Things get talked about! This is actually a two part chapter, but I need to go to bed, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow to get part 2.

linzejee: Nope! I couldn't leave ya'll hanging too much.

DarylDixon'sLover: Indeed.

Cassouminette: Yeah, Olivia's not a hero with superpowers. Bucky's on his own.

Guest: Yes, it's happening.

Tiphanie: I had to show a day in the life of Libby and Bucky. She's learning how to defend herself slowly. Picking up on some things.

Farbeyondthegrave: I had to put the plums in there! I couldn't not! They're gonna need lots of prayer.

sallydanz13: Here you go! I couldn't leave you hanging!

jennyrenee: Aww I love you too darling! I'm glad you like the story too! I hope you continue to do so!

Enjoy!

"I know that when you came to get me, you were following orders, but...do you remember anything?"

He was quiet for a moment, looking down at his hands. "I didn't know any better. My handlers...your dad and Rumlow told me about you. I followed your trail, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. All I was told was to bring you back alive. They didn't say anything about what state I had to bring you back in. Rumlow said to roughen you up a bit. That you wouldn't come without a fight, but you weren't any match for me. I didn't think twice about hurting you." I curled in on myself, wrapping my arms around my legs. "I still had some rational thought. To feed you, give you water. But everything else was just blank. I had to get you to the extraction point alive, and take out anyone that tried to stop me. That was all." He swallowed thickly. "They wanted you to break."

It was silent between us for a beat. I could see the guilt, the pain behind his eyes as he stared at his outstretched legs.

"By the end I was so tired of you, I just knocked you out. You were easier to transport that way. God, if I would have known..." He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head.

"But you didn't. You didn't know any better." I cleared my throat, trying to keep my voice from breaking. "You were being controlled. Just following orders. I can't blame you for that."

It was silent for a beat before he started again. "When I brought you back, handed you over to HYDRA, I'd been out of cryo too long. I had started to think again, like what always happened when I went too long without being wiped, or going back into cryo. I had...started to feel. It wasn't much, but it was there. When Rumlow touched you...when your father smacked you...I felt...angry. I didn't want them to hurt you. But they took me away. And when I heard you scream, I fought back. But they wiped me, and I couldn't remember anything. I didn't remember you."

"After they took you away, they had a doctor come look at me. Everything you did."

"What? What did I do?"

I swallowed, looking into his pain filled eyes. "Broken ankle, separated shoulder, broken nose, multiple bruises and cuts, partial blindness in my right eye. I was malnourished, dehydrated. And most of all concussed." He inhaled sharply, his hands closing into fists. "Rumlow questioned me afterwards. Wanted to know what I had read, what I knew about their plan. But I didn't know hardly anything. He beat me around a little before he knocked me out. I woke up back at home in my bed. Nurse Rumlow there to help me. He was so...invasive. I mean, he took good care of me, but he had no shame. He insisted on feeding me himself. He had to help me to the bathroom. He was there all the time. When I got to the point I could move around decently by myself, he got more touchy-feely." I shuddered slightly, the memories fresh in my mind. "Wanted to be close to me. That went on for a few weeks, but then...it happened." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I knew it was coming." I shook my head, looking down at my feet. "I knew...but I didn't think..." I swallowed my tears, wanting to get through it. "I knew it was you from the metal arm. But it was still a shock. But it was worse that Rumlow was there. He made me look at you. See you finally."

"I knew what was going to happen. Rumlow filled me in on that much before hand. He told me that was my mission, and I had to complete it." He was quiet for a moment. "I didn't...if I would have known I wouldn't have..." His inhale was shaky.

"Did you know..." I wiped the tears from my face, looking to my feet nervously. "Did you know that I was a virgin?" I asked slowly and quietly, scared of the reaction I was going to get.

He ran his hand down his face, nearly shaking. He got to his feet, pacing a couple times before his fist collided with the wall, his metal arm whirring as he clenched his fist. I was sure if he was holding anything, it would have shattered into a million pieces. Like I was at that moment.

"I'm going to kill him." James breathed. "I'm going to find him and kill him."

I wrapped my arms tighter around myself, curling up more, wishing I could sink into the couch. "I'm just glad it wasn't Rumlow." I said quietly. "He didn't need those bragging rights."

"I heard it when you called me the Asset. But I didn't stop. I couldn't. I didn't know better. I heard your screams but I couldn't stop. I didn't want to hear them, so I let you bite my fingers. They took me back, wiped me again. I didn't even remember it happening."

"I was so broken." I said after a moment. "I hurt everywhere. I couldn't walk, I had to drag myself to the shower. My dad acted like nothing was wrong. Brought me water and a sandwich. I could barely eat I felt so destroyed." I shook my head, the tears falling freely now. "It was mocking me. Such an innocent sandwich and I wasn't anymore. I was nothing, and it wasn't even over yet." I breathed for a second. "Rumlow came back. He tied me up, touched me. I tried to hit him, fight back, but he just choked me, tried to taunt me, but I already knew what was coming. I felt like I was being torn in half. I tried to look away, but he didn't even grant me that. He told me it was my fault, and I believed him."

"It wasn't your fault." It was so quiet, I almost missed it. "None of it was your fault."

"I passed out for a little bit, but when I came back he was still going. He hit me with his belt, using the metal end. I was cut up, bleeding. Bruised. You name it. He choked me with his belt. I felt so ruined. So dirty. He made me shower with him, cleaning me up. He even changed my sheets." I laughed bitterly. "He stayed with me that night. I woke up sick, my body breaking down from the abuse. I woke up in the morning and he was raping me again. But that time, he touched me, and I couldn't help it. I hated myself for it." I scoffed. "I didn't move for the entire day. He raped me again that night before passing out next to me. I was raw, torn open, bleeding. But there was nothing left...I was just empty. There was no Libby. Just Olivia." I wiped the drying tears from my face. "They gave me a break for a couple days, before they took me back to you. When they made you rape me in front of them."

"I barely remembered that. I was in between wipes, in between missions and they just wanted to play. And so they made me rape you a second time. I thought I didn't feel anything...until I saw you crying. I felt something then...something inside me for a moment. But I knew I couldn't let it show. Not in front of them. So I had to finish, then they just left you, wiped me and I moved on, not remembering what I'd just done."

"I wish I was that lucky." I said quietly. "What I would give not to remember." I sniffed, wiping the tear that fell. "They left me for a long time. A guard came and got me, and they took me somewhere. They didn't let me see. But they fixed me up. Restored my vision, stitched me up inside. No one would tell me anything though. Where I was, why I was there, why they'd fixed me up." I shook my head, sighing. "Getting hurt was becoming so normal. Hurting was becoming normal. They took me to see my father after I was released from there. I saw Steve at SHIELD. In passing." I saw the way he tensed when I said it. "We didn't even say anything. I wanted to, but Rumlow was there, and I was scared. But I had started feeling something again. I had a dream a couple nights later. You were raping me, and those words were cut on my skin. I still don't know what it means-"

He punched the wall again, his breathing getting heavy. He was shaking, his metal hand clenched in a fist.

"James?" I asked, slowly reaching for the knife again. "James..."

He turned around, the look in his eyes dead. "I did this to you. I brought this on you." He whispered, sinking to his knees. "If I hadn't...I could have..." His hands threaded in his hair, tugging harshly at the strands. He looked like he was in pain.

"James." I said, kneeling in front of him. I should have done what he said. I should have run, but I didn't. "James." I said louder, trying to pull his hands from his hair. I bit my lip, not getting any response. I looked to the side, seeing one of his notebooks, a cut out from a magazine sticking out of the top. "Bucky?"

His head snapped up, eyes trained on my face. I slowly coaxed his hands down to his sides, my hands moving to his face.

"It's not your fault. Okay? You're a victim in this as much as I am. More than I am. You didn't have any choice. Like when you killed all those people. You were just following orders. HYDRA is to blame. Rumlow is to blame. He's the one that did this. He's still doing this." I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling the soft strands slide between my fingers. "It's his fault. It's...it's my dad's fault."

It was silent for a while as we stared at each other. I kept running my fingers through his hair, watching as he visibly calmed. Mentally, though, he was still reeling.

His hand reached up, grabbing my wrist, stilling my hand. "Why didn't you run like I told you?" He asked, his eyes on the floor. "I could have hurt you again."

"Because I trust you not to. I don't want to lose the one thing that's keeping me safe."

His face was blank as he looked at me.