Ch 12
…
After a little more small talk, the drinks had warmed their bodies and spirits enough that Ryou took up his journal and continued to fill in the outlines. He was glad they had agreed not to share the harsher details at that time. It made it more bearable to get through. He turned to a fresh page and drew out what he remembered of the upstairs. This was vaguer since he hadn't seen it the way he had seen the lower floor, and his nightmare had affected his memory of it. But he remembered the room with the bed and that mucky rat, though he decided to leave the critter out of his description.
With the basic layout before them, Joey and Serenity put more vision to the story they'd been told by Yugi and to the new perspective they were hearing now.
Ryou described the hopelessness, rather than the exact anguish he felt as he'd been dragged to the basement, and the stark relief that came when Bakura mercifully took over his body.
He paused after that, a little lost in the memory. "That's all I know about it. I remained in my soul room until just before you gents came to see me the first time."
There was silence as they all took it in.
"What's a soul room?" Serenity asked carefully.
"Oh," Ryou blinked and turned to her. "It's a sort of mental space provided by the Millennium Item's magic. It's where my consciousness goes whenever Bakura takes over my body."
"Oh I see." She turned to Joey, "Does that happen to Yugi then, too?"
"Dat's what I'm told," he said. "But I don't pretend to understand how those Item's work."
"I'll be honest," Ryou said a bit solemnly, "I wasn't looking forward to seeing any of you at first."
They each looked at him.
"I did it as a favor to Bakura. But now…" he looked down a bit shamefully. "I'm glad that I did. I thought I just wanted the world to leave me alone but… I know better now. I'm sorry I was rude to you before, Joey."
Joey gave him a serious look.
"After all of da crap we put you through, Ryou, we needed to hear it. Let me tell ya, not one of us blames you one bit for bein' angry."
Ryou leaned back on his pillow and sighed.
"If we'd been any kinda' real friends to you, we'd have been there for you more. We see dat now. An' we're gonna make it up to ya."
At that moment a nurse came into the room. "Visiting hours are over, I'm afraid you'll have to come back later."
"Can we have just a few more minutes to say goodbye, please?" Ryou asked.
She gave him a look that said 'I'm doing you a favor, so don't push it' and said, "Five minutes."
"Thank you."
She left and Serenity gathered the empty cups back into the cardboard carrier.
"Sorry we couldn't stay longer," she said. "Are you feeling any better?"
"I am, thank you."
"They let ya use a cell phone in dis joint?" Joey asked, getting to his feet.
"My cell was smashed," Ryou said simply.
"Oh... Dat sucks. I was gonna say you could always text us, but -"
"I should be fine."
"Me an' da guys'll stop by tomorrow with dat stuff from your house." Joey said.
"What kind of music do you like, Ryou?" Serenity asked.
"I listen to a lot of classical. Especially piano."
She smiled. "Perfect. Then I know just what to bring you next time."
"I appreciate the both of you," Ryou said. "I hope you have a good night."
"You too," Serenity said.
"You too," Joey said at the same time. "Get some better rest tonight, will ya?" He held out his hand and Ryou clapped his good hand against it.
"Sure."
"I'll see ya tomorrow then."
"Goodnight, Ryou," Serenity waved over her shoulder.
"Goodnight."
Once they'd gone, Ryou sighed to himself. He knew he should sleep but he wasn't quite ready yet. Taking his journal into his hands, he turned to some fresh pages, inspected his selection of colored pencils, and began to doodle.
…
"How ya doin'? Okay?" Joey asked, wrapping his arm around his sister.
"Mm hmm," she nodded. "I'm glad he called us. I was worried he'd be too shy, or even too proud."
"Well, ya did good. He told me you've been a big help to him."
She looked up at him, "But I've hardly done anything."
"Dat's not true, you've been great," he went on in detail all she had done.
They walked as they spoke, not noticing as they turned a corner that Odion had appeared behind them from another adjoining hallway. He stopped when he recognized the duo, and realized they must have just come from visiting Ryou Bakura. He walked a ways behind them, debating whether to say hello. They seemed mid-conversation about something and were no doubt ready to get back home at this hour. He decided to leave them be. But he caught something Serenity said. Odion didn't want to be impolite, but it had caught his interest, and he followed behind them just close enough to hear.
"Did you notice he still won't say Marik's name?" Serenity asked. "I was going to mention it, but I thought it would be better to leave him on a happier note. Still… it's really sad, I think."
Joey looked toward the passing ceiling in thought. "Yeah, now dat ya mention it. I guess I haven't heard him say Marik's name."
"Tea warned me about it the last time," Serenity said. "I'd said it without even thinking and he'd stiffened right up."
"Wonder why," Joey mused. "It's just his name. Not like dat can hurt him."
"I think it's something deeper than that. You should probably let Yugi and Tristan know before you see him again."
They approached the main entrance where the well-lit waiting room was full of people waiting to see doctors. Their voices faded amongst the hum of everything else, so Odion held back and watched the Wheeler siblings leave through the sliding doors and into the night air.
He turned back down the hall, and considered all that he had heard.
When he got back to his brother's room, Ishizu was reading with a small light on across the room from Marik's bed. Odion glanced over to see Marik laying with the covers high over his shoulders, back to the door, most certainly sleeping. Odion took a seat next to Ishizu and spoke to her in a hushed voice. She listened to what he had heard and looked forlornly across the room.
"Maybe we shouldn't tell him that," she said. "He needs to focus on his own recovery and that won't do him any good to hear." They sat in silence for a while, then she added, "We should give Ryou Bakura more time. I'm confident he can beat this. So there's no need to hurt Marik with this news. It could very well be temporary."
Odion did not have a response for this, but he nodded with some agreement.
Across the room, out of their line of sight, Marik's eyes were open just enough to see the wall ahead of him. Quiet as the others tried to be, he had heard them. He pictured his friend down the hallway, and what it must look like when he heard the blonde's name simply spoken aloud. Marik didn't move. His face was still. He might have even looked indifferent. But on the inside…
He slowly closed his eyes.
…
The next morning met Ryou with his usual routines of checkups, bathing, and having his sheets changed. He asked about trying solid foods, and after some stat checks and confirmation between two doctors, a dietician, and the nurses, he was brought a small bowl with his tea that contained four thick slices of canned peaches. The dietician made it clear that, just like the breathing respirator, the feeding tube would need to be weaned off as well. So this was a simple test to see how his body would react to swallowing food.
Ryou was a little annoyed by the idea of having to wait for more weaning to be complete, but at least it was progress. And he never thought he would enjoy the usually bland taste of canned peaches so much. It was amazing what taking a break from real food would do; the fruit seemed sweet and delicious. As he forced himself to slowly savor it, he listened to the dietician ponder (not for the first time) how Ryou had consistently needed twice the normal amount of feeding formula through his tube the whole time he'd been admitted to the hospital. Ryou knew this was because his body needed the fuel to maintain both himself and Bakura at once, but he simply shrugged off the doctor's comments and admitted he'd always been a man with a big appetite. He learned that before he had regained consciousness after his surgeries, the doctors had been concerned enough to run tests in several areas to be sure there wasn't some unnoticed illness affecting his metabolic rate, but all tests had come back negative and they were left to chalk it up to the simple fact that he was still a growing teenager, and the need for extra fuel was his system's desperate attempt to heal itself.
At least he didn't need to be consistently hooked to his feeding bags anymore. He'd been conscious long enough for them to establish a pattern and arrange a feeding schedule, so he would have the option to leave his hospital room soon. But his schedule still consisted of double the amount required for an average patient. So if he felt he was well enough to be out of bed for any long period of time, he would need to take the bag stand with him. On top of that, this would only be possible after he could manage to use the restroom on his own. And boy would he be happy to have that dignity back. But the hospital staff were more than used to that sort of thing so they made no big deal about it at all, which helped Ryou to ignore it for the most part. At least everything he was attached to was subtle and easy to hide beneath his covers.
Bloody glad I was unconscious for all of that initial setup, he thought with a shudder.
On the bright side, they were able to reduce his pain medication a little, and breathing was easier than it had been. Soreness still plagued him now and again but he rarely dealt with any serious pain, which he was grateful for. His biggest struggle was to not go nuts with boredom. But he had faith his friends would be able to help him with that soon enough. Ryou smirked to himself at the thought. His 'friends'. Who'd have thought?
…
About 1 o'clock that afternoon, Yugi entered an American-style diner and scanned the tables until he spotted Tea. Several books were stacked on the table, one opened in front of her now. Papers were everywhere and she sat with her head in one hand, and a pencil rapidly tapping the tabletop in the other.
"Hey Tea," Yugi said, slipping into the seat across from her.
She glance up and gave him a weak smile. She looked exhausted. "Hi Yugi."
"How long have you been here?"
"Since it opened this morning." She put the pencil down and sat up straight, rubbing at her eyes.
"Did you get anything to eat?" Yugi asked.
"I've had breakfast and lunch already. They'd probably be annoyed with me staying here so long if I didn't."
"You look beat."
"It's all of this reading!" She leaned back against the seat and stretched her arms up. "I'm done with it, I'm telling ya."
"Did you find out anything that could help us?"
"Not a heck of a lot. And that's what's annoying me the most, I think." She gestured to her open notebook next to the text books. "Most of the cases that are used as examples of PTSD involve either war trauma or rape. Neither or those apply, but I kept on reading to see if there was anything we could still use. I can't tell you how annoyed I am at reading introductions to this stuff. It all starts out the same. My brain's starting to reel, I've gone over all of this so many times."
"Want me to get you some coffee?" he asked. "A break might do you good."
"Yeah, would you? I'm afraid to order anything else." She smiled gratefully.
"Sure. I'll be right back."
When he returned, her chin was resting on her arms with her eyes closed. Yugi tapped her hand and place the coffee in front of her.
"Thanks a lot," she said, taking the cup in her hands.
"So what were you able to find out?" Yugi asked, taking his seat again.
She took a generous swig from her drink before explaining. "That 'Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a serious mental health condition resulting from traumatic events'. I've read those lines so many times I'll never forget the definition." She allowed herself a brief smirk then answered seriously. "Like I said, there wasn't really a specific type I could relate it to. It seems to be the same basic thing no matter what the event actually was. I realize there are always unique circumstances, but it's not as complex as other mental issues. I tried looking up cases of people being beaten by loved ones while I was at home, but that just got depressing. They all focused more on the event rather than the recovery. Trying to sell news and all of that."
She took another drink as Yugi nodded.
"So I went and checked out some texts books on it. If nothing else, these wouldn't try to sell me ads like the internet. But again, it's all pretty much the same. Most of it just talks about how PTSD effects people and suggests talking to a doctor and getting prescribed medications. But since we're not going that route, I started looking more strictly at recovery methods. This turned out to be the most repetitive because anything that varies all pertains to traumatic things that didn't happen to Ryou. The rest all says the same stuff. And that's what I've written down here."
She turned her notebook back a few pages then turned it toward Yugi.
"Ignore all those notes in the margin there," she said. "Those were for me. I put the basic points here."
...
Coping With Traumatic Stress Reactions
Taking direct action to cope with their stress reactions puts survivors of trauma in a positive position of power. Actively coping (as opposed to burying the effects) can help the victim feel less helpless.
Active coping involves accepting the impact the trauma has made on your life and taking direct actions to improve the situation.
Active coping is learning to respond to everyday life once there is no crisis. It is a habit that must be made stronger over time.
Most people experience stress reactions after being exposed to something traumatic. Understanding that recovery is a process and takes time is important to the victim's success. And knowing this will help them feel more in control.
Experiencing an ongoing response to the trauma is normal.
Recovery is an ongoing, daily process that happens little by little. Do not treat it as a matter that can be suddenly cured.
Healing does not mean forgetting the traumatic events, and it does not mean having no pain or bad feelings when thinking about them.
Healing may mean fewer symptoms and/or symptoms that bother you less.
Expect more confidence that you will be able to cope with your memories and symptoms. You'll be better able to manage your feelings.
Positive Coping Actions
Learn about trauma and PTSD.
Talk to others for support.
Practice relaxation methods.
Muscle relaxation exercises.
Breathing exercises.
Meditation.
Swimming, stretching, yoga.
Prayer.
Listening to quiet music.
Spending time in nature.
Distracting yourself with positive activities.
...
Yugi skimmed over the pages to find similar lists of what to expect, what to watch out for, and how to react.
"I think you did a good job," he said in thought.
Tea sat with her head in her hand again, letting her eyes rest. "Most of that seems pretty straightforward in my opinion. It's all stuff we pretty much considered from the get go. But at least we got some confirmation. I sum it up to: Stay connected with friends, talk about it instead of ignoring it, and remind yourself to stay grounded in the present when having nightmares or flashbacks." She took another drink then sighed. "And don't turn to drugs and alcohol."
Yugi smirked. "Yeah. I don't see him doing that though. I'd be more worried about a more direct approach to self-harm."
Tea opened her eyes. "Do you think he would?"
Yugi looked up, a little surprised. "I was just thinking out loud. No… No, I don't think he would." He looked back at the notes and added under his breath. "I hope not."
Tea's eyes wandered over Yugi, then down to the table. "He did call Serenity last night," She said thoughtfully. "I think we can trust him to ask for help."
"Well, he's going to get it whether he asks or not." Yugi's brow furrowed with determination.
"I think we're on the right track, Yugi. And I think it's good that we work together and separately at the same time. Me and Serenity can focus on the more therapeutic aspect, and you guys can work on helping him face his fears."
"Yeah." Yugi collected the papers. "Alright if I take these?"
"Please," She said. "That's what they're for."
"I'm thinking about asking him about some of this outright, just to see how much of it actually applies."
Tea shrugged. "It's up to you. You know how guys think better than I do." Yugi glance up at her and she winked at him.
"Are you going to visit him today?" he asked.
"I don't know. I'm really beat. I hardly slept at all last night, so I did most of that internet research. And after all those stories, I really couldn't sleep."
"I'll walk you home then. You can get some rest and I'll meet up with Joey and Tristan before we go to Ryou's house."
"Sounds solid," she said, stretching again.
...
AN: I would have liked to incorporate card games into this story, but I don't understand enough about the game to do that. And I literally have no more time in my day to study more than I am. All of the reading I did on PTSD was done during my work breaks. :P - I did my best to put the research into my own words. Something that was a real thorn in my side during high school. I would love to be able to go back in time and explain to myself how to do it properly.