband. The rest of you are welcomed to join me in this ride, but if you lose your ticket that's your problem, not mine.

Be kind, be caring, be kinky.