Everyone has been there.
You invest time and effort in to someone who you think will be a lifelong friend, only to discover that after your usefulness to them has worn out, you're no longer a part of their life. You're tossed from their circle like a pair of shitty underwear, destined to remain a story happily forgotten.
As I get ready to send my oldest off to school, I can't help but wonder who he will become friends with. Will he find life long companionship right off the bat and stick with them forever? Will our home become a revolving door for a blur of random personalities until he finds the combination that sticks? Will he ever create a strong bond with anyone?
I was spoiled in the fact that I found my forever friends long before I figured out what the sticky tabs on maxi pads were used for. We are all still amazing friends to this day, so there is little need for me to search out others to fill the friendship void. However, that doesn't mean I don't keep an eye out new relationships. The thought of adding another like-minded soul to my life is an exciting prospect! Despite the fact that I have no social life (Thanks, kids.), the thought of new blood makes me happy.
With all experiments, all heart-on-the-sleeve crap, comes a fair amount of disappointment, too. How many of us adults have spent time nurturing a relationship only to discover your new friend is really a dick? A Debbie Downer? A narcissist? When the honeymoon phase wears off and the excitement fades, how do you handle knowing that your time was wasted on something that most likely had no chance of moving forward?
Well, it sucks. I'm not too proud to say that I've jumped head-first in to many friendships that left me feeling pretty used at the end. Even as adults, we are not immuned to meeting people who just aren't worth our time. You can only invest for so long before you have to pull the plug and let that shit die.
When my children start forming bonds with others, I want them to know that it is perfectly okay to leave a relationship that does not make them feel good about themselves. Friends are supposed to make you a better version of yourself, not make you feel like you're always chasing them to keep the interest alive.
Does your 'friend' take your time for granted over and over again? It might be time to leave.
Does your 'friend' only seem to need you when they need a favor? It's probably time to leave.
Does your 'friend' say things to purposely embarrass you in public? It is most likely time to leave.
Does your 'friend' act annoyed when you contact them? That's a pretty good hint it's time to leave.
Does your 'friend' act like they have a split personality when you do talk? You should probably call a cab and leave.
Does your 'friend' make you feel shame for your sense of humour? Hand them the walking papers and leave.
Does your 'friend' only hang out with you when there's no better option? You better fucking believe it's time to leave.
Does your 'friend' act rude towards you when others are around? Smack a bitch and leave.
Does your 'friend' ignore you despite efforts to stay in touch? NEWS FLASH! Time to suck it up, leave the guilt, pick your pride off the floor and Get the Fuck Out!
Be kind, be caring, be kinky.