REWRITE!
EVERYTHING BELOW THIS IS A COPY OF MY ORIGINAL EXCEPT FOR A FEW CHANGES.
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Guess whose back... back again... Yes I'm back... tell a friend.
Anyway here is the next chapter.
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Previously.
So obtaining Konoha's scroll, something with would be considered an S-ranked mission by any village, was achieved with as much difficulty as stealing candy from a baby…
Actually since he would have felt guilty about the candy it would have been harder than the scroll.
Maybe tomorrow would hold something more fun for the god child.
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Konoha Academy.
A bunny with blonde hair walked into the room without a care, he sat down by a raven colored duck about which he doesn't give a fuck.
So in short he is sitting beside Sasuke the so called Rookie of the Year.
'Hmm I wonder who will be put on the same team as me with' Naruto thought to himself as he took a quick look that those in the room.
There were the heirs to several Konoha Clans, some clan-less Shinobi children and a few civilian children.
Most of with he didn't care about in the slightest.
And why should he? he is not demigod or avatar of a god but one hundred percent full god, the only thing not full about his godliness is that he is half tree god and half alien bunny god… oh and he has not matured into full 'Level Infinity Ultimate Super Invincible God' but he is getting there dammit.
'I wonder if I should start a cult or religion dedicated to myself but then… what would I have them do? I mean I've heard about religious sacrifices but what would be the point of getting people to worship me if they are just going to kill themselves later on, besides mom is going to use the Infinite Tsukuyomi to gather the chakra needed to recreate her original body so it's not like there will be any people left to worship me in the end… maybe I can create new beings to worship me' Naruto kept planning completely missing the fact that only him, Sasuke and Sakura remained in the classroom after everyone else had gone with their jonin sensei.
He also somehow missed that their sensei had arrived, told them meet him on the roof and was dragged there by his teammates when they noticed that he wasn't moving.
Or blinking… or even breathing, luckily nobody noticed that last one.
Ignoring the fact of not needing air Naruto eventually decided to pay attention again.
"So meet me at training ground seven at three in the morning and I suggest you don't eat breakfast… you'll just puke it all up again" a one eyed man with silver hair said before he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
"… I wonder who that was" Naruto said to himself paying no attention to his teammates who were starting at him with WTF faces.
'That was Kakashi Hatake, he was once my student back before I knew my true self' Cam the voice of the God Tree as Naruto was heading back home.
'Okay, anything I should know?' Naruto asked his father.
'He is one of Konoha's best and was considered a natural genius at a young age, he is known as Copy Ninja Kakashi due to the transplanted Sharingan in his left eye which he got from his teammate Obito Uchiha who now calls himself either Tobi or Madara' Minato told him.
'Sharingan from someone else, kind of like me with Indra's chakra then' Naruto figured.
'No, not really Naru-chan' came the Rabbit Goddess voice as she joined the conversation.
'His is not a natural part of him causing a few problems like being unable to turn it off, your Sharingan however is a natural part of you and it would have appeared on its own eventually, Indra's chakra simply caused it to manifest earlier, what more your eyes are going to be superior to that of any normal Uchiha's thanks to your more powerful body and chakra, not to mention your Shishinkei chūshin (1)' she continued to explain.
'… My what now?' Naruto asked confused.
'Due to me having three eyes and your father having one, you ended up having a unique Tenketsu (2) between your eyebrows that helps your eyes develop and work better as well as a few other useful things' his mother told him happily.
'Why haven't I learned of this until now?' Naruto asked since this seemed like important information.
'Never really came up before' Kushina said getting a sweatdrop from her son.
'Anything else about my own biology that I should be aware of, you know like skin being burned by weed-pesticide due to being part plant?' Naruto asked with a small bit of concern.
'Don't worry, in your human form you are like very resilient and very hard to kill human, I doubt there is anything that a human can do that you eventually can't do just as good or better, you don't really need to breath and can survive on very little food or water, those things are more like little luxuries that you might need from time to time, and despite having organs, none of them are actually vital to your survival since you can survive without half of them for a few hours during which they can regenerate but do be careful not to damage them since things like lungs and heart will try and keep working even while impaled by various things which would be unpleasant for you even with you being able to regenerate' Kushina explained to him.
'Wait, no vital organs, doesn't that mean I can't be killed something?' Naruto asked.
'You have an immortal and eternal soul like mine and your father's but like us your body can be harmed and even die, it just takes a lot of constant damage before the regeneration starts to fail due to lack of energy and matter, your semi-vital organs being gone for to long or there is simply nothing left to regenerate' Kushina answered.
'Um… Hello, can we get back to talking about Kakashi and what you'll do during his test… or at least let me in on the conversation' Minato asked.
'Sorry/Sorry' Mother and Son apologized.
'So what do have to say about my body?' Naruto asked his father.
'Oh nothing, since there is nobody else like you we can't really know any real detailed information, just what we've discovered from studying you from within and comparing it to what we know of ourselves, everything else is just theories and guesswork, I just wanted to be included in the conversation' Minato said happily causing Naruto to sweatdrop again.
'… let's leave the subject of my incomprehensible biology alone for now and talk about the human scarecrow's test' Naruto said and started to plan for the next day.
Next Day: Training Ground Seven.
"YOUR LATE!" screeched the pink banshee.
"Sorry, I a black cat crossed my path and I had to take the long way around" Kakashi said with a eye smile.
"LIAR!"
"So before we being, is our silent friend still asleep or has he woken up?" the Elite Jonin asked and looked at Naruto.
"No, I'm still very much asleep and dreaming of Sakura growing multiple tentacle penises and using them to rape the shit out of you and Sasuke" Naruto said with a completely straight face, getting disturbed looks from all three.
"Err… right, um well you see the test is to get these two bells from me before the clock rings and whoever doesn't have one will be have to watch the rest eat lunch and then be sent back to the academy, so come at me with the intent to kill" Kakashi explained quickly having been thrown off by the mental images created by Naruto's words.
At the start signal the three genin hid themselves from the porn reading ninja.
Naruto quickly found the other two and brought up the need for teamwork but was rejected by both and then watched as Kakashi owned their asses… and fingered Sasuke's apparently.
Seeing a chance for some fun, Naruto went through a few handseals just as Kakashi finished the Sennen Goroshi(3).
"Sengen: Kyōfu (4)" the blonde whispered to himself.
"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" the sensei in question turned to the source of the very loud shout and was unsurprised to see the number one fangirl of the boy who's ass he just violated.
What was a surprise however was the psychotic look on her face, wide bloodshot eyes and foaming from the mouth like a rabid dog.
"HOW DARE YOU, IT WAS MINE, SASUKE-KUN'S ANAL VIGINITY BELONGED TO ME AND YOU STOLE IT, UNFORGIVABLE!" she screamed making Kakashi concerned for her mental health.
The copy ninja however felt nothing but complete and utter terror a moment later when Sakura's shorts were torn apart by several long tentacle like limbs that seemed to originate from Sakura's pelvis region.
"I'M NOW GOING TO TAKE YOURS AND MUCH MORE AS PUNISHMENT SO BEND OVER BITCH!" the pink haired abomination screeched as the genital tentacles started to lash out and capture the terrified ninja.
'Someone is going to need a Yamanaka to do some mind healing when this is all over' Naruto though as he watched Kakashi scream and jump around in fear of the imaginary monster, also Naruto had the slight urge to bring out his horns and paint them red and the laugh like a maniac for some reason.
After a while Naruto ended the genjutsu having become bored with watching Kakashi jump around and preform different jutsu which Naruto copied with his sharingan despite it being unlikely he'd every use them much.
Once the time for the test ran out the yellow haired god waited patiently as Kakashi went and failed them, give his teamwork speech and then pass them when Sasuke feed the tied up Sakura.
'Seriously? What was the point of the first test if you're just going to give us another which you've already explained the answer to moments before, you could have just passed us from the start' Naruto thought to himself as he left the training grounds.
'For the love of myself and my parents, you'd think that having the Akatsuki pretty much doing everything to restore mum and dad for us would be a good thing but that kind of leaves me with little to do besides training' Naruto thought to himself as he went over his skills in order to figure out what to train in.
Ninjutsu: Has a decent collection and can easily enough get more, has the chakra control and capacity to use them for hours before his chakra starts to run out, he has all six main affinities even if wind is the strongest, followed by lighting, then earth and so on getting weaker with each, and finally all his jutsu are enhanced by Natural Energy making them even stronger.
Genjutsu: Not that many but those he has are effective, his eyes and the fact that his genjutsu like ninjutsu can be enhanced by Natural Energy make them even more so.
Taijutsu: While his strength, speed and all other physical attributes are superior to other genin and even several chunin, he has no actual fighting style nor does he have much experience in fighting in hand-to-hand combat.
Besides the main three ninja arts his skills in other things like weapons, seals, trap-making and so on varies.
'I guess finding or creating a fighting style would be the best choice, I'm also going to need someone to be my sparring partner… or punching bag if they aren't good enough but that would slow my own learning progress, so were can a find someone both skilled in taijutsu and willing to be my sparring partner' Naruto thought to himself as he passed a kid who suddenly sneezed.
"YOSH! I MUST NOT LET A COLD INTERUPT MY TRAINING AND GET IN THE WAY OF MY DREAM TO BECOME A GREAT NINJA USING ONLY TAIJUTSU" the green spandex wearing kid shouted.
'Ask and thy shall receive' Naruto wondered if there might be another god that favors him out there besides his parents.
"FLAMES OF YOUUUUUUUUUUUTH!" the spandex boy screamed as his eye burst into flames.
'… on second thought, maybe I should look for more potential sparring partners, just to be sure I get the best one' Naruto sweatdropped and tried to remember anything about a Doujutsu that sets the eyes on fire.
So Naruto left to see if there were anyone else around his age that specialized in taijutsu and would make a better sparring partner than the spandex kid with burning eyes.
He would later learn that No, there wasn't.
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(1): Optic Nerve Center.
(2): Chakra Points.
(3): One Thousand Years of Death.
(4): Sage Illusion: Terror.