So, I can't see any recent reviews, and I don't always get an email alert for every review, since they have yet to fix their bug, so if I don't respond to you, it's because I can't see your review. When (if) they get it fixed, I'll go back and respond. So please, don't get mad if I miss your review!
DarylDixon'sLover: They will, don't worry!
Azure83: There's gonna be a lot of chaos in the story! But I'm glad you love it.
Tiphanie: Haha, I could see where one would think that. But nope! It really happened. And I kinda wanted a sweet, fluffy James for a while, until I destroy them again. He definitely is getting sweet on her, even if he doesn't understand it yet, or even realize it. Olivia's got a lot to learn, but she's starting to fight back. She's gotta keep up with the Winter Soldier!
Guest: Yeah, he called her doll. It's so sweet. And I really don't have a faceclaim for Olivia, so you can use whoever you want!
Cassouminette: That is true! A horrible way to build it, but she's building one nonetheless!
NadzKers12: Haha, I'm glad you liked it! It definitely was intense. Lots of feels coming! Especially in this one!
Enjoy!
"Take your pants off." I stood there frozen. "I'm not asking you to strip, but I need to get the bullet out of your leg." I stared at him wide eyed. "Would you rather me, or someone you don't know. Because those are your options."
I weighed them for a moment, before unbuttoning my jeans, sliding them down my legs, careful of my left thigh. I faced the mirror, bending over the sink so James could get to my wound. He knelt down behind me, and I stared at my face in the mirror. I was shaking with pain and terror, everything that had happened to us flashing through my mind.
"This is going to hurt." He said, holding my leg still with his left hand.
I gripped the edge of the counter, biting my lip so hard it bled as I looked at my face in the mirror. I looked like an abuse victim. My nose and cheek were bruised, and my lip was split. There were dark circles under my eyes and my skin was paler than normal. My leg was burning and tears were falling from my eyes, tracing lines down my skin. The last time I'd been in this position with him, things had been different. I closed my eyes as the memories flashed through my head, Rumlow's voice echoing in my ears. I hadn't realized I'd been shaking until a metal hand touched my back. I jumped, my eyes flashing open.
"I'm gonna stitch you up, so you gotta be still, doll." James said quietly, wiping the blood from my leg.
I tried to ignore the burning, ripping pain shooting through my leg. I watched my face in the mirror, the pathetic crybaby. Weak little Olivia who couldn't even take a punch without acting like it was the end of the world. I was weak. Granted, I was comparing myself to an assassin who'd been tortured by HYDRA. Pain didn't seem to phase him. Nothing seemed to phase him.
"Try not to move it too much tonight." He said, finishing wrapping the gauze around my leg. "We're going to head out tomorrow. Get out of Hungary as fast as possible."
He stood, cleaning up the mess he'd made. I frowned, looking at him in the mirror. He turned to leave the bathroom, but I grabbed his arm.
"James, you're hurt." I said, looking at the blood soaking through his navy blue shirt.
"It's nothing." He said, shrugging.
"No, it's obviously something. You're bleeding." I grabbed the first aid kit from his hand. "Let me help you. You've helped me enough."
He sighed. "Fine. But I'm digging the bullet out."
He pulled both of his shirts over his head, revealing the muscle underneath. I couldn't help but stare as he sat on the edge of the tub, grabbing the tweezers with his metal hand. There was so much power there. So much strength. I watched as he dug the bullet out, feeling faint for a moment, so I sat on the closed toilet lid. He dropped the bullet into my outstretched hand, and I threw it in the garbage can. I covered the wound with a piece of gauze, soaking up the blood that was pouring out of the hole.
My eyes were drawn to his left arm though, well, more his shoulder. The scars that lined the skin where it met metal. It had to hurt. The arm seemed heavy, and I wasn't sure how much of him was metal under the skin. I bit my lip, reaching towards them, but he quickly caught my wrist in his hand, careful not to squeeze it too hard.
"Can you do stitches?" He asked and I nodded, grabbing the needle and thread from where he'd placed it in the first aid kit.
I stitched him up, a blank look on his face. He seemed lost, just staring at the wall.
"James?" I asked quietly. He seemed to come back to himself, turning to look at me. "Why are you so anxious to get to Romania?"
He was quiet for a moment. "I don't remember much. There's a lot of blank spaces. Missing memories. A lot of them before HYDRA." He shook his head. "Every time I close my eyes, the body count keeps getting higher." He grabbed my wrist lightly with his metal hand, stilling my movements as I tied the stitches off. "I made a promise that I'd keep you from joining them. A promise to myself."
"Why? Why do you care so much about me? Why did you come back for me?"
He avoided my gaze, looking to the bathroom floor. "I remember what I did to you. What I was forced to do. I remember hearing my handler talk about you. I wasn't sure at first, why I went back for you. Why I've kept you with me." He swallowed thickly, still refusing to look at me. "You're the closest thing I have to remind myself that I'm still human." He finally looked at me, the intense gaze of his silvery-blue eyes making me squirm inside. "That I'm not just a machine under all the HYDRA programming. I told you I would keep you safe, and I plan to."
Both of us jumped when a knock sounded on the door. The old woman said something, James answering back quickly.
"Dinner's ready." He said, standing from his spot on the edge of the tub. "You should change." He said, nudging my backpack towards me with his foot before he left the bathroom, tugging on his shirt.
I sat there for a moment, breathing deeply before I pulled my last pair of semi-clean pants from my backpack, slipping them on before throwing the others away. We'd need to get new supplies somewhere, if we were going to make it to Romania.
Dinner was refreshing. I hadn't had a home cooked meal in a long time. James translated as much as he could as we made small talk with the couple that had taken us in for the night. James made up a story. We were travelling to see family in Eastern Europe and got caught up in a shootout in town. He didn't give away too much detail, for both our safety, and theirs. I knew he was still weary, but after what had just happened to us, I was too.
I slept well that night, my stomach full, somewhat clean and in a real bed. I forgot how much I missed it. James sat awake across the room from me, a distant look in his eyes. My mind was still reeling after what he'd confessed to me. That was why he'd kept me so long. If I were him, I would have ditched me long ago. But he'd kept me because I reminded him he was human, having someone to take care of. I was proof that he could take care of someone. That he wasn't a lost cause. There was something under the metal armed HYDRA assassin after all.
"James?" I whispered, knowing he'd hear me. "You can sleep." I said, scooting over in the bed. "We're safe here. I highly doubt they'll come looking for us. The other's didn't."
I saw his jaw clench before he spoke. "I don't want to hurt you." He said finally, his voice rough. "Every time I close my eyes-"
"I know." I said, sitting up. "You relive a nightmare that already happened." I stared down at my hands. "I still see him, sometimes, in my sleep. Rumlow. Your handler. He's there, taunting me. Torturing me...raping me." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Sometimes it's you. But I never see your face. You won't let me. But no matter how much I scream, how much I fight, it doesn't help. Nothing helps, but time. Time heals all wounds, to an extent. Things may not get easier, but you learn how to manage them." It was silent between us for a moment. "But I don't blame you. For the things you did. You were innocent. A puppet, used by HYDRA for their sick objectives. And I know you wouldn't have raped me if you had known better. If you weren't being controlled. It doesn't mean things will be better between us, but I just wanted to tell you that things can get better still. Maybe some day."
He didn't say anything, just continued to stare out the window, but I could see the wheels turning. So I laid back down, turning my back to him as I closed my eyes, falling into another nightmare.