Chapter 8: Sacrifices

Disclaimer: Maria-sama ga Miteru and its characters are not mine. Credits to the author.

A/N: Italics are for thoughts, events that happened in the past and for this chapter, dreams.

Yumi

Yumi was dreaming. The white fluorescents on the ceiling was casting an eerie glow. She was running down a long deserted hallway with white painted walls, lined with unmarked doors.

She had been running for so long that her legs hurt and her lungs screamed for air, but instead of slowing down, she increased her pace. At the far end was a set of double doors.

As she reached the said doors, she stretched out her hands and pushed them open. And then she stopped. She was now in a dimly lit room. The sudden darkness blinded her. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to dimness of the room. It was then that she noticed a hospital bed at the far corner of the room. She took slow shaky steps towards it, her heartbeat quickening with each step she took. And as she neared it, she saw her. She was still a few feet away, but her legs felt like lead that she couldn't move. Her breath hitched up her throat as her gaze fell on Sachiko's lifeless body. Her arm falling off the side of the bed, blood dripping from her chest down to her fingertips.

Her eyes widened and…

Yumi bolted up. Her heartbeat was thumping loudly in her chest and she was drenched in sweat. She looked around and was not surprised to see that she was still in her hotel room.

She buried her face in her hands, trying to even out her breathing. It was the same nightmare that had awoken her countless times before.

Yumi stood up to fetch a bottle of water from the small fridge, still breathing hard. She clutched the bottle tight in her still trembling hands. She gave herself a good full minute before she shakily opened the bottle and took a long drink.

xxx

It happened when Sachiko was still in her senior year in business school, and Yumi was a third year Architecture student. That day, there was a Board of Director's meeting in the morning and a charity event in the evening where the Ogasawara's were a major donor. Being the major stockholder's granddaughter and heir, Yumi knew Sachiko wasn't able to think of a good excuse to not be present at the said meeting. And being the guest of honor at the charity event, she knew her girlfriend would not able to weasel her way out of the gala despite that day being their Anniversary.

Yumi knew that her lover's schedule was full, but she still decided to ask if Sachiko could at least come see her after the party. It was a cold and rainy November night.

Sachiko asked if they could celebrate the next day instead, saying that she was free the whole day. But Yumi still insisted. "Just for an hour Sachiko. At least I could see your face on our special day."

Sachiko eventually agreed. Saying that she will rush to Yumi's house the moment the event was over.

Yumi was in the sitting room, nonchalantly flipping from one channel to another, looking for something that would distract her for the long hours she had been waiting for Sachiko. The older girl told her that the party will be over by 10pm. Yumi tried calling her an hour after that, but she was not picking up. Thinking that the party extended, which usually happens, she decided to wait a little longer.

After waiting for another hour, Yumi got hold of her phone again and was debating with herself whether or not she should call. She was considering the possibility that Sachiko's parents didn't allow her to go somewhere at that hour, and she just went home with them. But if that were the case, Yumi knew that Sachiko would at least send her a message.

She was restlessly flipping the phone in her hand when it suddenly rang. She saw Suguru-san's name on the screen and answered it.

"Yumi-chan" the anguish in his usually cool voice made her heart beat faster. "It's about Sachiko…"

Suguru-san told her that Sachiko was in a car accident and had just been rushed to the hospital. The downpour earlier made the road slippery and caused a delivery truck to skid. The driver lost control and hit Sachiko's sedan.

Yumi was still in a daze. It was her fault. "How is she?" Yumi forced herself to speak.

"She's still in the operating room and we still haven't heard anything from the doctors."

"Which hospital?" Yumi squared her shoulders and straightened her back, as if her actions could give her enough courage to leave the house and go to her lover.

"You can wait until morning to visit, Yumi-chan. We are also just waiting. I will give you a call as soon as we hear something."

"No. I will go there right now." She said decisively.

It must have been Yumi's firm voice that made Suguru-san agree to give her the name of the Hospital.

After ending the call with Suguru-san, she woke Yuuki up. She told him that she would go to the hospital because Sachiko had been in an accident. Yuuki insisted that he accompanied her. He stubbornly reasoned that it would be dangerous for Yumi to go out alone.

Yumi sent a text message to both their parents about what happened and took a cab to the hospital. She was glad Yuuki was with her, because her head was still in chaos. Yuuki directed the driver after asking Yumi their destination.

When the cab pulled over, Yuuki immediately got out, while Yumi stayed in her seat. Her knees were shaking and she lost the strength to move. She was keeping herself composed, not allowing even a single tear to fall from her eyes. But she was drained.

"Yumi onee-san" her brother rarely calls her that. He gently took hold of her arm and pulled her out of the car. He never let go of her, even as they entered the hospital.

She kept her head high and she kept swallowing down her nervousness. Yuuki momentarily left her to go to the nurse's station to ask where the operating room was. At that moment, Sachiko's grandfather walked up to Yumi. The old man gestured for his body guards to leave them.

"Good evening sir" Yumi said with a shaky voice.

The old man just kept giving her a piercing look.

"Do you know where Sachiko-sama is?" she asked tentatively.

"Do you?" the old man intoned. "Do you have any idea where your selfishness has brought my granddaughter?"

Yumi froze. He knew.

"This is the second time, Fukuzawa Yumi. The first one, you were still in high school and you asked Sachiko to go to the amusement park with you. She lost consciousness. Despite knowing of her condition, and despite the fact that she knew she was not fit to go to those places, she still decided to accompany you."

Yumi cast her eyes to the ground. She can't bring herself to look at the man. He was telling the truth.

"But what happened now is even worse than before. If my granddaughter gets through this, and you better pray that she does, I want you to consider the harm your relationship is doing to her. If word gets out about your relations, she will suffer from discrimination and estrangement from her family. Do you think I will not disown her if she chooses to end her engagement with Suguru?"

Yumi just held her tongue. There was nothing she could say.

"Yumi!" it was her brother. "Oh, good evening sir." He greeted upon seeing the old man. He looked like an older version of Kashiwagi Suguru-san that Yuuki immediately knew who he was.

The old Ogasawara looked at Yuuki in acknowledgment before he turned to leave. "Think about what I said."

"What were you talking about?" her brother asked.

"Nothing important." She said quickly.

"Yumi-chan! Yukichi!" Suguru-san saw them and approached the siblings. Skipping pleasantries, Suguru-san lead them to the waiting area.

Yumi walked slowly behind Yuuki. The recent conversation with the old man was replaying over and over in head, making her want to turn back and leave. If it were not for the worry she felt for Sachiko and the desire to see her safe, she would have already left.

Yumi dragged herself down the hallway, its wall painted white. The bright fluorescents was blinding, making the walls whiter, but it didn't make the weight in her chest lighter.

They were almost at the end of the hall, when Yumi saw Sachiko's family huddled together.

Yumi stopped walking. "This is all my fault" she whispered. She turned to her brother, "I can't do this Yuuki. I can't face them."

"It was an accident Yumi. It was nobody's fault." Yuuki reached out to hold her hand. Giving it a comforting squeeze. "Be brave Yumi. Sachiko needs you."

Yumi looked ahead of her and saw Sayako obaa-sama weeping. Their eyes met and she felt a myriad of emotions come crashing down on her small frame, but the strongest were fear for Sachiko's life and guilt. Yumi shook her hand free from Yuuki's grasp and backed away from him. Her whole body was trembling and not long after, her knees gave out and she was forced to hold on to the wall to keep herself upright.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled before tears poured out of her eyes and she wept like a child.

Sachiko miraculously survived and she thanked Maria-sama every day for it. But Yumi's guilt remained with her. And that is the reason why Yumi was afraid to be selfish again.

xxx

Yumi took another swig from the bottle before she heard her phone ring. She put the empty bottle down and padded back to the bedside table to fetch her phone.

"Did I wake you up?"

Yumi smiled. Kyouya is usually brash and loud, but not with her. She saw the way he talks and interacts with his band mates and immediately realized that it was different when it came to her. He was gentler.

"No it's fine. You're still up?" Yumi replied with a smile. His voice was comforting her bit by bit.

"We just finished jamming. How about you, why are you still awake?"

"I was on the phone with one of my friends from Tokyo. We ended up talking until it was late."

"But you're voice sounded like you just woke up. Either that or you were crying." He worriedly said.

"I fell asleep after hanging up."

"I see" he thoughtfully said and Yumi can picture the smile on Kyouya-san's face. "That friend from Tokyo you were talking about, is her name Ogasawara Sachiko?"

Yumi was taken aback by the question.

"Yumi-san?" Kyouya anxiously asked when she didn't respond.

"No, it was Shimazu Yoshino-san." She immediately said. "Why did you ask about Ogasawara Sachiko?"

"I talked to her earlier, through Kinta-san's phone. She asked where you were staying here in Nara."

"Did you tell her?" Yumi asked nervously and Kyouya-san seemed to have sensed it.

"I didn't have a choice." He said. "Kinta sounded desperate and it felt like I didn't have any other option but to tell her. Then her husband called me a few minutes after - Ogasawara Suguru-san. He told me to inform you that Ogasawara Sachiko-san is on her way to see you."

Yumi walked to look out the window and saw the snow covered streets. Her heart hammered in her chest once again. What is Sachiko thinking? Travelling from Tokyo to Nara in this snowy weather?

"I was about to call you earlier, but the guys suddenly showed up. Ted-san bought a new guitar and couldn't wait to try it out. We played non-stop. I only just remembered it when I saw your scarf. You left it on the couch."

There was a pause and Kyouya added, "I'm sorry for not calling earlier. Should I have relayed the message sooner?"

"No. It's fine Kyouya-san. Is Suguru-san with her?"

"I don't think so. He sounded a little worried, so if I would have to guess, she was alone."

Yumi's nervousness intensified. "What time did he call again?"

"Around 8:00 I think. She should arrive in Nara anytime now. Do you need me there? She's not a stalker, is she?"

"No, it's alright. She is a friend from high school. Anyway, thanks again." She hang up.

She slipped on her robe and strode to the door. She opened it, glanced up and down the corridor, as if expecting to see Sachiko there. She stood there waiting for another minute before deciding that her former lover would not show up any second. She ran back to her room. Yumi moved one of the chairs beside the window and sat down. Her room was on the lower floor and from her window, she can see the front of the hotel. She waited with her heart still pounding against her rib cage and with fear that history would repeat itself.

An hour has passed, but Sachiko was nowhere in sight. It was 2 hours past midnight. It usually takes 5 to 6 hours by car to travel from Tokyo. Yumi was afraid something bad happened to Sachiko again. And like the last time, it would be her fault. She soon decided that she couldn't sit still, not with the anxiety she was feeling. She paced around her room to release her pent up stress, until there was a soft knock on her door.

Sachiko

Sachiko drove for hours. She hated Yumi for rejecting her. Yumi's reason may be valid, saying that she didn't want Sachiko to sacrifice anything just to be with her. But for once, she wanted Yumi to selfishly choose her, despite all the hardships they will surely face once they come out. She wanted Yumi to tell her that the cost of being in a relationship with her was worth the happiness they will surely have when they are in each other's embrace. But she didn't.

When Yumi left her again that day, she wanted to be angry at Yumi. She wished that the anger would help her forget about Yumi and the joy of being with her. But she couldn't. Every time she thought of her, memories of her melodious laugh, her warm brown eyes and her sweet gestures filled her mind. And with it comes the hope that one day they could still be together. Nothing is impossible, a magician once told her. Can she magically make Yumi appear back in her life again?

With these thoughts in mind, she took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

A/N: It took longer for me to finalize this part, where I reveal why Yumi was so afraid to selfishly be with Sachiko. It turned out longer than my original draft.

Now I know some of you are expecting the confrontation to happen in this chapter, but you just have to wait a little longer. Sachiko already knocked on Yumi's door _ and Yumi just needed to walk a few steps to open it.

Anyway, as always, please let me know your thoughts.