(After The Murder in the Middle East)

This story idea came from mendenbar.

I don't own Bones.

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The church quiet for a Tuesday morning, Booth knelt at the back of the church, praying. His faith in the church had been lacking as of late, but as far as he was concerned, he had little to lose asking for God's help in his hour of need. His prayer done, Booth stood up and turned to go when he bumped into a nun who had been standing behind him. Grabbing her arm to keep her from falling, he exclaimed, "Oh, I'm sorry Sister. I sure didn't mean to do that. Are you okay?"

Her silver laughter floating around them, Sister Mary patted his arm, "I'm alright. I'm always sneaking up on people and scaring the heck out of them. It's just that I don't want to disturb someone when they're praying so I just wait and sometimes the person I'm waiting on just turns and plows right into me. You'd think I'd learn from that, but, no, that would just be too easy now wouldn't it?"

Amused, Booth released her arm, "Yeah, I do stuff too . . . . Do I know you? I mean you look familiar."

Staring intently at Booth, Sister Mary suddenly beamed a bright smile, "Why yes you do, you were much younger then and so was I. I met you at Walter Reed when you were recovering. You were in a wheelchair in the chapel and you almost ran into me then too." Her laughter tinkling around Booth, she shook her head, "How are you? I see you don't have to use the wheelchair anymore."

A slight blush on his cheeks, Booth smiled shyly, "Well, yeah, my feet are okay so I don't need the chair but I got to tell you, Sister, sometimes I could use one when my feet are hurting me."

Pointing at the pews, Sister Mary asked, "Would you like to talk? I have time and you look you could use a little conversation right now. Am I wrong?"

His hand on the pew next to him, Booth sat down, "No you're not wrong. If you have time I could use someone to talk to. I don't really have many friends or relatives that I can talk to. My grandfather died, so there's just a brother I don't see very often, my son . . . he's in England and my wife and daughter and that's it. Well, my mother is around but . . . it's complicated." A sad laugh escaping him, Booth shook his head, "To be truthful most of my friends are my wife's friends . . . anyway, yeah, I'd like to talk to you. Thanks."

Sitting next to him, Sister Mary stared at the altar and sighed, "I know how you feel. I only have one cousin and an aunt living. That's what happens when you get old. So, what's going on?"

Suddenly nervous, Booth glanced at his hands now clasped in his lap, "I haven't been in church for a while, Sister. Some bad stuff happened and . . . I kinda lost faith in everything, God, the FBI . . . oh, that's where I work and well everyone really. I can't bring myself to trust anyone. I really try, but . . . you probably don't want to hear about this stuff. It's just . . ."

Placing her hand over his hands, the Sister frowned, "You need a friend and I'd like to be your friend. My name is Mary."

Surprised, Booth smiled sadly, "My name is Seeley but most people call me Booth."

Deciding that joking about his name wouldn't be a good idea, Mary smiled, "Hello Booth." Her smile fading, she asked, "This bad stuff that happened created a crisis of faith? It must have been pretty bad."

Grimly, Booth explained, "Yeah, I was betrayed by the people I should be able to trust that I needed to trust. It was pretty bad and I ended up in prison for four months. My wife and her co-workers managed to get me out of jail and I thought I could move on, but . . . it's not that easy. I'm suspicious of everyone. I worry about their motives and if they're dangerous or . . . . My wife has been pushing me to trust someone and I'm trying." Dreading her reaction he blurted out, "I'm a gambling addict."

A little puzzled, the nun frowned, "Are you gambling now or are you recovering?"

Ashamed, Booth cleared his throat, "I started gambling a few months ago and my wife kicked me out of the house when she found out about it. The bookie I was using threatened her when I wasn't around and . . . So right now, I'm on my own. I'm going to GA meetings and it's been tough to not go back and gamble, you know give up. I mean, no friends that I can talk about this stuff to, no family no one really. I'm alone. . . . I'm trying to convince my wife that I'm better, but well, I lied to her when she confronted me about my gambling and she doesn't trust me anymore. She really doesn't understand lying and . . . . So she doesn't trust me and I don't trust anyone at all. It's a hell of a mess, really."

Sad for her friend, Sister Mary squeezed his hands, "You're not alone, Booth. If you ever need a friend to talk to you can come here and talk to me. . . . I don't really have an answer to your problem and I wish I did. Time usually takes care of most of our problems. I think . . . I think if you keep going to your meetings and you talk to your sponsor that might help you. You know if you're honest with your wife about everything that's going on in your life, maybe she will learn to trust you again. As for you not trusting anyone, I know that can be a vicious cycle. You need to talk to the friends you have or at least one or two of them. You might be doing your friends a dis-service. If they're real friends then they can listen to you when things are bad not just when they're good. You should give them a chance. If you continue to mistrust everyone around you then I think the situation may get worse, don't you see? You have to trust someone."

Sighing, Booth looked towards the alter. "Yeah, I know. . . . I gave up gambling over ten years ago and up until a few months ago I wasn't even tempted. Things kept piling up on top of me and I was starting to smother. It's like the light was leaving my world. It's just been too much. . . My wife is pregnant and I worry that something is going to happen to her and the baby or my little girl, Christine. I couldn't protect myself so how am I supposed to protect my family? It's all messed up."

Placing her arm around his shoulders, Sister Mary hugged him and released him, "You know, a wise man once told me that if you're in danger and you can't rescue yourself then it's stupid to give up, because you have to give someone enough time to rescue you. In this case, don't you think that's still true? You're in danger, your soul is troubled and your life is not what you want it to be. You need to hold on and have faith that you're going to be rescued. True you need to help too. You need to do your part to rescue yourself but while you're doing that maybe someone will come along to help you, to rescue you. Do you understand? You can't give up because it would be stupid, right? You need to fight hard to stay alive and beat your addiction and sooner or later someone will help rescue you. . . . oh dear, I hope that made sense. I'm a good listener but I'm terrible when it comes to advice."

A smile tugging at his lips, Booth assured her, "I don't know about the wise part, but yeah it's good advice. I think I forgot that. . . . Don't tear yourself down like that Sister, you give good advice and I'm glad I talked to you. Thank you."

Relieved, Sister Mary laughed her silvery laugh and patted Booth's knee. "You're welcome."

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