Thanks to my reviewers, favoriters and followers.
Also, thanks to Bioware for not coming after me because I forgot to say in chapter one that the Mass Effect Universe and its places and characters aren't mine.
A/N Warning: this chapter contains potentially ethically uncomfortable discussions and decisions. More on this at the end of the chapter.
April 29, 2169 - Rm 2172, Huerta Memorial Hospital
Sigren Shepard's Saturday was bad. The next forty-eight hours were so awful that her body chose to skip them entirely. When her body was ready to let her check in with the outside world, Sigren quickly discovered that this particular Monday was going to be equally unpleasant.
The first indication Sigren had that her life had undergone significant change was the utter darkness that greeted her when she came back to consciousness. She knew she was conscious because she could feel the sheets and mattress of a bed under her and hear a regular tone nearby. She could also feel two different people holding each of her hands where they lay on top of the blanket covering her.
The first sign her companions had that she was awake was the sudden tightening of her fingers on realizing that she could see absolutely nothing.
Sigren had always been a little afraid of the dark, often sleeping with a night-light at home when she was little, happy to replace that here on the Citadel with the night-level light on the Presidium where her family's apartment lay.
"Are you awake?" her mother's voice asked quietly.
"Yeah," she groaned. "Why's it dark?"
"Oh, Sigren," her mother sighed. "Always like you to ask the hardest questions first."
There was a short silence while, Sigren suspected, her parents had one of those silent conversations that were so common in their relationship.
"Well, my tough one," her father's voice said, "before we get to that, I want a report on what you remember from Saturday."
From *Saturday?* was Sigren's first thought.
"Um, what day is it now?"
"Monday." Her mother said quietly.
"Oh," Sigren said, shocked. "Where am I?"
"Huerta Memorial."
"What happened?"
"Your report first, cadet," her father reminded her sharply.
"Um, sure." Sigren said hesitatingly. "But I thought you were out in the traverse patrolling some of the colonies?"
"We were, but when a man's daughter is involved in a major incident on the Citadel, his captain sends his XO home for a few days." he said in that voice that told her she'd not win by delaying.
"Well," she said quietly, "I did my morning run and stopped on the presidium to look around for something to do since everyone was either sick or busy."
"Uh huh?" said her father.
"I was sitting on a bench out front of the Consort's place, hoping to see someone interesting there."
"Did you?"
"Not at first," Sigren said quietly. "But then there was some kind of explosion or something and then some fireworks."
"Hmmmm." Her mother said. "And then?"
"I saw this Asari walking toward the Consort's building. She was so gorgeous," Sigren said softly, smiling at the memory of the beautiful sight.
"And," her father said.
"Some Batarians came in an air-taxi and one of them got out. He had a club or something and was headed straight for the Asari."
"And?"
"I tried to flag down C-SEC and sent mother a message on the com but C-SEC was distracted with the explosions and fireworks and all of the people running around."
"So?"
"So I thought I should do something to help the Asari since no-one else seemed to be paying any attention."
"And?"
"I tried to get close by using cover but there just wasn't time."
"So?"
"I charged the Batarian with the club tried a double knife-hand on his neck; broke my right hand and then he grabbed me." She said, now somewhat less sure of what had happened after that.
"Do you remember what happened after that?" her mother asked in as gentle a voice as Sigren could remember hearing from either of her parents for a long time.
"Not really," Sigren said quietly, just flashes.
"Then it becomes time for me to thank you for saving my acolyte from a capture team sent by one of the Batarians' leading warlords." Another feminine-sounding voice said from a little further away.
"Ma'am?"
"I am Sha'ira, Itara, or consort as you would say in your language. My acolyte Sithana owes you her freedom and very likely her life."
"Um," Sigren said, embarrassed that the consort herself had obviously been sitting vigil by her bedside. "I'm glad I could help," she murmured after some thought, knowing she must be blushing horribly.
"You did help me indeed," a soft voice said moments later. "I thank you very sincerely for saving me from a long and terrible fate."
"Like I said, I'm glad I could help," Sigren said, horribly embarrassed that the Asari she had called gorgeous had heard her report to her parents. In fact, she was so embarrassed by being overheard by the woman she had rescued that it took her a moment to realize that everyone was evading telling her why she couldn't see.
"Now, can someone tell me why I can't see anything?"
"The Batarian drove his branding baton into your eyes. The doctors say the electrical charge destroyed your eyes and that some of the shock went down your optic nerves. They say your visual cortex is overloaded. They're afraid it may be permanent. We won't know for several weeks until either the doctors think you're ready for artificial eyes or replacements can be cloned. It will ultimately be your call." Her father said in that emotionless voice that Sigren knew meant he was either very frightened or very angry.
"So I'm going to be permanently blind?" Sigren asked, voice rising in response to a wave of unmitigated terror.
"It's possible," her mother said softly.
"And the best way to test is by putting in new eyes and seeing if they sync up with my brain? "
"That's what the doctors we've seen so far told us," her father said gruffly.
"Commander Shepard, as I was about to tell you before Sigren woke up, Acolyte Sithana believes there may be an option that will assure complete recovery," another business like voice with an accent much like that of her father and grandparents rang out from the foot of Sigren's bed.
"Yes, Dr. Chakwas?"
"Before I speak to that, let me introduce myself to my patient. Sigren, Dear, I'm Karin Chakwas. I'm a military surgeon whom Ambassador Goyle and Counselor Tevos asked to consult on your case. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up; we had an emergency with another patient. With medical coverage for you here I had to take that call."
"I understand, doc." Sigren said quietly. "Now what is the other thing you mentioned?"
"If you will allow me, dr.?" Sithana's voice reentered the conversation.
"Of course, dear; it was your suggestion after all."
"Sigren, "As I think you know, we Asari are able to link minds with other beings."
"I thought that was for having kids?"
"Bonds are needed for reproduction, but there are many other ways we can connect to others' conscious minds. Before I came to learn from Mistress Sha'ira, I was trained on Illium to become a healer, the Asari equivalent of a Human physician. Although injuries like those you took in protecting me are rare, occasionally they do happen. The only 100 percent effective therapy for the condition is to have a healer or sometimes an itara link with the patient for several hours a day to transmit visual impulses that are used, along with drugs like those Humans use in repairing nerve damage, to retrain other parts of the brain to supplement the functions of the visual cortex while it is rehabilitated and new eyes are manufactured or cloned."
Sithana paused for a moment, seemingly collecting her thoughts.
"I have already spoken with Asari physicians here at Huerta Memorial. They say Human brains are similar enough to the Asari central nervous system to make me believe the technique should be helpful to you. They can teach me how to perform the needed link if you and your parents are willing."
"Are there any risks?" Hannah Shepard asked quietly.
"Unfortunately, there are many." Sithana said softly. "As with any therapy that has never been tried in a new species, there is always a chance that this idea won't work. A link of the intensity and duration needed may well give Sigren headaches since the Human brain doesn't perceive colors in the way Asari brains do. If they occur, I can help with these either through getting prescriptions from Dr. Chakwas or mental techniques that I can teach Sigren through our link. Sigren may come to see colors and motion in the way Asari do once her eyes have been replaced but this is hard to predict beforehand since this therapy has never been tried on a Human before."
Sithana drew in a breath before continuing.
"There may be some fairly serious emotional problems for one or both of us after such intensive mental contact. There is still very little published experience of Human-Asari mind links on this level and certainly none with procedures like this. That said, from what I have been able to learn I think this is Sigren's best chance to fully recover not only her sight but also the ability to interpret the images her new eyes will transmit to her brain."
"Emotional problems?" Sigren's father asked sharply.
"We do our best to avoid using this procedure in Asari medicine because the healer and patient often become emotionally interdependent as they literally spend far more time in a close link than bonded couples do, even at the beginning of a bonding. Neither of us will be able to avoid sensing each other's thoughts and feelings. As I am older than Sigren there will be some impact on her psychology due to the closeness of the connection between two individuals at different states of maturity for our species."
Sithana paused briefly, seemingly deciding how to continue.
"The healer can become too emotionally involved in the patient's welfare and there have been cases in the past that resulted in long-term pairings between healers using this technique and their patients. Furthermore, deep links to Asari at comparable levels of maturity to Sigren are almost unknown today because of the problems they caused long ago. I will try to avoid connecting too deeply but Sigren is a powerful spirit and I can't guarantee this won't happen, particularly given my thankfulness to her for saving me."
"Could we ask another healer or consort?"
"My mistress has been doing just that and so far none is willing. I, too, have sent out inquiries but so far no one is willing."
"And if we don't try this procedure?"
"Sigren will either be blind for the rest of her life or, in all likelihoods, not have normal use of whatever sight she may recover." Chakwas said gently. "Because of our success in treating blindness today, it is very likely that Sigren may have trouble being independent due to the lack of adaptive technology specifically for the blind today. Even if she is, it is very likely that many career paths will be closed to her and others will be far harder for her to break into. We just don't have enough people with incurable blindness now so technology she would need in order to be self-sufficient would literally have to be created. Unless we are very skilled in developing those tools, Sigren's physical state will be apparent to anyone who sees her. Furthermore, even if she does recover most of her sight, I can't guarantee she'll regain enough of it to join the SA military which I understand has been her goal for quite some time?"
Sigren nodded and assumed her parents did too. After a moment, Chakwas continued speaking.
"…Loss of sight caused by damage to the visual cortex is rare—as is blindness of any kind. We normally don't see problems like Sigren's. When we do they are usually caused by a very specific type of stroke. We are usually able to help through more traditional visual exposure and neural regeneration therapy, but both require that the patient have eyes that work, at least a little bit. As things stand, there are only two or three cases a year like Sigren's out of the millions of potential incidents in our population. We have excellent procedures to repair the kinds of ocular damage that soldiers take but this usually doesn't impact brain function. Age related vision issues that frequently had neurological complications were mostly either preventable or curable by the late twenty-first century, but Sigren's symptoms don't have all of the same causal factors and neurological indicators that strokes or age-related vision problems had in the past. Given the damage to her eyes and injury to her brain, I would normally be very concerned about Sigren's ability to be physically and financially independent but this treatment may be a game changer for her. We're still learning about Asari medicine and if Sithana thinks this technique will work I think we should take her ideas very seriously."
"Even with the risks she mentioned?" asked Sigren's father, in an unusually cool voice.
"Yes, even so." Chakwas replied flatly. "Emotional issues are treatable with psychological assistance; Sigren's blindness or diminished sight will almost certainly affect her life in ways we can't easily ameliorate."
"You saved me from a fate few would wish on their worst enemies," Sithana said quietly, long, slender fingers touching Sigren's face for the first time. "This won't be easy for either of us but it is your best chance for a full recovery. I will joyfully dedicate myself to your assistance however long this takes because I have no other way to thank you for saving me from what we believe was a kidnapping attempt that would probably have led to several hundred years of pain and torture."
"OK, "Sigren said quietly, embarrassed by Sithana's gratitude and also by the thought of letting someone into her brain so much. The need for a full-time caregiver for the rest of the school year and maybe a lot longer was also uncomfortable. Other questions started crowding in as well. "How long will all of this take? And how bad could the headaches be?"
"As I understand things, cloning new eyes and so-forth will take quite some time. It will take longer for the newly grown cells and tissues to get used to doing their jobs. Is that right, Dr. Chakwas?"
"It is," Chakwas confirmed.
After a moment, Sithana continued to speak.
"If we go through with this treatment, we will need to be in mental contact at least half of your waking day for the entire time your new eyes are being grown and fairly frequently for some time while they get used to doing their jobs. I will monitor your pain through our connection. If it becomes too bad I will either work with Dr. Chakwas to prescribe appropriate medications or assist you with meditation and other techniques that Asari commandos use to control their pain when they must."
"So you'd have to go to school with me and run with me for pt and stuff?"
"I don't know enough about your schools and your lifestyle but I would probably have to be with you for most of the things you normally do during your waking day. What do you think Dr. Chakwas?"
"I would think you'll have to go with her to school and assist her with whatever other activities you can as well. After all, she will need help functioning at home too. As you said, you'll be spending a lot of time together and I'll want daily assessments of Sigren's physiological and psychological state."
"Of course, Dr."
"Then, Sigren, I think you need to make the decision." her mother said.
"Can we discuss this briefly amongst ourselves? Her father asked sharply.
"Of course," said Dr. Chakwas before the sound of several people moving out of the room came to Sigren's ears. When the other people in the room had departed her father spoke first.
"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this treatment."
"Why not, John?" demanded Hannah Shepard.
"Sigren is going to be in close mind contact with someone who is only about two steps above a camp follower. What is she going to get from that woman?"
"Hopefully the chance to see," Sigren's mother said sharply. "Would I rather that someone else could do this? Yes. Am I uncomfortable with the obvious risks to Sigren and, for that matter, Sithana that this treatment poses? Absolutely, but I don't see we have a lot of other choices. Dr. Chakwas says all of the other treatments may lead to Sigren losing some or all of her sight and possibly being blind. She's wanted to go into the military ever since she understood what we do. If this treatment will allow her to keep that dream then I think we have to try it."
"There are other careers, other things she could do in the civil service."
"Mother, Father, as I'm fifteen years old and almost ready to test for my driver's permit, maybe I should have some input on this?" Sigren interrupted angrily.
"I think that would be appropriate," her mother said at the same time her father drew in a breath.
"I always wanted to go into the Marines. I like being active, the training and everything else I've been doing for years. If Dr. Chakwas is right, there's a really good chance I won't be able to do those things. I may not even be able to hold a lot of other jobs either because I can't do them or people won't let me try. The thought of being connected to an Asari's mind like that is pretty scary, but Sithana seems like a nice lady. She was a doctor before she started working with Consort Sha'ira so she's smart and probably not some hooker on Tenth Street in Vancouver. Also, she seems to think she has some kind of debt to me and so I don't think she's going to hurt me if she can help it."
"She may not hurt you intentionally, but there are a lot of things in that head of hers that I'm not ready for you to be exposed to yet."
"Like what?"
"Do I really need to spell it out for you?"
"I'm fifteen, not five. "Sigren said petulantly. "I've been hearing about sex and stuff from the embassy guards and my trainers ever since we came here last fall. Even without them, there's the Extranet and kids at school. Trust me; I know as much about sex as anyone who hasn't had it yet can."
"There's a big difference between seeing whatever you've seen and being directly exposed to another person's memories of sex as you would be in a link with that Asari."
"Every link with every Asari Humans have met up to now would have included memories like that if Asari couldn't control their minds better than you are implying." Hannah Shepard said sharply.
"Maybe so," John replied equally determined. "But how many of those links were with handpicked representatives?"
"A lot at first but there are already many registered marriages between Humans and Asari. None of the Humans who have been interviewed about those relationships have ever said that they get floods of uncensored memories of their partner's sex with Elcor."
"All right," John sighed. "I can see that I'm outvoted here, but I do want the fact that I'm uncomfortable with all of this to be on the record."
"So am I," Hannah said more gently. "But just because I'm uncomfortable with it doesn't mean that I don't think that this is the best of a bunch of bad choices. If worse comes to worst and they do end up making a bonding of some kind, we just have to remember that this isn't much worse than the arranged marriages that some Earth cultures still engage in. In some ways its better because we know Sithana feels deeply indebted to Sigren. Not only that but I'll be here watching very closely as things progress. So will Karin and the ambassador, and lots of other SA people."
"OK," sighed Cmdr. Shepard. "I'm still not happy with it but, Sigren, you are right. You are old enough to have the deciding vote here."
"Since it's the only way for me to get back to ship-shape and hopefully join the Marines, let's go for it."
A/N: Discussions like that which the Shepards had already happen in medicine all the time. They will become infinitely more common over the next few years. Eighty percent of people who are blind are unemployed as of today's posting. I know many blind people who would go far to change it if they could, particularly if the loss of sight is due to traumatic injury and so harder to "adjust" to. If you are uncomfortable with the topics in this chapter, that is a good thing. If you don't like the decisions taken, that is your choice but many people would choose differently and given the option to do so, many would argue they have the right to do this much as you have the right not to like their choices.