(The Head in the Abutment)
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Booth had thought it was strange. Daryl Patterson, one of their suspects in the murder of Seth Lange had known Booth the minute he'd seen him. It had taken Booth a reminder from Patterson why they should know each other. Patterson had been the goalie when Booth had taken his penalty shot during the state championships in high school.
Booth hadn't thought about it in years. It was just a blip in his past, but Patterson still lived that moment. How the equipment manager remembered that moment in time was wrong too, which didn't bother Booth because his team had won, but still, why Patterson thought he'd swiped the puck away before it crossed the line when that didn't happen was more than a little delusional as far as Booth was concerned.
He'd made the shot, it went in and life went on for him, but not for Daryl Patterson.
It was times like that that Booth still wished Sweets was around. He liked to know why people did the things they did. That's why he was a pretty good investigator, but sometimes people puzzled him and he couldn't quite figure out why they thought the way they thought.
The past was the past and Booth tried not to live there. He knew that was hard to do, but his past had so many bad moments and he didn't wish to relive any of them. It puzzled him why other's chose a moment in time and stayed there, never moving forward, never growing from the experience.
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Sometimes we're forced to relive a moment. Daryl was a thorn in his side and he wanted a shootout between them. Booth thought that would be a good way to rid Patterson of his delusions and let go of the past, but standing in front of the man, ready to hit the puck in to the net, it dawned on him that some people live in the past because their lives aren't what they thought it would be.
The small crowd in front of Booth was cheering for Patterson and Booth knew that the man standing before him had a lot riding on this moment in time. He wanted to prove to his family and friends that he was good at something and that he'd been wronged in the past.
Booth had nothing riding on this shot and his family didn't need proof that he was good at anything. His wife and partner was standing on the side line cheering him on because that's what she did. She would be proud of him whether he hit the net or not. It didn't matter to her so it didn't matter to him.
He took aim and his shot was deflected. That miss vindicated Patterson in the eyes of his family. Booth saw the relief in the man's eyes and the pride he now had that he was good at something and no one could deny it.
Booth hoped Patterson used that vindication wisely and moved away from the past.
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Over the years, Brennan had got into the habit of telling Booth that he was a good man because he didn't really believe it and he needed to hear it from someone. She had seen the pain he was in when he talked about certain things in his past and that made her sad for him.
His childhood had been miserable and tragic. Booth had one really good memory about his father and that was a week of sobriety and a baseball game. When it came time to get married, Brennan had insisted that they be married on Booth's perfect day so that day would have a happy meaning not just a sad meaning. While in the Army and working for the FBI, Booth had taken over 50 lives, but she also knew that he'd saved just as many if not more lives. His father had been a horrible excuse for a human being with little compassion for his own family and yet Booth was a wonderful father. He was kind to his children and never raised his hand in anger towards them.
The past is the past and Booth had come to realize that living there only brought misery. After the things they had been through, he chose not to live in the past anymore and with his encouragement, Brennan had let go of most of her painful past too.
They had both realized over time that letting the past haunt them only kept them from happiness. That had been a hard fought lesson and it had taken them a long time to learn it, but they had. Not everyone learns that lesson.
She knew that he let Patterson block that shot and she knew why he did it. Booth wanted to fix Patterson like he does everyone else that is broken that he meets. He once mentioned that they were the land of misfit toys. She'd had to look that up, but when she did she saw the truth in his statement. She, Booth, Lance Sweets and many of the people they knew had been broken in some way and yet they survived and even thrived. No life was perfect and everyone had a scar or two to prove it. Some scars were small and almost invisible and some are big and terrible to see. Booth knew that and he tried to help when he could. Brennan loved him for that. She loved his big heart.
Her husband was a secure alpha male. He didn't have to prove his alpha position because he knew his place in the world. If missing a shot that meant nothing to him helped someone else then that is what he would do. She was proud of her man. He was hers and he always would be. No life was perfect, but sometimes she felt like her present life was perfect and it was because she loved someone that loved her so much.
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