Okay. I did it. I'm exhausted, but I wrote a chapter because I love you guys way too much.

Brittney-xx: I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. Just not updating as much as before. I'm so glad you like it though! I wanted to make them as realistic as possible. I love the Winter Soldier, and I really just wanted to do something based solely around him, and this is what happened. But I'm glad you like it! I hope you continue to do so!

Guest: Bucky needs a big, long hug full of love and rainbows and puppies.

Sage: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. They'll get to that eventually, don't worry. I was going to stick it in this chapter, but that would be a little too soon. It's coming but not for a couple more chapters.

jennyrenee: Aww I'm glad! I hope you continue to enjoy it!

Azure83: Aww thanks! The idea of Bucky being able to fly was a little far fetched. And it would just be too dangerous. So I put them on a cargo ship. Which is how I'm going to travel if I ever go overseas. I refuse to fly, unless I have no other choice.

HaveYouEverHeardTheStory: Aww thanks! Sadly, I won't be uploading as much because I'm super tired and on medication and trying to go back to work at the same time, so don't expect it to be the same volume as before, but I'll try to get at least one chapter posted a day. Maybe more if I get the inspiration.

Tiphanie: You've inspired a lot! I usually don't start writing the next chapter until you review. I only do that if I'm on a roll. And sometimes I've added things in because of your reviews. Bucky wouldn't just remember his emotions right away. He went decades without feeling much of anything besides pain, so of course he's not going to recognize what he's feeling. I really wanted to make that a big part of this story. I wanted both of them to struggle, and they'll continue to do so until the end. I really put a lot of thought into this story, if you haven't noticed.

Guest: They'll talk about it eventually. Not for a couple more chapters, but he'll find out. And it won't be pretty.

Enjoy!

The days went by slowly, James and I falling into a routine. He would stay awake at night while I slept, and then he'd sleep during the day. I'd bring him food sometimes, and other times he'd eat with the crew. We shared a few words, mostly in passing. I knew he was trying to work through things. From what I'd heard so far, he didn't remember much, but it was starting to come back. He'd started having nightmares because of it. The times I'd been in the room while he was asleep, he'd murmur, sometimes in English, sometimes in other languages. He'd jerk around the bed, and I was worried he'd fall right off.

I supposed I wasn't any better. I still had nightmares, mostly of Rumlow. Some of James, before he was James. Some of my father. I usually woke up to James as he tried to pull me from the horror my subconscious created. I felt bad, that I couldn't do the same for him, but he reassured me it was probably for the best. He was remembering things.

I woke up one night with something warm against my back. It took me a moment to register we were still on the boat, just a few days from Italy. I froze, my body stiffening in fear as I waited for the hands to start touching me, for it to happen finally. Maybe this was what he was waiting for. For me to be at my weakest, let my guard down. Get me to trust him so that it would be easier.

"You were shaking." I heard his voice, soft from somewhere above me.

I turned my head, gripping the blanket tightly to see him sitting beside me on the bed. The warm thing against my back was his leg, stretched out in front of him on the bed, the other on the floor. He was staring blankly at the wall in front of him, his hands folded in his lap.

"I can move." He said, shifting slightly.

I inhaled shakily. "It's fine." I shifted away from him a couple inches.

But it wasn't fine. I was terrified, my organs shaking as I waited for him to move. To pounce. But he didn't even shift his weight, reach up to scratch his nose. Nothing. He was as still as a statue, his breathing steady. I almost would have thought he was asleep, but I knew better than that. I wasn't going to get much sleep the rest of the night either.

He was staring at the wall still when the sun came up. He seemed lost in thought, somewhere deep, trying to remember, or in the process of remembering. I stopped moving, not wanting to disturb him, if he was remembering. Sure, some things he did, I was sure he'd rather not remember, but there were other things. Back before the war, back before HYDRA. I tried to remember those days too, but even I felt them slipping away from me slowly. This was my life now. A life of fear, constantly having to be on the run because of HYDRA. I felt bad for him. He'd endured so much torture, dealt some out as well. He'd killed people. Innocent people.

He finally moved off the bed, walking to the duffel bag. He was getting scruffy, growing a beard. He looked like a sailor now, like he belonged on the ship. I was sure I didn't look much better, but we were on the run. We weren't supposed to look clean and fresh. We were also on a boat, travelling to a different country to escape people trying to kill us.

"Do you want breakfast?" I asked as I pulled my sweatshirt on over my head. "I can see if I can bring something up for you."

"No." He said, shaking his head. "Go, eat something. I'll be fine."

I could tell he wanted to be alone, so I did just that, heading down to the mess room for breakfast. The crew nodded their good mornings, not paying me much attention. Except for Lorenzo. The first crew member I'd met, and one of the few that speaks English. I sat by him once I had my breakfast, making small talk with him.

"Where is your companion this morning?" He asked me.

"Probably in bed." I said. "He's tired. I offered to bring him breakfast, but he turned me down."

"He cares about you." Lorenzo said after a moment. "A lot. More than either of you realize. I've seen him. How he watches your every move, watches the crew around you."

"Yeah...he's pretty protective. I haven't known him all that long, but we've been through alot in that short amount of time." It was true. It had only been a few weeks since we'd first met when he'd dragged me home kicking and screaming. "I guess he feels like it's his job to protect me."

Lorenzo nodded, but the look on his face said otherwise. I didn't push it, letting him get off to work, but not before he slipped me some extra food.

"For your companion, Passerotta." He winked at me before slipping off to go above deck.

I carried the biscuits in my pocket back up to the room. I listened for a moment, but couldn't hear anything besides the creaking of the ship. So I cautiously opened the door, slipping inside. James was asleep, the blanket tugged up around his neck. He looked peaceful this time, so I moved slowly, placing the biscuits by the bed.

"You don't have to do that." He said, nearly scaring me to death.

"Do what?" I asked, after taking a moment to breathe. Calm my pounding heart.

"Sneak around. You always wake me up when you come in."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I'll stop coming in while you're asleep then."

"No." He said, sitting up. "I'm just not used to sleeping. Every small noise wakes me up. I'm sorry for scaring you." He grabbed the rolled up biscuits, breaking one in half before eating it slowly. "I have to get used to a lot of things again." He said, looking down at the ground.

My heart ached for him a little. He'd been through so much. He didn't deserve this. He deserved so much more. He was Captain America's best friend. He deserved the world. He deserved to be with Steve again, and heal and get his memories back. I knew he wouldn't be the same, I wouldn't ever be either, but maybe Lorenzo was right. He did care about me. He just wasn't quite sure what he was feeling. Or that he was feeling at all. But maybe...maybe there was hope that we would heal. It would take time, but maybe it was starting to look possible. Getting away, escaping somewhere relatively safe to take one thing off our minds so we could focus on what we really needed. Healing.