Aloha my lovelies! First, I would like to apologize for how long it took me to post the last chapter. I've been crazy busy, but I shall attempt to post at least 3 times a week. I would like to give a huge, giant, major shoutout to Croke. You are awesome. Seriously, I love you. Your reviews mean so much to me. To be honest, I never really have a set plan for my stories. I develop the plot as I write it, and I feed off of my readers for inspiration and ideas. I will try very hard to make the chapters longer. By the end of this weekend I'll try for 2000 words or more instead of only 1000+. Also a shout out to T64t! Thank you for always taking the time to review and leave kind remarks. You're awesome. Anywho, I will let you get back to the story. Smooches!
Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent. If I did, I wouldn't be working a job that barely pays above minimum wage...I'd be far away from here on the beach with a fruity drink. My name would also be Veronica Roth, which it isn't.
Just a word of warning, this chapter is a little graphic, possibly even disturbing for the faint of heart.
Tris
The rest of the afternoon, Christina and I spent talking about things like shopping and make up. I really hated the topic, but it seemed to take her mind off of Uriah, and after all that she's done for me that's the least I could do. I took my time walking back to the apartment. It's not that I don't want to go and spend time with Tobias, I just feel like something's been different between us since I've been here. I feel like he's hiding something, but I don't know what it could be. The churning in my stomach tells me it's something big, but I don't have proof of that. I can't just walk in and accuse him of something that I have no proof of, especially after we promised to always be honest with each other. He would think that I don't trust him. But do I trust him? If I had to guess what it is that he's hiding, I'd say it involves Nita. There is something weird going on with the two of them, but I haven't been here long enough to figure it out. Whatever it was, or is, it has to be a secret between the two of them. Tobias would never let anyone else know because if he did, it would get back to me.
I slide my key into the lock on our apartment. I turn it leisurely and then stroll inside, locking it behind me. Sometimes I feel like hiding behind a locked door is like being imprisoned. In Abnegation, we never locked the doors. We never had to. Here in Dauntless, especially since the war, we have to. And while it feels like I'm being kept prisoner, I don't know that I could sleep any other way.
I walk through the compound slowly, enjoying the calm around me. There's no one walking in the halls around me and all is silent. As I approach the chasm, I can hear the roaring waters. Just as it comes into sight, someone grabs me. They place their hand over my mouth and try to shove me towards the chasm. I fight back, but they're too strong. As they push me to the edge, I see Al's body at the bottom. Hanging from the ledge by a rope is Will. My parents are hanging there, their fingers digging into the rock. Their nails are bloody and they scream in agony. I look to my right, and I see Marlene and Lynn both jump over the edge. The person turns me around, getting ready to throw me over the edge, and I see that it's Peter. He has that smug smile on his face. Just behind him, I see Nita run up to Tobias and kiss him. He doesn't pull away, doesn't fight her. He wraps his arms around her just as I fall over the edge.
I wake in a cold sweat, my breathing heavy. I look around me and I see nothing but darkness. I reach out beside me and I feel Tobias. I retract my hand before I wake him. I haven't had a nightmare since the war ended. I spent night after night in the hospital, and didn't have a single bad dream. I feel dazed as I search the darkness for the clock. The bright red letters read 3:27. I sigh quietly and lay my head back down on my pillow. I hesitantly close my eyes, silently hoping that I won't have another nightmare.
I open my eyes slowly. I'm staring at the ceiling. I look over and see Tobias laying beside me, still asleep. The clock reads 7:02. I sit up slowly and try to slide out of bed without disturbing Tobias. As I plant my feet on the ground, I hear a sound come from the bathroom. It's a strange sound, almost like that of water sloshing. I walk towards the door and peek around the corner cautiously. I don't see anyone, but I hear the noise again. I inch into the room and stop in my tracks. There is blood pooled outside of the bathtub, and in it lies my mother's body, her wrists torn open, the blade still in her hand. All of the water is red with blood and it sways as if someone was stirring it with their finger. I shriek in terror, and feel a rope being wrapped around my neck. It tightens and I see Peter in the mirror tugging it and tying it in a knot. He pulls me and ties the rope around the shower curtain rod and I hang there, my body limp, my mind screaming but my voice silent. The light starts to fade from the room, and just before it does, I see Tobias laying in the bathroom floor, a dagger sticking out from his back.
"Tris! Tris! TRIS!" Tobias is screaming.
My eyes shoot open and I sit straight up. I realize I haven't been breathing and I take a deep breath in and let it out, before I begin to hyperventilate.
"Tris, what's wrong?" Tobias asks, trying to get my attention.
"You...and I...and they...and Peter," I stumble, my words choppy and nearly inaudible.
"It's okay," he's says, rubbing my shoulder, "I'm here, Tris."
I throw myself into his arms and close my eyes tightly. I concentrate on the beat of his heart, the steady rhythm that has always been there to soothe me. His breathing slowly starts to steady mine, and loose tears flood from my eyes as quickly and fierce as the waves of the chasm. He runs his fingers through my hair and shushes me softly. When he feels that I have finally calmed down, he tilts my chin up and looks into my eyes.
"My dear Tris," he pauses, "what is the matter?"
"I just had some nightmares," I answer quietly, my eyes quickly shooting from his to the floor.
"Hey, it's okay," he says directing my eyes back to his. "What happened?"
"It's hard to explain," I lie.
It's not hard to explain. Explaining what happened is really easy. I killed them. What's hard is saying it out loud. What's hard is living with myself. What's hard is knowing that I'm still alive, even though I shouldn't be, and they're not, even though they should be/ None of them deserved to die. But me? I did deserve it.
"Tris, were these nightmares anything like the ones you used to have?" he asks softly.
I nod my head slowly, unsure of whether or not I want to answer him truthfully.
"Beatrice Prior," he says rather seriously, "I command you to stop blaming yourself for everything that happened. It wasn't your fault. None of it was your fault. The people that are to blame, they paid for what they did. They paid dearly. And you, my dear, have had more than your fair share of suffering and misery."
I open my mouth to speak, but he interrupts me.
"I love you, Tris. And I know it's hard for you. But it's hard for me, too. It's hard to watch you be in so much pain. It's hard to know that if some of those people didn't die, you would have. That is what haunts me."
"Tobias," I say just above a whisper. "You're not going to lose me."
"I can't lose you," he whispers, his voice hardly audible. "I'm sorry, Tris, but I don't care what happens as long as you're safe."
He leans in and presses his lips to mine slowly. I inhale sharply and he pulls me closer to him, his arms snaking around my waist. He pulls away for a quick breath before his lips crash into mine again. He holds me so tight I can feel his heart pounding in his chest, the blood pulsing through his veins. He's warm.
We pull away after a while and catch our breath, our foreheads resting against each other, his eyes staring into mine.
"Tobias."
"Hmm?" He hums, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Don't ever call me Beatrice again," I smirk.
"Deal," he laughs.
"I have to go," I say quietly, instantly regretting it. "I have to check on Christina."
"Yeah," he nods slowly. "I should probably do a little work today."
"So I'll see you at lunch?" I ask hopefully.
"I'll see you at lunch," he smiles before pulling some pants and a shirt on.
He leaves to go to work and I get ready to go see Christina. I'm sure she didn't sleep well. I leisurely walk to her apartment, trying to think of things to say to her. When Tobias and I were on the verge of breaking up, I can't honestly say that either one of us really wanted to. With Chris and Uriah, it's obvious that she didn't want to, but Uriah must have. How do you cope with knowing that someone that you care about no longer cares about you?
I knock lightly on her door and I hear her mumble something before she opens it. There are dark rings under her eyes, and they're bloodshot. Her cheeks are puffy and her hair is matted.
"Did you hear about the party at Zeke's tonight?" She sniffles.
"No," I shake my head.
"Of course he's going to be there. I don't want to see him. I do want to see him, but he doesn't want to see me. And look at me. Look at me, Tris! I look awful!"
Fresh tears begin to fall from her eyes and she turns to wipe them away.
"Christina," I say firmly. "You are going to go to that party tonight and you are going to look so amazing that Uriah is going to be absolutely blown away and unable to control himself. You are going to make him regret what he's done, but you're going to show him that you are just fine without him."
"How?" She chokes out.
"I am going to help you."
"How?" She repeats.
"Now I am offended," I joke. "I did learn from the best, didn't I? You're gonna knock him dead, girl."
I take her into the bathroom and I pull out one of the goopy masks that she's used on me before and I spread it onto her face. As we wait for it to harden, I grab two bottles of water and some nail polish. I paint her fingernails, wash the mask off, and then paint her toenails. I rub some other goopy stuff onto her face like she always does to mine and she laughs a little bit.
"Who would have guessed that Tris Prior, former Abnegation Stiff, would be in Dauntless focusing on vanity and partying?"
"Who would have guessed that a Candor Smartmouth would mKe it through initiation with Four as her instructor and still be a Candor Smartmouth?" I tease.
"I guess it's in my blood," she laughs a little, before breaking into full on hysteria.
I shake my head at her and wipe the other goopy stuff off, preparing myself to make Chris look as amazing as she makes me look.
I would just like to mention that there is some foreshadowing in this chapter, so pay close attention. ;) Please review everyone!