Disclaimer: I own nothing except the idea, Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, if there are resemblances to other stories they will either be credited or it is unintentional.

Note: I'm lost with no plan, still trying to think of Tsunade coming back. I'm just going with a straight up Kakashi vs. Tsunade, and random Tasatsu vs. Shizune, and everyone else just being in awe before they find a bandit camp and everyone watches Tasatsu feed. This is not certain though, I'm unsure how to do the first fight good without Kakashi just taking her down from a distance or using another S-rank jutsu like Kirin just to amaze and shock her, and Tasatsu would either be a trick win, flirty, and/or domination.

Thanks for all the reviews sent and any ideas given.

Legend

"What is love"-speech

'Baby don't hurt me'-thought

"I hate bunnies"-bijuu/angry Jinchuuriki/summons

Rasengan - jutsu

[Translation]

(In story author note)

"The short version is … this is none of your business." The smile he gave just screamed 'TROLL' as everyone face faulted. Naruto laughed before actually telling them "Nah, I'm just fuckin' with ya, ya see there was a huge sword, a cool fight, ossan got careless, he was knocked out, we became siblings, bonded to a demon, became 15 year old blood drinkers, all around bad asses, ossan woke up, watched us, had us sign a summoning contract, more training, killed this swords man, Sasuke beat up and got a date with Haku, Sakura was a pervert, ossan liberated a country with a lightning dragon, came back, ossan owned everyone, and then we pissed off the council because it's full of weaklings. Any questions?"

…

…

…

"Nani?" [nani-what]

Naruto tilted his head to the side and got a confused expression "Nani? Everything was perfectly clear to me." Tenten resisted the urge to glomp while shouting kawaii [Glomp-flying hug/tackle _ kawaii-cute] Sasuke backed him up "Made sense to me." Same expression and both Anko and Haku had the same thoughts KAWAII. Sakura just nodded, blood dripping down her chin while Kiba looked on in unbridled fascination.

Shikamaru "Troublesome Tasatsu, is there a clearer way of explaining this?"

The siblings nodded while Kakashi flipped another page, but none of them spoke.

…

…

Moving on Anko decided to speak up on another matter "So hottie, do I need the tent or can I stay in yours." Sakura interrupted before he could speak "You can if Haku can, than 3 people can be happy!" Haku was blushing shades that made Hinata jealous. Naruto started laughing at how speechless Sasuke was before said boy launched himself at his older brother.

As the 2 rolled on the ground they both vied for better shot so there eyes turned red and teeth elongated. Since they did it purposefully the tomeo were clearer showing Naruto had 1 in each eye while Sasuke had 2. Sakura jumped in as well, one tomeo in each.

(1 tomeo-A compact Susanoo 2)Amaterasu flames)

Purple armor began to encircle the 3, due to them rolling over another you couldn't tell details although the eyes were visible and the mouths were free if all the biting was an indication. The first thought Kakashi had, as he always did when they did this was 'They fight like puppies, rolling over one another and biting without any real damage.'

Everyone else kind of watched in fascination as the three continued to roll around like kids while making growling noises that scared most of them.

Finally Kakashi just stood up and grabbed Sasuke and Sakura, knowing Naruto would just throw him away and start it again. "Calm down you three or I'll throw your pillows into the pond before you sleep." The three calmed down and the armor disappeared.

After a moment he let them down, gave them each a cookie and said "Behave." The three just nodded docile and ate their cookies. Everyone else just looked at the three for a moment before Shikamaru decided to move on.

"So, Kakashi-sensei, do you have anything to add?"

…

Kakashi than said "Hm? Did you say something?"

…

Face fault

…

The silence would be broken by Guy "CURSE YOU AND YOU'RE HIP ATTITUDE MY ETERNAL RIVAL! I SHALL BEST YOU OR I AM NOT MIGHT GUY, KONOHA'S GREEN BEAST!"

…

More silence after this proclamation.

…

Kakashi finally turned back to Shikamaru "I'm good, I think they covered everything." Of course Tasatsu had to interject at this junction. All three at once "No."

Sasuke "You forgot where Kiba is now terrified of Aneki and Tenten won't stop looking at Aniki."

Sakura "How Kurenia's denial of getting off has turned her into an uptight sexist bitch."

Naruto "And how Shika and Shino both seem to think that we're just going to tell them things because they ask despite being ninja, thus should be having secrets from one another."

Everyone just kind of looked at the 3, well Tenten was blushing and Kurenia was glaring, but whatever.

Shikamaru looked at them "So that's all you're going to tell us?" The three just started laughing before Sakura lunged and kissed Kiba, causing said boy to fall backwards onto his ass. Sakura than disappeared into her tent and zipped it closed.

Kiba finally came back "What happened?" Akamaru whined and shook his head. His owner was such a moron sometimes.

Naruto supplied "The hot red head with blood all over her teeth and some on her lips and chin just kissed you and disappeared. The reason I bring up the blood is there was blood on your mouth from the contact, but you licked it all up, did it taste good?"

Kiba, not paying attention, nodded. Sasuke just commented "Well it was affective if nothing else, Anko if you try that on me I'll throw you in the river and eat all your dango." Said hebi [snake] pouted.

Naruto patted Anko's shoulder and whispered something to her; she got a smile that sent a thrill of fear in both Sasuke and Haku.

Sasuke glared at Naruto, knowing he had just done something. Than Anko dashed forward like Sakura had just done, but did not kiss Sasuke, but Haku. Anko than reached around, grabbed Sasuke and pulled the 2 around and pushed them into Sasuke's tent and knocked down Haku's tent before disappearing into her own. Naruto was just laughing his head off while Kakashi just sighed and shook his head.

Kakashi proceeded to pick up Naruto, throw him into the tree, disappear into his own tent and said "If any of you come out of your tents or wake me up I'll kill you." There was a slight whimpering from Sasuke's tent, which meant they both had to stay there, although they'd both like it. Anko and Naruto were both laughing, and Sakura's giggling could be heard.

Everyone else just shook it off and went to sleep.

{Next day}

After several hours of hopping they came to a village. A casino village named Boulderfist and they're best bet for finding Tsunade.

They decided to split up into 9 teams of 2 made by Kakashi.

Sasuke and Sakura.

Naruto and Anko.

Haku and Kakashi.

Guy and Neji.

Lee and Tenten.

Kurenia and Kiba.

Ino and Shino.

Hinata and Shikamaru.

Asuma and Choji.

{Ino and Shino}

As they walked away Ino was suddenly struck in the head as Shino leapt forward to avoid the same fate.

He turned around to see 2 Iwa Nin with scratches over their village symbols to symbolize that they were missing-nin. However Shino saw Lee and Tenten not too far away. As long as he could hold them off long enough and not die in the process.

…

To quote his friend Kiba, all or nothing.

{Hinata and Shikamaru}

Hinata was shyly following Shika when they walked by an alley with a bunch of thugs holding some girl down covering her mouth. Shika grabbed Hinata's arm and thought for a second.

"Follow what I say and the only ones hurt will be those brutes." Said Shika, and Hinata nodded, this was why she became a ninja.

{Shizune}

Shizune was outside a shop, after buying something's while her Sensei gambled. She heard something and spun around coming face to face with a pair of red eyes.

"Hello Shizune, you'll be coming with us." Said the Tasatsu showing the poor girl that the only things in their mouth were fangs.

{Tsunade}

Tsunade had finished her gambling and drinking. As she walked out of the bar she felt like someone was watching her and used a quick medical jutsu to sober up.

She knew a trick most ninja liked so she turned 360 and by the time she stood forward there he was. Hatake Kakashi.

He looked as she remembered him to, complete with his little eye-smile.

"What do you want Hatake, I'm not going back." Said the grouchy woman.

Kakashi continued to eye-smile at her "There are something's I've always wanted to do. Star in an Icha-icha film, find and marry a beautiful woman with a temper, survive my 3 little genin, make Konoha prosper, and other things as well. One of those things is teach you spoiled, has been, pathetic, whiny Sannin you're place. I always thought I'd have to kill Orochimaru first, and while I can't kill you."

He moved his left hand up, dropped the Hitai-ate and a plume of smoke appeared behind him with his right hand clasping something.

"I can do what no one else has dared to do to you as a Senju, give you a spanking until you learn to grow up."

The smoke cleared to reveal the Kubikiribocho in his right hand and resting on his shoulder.

He held out the sword and channeled various chakras into the weapon. The edge was covered in wind, the spine in water, the blade became electrified, the holes were filled with highly compressed dirt, and the handle caught aflame.

He suddenly dashed forward before she could respond and the blade headed towards her before she understood he had moved. For the first time in years, Senju Tsunade, one of the 3 Sannin, greatest battle-medic since Hashirama, looked into Kakashi's eyes. One red, glowing angrily at her, the other a pitch black, both promising death.

For the first time since Hanzo, She felt fear.

There would be an omake, but that would spoil some of the sword abilities. Hope you all enjoyed, until next time, read and review.