Ok Dear Readers. Fifth chapter is here. As always, if you liked it or not, please leave feedback if you can. :) It really helps. Next chapt will come in 3-4 days or less. And yes, this is a Shakarian / Shenko drama too. :) For you who like it steamy, be patient. It'll come.

*hugs*

Have fun!

Chapter 5

'Traynor, what's our status?' asked Major Kaidan Alenko. Without Shepard to command the ship, he was the next in the command line.

'We had to seal off the starboard observatory and the cargo bay. There are no fluctuations in pressure anywhere in the ship. All systems are complying.'

'Joker, what is our e.t.a?'

'I believe we are 50 hours away from the luna base. I'll know better in 6 hours from now when it's time to revise the course.' Joker's voice was dry and matter of fact. Edi's body was still on the bridge. It was a constant reminder that, as far as they knew, they did in fact have a casualty. No one was able to convince Jeff to let them remove it from his right side post.

Kaidan could have called him up on insubordination, but if leaving Edi's hardware body there would help lessen the pilot's grief, then he wouldn't object to it.

Kaidan reluctantly assumed the post as commander of the Normandy and for now, he would do his job. He always did his job, he was a good soldier. Such a good soldier. Good enough to tear down the only meaningful adult relationship he ever had in his life.

oO0~0Oo

His mind took him back to Horizon, roughly one year ago.

The battle was over and the threat was gone, defeated by an unknown rescuer. He ran towards the communications tower and could not believe his eyes. Delan was arguing with the team who rescued what was left of the colony.

'You're in the presence of a legend, Delan. Commander Shepard, Captain of the Normandy. The first human Spectre. Saviour of the Citadel. And a ghost.' Kaidan informed the communications specialist standing there.

'I thought you were dead, Shepard. We all did.' The reports were right. She isthere, and all the feelings he had bottled up in the past two years poured inside him.

Their embrace was tender, full of nostalgia. His soft armour against her hard one, his hands found her curves at their own accord. His body awoke at the touch of their forms and for one blissful moment, they were back together. Her hands were on his back, tight and possessive. Her hair still smelled the same, a fresh green scent he had never been able to identify and had decided that it must have been her own unique scent. Lingering in each other's arms, it seemed like neither would let go until the moment passed and they parted.

'Hello, Kaidan. How've you been?' Shepard trembled in the presence of the man who still had a hold on her heart.

'Is that all you have to say? You show up after two years and just act like nothing happened? Thinking you were dead tore me apart. How could you put me through that?'

'Not my choice. I spent the last two years in some kind of coma while Cerberus rebuilt me.' She smiled at her female companion.

'You're with Cerberus now, Garrus too. And by the look of your companion, I can see the reports were right'. He pointed a look at the beautiful woman who stood at Shepard's side. On her uniform, the undeniable tarnish of the Cerberus logo.

'Reports? You mean you already knew?' Garrus asked, an aggressive ironic tone resonating on his subharmonics.

'There was intell about the incidents. Command stonewalled me but there were rumours you weren't dead, that you were working with the enemy.'

Shepard could not believe what she was hearing. 'Kaidan... The first thing I did after I woke up was find Anderson and ask about you. I tried to contact you through the channel he provided me.'

'I chose to not open those messages, I didn't know it was really you. You turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me.' Kaidan could see the hurt in her eyes, he should just stop speaking. Now!

'I'm not a traitor. Kaidan, you know me. You know I'd only do this for the right reason.' Shepard was so shocked that she was completely lost for words. She felt a cold wave creeping up her chest, her heart was breaking.

'I want to believe you, Shepard. But I don't trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of a Reaper to manipulate you. What if they're behind it? What if they're working with the Collectors?'

At that moment, Garrus felt honour bound to step forward. 'Kaidan, you are being unreasonable. How can you question Shepard's allegiances? I'm there every hour, every bullet by her side, watching her make a difference in this fight. What gives you the right to take high ground and judge? You are acting like a blind arrogant Alliance zealot!'

Kaidan was taken aback. He hadn't realized that he had poured out all his anger on his first time seeing Shepard in two years. It was a miracle that she was back, and he simply did not know how to handle it.

'I don't have to justify myself to you, Lieutenant.' Her voice was glacial. 'If what I'm doing is good enough for Anderson and Hackett, then either you shape up and open your eyes to what is really going on or let me go. I love you. I did love you. But I won't stand here and be questioned by blind arrogance.' Shepard's voice broke a little when she had said she loved him, loved, past tense. That sound still haunted him to this day.

'Goodbye, Lieutenant Alenko.'

Shepard turned her back on him, and all he could hear was her calling Joker to send a shuttle to pick her up. He couldn't believe Garrus and Joker were with her, that she had been in contact with Anderson and Hackett. He was a fool. And just like with Rhana, he had destroyed his heart all over again. She called me Lieutenant Alenko, it took her so long to change that...

oO0~0Oo

Two days passed in a dull blur. Shepard was jarred awake by Liara.

'Shepard! Shepard, wake up! You are destroying the room!'

Opening her eyes and still confused, she tried to talk through a dry throat. 'What? What's... Liara... What happened?'

'You were emitting biotic pulses and crushing everything in the room.'

'What?' Shepard looked around and saw the warped doors of the stainless steel cabinets, the mirror in the bathroom was broken. 'Liara? Are you alright?'

'Yes, I'm ok. Shepard, what happened? Please, I need you to talk to me.'

Shepard averted her eyes. She couldn't face her friend. Leaning forward, she cradled her face in her hands and breathed in. 'I'm sorry Liara, this won't happen again. Just a nightmare.'

'Do you want to talk about it?'

Shepard considered her options. If she said nothing, Liara would get suspicious of her, and if she told the truth then she would lose her friend. She decided somewhere in between, a half-truth.

'Everybody was dead. I fought and punched and gutted, but people still died.'

Death everywhere, and when she finally got to the Conduit, the place that was supposed to make everything right again, she faltered. She could have died to save everyone or kill the entire new synthetic race and have a chance at surviving.

Liara's heart broke when she saw Shepard's haunted eyes. Sitting at the edge of the bed, she opened her arms and held her friend. 'Whatever happened Shepard, it is in the past. We are here; we are alive, and we will overcome it all.'

Shepard remained quiet. Her insides were crumbling down her throat and choking the air out of her.

The day passed. She didn't get up, only ate the bare minimum and slept. She wanted to disappear, go back in time, and undo her selfish decision.

oO0~0Oo

'Shepard! I thought we could spend an afternoon of acquiring material possessions for our associates.' Edi arrived at Shepard's apartment carrying a large box in her hands.

The synthetic gynoid was constructed in all grey metal alloys and, other than her fine womanly human features, she resembled anything but a human. But what mattered were her insides, the AI intelligence residing in that shell.

'Shopping sounds like a great idea. What did you have in mind?'

'There are some websites on the extranet with good variety of goods and acceptable entertainment value. Jeff lent me his credit chit saying "enjoy yourself and have a good time"'

'Okay, what's first?'

Shepard smiled. Edi and Joker really made a great couple. The AI had developed into a real being throughout the last year. They sat down in the living room and spent a whole afternoon shopping for themselves and their companions. They bought a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy for Doctor Chakwaas, and Edi suggested they get a new deck of cards for James since his old one was falling apart.

It was so relaxing, sitting there with a friend and chatting away about life, men and the future. At that moment, Shepard realized what a true AI was. It was life. A life like hers or Garrus', with fears, insecurities and desires.

Looking into Edi's eyes, Shepard knew that she had made the right choice in fighting for the Geth AI and the Quarians to make peace. Both races had stood at the edge of extinction that day. Legion was their saviour. The original AI from the Geth rebellions gave up his 'life' to free the other Geth.

It was almost dark outside, and Edi approached Shepard.

'Ok, now it's your turn. Close your eyes'

'Edi...' Shepard said with a smile. Eyes dutifully closed, she waited for her friend to ask her to open them again.

'Open your eyes.'

Edi had a small black box in her hand. Inside it was what humans would consider an engagement ring. Shepard looked puzzled.

'Ah, are we getting married?'

No, there is a jeweller on the Citadel who produces these. They're made from metals from each Council's home world. Each metal compounds with the last, making the ring stronger. He calls them Victory rings. Due to metal shortages, only a few exist.

'Uhm, just like you. Rare and unique.'

'Are you... valuing me?'

'Edi, you are great, and I'm proud to call you my friend. Thank you for the thoughtful gift.'

'I... I had foreseen several reactions, Shepard, but this one was very low in the rankings.' Edi had a thoughtful pause on her facial expression.

'Edi, you have a friend. Beyond Jeff and the crew of the Normandy.'

'Thank you, Shepard.'

The mechanical form in front of Shepard looked at her and gave a genuine smile. Life was indeed everywhere. All you had to do was open your heart to it.

oO0~0Oo