This story is the joint work of Stella Malodi and CatrinaSL. The excellent cover art was commissioned from SF; you can find his work on DeviantArt (pm CatrinaSL for the link to his page). Special thanks to fringeperson and My Ashland for their beta work.

Disclaimer: We do not own Ouran High School Host Club, but we DO have a private police for- oh, no, we don't have that either. Darn.

It seemed odd to Kyōya that Mori-sempai was quiet... well, quieter than usual. His clients didn't seem to mind his request to move their entire party nearer to the windows, and the only difference that Kyōya observed was that the Wild Type's silence seemed to speak more of distraction than of reticence. Hani-sempai covered it up by being a bit brighter than usual, and none of their guests noticed, thankfully.

He wasn't planning to intervene or take any other action until Tamaki remarked, "Mori-sempai must really love kendo; he stares out the window at the practice field all through club and then leaves as soon as we finish our meetings! He's so dedicated!" The following speech about how he would take Mori-sempai's example and better himself was ignored by his friend, as was the subsequent thirty minute piano solo.

Instead, Kyōya went over to the window to see what he could see. There was Mori-sempai on the field with the rest of the kendo club, standing out from his peers, as usual, by virtue of being a foot or so taller than most of them. But there was something new to be observed from the window. Something out of place.

What could be in the branch of that tree on the hill?

He pulled out his cell phone.

"There's something in the tree between the Third Music Room's windows and the kendo practice field."

"What are your orders?"

"Retrieve it and bring it to my car. Be discreet."

"Yes, sir!"

Haruhi had finished her homework, packed her books into her bag, and was absentmindedly tapping her favorite pencil on her knee as she watched Mori-sempai. He was so tall that she could easily pick him out of the others gathered for kendo practice.

Then she wasn't in the tree anymore. Before she could register what was happening, her bag was being grabbed from the branch, where it had been sitting next to her, and her pencil went flying from her hand as she was roughly thrown over someone's shoulder.

"... Excuse me, but WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Haruhi asked of her abductors. She was ignored as the men continued to run across the grounds.

"Would someone please tell me what's going on?" They were now in one of the parking lots, headed for a sleek, black limo. Since the parking lot was filled with sleek, black limos, this meant very little, and told her nothing about who her abductors were- or, more importantly, who they worked for. They came to a halt beside one of the cars (though how they could tell which car was the correct one was beyond her), then set her on her feet and continued to ignore her as she tried to ask them why they had kidnapped her. They moved to block her path when she tried to walk away, and one of them still held her bag. She sighed and settled in to wait.

Luckily, she didn't have to wait long to discover who had orchestrated her kidnapping.

"Ōtori-sempai? What's going on?"

"Fujioka Haruhi? Hm. Interesting," he said, ignoring her question completely. The man holding her bag handed it to the boy, bowing as he did so. "You are dismissed," the young Ōtori said absently to his family's employees. They nodded sharply and marched away. He glanced through the bag before handing it back to Haruhi, ignoring her indignation. In the meantime, the driver had gotten out and opened the door for them. Ōtori-sempai stepped in. When Haruhi didn't immediately follow, he sighed.

"We're going to your house. You might as well get in on your own," he said. She glanced behind her, realized that the men were still hovering, and hastily got into the limo, trying not to trip as she did so.

"You know..." she said, "most people don't resort to kidnapping when they want to give someone a ride home. Most people just ask."

"But I didn't want to give you a ride home," he said, smirking. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Well, not you in particular, anyway. My goal was to discover what was in the tree, and to investigate it in the privacy of my own car."

"I see. May I ask what made you so curious about the tree in the first place?" she asked.

"Information is key. Without sufficient information, any plan is doomed to failure before it can even begin."

"Then why did you decide that this piece of information was worth your while?"

He stayed silent for a moment- deciding whether or not to answer her, she thought- then spoke. "It's never a good idea to show all your cards, but I suppose I owe you some explanation; consider it compensation for any inconvenience I may have caused you," he paused, straightened his tie, cleared his throat, and continued. "You've been distracting Morinozuka-sempai. He's moved his couch closer to the window so that he can look outside. Most believe that he's watching kendo practice and take his distraction as a sign of his dedication, but you and I know better, don't we?"

She looked confused. She said, "I don't understand," but the words weren't necessary. He laughed.

"Was there a point to this conversation?" she asked, annoyed, now, that he was laughing at her. His gaze turned calculating and he looked her up and down.

"Everyone at school is convinced you're a boy, and you've done nothing to dispel the rumors."

"I don't really care about that sort of thing," she said. "I don't think it matters if a person is a boy or a girl."

"That's not the point. The point is that people love a mystery," he said as he looked away from her, out the window. "If you'd like, I can furnish you with a uniform in exchange for your help in the Host Club. You could make tea, serve cake, that sort of thing, with the added bonus of distracting Mori-sempai from a rather closer location."

Haruhi frowned, choosing to ignore the comment about her 'distracting' Mori-sempai. "But the reason I sit in that tree is to get some quiet, so I can study," she protested.

"It would only be during club hours," he assured her smoothly. "You could study while watching M-," he paused to clear his throat again, "I mean... while Mori-sempai practices kendo."

"I... suppose that wouldn't be so bad," Haruhi responded.

Ōtori-sempai smiled. A lesser person than Haruhi would have been scared. As it was, she was still a little worried.

"Good! Then we have an agreement?"

"An agreement?"

He sighed, looking like he was being forced to explain something to someone very slow.

"You will be doing small jobs for the Host Club; I will be providing you with a uniform. I'll also be arranging for you to get new contacts and and a proper haircut."

"Sempai, I can-" he gave her a look and she cut herself off. "I'm not going to regret letting you buy all these things, am I?"

"I'm not going to hold it over you, if that's what you mean. You'll be paying me back by doing those little tasks I mentioned earlier. Perhaps we'll also have you play at being a Host a time or two. You never know, you might even like it." He smiled again and she shivered.

Ōtori-sempai's phone rang, and he seemed surprised when he looked at the caller ID. "Yes, Mori-sempai?"

Haruhi could hear her friend clearly. "Kyōya. I need your help. Fujioka Haruhi is missing."

Ōtori-sempai handed the phone to Haruhi. "It's for you. Mori-sempai was worried," he said with a smirk.

"Mori-sempai?"

"...Haruhi?"

"I'm all right. Sorry for worrying you."

"You left your pencil. You were kidnapped."

"Well, yes, but it was just Ōtori-sempai. I'm not hurt. Would it make you feel better to come to my house?"

"Yes."

"And... Could you bring my pencil with you?"

He hung up.

The door of the limo opened and she blinked out into the sun. When her eyes adjusted, she saw Ōtori-sempai holding out his hand to help her out of the car. "Well, Fujioka-kun," he said as she climbed out, "I certainly hope you won't regret joining the Host Club, but if you do, it won't be because of me."

"I know. It'll be because of Suō-sempai."

He laughed. "We have a deal?"

"We have a deal," she confirmed. He chuckled again and stepped into the limo.

"Be ready by 8 AM," he called, just as the door closed.

"Ready for what?" she asked, then yelled, "READY FOR WHAT?"

Haruhi stood there, feeling decidedly apprehensive, and watched the limo pull away. She was sure somehow that Ōtori-sempai was still laughing inside, but she didn't know what she'd said that was so funny.

Authors' Note: This chapter is dedicated to all of our followers! And don't worry, we're already working on our next project! In the meantime, if you have an idea that needs words, you can request it at iwillwriteyourfic DOT blotspot DOT com! Until next week!