Hello Dear readers. Here you go.

Have Fun!

Chapter 15

Getting to Shepard's apartment, they sat down on the living room couch.

'That was a crazy stunt, Shepard.'

'I know. But it worked. We're alive, and you have your things. It's all good.'

'Yeah, if you say so.'

'Kaidan, lighten up. If the balcony had collapsed, the skycar would still be floating in place. All we would have needed to do was to activate its remote manoeuvring and gotten it closer to the doors.'

'Hmm. It was still a big risk, reckless.'

'So, here's the plan now. We can empty out one of the crates, actually move the contents of two of them and stock the pantry. Remove all levo food from it and leave the dextro.'

'You are really not staying?'

'No, I need to go home.'

'I thought this was home.'

'No, this is a stop, a place in between. I like to keep things organized, separate.'

'I get that.'

Another afternoon organizing, each piece of clothing she took from her closet made her calmer. Shepard didn't know why, but she had a desperate need to be in her home, alone, in peace. Images of Edi came to her mind. When her only self manifestation was something akin to a holo-chess piece. She used to make jokes even then.

Shepard cleared her closet, boxing some things and placing them in the corner of her living room. Others she packed to take with her. Kaidan did the same and he was almost done when she, being done herself, sat on the couch next to him.

Kaidan had the box from his bedroom in his hand. It fitted generously in both his hands, it was made of wood and had intricate detailing on its edges.

'What have you got there? It's beautiful.'

'Yeah, it was my mom's. She gave it to me when I was deployed my first time.' He opened the box.

Shepard quietly watched Kaidan's strong and precise fingers sort through pictures and small objects. A tag, a small crystal elephant, a few stones, labels, the box was filled with a plethora of mementos.

'This'. – He held the small elephant – 'Was my grandmother's. My grandfather kept it next to him until his last moments at the hospital, long after nana died.' – The small animal fitted neatly in the middle of his palm.

'It's beautiful.'

'Yes. My grandmother died when she was 30, grandpa was only 35. They had my father and my uncle and grandpa took care of them alone, he never remarried. He used to say that his one chance had come and gone and he would honour her memory by taking care of their kids and family.'

'That is very honourable of him'.

'Yeah, he used to say honour and loyalty defined the Alenko family.' He turned the animal against a stray ray of sunshine peeking in through the glass wall. The piece made small rainbows all over the room.

'I can see that your grandfather was right. I was lucky to have had an Alenko in my team.'

'Well, that's debatable. If I were that honourable and loyal, Horizon wouldn't have happened. You wouldn't have almost shot me while trying to save the council...'

'I know. But we all strive to do our best, to be our best. But there is no perfection. As long as our mistakes don't outweigh the right things we do, we'll be all right.'

'I could never be like you, Shepard. I can be so near sighted. I didn't see the big picture and I let regs and other people's bigotry blind me.' Kaidan looked into her eyes. His expression was sad and remorseful.

'I know.' Shepard looked away, suddenly the dirty skycar parked outside was extremely interesting.

'Joan...'

She looked back at him. 'Kaidan, what happened is in the past. I won't put you in that position again. I respect your limits.'

'Joan, that was a mistake, not a limit.' His eyes were looking intently into hers.

'And I have forgiven you.' She didn't look away this time, but her stance was closed.

'I know.' She had forgiven him, but he had lost her trust, and with it any chance to have her back.

Shepard looked into his hand, and he was now holding a small clear rock. It was the size of his thumb. It shone and refracted any shred of light that hit it. She remembered that rock all too well. She found it on a moon right after clearing out a geth outpost and had given it to him, the same day they had their last moment together, hours before she died. It was a diamond. Probably worth millions.

'You still have it?' Her voice was small. Maybe too small.

'Yes.' - He held it up. – 'Do you remember when you gave me this?'

'Yes... I'm flattered you still have it.' – Shepard moved away from him on the couch. She needed some space between them. Her heart was being flooded with ghost feelings from the past. They clouded her feelings for Garrus. – 'You could have sold it. It's probably worth a fortune.'

'It's worth a lot more than that. I could never part with it.' – His low raspy voice was inebriating.

A not so small part in her swooned at his words. This was a mistake. I cannot let anyone in any more. Shepard stood up. 'I'm going out. We leave tomorrow morning.'

'I'm sorry, Shepard. I didn't mean to...'

'It's all right. I need some fresh air.'

'You don't have to leave.'

'Yes, I do.'

oO0~0Oo

Shepard took off in her skycar. She drove aimlessly, to nowhere in particular until all buildings were gone. She found a small hilltop to park and watched the sunset. Sitting alone in the car's hood she felt she was getting what she deserved. The pain she felt in her chest over her deed dulled in the presence of a new type of pain, of being alone and away from her loved ones. It made her feel empty but oddly at peace.

Edi and Legion's face kept appearing in her mind. When Legion had confessed he still had the Reaper code fragment within him, he was ashamed. The AI was so embarrassed with what he had done. His head low, the optic receiver had an admonished cast to it. Even with a platform made to be utilitarian and not necessarily relatable, she did relate to him then. When he was caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

The sky was orange now. Autumn was almost here and the cold started to creep its tendrils in the wind. The clouds were golden and the treetops looked gilded. The chilled wind rustled the leaves, and they became a golden dance of light and dark, swaying at nature's whim.

I fought for this. I murdered for this. All is safe, but am I worth it?

The little voice that whispered the answer inside her filled her with dread.

oO0~0Oo

Kaidan stayed on the couch looking towards the balcony for a long time. Shepard had left so fast he could almost have swore she was never injured, that she had ditched her cane only this morning. He knew he was pushing his luck, but there was something wrong with her, and he could see it in every move, in every look she gave him.

Something hollowed her out, took away a part of her. I'm afraid of what may happen to her.

oO0~0Oo

Shepard arrived later that day. Kaidan had stowed all his things, and his and Shepard's footlockers were piled near the balcony glass door. She found Kaidan sitting on the couch watching some nonsense late night tv. He looked as if only his body was present in front of her, and his mind was somewhere else.

'Hi, Kaidan'.

Kaidan turned to look at Shepard, his eyes locking in on her. 'Hello, Shepard.'

'Is everything packed?'

'Yes.' He pointed to the stack of boxes behind her.

'All right, we leave tomorrow at oh eight hundred.'

'Shepard...'

'Goodnight, Kaidan.'

'Goodnight, Shepard.'

oO0~0Oo

On the way to Revelstoke, a good 6 hour flight upstate, Shepard reached for the skycar's stereo.

'What are you doing?' – Kaidan's voice held a small note of panic.

'I need music' – She looked at him point blank.

'You do realise I'm trapped here with you, right?' – He tried to contain a laugh.

'I'm not that bad, Kaidan.' – Shepard held some defensiveness in her voice.

'Dogs can hear you from miles away.'

'Well, then you better join in, because I can't dance while driving' – She had a mischievous grin on her face.

Kaidan gave a hearty laugh. - 'Alright, go all out!' - He joined in with his raspy blues voice and for that small pocket of time, all was well. The remainder of the drive was uneventful.

The Orchard was at the edge of the city. It was settled on a vast patch of land filled with trees and a couple of sections of organised patches. From the skycar's perspective high up in the sky, Shepard could see a modest greenhouse to the side of the house. The picture the property presented was breathtaking.

They approached the house. The building was completely in tune with the scenery. The big house was rock and adobe, wide and square, full of paned windows. The size of the building made it look as if in the past it had housed a large family.

'This place has been in my family forever. I think... seven generations... my great great great however many greats father built it back in the 1950s.'

'It's beautiful.' – Her voice was soft with admiration.

'Thanks, it's my parent's. My mom loves to take care of the gardens and the orchard.'

'I can see that she is an artist.'

'Tell her that and you will win 1000 brownie points with her.'

'Ha ha, we'll see.'

They landed near the entrance. The front lawn had a great long gravel path that ended with a parking area near the house. Kaidan got out of the vehicle and before he reached the front door, a woman burst out of the house running down the steps and engulfed, what Shepard thought was her son, with one huge mother's hug.

Shepard stayed back, sitting on the vehicle's driver seat. She witnessed the exchange and panic crept up her spine. That woman looked like a mother bear, and she will probably be as loving with her as she was with her own son.

She was beautiful. She was a little shorter than Kaidan and had wavy black hair down to her mid back, her skin had a golden tan, the type only people who originated from the southern continent were able to have, all set on a beautiful and curvaceous frame. From afar, Shepard could see how mother and son resembled each other, even down to their honey lion eyes.

'My son.'

'Yes, mom, I'm home.'

Is he blushing? - Shepard thought.

'What took you so long?'

'I came as fast as I could, mom, sorry.'

'You better be, the war is over and not a single word from you for weeks. I've been checking my inbox at all hours!'

'I'm sorry, mom. We got stranded for almost 2 weeks with no comms' - Kaidan hung his head low.

'Oh, pff' - She kissed the top of his head – 'You are here, and that's all that matters.'

The mom took a long look of her son. She scanned for visible bruises or scars. He was a bit on the thinner side but she would remedy that in no time. – 'Who is that?' - She pointed at the skycar.

That is my S.O, Commander Shepard. She gave me a ride up here on her way to her place.

Shepard realised she had been noticed and she had no choice but to get out of the car and greet Kaidan's mother.

'Mom, this is Shepard, Joan Shepard. Shepard, this is my mom, Luana Alenko.'

'Hello Mrs Alenko.' - Shepard extended her hand.

'Oh, don't give me that! Come here, Joan.' - the woman embraced Shepard in the same fashion as she did her son.

Shepard never had a problem with physical contact. She has always been open when it came to showing affection, good and bad. That moment was different. The dread boiling up inside her was beginning to choke her. She was unworthy. Bracing herself, she hugged the kind woman back.

'Okay, Mrs… Luana.' - Shepard closed the interaction with a shy smile.

'All right, you need to unpack. You are probably hungry, yes. I'll make a late lunch for the two of you. You can tell me all your adventures later. Come on in, c'mon...' - She gestured as if shooing them inside.

When Shepard entered the house she was welcomed by the coziest, homeliest sight. The interior was beautifully decorated with woods and soft fabrics. The plain soft cream walls were a perfect backdrop for the oak bookcases filled with old paper books, a rarity these days, shelves filled with generation's worth of crystal knickknacks and small curiosities. The living room was spacious and it felt as if it took you back in time, to an era where things were simpler, analogical.

'Make yourself at home, Joan. The food will be ready in 30 minutes or so.'

'Mom, it's all right' – Kaidan chimed in after seeing the look of utter unease on Shepard's face.

Luana Alenko gave her son a look that nixed all his efforts.

'Kaidan, let your mother pamper you.' – Shepard stepped in, ditching her apprehension.

Kaidan looked at Shepard with a bit of a surprise. - 'Alright, I'm not going to stand in her way.'

Luana watched the scene and immediately saw, stamped on her son's face the love he had for that woman and that it was she who broke his heart all those years ago. He denied it but she knew her son. He was devastated for a long time. He was never the same.

'All right, I'm glad we understand each other. I'll be in the kitchen. Take the time and unpack. I'm sure you'll stay for a few days, right, Joan?'

'Mrs Al... Luana, there's no need; I can make it to Bear Lake before midnight if I leave now.'

'Bear Lake! But that is 10 hours away! Absolutely not. You are staying here for at least a couple days. Docinho, honey, go and take yours and her things inside. The guest room is okay to be used.'

'Mrs Luana, I assure you, there's no need.'

'Three days. The more you object, the longer you'll stay. And call me Mrs or Mrs Alenko one more time, and I'll conscript you to help me harvest the rest of the orchard. Are we clear?'

'Yes ma'am... Luana!' - Shepard smiled as she observed the beautiful woman go through a door that looked like it gave way to the kitchen.

'Yeah, that's my mom.'

'I see, Major.'

'She's bossy, but she means well. Kind of like somebody else I know.'

'Oh, really? I wonder who? Docinho...'

'Oh god, you heard that, didn't you?' – Even his ears were red at that moment.

'Yup! Loud and clear, Docinho.' - The smile on her face was hard to contain.

'C'mon, let's unpack our things.'

'We sure will, Docinho...' – She bursted out laughing.

'Shepard!'

Oo0~0Oo

Lunch came, and it was filled with baby stories and tales of Docinho's wild years. From the moment they sat at the table until the last forkful of food, Kaidan was beet red, unable to stop his mother from digging up even the most obscure stories about him.

'And that's how I found him. Butt naked running around the trees.' - The video evidence of Kaidan's childhood shenanigans was up from Luana's omni-tool. – 'Look at how adorable he was when he was little.' – Luana's proud motherly admiration rolled off of her in waves.

'So, Kaidan, I didn't know you were that averse to bathing. There was nothing like that in your personnel files!' – Shepard had been infected by Luana's good spirits.

'Very funny! Yes, back then I was a big believer on saving water.' – Kaidan couldn't hold his smile, even if it was to save his life. Looking at the table, everything was perfect. All that was missing was his father and Shepard as his girlfriend or, even his wife.

The food was fantastic. Luana was Brazilian and if looks didn't tip you in, her cooking made that beyond clear. She served them a simple mix of rice with beans, angú and a juicy steak. Accompanied with something she called farofa and fried bananas. Absolutely delicious.

After lunch, Kaidan took it upon himself to clean up while Shepard and Luana sat in the living room talking.

'You have a beautiful home, Luana. The grounds outside are just as beautiful' - Luana's calm demeanour reminded Shepard of the times she found Kaidan in silent contemplation at the Normandy's observatory. - '

'Thank you, Joan. It is an honour to have you here.'

'Hm? Why do you say that?' – Shepard was confused.

'I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier, but I do recognise you from the videos. Looking like you and with the surname Shepard, it's hard not to connect the dots.'

'Ah. But honestly I didn't do everything by myself. I had Kaidan and a very capable crew and allies helping me along the way, and I wouldn't have been able to do anything without them. It was, if nothing else, a group effort.'

'I know that the media sometimes can paint people in an over exaggerated light, but do not take away the merit of your feats. I believe the whole Galaxy is thankful to you.'

'I appreciate you saying this, Luana. But please, I'm just a soldier.'

'I won't mention this again, but I do appreciate it. I especially appreciate you bringing my son back to me, thank you.' – Luana took Shepard's hand, gave it a light squeeze and then let it go.

'You have a very capable son, he is one of a few, and the Alliance is lucky to have him. I'm proud of having had him on my team.' – The honesty in Shepard's words was palpable.

'How long have you known each other?'

'It's going to be... I believe... 18 months total, not counting the two years I was away, and we sort of lost contact during that period. Have you heard from your husband?'

'So far, only that he's MIA. Anton… Once, he was MIA once, I've been in this place before, if he is alive, he will come home.'

'I understand what you're saying. My family's Alliance, and it never gets easy.'

'Are your parents all right? Have they survived the war?'

'Kind of. My father is well, I met him at the Luna base after my final mission. My mother died when I was 15; we were never close.'

'Militarily service, it runs in the family, doesn't it? Anton's family has a long line of military service, even before the Alliance was created. When Kaidan was born, I knew he would join too.'

'It must have been hard to see him leave, to know that he would risk his life on a daily basis.'

'I didn't have much choice, especially after the eezo accident and the first biotics being found. We had to ship him to BAaT and after that, militarily service seemed like the only option back then.'

'I had kind of the same orientation. It was all new back then and to top the fact I lived in space ships my whole life, when my parents suspected that I was a biotic, they shipped me off for 2 years to a assari mixed military and civilian base for training. After that, my path was pretty much set.'

'Mom, everything is in place.' – Kaidan entered the living room.

'Obrigada, Docinho. Shepard, if you'll excuse me, I have some things to do. Docinho, take good care of our guest.'

'Don't worry, mom, I will.'

'Thank you. It was great talking to you, Luana.'

'Goodbye, Docinho. Shepard.'

Shepard saw Luana leave the room and Kaidan looked like he wanted to talk.

'I'm going to take a walk outside. See you later Kaidan,'

Oo0~0Oo