A/N I am once again, skipping ahead in Kat's pregnancy this time to 38 weeks
So, things didn't exactly go as planned this week. As far as the GIRLS, they both did everything right, they are head down, only about 12% difference in size. It's my BODY that won't cooperate!
When I went in for an internal Thursday my cervix was COMPLETELY closed, high, not even soft or effaced. I.e: unfavorable for an induction. Despite all my strong Braxton hix, cramps etc, my cervix just does NOT want to do what it's supposed to do. Bad memories of being in labor with Jackson and taking 12 hours to get from 0-2cm!
The bottom line is that garden variety OBs like mine are VERY uncomfortable delivering twins past 38 weeks (they talk about risks of cord entanglement, still birth, low fluid etc etc). Now I'm pretty sure from reading and doing research that there may not be too much truth to this, but I've had the sneaking suspicion that my body just does NOT want to go into labor, similar to how it did not with Jackson, which is why I carried him 41+ weeks. That is simply not an option for me at this point..
I've barely managed to survive until 38, I really don't think I can take another day. And there's NO way they would let me go until when I think my body would be ready.
The other factor that's been haunting me is that my baseline of discomfort is so ridiculously high, that the idea of LABORING on top of it is frankly inconceivable. In fact, at the MFM on Wednesday for my non-stress test I was actually crying from the back pain, gas pains and lack of oxygen from being on my back for so long. How would I ever survive labor?
I do admit I feel a bit as if I'm giving up the good fight..but these are the choices I made a while back when I decided to opt for a hospital with a higher-level NICU (in case the girls were born early) rather than a hospital where midwives would deliver me (like where I had Jackson.) But it is what it is. Tomorrow I'll be a mom of THREE!
I would write more, a LOT more, but it's my last few hours with Jackson and he's dying for my attention right now..more later when I can!