AN: Against my better judgement, I'm posting two chapters today in order to get this thing going; instead of saving a chapter in advance. I realize things have been happening slowly, and while I don't want this to be rushed (which I definitely don't think it is) I don't want it to take longer than it has to either. So here's another one for you and I'll just keep pressing on to have another done by next week.
Ch 13
…
By 3 o'clock, Tea was back at home and Yugi stood in front of Ryou Bakura's house alongside Tristan and Joey. He'd gone over the notes with them and they'd talked it over before coming to an agreement of how they were going to move forward.
Tristan looked up at the house as they approached the porch. "I've never seen the inside of his house before."
"Me neither," Yugi said. He glanced around to make sure no one else was watching, then reached his finger into the snug space behind the mailbox posted against the outer wall. Sure enough, he felt the narrow metal of the spare key and worked to get it out.
As soon as he opened the door, a cold air came out to meet them. A single lamp was on in the living room, but otherwise everything was dark. It was clear no one had been home in some time.
They removed their shoes and Yugi turned on the hallway light. He removed the piece of paper he'd gotten from Ryou and glanced at the list.
"Alright," he said. "You guys look for his bedroom, I'll take care of the kitchen." He passed the paper to Tristan before moving on.
"What are we lookin' for?" Joey asked, craning his neck to see the list.
"Books mostly," Tristan said. "And his CD player and headphones. 'Either in the bedroom or the spare room upstairs', it says."
Joey quirked his jaw to the side. "'Kay. I'll go look for it."
"And this book is upstairs too, it says." Tristan pointed at the title.
"Got it," Joey said, mumbling the title to himself several times as he headed up the stairs.
Tristan saw two more titles on the list, and began to look for them on the lower level.
Yugi found the box of tea bags Ryou requested without much effort. Placing them on the counter, he looked around the kitchen before deciding to check inside the fridge. There was half a carton of milk that would have gone bad by now, as well as a few vegetables and such. Yugi went looking for the trash bags.
With no idea which room was which, Joey started at the door closest to the stairs and opened one after another: Locked door. Sheet closet. Bathroom. Sewing room –
Joey stopped. He looked into the room dimly lit from the light outside the window. The long tabletop held several covered machines, and a rack of many colored threads hung on the wall. Plastic drawers were everywhere containing ribbons, buttons and the like. Several hand stitched creations hung on the wall, and next to the door was a plaque with four different hand prints. Two were adult, one was a child's and the other a very small child's. The names: Dad, Mum, Ryou, Amane were carved underneath each one respectively. Joey stared at it a moment longer, then carefully closed the door.
Downstairs, Tristan had easily found the two books he was after and looked idly around the living room, taking everything in. Noticing a potted plant with very dry dirt, he went to the kitchen to fill a glass with water.
He spotted Yugi with a trash bag in front of the open fridge.
"We should make a list of what you throw out, just in case."
"Sure," Yugi said, checking the date on a bottle of orange juice.
Tristan went to water the plant and then looked around for any more.
Up above them, Joey had found a bedroom that must have belonged to the father. He left that be. Only two doors left. One had a large desk across from the door and Joey immediately spotted the CD player next to a case. He gathered it up and noticed several figurines on the desk. One was only partially painted. Joey looked around the room and saw several display cases filled with similar characters. Some of them undoubtedly belonged to the "Monster World" game, but others seemed to be custom designed for other purposes. Joey looked back at the desk. Brushes and paints were close at hand as if used not too long ago. So it must have definitely been Ryou's doing, and not his father's.
Joey left that room and tried the last one, which had to be Ryou's.
"Did you find 'em?" Tristan called from downstairs.
"Yeah, just gimme a minute," Joey called back.
He checked the bedside table but didn't see any books. So he inspected the shelves until he found the title. His eyes lingered on the others; Ryou sure liked scary stories. He wondered if that would change now. Joey looked around the room. It was plain enough, but here and there were traces of Halloween or occult memorabilia. Joey wondered if any of this would still be here when Ryou came back home, or if he'd find himself a new interest.
Coming down the stairs, he spotted Tristan in the hallway looking at a variety of hanging pictures on the wall. Family photos, portraits, candid moments of the children…
Joey stood beside him and looked too. Neither of them said a word. The people in the photos all looked so happy, even in the few where they were caught off guard. Tristan sighed to himself.
Yugi appeared through the kitchen doorway and stopped when he saw them both. "What up?" he asked, coming over to see what they were looking at.
"This place must feel really empty to him now," Tristan muttered.
"Yeah," Joey added. "Poor guy."
Yugi looked sadly at a lovely portrait of Ryou's parents. "Come on, we should get going," he said.
…
Taking the trash bag with him, Yugi passed one final look behind them to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything, and then turned off the hall light. Double checking that the door was secured, he returned the key to its hiding place and carried the bag to the trash can.
They began making their way towards the hospital, and for some time, no one said anything. Yugi glance at his companions to see both of them lost to their thoughts, and not looking happy about it.
"Are you guys that bothered by those pictures?" Yugi asked. "You look depressed."
"I ain't bothered," Joey said.
"Me neither," Tristan agreed.
"So what is it then?"
They didn't answer at first.
"It just all seemed so…" Joey started.
"Human," Tristan finished.
"Yeah," Joey said.
"What do you mean?" Yugi gave them a look.
"Whenever I used to think about Ryou Bakura, I used to think …" Tristan said.
"Dat we wasn't so human," Joey added.
"Yeah."
Yugi was about to say that was ridiculous, but he couldn't deny there was a hint of truth in their words. Ryou Bakura had always been a friendly enough foreign exchange student from school, and that's all they'd known about him for a long time. Then they found out more and more how sly and shifty he could be, and how cunning and dangerous the spirit inside of him was. After that, and after facing against the spirit more than once, any thoughts of Ryou had always come with thoughts of caution and vigilance in Yugi's mind. Apparently it was the same for his friends.
"But now we've seen his home," Tristan said. "And his family."
"And his hobbies," Joey added. The others looked at him and he explained about the figures he'd seen upstairs.
"Sure he's into some creepy stuff," he added. "But really he's just…"
They all thought about it, coming to the same conclusion.
"Just a regular guy," Yugi said. "Like any of us."
"Yeah," the other's agreed.
…
"Marik, please say something," Ishizu begged.
Her brother lay on his side, staring at the wall as he had been since the night before. All of her questions had gone unanswered and he barely reacted when the nurses came in to examine him. When he refused to speak to them either, Ishizu had asked for more time alone with him before they continued. Now she and Odion were alone with Marik again, and he still wasn't cooperating.
Odion moved around the bed and knelt down in front of his brother. Marik moved his gaze down to the mattress.
"Master?" Odion asked, a little worried.
No answer.
Odion reached out for Marik's hand but the blonde slowly pulled away and tucked it up against his chest.
"What's wrong?" Odion asked.
Still no answer. The golden-eyed man lowered his head a bit, but Marik refused to look at him.
"We can't help you if you won't speak to us," Ishizu said.
A frown formed on Marik's brow.
"It's rude, what you're doing," she tried again. "What have we done to deserve it?" Her voice was harsh but Odion knew she was really worried.
Marik closed his eyes and curled up further.
Odion looked sadly at his brother. "Please, Master," he said softly. "What can I do?"
Marik turned his head further into his pillow, strands of his hair falling over his eyes.
"Leave me."
The whisper was so soft that the eldest Ishtar barely heard it. It wasn't hostile. It wasn't angry. It was anguished. As if speaking were too painful to manage.
Odion was hurt too. Hurt to see Marik in such a state without any means to console him. Hurt that his presence was seen as an annoyance and not a comfort. Yet it was not the first time. Odion got to his feet and quietly coaxed a displeased Ishizu from the room with him. Once the door was closed, Marik brought his knees in as close as he could and hugged himself, hiding his face completely against his pillow.
…
Feeling the need to distance themselves, but not wanting to go far in case they were needed, Odion led Ishizu out to the gardens for some air. Both of them were too distressed to notice as they passed by Ryou's room…
Inside, the nurse was helping the British teen stretch out his legs and bend his knees to keep his joints from tightening up. This used to be done as he sat upright in bed, but now that his rib was better, they brought in a kind of support stand for him to lean over as he stood up. This was done so that his back could rest in a somewhat elevated position and heat could be applied to his bruises. It also gave his leg muscles a taste of holding him up again; something that he was a little surprised to find difficult now.
"Not to worry," the nurse assured him as she carefully supported his foot through the exercise. "It's to be expected from spending so much time in bed. But you'll get the muscle strength back soon enough."
Ryou frowned a little at this, feeling the circulation rush through his legs as he brought one to a bent position again and again. Then switched to the other.
"How's the stiffness?" she asked him.
"Not too bad, really."
"That's good. Did you run a lot before this?"
"Now and then."
"That should be in your favor then. A person less physically active might have more difficulty in keeping limber, but you should be fine before you know it."
"The heat packs always feel nice," he said, trying to keep his own feelings of awkward self-consciousness at bay. "How do the bruises look?"
"Definitely better," she said. "I can show you."
Taking a rather large hand mirror from her cart or equipment, she removed the heat pack and held the mirror up; taking a step to the side for him to see. Ryou looked over his shoulder to the mirror. True enough, more of his ivory skin was showing through the mess now. The red and deepest purples were gone, and now it looked like a battered back instead of a rotting meat slab.
"Brilliant," he said with a small smile. "Thank you."
"We'll leave the heat packs on a bit longer if you feel your legs will hold you."
"Yes, I can manage," he agreed. It felt nice to not lay on his back for a while. He wished his legs felt strong enough to hold him so he wouldn't need to lie down at all. But it couldn't be helped.
"Still no dizziness?" she asked, inspecting his eyes.
"No."
This continued on for a while before she helped him back into bed. Afterward, she finished marking down his status, noted the gradual progress, and gave a final check that nothing else needed tending to. As she was leaving, she discovered he had visitors waiting to see him. She greeted them and let them enter.
Yugi and the others greeted Ryou with the usual How-are-you's and he shared his progress. They presented his requested items and assured him that his house was safely secured.
"I even watered your plants for you," Tristan said with a playful smile.
Ryou gave a small laugh, "I hadn't thought of that. I appreciate it."
Taking their seats, Yugi brought out the papers he'd gotten from Tea, and told Ryou about her research.
Ryou raised his eyebrows. "Well she didn't need to pull an all-nighter over it. Blimey."
"She'll be fine," Yugi said. "Some of the research kept her up anyway. But listen, I was going over it and I think I ought to ask you some questions to find out how much this actually applies to you."
"Right."
"I hope you know that this isn't me trying to butt into your business or make you feel uncomfortable at all. Even if it happens, we're only working to help you. You know that, right?"
Ryou lowered his eyes but nodded.
"Okay," Yugi looked at his list. "Are you fine with all three of us being here for this? If you'd rather not talk in front of someone or if you'd prefer one on one with any of us, we've all agreed to work with that."
"Thanks, but if we're going to get unpleasant, we might as well all be up to speed, yeah?"
"Alright. If you change your mind, just say so." He looked over the list and fidgeted in his seat. "So... some of this may seem obvious, but I'd like to hear it from you rather than assume anything, so please be honest. You've had nightmares. Have you also had waking flashbacks?"
"A couple of times. But not as vividly." Ryou answered.
"Alright. This is sort of the same question but, do you ever feel you're reliving the experience when you're not dreaming?"
"Same answer."
"I thought so." He sighed at the next question. "Do you feel emotionally cut off?"
Ryou frowned a little and glanced at him. Yugi made a face that said 'I know, just indulge me.'
"Uummm," Ryou tried to think of what exactly that meant. "I don't know. No… Maybe?"
"Okay, well we'll get into it deeper, we're just trying to scratch off anything that doesn't apply to you before we do. Do you feel numb or have a loss of interest in things?"
"I did," Ryou admitted. "Pretty bad, but… I'm not sure about now."
"Okay. Do you feel a nagging need to drink or do drugs?"
"No."
Yugi crossed that out. "And your medication? Have you asked for a dose increase in anything?"
"No."
"Do you ever consider harming yourself?"
Ryou looked at him, "Why would I do that? Cause myself more harm, that doesn't make any sense?"
"Is that a no?"
"I – yes, that's a no."
"Just have to ask. Please don't take it personal. Do you ever consider harming anyone else? Your nurses? Or any of us?"
Ryou looked a little offended but still answered, "No."
"Would you admit it if you did?"
"No because I would have done it already," Ryou said.
"Fair enough," Yugi said, trying to keep his tone light but honest.
"Do you think that about me, Yugi?" Ryou asked. "That I would do that?"
The other looked back at him. "No. It's just a question on a list, that's all."
Ryou sighed to himself.
"Do you feel depressed?" Yugi asked.
"No," then afterward, "Yes."
"Do you feel restless, jittery?"
"No."
"Easily anxious or angry?"
"I don't know."
"Difficulty sleeping?"
"Sometimes."
"Do you feel your thoughts are scattered or have difficulty staying focused on anything?" Yugi asked.
"No."
"Do you feel like you're in danger?"
No response.
The others all lifted their heads to look at him. Ryou's eyes looked uncertainly across the room. He seemed to be considering the question, but didn't give an answer. As subtly as he could, Yugi underlined this question.
"Are you having trouble relating to us?"
Ryou looked at them. Each of their eyes looked back at him with sincerity, asking the same question. Ryou lowered his gaze and simply shrugged his shoulders.
"Do you feel alone?" Yugi asked carefully.
Ryou's lips twitched. He pinched the sheets beneath his fingers and made himself nod in response.
"Last question. Are you working to ignore what happened?"
At first there was no response. Then Ryou looked at him. "How could I ignore it? I'm in the hospital?"
That sounded like dodging. "Well, do you try to keep your mind preoccupied with stuff not related to what happened?" Yugi asked.
"Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?"
"In part, yes. So long as you're also addressing the issue."
"Addressing it?"
"Talking it out."
"I know – I mean…" Ryou shut his mouth and tried to choose his words. "I can tell the story but you already know what happened. Reliving it will just be making it worse, wouldn't it?"
Red flag. "It would hurt, no doubt," Yugi said. "But coping involves facing those things, not burying them."
"But it isn't burying, it's just moving past them."
"Can I say somethin'?" Joey piped up. They turned to him. "Last night when you were drawing da house for us, you had trouble with certain parts. But after we agreed not to get into too much detail, you seemed to have an easier time."
"What about it?" Ryou asked.
"Well…" Joey looked at Yugi for some back up. "Isn't that somethin' we oughtta pay attention to?"
"Maybe," Yugi said thoughtfully. He turned back to Ryou. "I think he's saying that even if you talk about it, it's not quite the same as dealing with it."
"So what am I supposed to do then?"
"The same thing you would do with a counselor, right? Talk to us about it, and we'll figure out what's bothering you the most and how to deal with it."
"And then what?" Ryou asked, the agitation becoming more apparent in his voice. "You want me to keep reliving it until I cry some more?"
"If that's what it takes but no, we're not out to make you cry. Though there's nothing wrong if you need to."
"Bloody -" Ryou turned his head away with a huff. He took a deep breath, muttering to himself. "Alright, alright, alright."
The others waited patiently.
"So you're suggesting I recount what happened in the grim details that we weren't going to share last night. Is that what you're saying, Joey?"
"Yyyyes," Joey said, as though asking himself the same question.
Ryou frowned at the far wall. He really didn't want to. But he knew it would come to this. He knew he probably ought to. But he just couldn't rationalize why. What good would it really do? Surely it would be like ripping open deep scabs, it would only make the scars worse, wouldn't it?
"There's an alternative," Yugi said.
Ryou looked back at him.
"If you don't want to talk about the house, then we'll talk about Marik."
Ryou went rigid, his eyes widening as if he'd just been terribly slandered.
"I'll bet anything that's where most of the damage lies -"
"No!" Ryou cut him off.
Yugi wasn't surprised. "Why not?"
"Because I said no!"
"You have to give me better than that, Ryou."
"I'm not talking about him!"
"About who?"
Ryou glared at him.
"About who?" Yugi asked pointedly.
Ryou scoffed loudly and tossed his head to the other side.
"You can't even say his name, can you?"
"Of course I can!"
"Then do it."
Nothing.
"Ryou."
"No!"
"Why not?"
"Because it's pointless!"
"Then it can't hurt you, can it?"
"I don't want to – No!" Ryou's eyes suddenly scrunched tight and his hands flew to his head. "Don't, stop!" He shook his head as a pained expression passed over his face. "No, Bakura!"
The others watched him with concern.
"I can't, I can't! Stop! Please!.. Please…" he lowered his voice, still completely tense. "Alright, please! ...Fine." His breathing became shallower and he relaxed a little. "I'm sorry," he said in a quieter voice. He opened his eyes and glanced in the general direction his company. "I'm sorry. I'll talk about the house. I get it."
The others gradually relaxed.
"Okay," Yugi said carefully. He gave the pale teen time to collect himself. Keeping his tone light he added, "We're really not trying to make this worse for you, Ryou. We're your friends, and we want to help."
"I know," Ryou said quickly. He put his hands over his face, taking another deep breath. "Can we just… Can we make tea or something first?"
"We can do that."
"I'll go ask the nurse for a pitcher." Tristan said, getting to his feet.
"Bloody fucking hell," Ryou murmured under his breath.
"What happened?" Joey asked. "Did dat spirit hurt you?"
"No," Ryou shook his head. "No, he just wasn't taking no for an answer this time. Relentless tosser." He grimaced again with a hiss. "Will you cut me some sodding slack? I'm doing the best I can! This isn't easy!" He huffed in aggravation and massaged his temples.
Yugi and Joey exchanged a look but said nothing. Tristan returned with a pitcher courteously filled with hot water, as well as a few drinks from the vending machine. They set it up on a nearby bedside tray and waited until Ryou was content with his tea cup. He downed most of the first one right away before pouring himself another.
Tristan and Joey opened their sodas and sipped at them.
"Alright," Ryou said. "I can't make promises, but I'll do my best not to be difficult. Where do you want me to start?"
…