Disclaimer: I own nothing except the idea, Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, if there are resemblances to other stories they will either be credited or it is unintentional.

Note: Someone wanted to see the Kakashi vs. Guy spar, you'll see a future spar between the 2, but this one is going to get referenced but never shown. It's a bit of a noddle incident. They were both out of practice.

Thanks for all the reviews sent and any ideas given.

Legend

"What is love"-speech

'Baby don't hurt me'-thought

"I hate bunnies"-bijuu/angry Jinchuuriki/summons

Rasengan - jutsu

[Translation]

(In story author note)

Kakashi wondered if Hiruzen hated this set of genin or something. Anko looked like she was going to jump Sasuke at any moment, Sakura looked like she was going to eat Kiba, although whether it was sexually or actually eat he didn't know, maybe both they could decide how much they drain after all so she could drain, fuck, and leave him alive. Naruto had only used baggies for the last week, the moment there was someone in the way he'd drain them and Sasuke was torn between being nice to Anko who apparently smelled sweet, avoiding her while saying Sakura was bad enough, being around Haku, and messing with his 2 older siblings.

They were all going to be traumatized by the end of this mission. He made a mental note that Sakura and Kiba, and Anko and Sasuke were not allowed to be alone together.

They were all in front of the gate ready to leave, Guy and Lee were doing pushups, Sakura and Kakashi were reading there porn, Asuma was smoking, Kurenia was glaring at Sakura, Naruto and Shikamaru were sleeping, Sasuke and Shino were talking as were Haku and Tenten, Anko was watching Sasuke, while the rest of them were just standing waiting for Kakashi to tell them to leave. All the genin except team 7 were wearing backpacks.

Kakashi sighed; he had to stop reading if he was to make sure they were all prepared. "OK, going in descending order by teams, Anko?"

She took some scrolls off the back of her little coat thing and said "Check I've got , food, water, dango, clothing, and a tent, although if a certain raven haired hottie offered I won't need the tent. I'm ready and willing to go out, follow orders and complete the mission." She winked at Sasuke, smirked at Haku, and bowed slightly to Kakashi.

"Team 10?"

Kurenia went first, shooting one more glare at the red head "I have everything prepared" Sakura interjected, enjoying pissing off the older women "Except the dildo she needs to use, seriously you don't see the other people your age this uptight, it's because they're not virgins, you should try it." Kurenia tried to glare down the red head but Sakura's eyes turned red and that stopped that idea. The other Tasatsu members, including Kurama, just shook their heads, wasn't Naruto supposed to be the trouble maker?

Kakashi "Moving on, meekness, you good?" Hinata jumped, realizing she was being addressed and blushed. "I have everything." She stammered out. Kiba went next, hoping that if everyone else looked at him the red head would stop, he was seriously becoming scared by this point. "Me and Akamaru got everything too." He looked back, nope still staring; he felt a chill go up his spine. Shino decided to interject now, before his teammate got jumped. "I too, am prepared."

Kakashi nodded "Team 9? And Guy, be quite."

Guy still went first, but he did lower the volume "I am fully prepared for 4 weeks without a stop for provision, and my team is as well, I checked." He gave his 'Nice guy pose' and nearly blinded Kakashi.

Blinking away the stars Kakashi continued "Team 8?"

Asuma just said "I'm ready." Shikamaru commented "It's troublesome but my mom made me get everything, Choji and Ino too, so we're all good."

Again Kakashi nodded "I'm almost afraid to ask, so instead, Haku?"

Haku just smiled and said "I am prepared."

He sighed, no more avoiding it "Tasatsu?"

They grinned and when Sakura open her mouth Kakashi intervened "You've got it all? Good. Yes chapter 89 is possible if you can find 2 guys to help you try it. Let's go." Tasatsu collectively pouted at not being able to tease people with their lists.

Kakashi jumped off, and seemed to just expect the others to catch up, after a moment Tasatsu and Haku had but everyone else was still falling over each other trying to figure out when they had left. Well except Kiba who was purposely staying back.

After a few hours of hopping, everyone more or less bunched together and both Sakura and Anko had stopped for now Naruto had a question.

"Kaka-ossan, do we have a plan?"

Kakashi and looked up from his porn and Sakura and Sasuke stopped trying to do triple-back-kick-flips, whatever those were, no one wanted to ask.

"Well Naruto … why do you ask?"

The Tasatsu and Haku sweat dropped at the same time, and Sasuke voiced just about everyone in hearing ranges thoughts, or the whole teams' thoughts "So, no plan." Kakashi just eye smiled like a fool, which most of the people bought, while those present at the bridge, which they found later was named Kirin Bridge, and Guy knew that he could kill them all in an instant.

Naruto finally replied "Well Sasuke has hypnosis, but even though she's a Sannin and they all seem to be dumb-asses I don't think she'd fall for that. She's lived to long to be affected by gen-jutsu, so do we, well you and Guy just beat her up, we'll take her assistant, than we keep them bound and drag them to Konoha?"

Kakashi just hummed, confirming what Naruto said, but also asked "Why do you consider the Sannin 'dumb-asses'?"

Naruto just looked at Kakashi like he was the stupid one. "Kaka-ossan, there dumb-asses, not even particularly strong ones at that.

Jaraiya is a decent spy, except the only reason he's a quarter as good as he is, is because of the toads, and the same goes for his fighting, he writes trashy perverted novels, and he's a failure as a godfather.

Tsunade is supposed to be so great but how do we know? Name another front line combat/med-nin to compare her against. Half her fighting style is her super strength, sure she's amazing at being a med-nin but it took her 35 years with some of the best in the world teaching the 'Senju heir' for her to get that far, her apprentice is 19, almost as good as her, gets less training, and doesn't gamble or drink.

Orochimaru? Don't even bother, he sucks at ken-jutsu, he just has the Kusunagi, he has no real gen-jutsu skills and both tia-jutsu and nin-jutsu are only half way decent because he uses forbidden, unethical technics, and his snake summons. Restrict him to no tools, outside help, or anything considered forbidden and I'll put 100,000 on Anko vs. him in a heartbeat with no doubts."

Sasuke interrupted, "I'd double that bet, and she'd kick his ass seven ways to Sunday within 5 minutes." Anko smiled; happy they seemed to think so much of her, or at least so little of that snake bastard.

Naruto continued "He's not even a good scientist, he just does what no one else is willing to do, and if you do the same thing, mostly the same over and over again, eventually you'll get SOMETHING right, and that's what he's been banking on this whole time.

The team is made of weak, over hyped, dumb-asses with good but arrogant summons. Hell getting Shizune back is way more important than Tsunade; she's blatantly worth more, and better looking."

Everyone kinda looked at him for a moment "What? Tell me I'm wrong." Sakura had a question, perverted as always "Isn't Tsunade supposed to be like one of the most beautiful women in the world? How is her apprentice better looking?" Naruto replied "Have you ever seen a picture of her imouto?" She shook her head.

"She's not that beautiful, she does have one of the ten largest, if not five largest, breast sizes in the world. She's not that good looking; most people just never actually look past her chest. Hell, every girl here is better looking than her, hell Neji looks girlier and prettier than her, and he's a dude. I know our tastes differ but I still think Shizune is like in the top 3 if we look at everyone here, and I'm not saying who because one of you 2 might kill me."

Everyone had been listening with different attitudes to this whole thing.

{Sakura, thinking about porn}

'I've got to try page 92, I wonder if I can get Akamaru away for an hour or so to try it?' Not very focused, is she?

{Sasuke on Anko}

'She's still looking at me, Sakura is bad enough and she doesn't focus on me.' He knows he enjoys it, now if only he could get Haku in to it to.

{Haku on the Sannin}

'Are they really that bad?' At least she's paying attention.

{Kakashi on the whole talk}

'He's not wrong.' Nope.

{Guy on Naruto}

'Pessimistic isn't he, he's correct but still pessimistic.' He's serious, for the moment.

{Neji on him being girly}

'I'm going to kill that blond.' You know it's true. (I thought he was a girl for the first 60 chapters he was in)

{Lee on … youth?}

'If I cannot than I'll run 3 laps over the nations, if I cannot' …

{Tenten on Tsunade}

'She's not that bad … is she?' She is.

{Asuma on cigarettes}

'Every time I light up, one of those three take them and throw them away, they will pay.' Yeah, keep dreaming man.

{Shikamaru on troublesome}

'Troublesome.' Agreed.

{Choji is eating}

Nothing, he's not thinking.

{Ino on the 'beautiful' comment}

'Well I'm one of the beautiful ones, but he better not hit on me, and who's the other?' Delusional fan girl.

(Kurenia on Anko and Sakura}

'Those two, there as bad as men!' Man hater, she needs to get laid, maybe later. ;)

{Hinata on Naruto}

'Naruto.' Single minded much?

{Kiba on scared}

'She has officially started to terrify me, make the scary red-head go away.' No.

{Shino who actually is thinking clearly}

'Interesting, this is not what I have heard about the Sannin, however no one has said anything against it and in its own way it does fit with what I've been told. I am interested in what else this trip will reveal.' He actually thinks, unlike just about everyone else.

{Anko to wrap this up, on Orochimaru and Sasuke}

'Is that true, is that the only reason he's stronger than me? And even that blond kid thinks so, and hottie thinks so too, I'll have to reward him later.' The smirk she made excited AND scared both Sasuke and Haku, why though she wasn't sure but she might enjoy it and both Sasuke and Anko definitely would.

{About 5 hours later at camp}

As camp was set up and everyone but Naruto had a tent set up, he wanted to sleep outside that night, and a fire going where they were cooking up their food. Well most were Tasatsu had drunk something (blood) from a baggie than eaten a rabbit raw each, which had various affects. Sasuke who had been hoping to scare away Anko had instead turned her on even more. Although Kakashi, Guy, Shino, and Haku weren't really affected at all. Tenten was watching Naruto and like Anko was getting turned on and while she'd never had admitted that fact the grin he sent her way told her he knew, and she blushed new shades of red, for her at least. Kiba was watching Sakura and more than anything else he was fascinated, which went noticed by Sakura, but she decided to give the boy a small break and at least wait until everyone was done eating. Everyone else was disturbed and disgusted.

Finally it was Shino that decided to do this simply, "What happened to you 3?"

"Many things/great and small/wouldn't you like/to know them all?"Mass sweat dropping ensued, even with the red eyes. Naruto finally laughed and said "The short version is …"

Howdy y'all dis here is youw wright-are speakin', I hope y'all have enjoyed dis here chaptar, so would ya kindly review and give me some god-sarnit ideas on how Tsunade will be brought in?