Previously on Participant:
"What's happening?" Peeta asks the nearest person.
"Someone got caught slipping under the fence," the man whispers back.
My heart pounds in my chest. That could've been me, and if it hadn't been for Peeta's distraction and Gale's warning, it probably would've been.
When the post is secure, Captain Miner motions for Darius and Purnia to fetch the lawbreaker.
I'm unable to keep myself from gasping when finally I see who it is.
Beside me, Gale whispers, "Madge. Damn it, Madge. Just what were you doing out there?"
oOo
Participant
By FanficAllergy
oOo
Chapter Six
oOo
I clutch at Peeta's arm, my body trembling in shock and worry. I can't believe Madge, of all people, is about to be whipped.
Even though I can tell she's been crying, Madge stands in front of the whipping post, her head unbowed. She shivers in her flannel shirt, her winter coat draped over the arm of another Peacekeeper. I wonder if I would have the same composure if I were standing in her place.
Somehow I don't think I would.
Captain Miner flicks some kind of square box on her waist. She clears her throat experimentally, her voice echoing through the town square. "Citizens of District Twelve, you have experienced the Capitol's generosity this year," she begins, her tone as solemn as her words. "Now one of your own is about to experience the Capitol's wrath." She motions grandly to my friend. "Madge Undersee, age seventeen, apprehended attempting to breach the defenses surrounding this district. A most severe offense. One I cannot ignore."
"Captain Miner, I'm certain there's some reasonable explanation," the Mayor tries. His hands are shaking violently. I doubt it's from the cold. I empathize with the man. I'd want to do something, anything, to protect my child.
"As I'm certain you are aware, Orville, actions, not words, carry more weight."
Gale stiffens next to me.
I don't have time to ponder why because Miner continues, "I understand she is your daughter, and as a parent myself I admire your willingness to stand up for your misbehaving child." Her tone is mild but her eyes are hard. "However, as Head Peacekeeper of this district, I cannot afford to make exceptions on the grounds of age or family status. Madge Undersee will receive the standard punishment for a first transgression."
Beside me, Gale draws in a deep breath.
"What is it?" I whisper.
He shakes his head. "You'll find out."
The Head Peacekeeper turns to the Peacekeepers flanking Madge. "Please secure the prisoner to the post."
Darius takes hold of Madge's upper arm, murmuring something into the blond girl's ear.
Madge nods, then takes one shaky step forward and then another until she's standing in front of the whipping post.
The red-haired Peacekeeper nods his head in approval. He must have advised her not to struggle. I'm glad Madge took his advice. I don't think being dragged kicking and screaming would make her punishment any easier. And it might incur even more infractions, stupid things like resisting arrest or interfering with a Capitol representative which would add to her punishment.
Once Madge is secure, Miner walks up and stands next to her, lowering her voice so only those closest can hear, "Would you prefer to keep your shirt on or off?"
"Which - which is better?"
"I'd recommend off. You don't want to get the fabric caught in the wounds," Miner explains. "It could lead to infection."
Madge lets out a low moan.
"Your decision?" Miner's voice is both soft and unyielding.
Glancing around the square, Madge's eyes find us. They're pleading and I get the impression that she's trying to tell us something, but I have no idea what. Finally, she licks her lips and says, "Off."
Darius steps forward, a pair of scissors in his hands. He slits Madge's blouse down the back, leaving it closed in front to provide her with some form of modesty and warmth in the chill winter air. It's a kindness I didn't expect from the Peacekeepers.
"Commander Gneiss, are you ready?"
The woman nods, pulling out a plastic bag with a black leather whip sealed inside it. Carefully, she unwraps and unfurls it. The lash is about three feet long with several dangling braided cords with little knots on the ends. Gneiss swings it experimentally, trying to get a feel for the instrument. When she's done, she nods her head.
Captain Miner turns back to the crowd. "The punishment for a first attempt to bypass the district's perimeters is twenty lashes." She regards the bound girl. "Do you, Madge Undersee, understand your crime?"
"I- I- I do." I don't know if Madge's stutter is from the cold or from fear.
"Do you have anything to say in your defense?" Miner presses. "Any mitigating circumstances we should be aware of? Pregnancy, illness, or other medical condition which might postpone or otherwise prevent your punishment?"
"...No."
With a jerk of her head, Miner turns to Gneiss. "Alright, Commander, you may proceed."
The woman takes a deep breath and strikes.
The sound of leather meeting flesh is horrific.
But not quite as horrific as the scream of pain Madge lets out.
Clinging to my husband, I wish I was somewhere else. Anywhere else. I scan my surroundings, trying to figure out how to get away.
There! There's an opening in the crowd.
I reach down to take Peeta's hand to lead us away.
Something stops me.
Madge's tear-filled blue eyes meet mine. I see the pleading in their depths. To do something. Anything. I shake my head, pushing back my own tears. There's nothing I can do to stop this torture. But I can stay here for my friend.
With each stroke of the whip, Gale tenses beside me. I can hear him keeping count under his breath, murmuring encouraging things to the girl on the post. I concentrate on his litany. He's begging, pleading, for Madge to have strength. For him to have strength. For the whipping to be over soon.
It almost sounds like a prayer. Something just as illegal as poaching or theft.
I hope no one overhears my best friend.
On the seventh swing, the whip draws blood.
I can't watch anymore.
I turn my head to see Peeta's jaw clenched. He's angry, and I can tell from the set of his shoulders that he's about to step in and do something. Say something. Make a speech. Condemn the Capitol.
He can't.
Snow will punish him.
Will punish Prim or Willow.
I clutch his hand tighter, willing him to look at me. He does. When his eyes meet mine, I shake my head slowly. This isn't that bad. Even Cray was worse when forced to administer punishment. I'm sure Snow's just waiting for Peeta to make another mistake like he did in Five. I can't allow that. Not when we both have so much to lose.
After the tenth stroke, Miner raises one hand. Gneiss pauses, holding the whip so none of the tails touch the ground.
Darius steps forward with a bottle of water. "Take a few sips," he encourages. "The next ten are gonna be harder."
I wonder how he knows.
Madge does what he says. "Th-thank you."
He doesn't acknowledge her thanks.
I look around the crowd, noting that several people have slipped away. "Someone should get my mom," I murmur.
Gale's eyes flick towards me. "That's a good idea, Catnip," he says in a low tone. "You should go."
I shake my head, remembering Madge's pleading eyes. "I can't. Madge is my friend." My only friend here in Twelve other than Peeta and Gale.
"I'll go," Peeta offers. "Your mom's gonna have her hands full and she doesn't need Willow there distracting her."
He's got a point.
Gale looks over my head to my husband. "You should stop by the Mayor's house on the way back. Get morphling from Mrs. Undersee. I don't know if Mrs. Everdeen's got any, but I'm pretty sure Madge is gonna need it more than her mother does."
Peeta nods his head and hurries off.
"He's a good man," Gale tells me. His eyes bore into me. "Don't think I didn't notice what you're trying to do."
"What am I trying to do?" I lift my chin, returning Gale's gaze with a glare of my own.
"You're trying to save his life. You must really care for him."
I can't bear to hold his eyes any longer. I turn away, focusing instead on the snowy ground at my feet. "He's a good man, Gale."
"I think I just said that." There's no hint of jealousy in his tone and again I'm reminded of how much Gale has changed these last few months.
We don't talk any more because Gneiss steps forward to begin the second half of Madge's punishment.
It's worse now.
Madge's blood drips onto the compacted snow, staining it red.
My stomach churns. I've never been good with blood. Animals are just fine. But this isn't an animal; this is Madge. This is someone I care about.
I glance down at my feet, noting that there's small drips of blood in the snow near where Gale is standing. My eyes fly to Gale's hands and I'm able to make out small semi-circular wounds in his palms from where he dug his nails in to prevent himself from interfering.
I know he and Madge have grown close. I didn't realize they were this close. I feel a trickle of jealousy lance through me and it surprises me.
Why am I jealous?
I analyze my feelings to distract myself from Madge's whipping.
I don't want Gale. Not in that way.
Why do I care if he's in love with Madge?
I don't.
Madge and Gale aren't the problem.
He and I are.
Gale and I have grown apart. I have a family and Peeta. He's got his new career. Our responsibilities and worries have changed. Neither of us are afraid of starvation now. Our fears are bigger, more life changing than where our next meal is going to come from. He has all of Twelve to worry about. While I've got all of Panem. We used to have so much in common. Now everything's changed.
Part of me wishes I could change it back. But that'd mean losing my family. Prim. Willow. Peeta…
The last brings me up short.
I don't want to lose Peeta.
I shove the thought away, turning back to the events unfolding in front of me. I don't have time to examine my feelings for my husband. Madge needs me. I repeat the last, ignoring the little voice in my head who sounds oddly like Haymitch telling me that I care about the boy. I know I do. He's my friend. And…
Finally, the twentieth stroke falls. Gneiss takes a step back, shuddering in relief. I hadn't noticed it before, but there's an expression of sadness and resignation on the woman's face. I wonder if the reason Miner asked her to administer the punishment was because she wouldn't enjoy it.
Captain Miner gives a signal. Darius quickly steps forward and removes the bindings from Madge's wrists. They've rubbed raw, forming angry circles on the girl's arms. I can't bring myself to look at Madge's back.
Captain Miner makes an imperious motion and two more Peacekeepers step forward with a stretcher. Carefully, they help Madge lay down face first on it, then stand up, waiting for their orders.
Before the Mayor can speak, Gale calls out, "We'll take her to the Everdeens'."
"Are you certain that's wise?" Captain Miner asks, making a face. "Miss Undersee needs a physician."
"Mrs. Everdeen's a healer, about the best we've got here in Twelve," Gale responds.
He's not wrong. The merchant doctor doesn't do anything other than prescribe the same 'wonder drug morphling' no matter the ailment, and morphling's too expensive for most folk. My mother's merchant family does what they can, but they know more about treating illnesses than injuries. My mother is the best we've got in Twelve.
Miner frowns at that bit of information. I wonder if it has to do with my maiden name or Gale's explanation.
I don't have time to worry about that right now. Right now, Gale and I need to make sure Madge gets to my mother.
Madge's life might depend on it.
oOo
The trip from the square to my mother's house is surreal. Both Gale and the Mayor are hovering next to Madge as she's carried between the two Peacekeepers. Captain Miner accompanies us, which is even more bizarre.
When we reach my mother's house, I can see someone's cleared off the dining room table, placing a thin pillow on one end. Next to the table sits a tea tray with a bowl full of snow, another of steaming water, and a third piled high with bandages.
My mother is in full healer mode, giving orders to the Peacekeepers. She examines Madge's wounds with a critical eye. She looks up, her eyes finding Captain Miner. "You removed her shirt?"
"I gave Miss Undersee the option, and she consented." Miner's tone is brisk, business-like.
Still, my mother's eyes widen at the words. "Thank you."
"If it's of any importance," the woman volunteers, "the whip had never been used before today."
My mother nods, her eyes turning back to her patient. "How many lashes?"
"Twenty."
My mother makes another mental tick. "Will there be any follow up punishment?"
"No. So long as Miss Undersee understands and does not repeat her transgression, the Capitol considers this punishment enough." Miner shifts slightly. "Is there anything else?"
My mother shakes her head.
"Then we shall take our leave and allow you to work." Miner escorts her Peacekeepers out, leaving the rest of us alone.
I turn my head back and forth. "Where's Peeta and Willow?"
"Upstairs," my mother answers.
"Did Mellark bring the morphling?" Gale asks, glancing down at the tea tray.
My mother starts to clean Madge's back with a cloth and the warm water. "He did."
"Then why aren't you giving her any?" Mayor Undersee demands.
From her place on the table, Madge lets out a low moan.
"Because right now, I need her awake," my mother answers, her voice curt. "Her back isn't the worst I've seen, and it's better if she can take off her clothes on her own than have me cut her out of them. And as I'm sure you're aware, morphling is addictive. The last thing you need, Orville, is two addicts living in your house. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a patient to attend to."
The Mayor flushes.
I meet Gale's eyes. I didn't know morphling was addictive. The merchant doctor never said anything like that.
"Do you need me to stay?" I ask.
"No. You'll just be in the way," my mother answers. She's not trying to be mean. It's the truth. I'm not Prim. Healing has never been my specialty.
I flee the room, grateful to not be needed. I head upstairs, looking for my husband and daughter. I saw Peeta's coat hanging in the foyer so I know he's not gone home. I move from room to room before finding them in Prim's room.
"How's Madge?" Peeta asks when I enter.
Willow is sleeping on Prim's bed, one small fist mashed against her mouth.
I sit down next to my family. "My mother says it's not bad, but it looks pretty bad to me."
"This shouldn't have happened." Peeta's voice is hard.
"No." I reach out with one hand to run my fingers down Willow's back. I need to reassure myself there is good in this world. "It shouldn't have."
"No one gets whipped for going under the fence!" Peeta insists. "No one! I mean, everyone does it. It's not like we're running away or causing a rebellion. What's the big deal?"
"You'd have to ask the Capitol."
"I feel horrible," Peeta says. "Not for the reason I should! I mean, Madge is my friend. She's been my friend since I was a child." He turns to me, his eyes stricken. "But the first thing I thought when Miner made her announcement was I was glad it wasn't you! It could've been," he shudders. "In fact, if it weren't for Gale, it probably would've! And then Snow'd get his wish, 'cause I would have stepped in. Made another mistake. And then who knows what punishment he'd exact." Peeta shudders.
I draw him close. Not just to give him comfort, but to receive it as well.
"But that didn't happen," I soothe.
"No. But it could've. Just one more debt I owe Hawthorne." Since we've been married, he's learned about owing and what it means. And I'm not the one who taught him, Prim did. My husband stares at me helplessly. "I've got no idea how in the hell I'm gonna go about repaying it."
"We both owe Gale for today."
"Did you see his face today? At the whipping?"
I nod, relieved Peeta's changed the subject.
"He's in love with that girl."
I think so too, but I want to hear Peeta's opinion. "Why do you think that?"
Peeta looks over at me. "I've seen Gale's expression in the mirror many times. I know what unrequited love looks like."
I don't know what I can say. I suspect his love isn't as unrequited as he thinks. But I'm not sure. And until I know for certain, I don't want to say anything.
oOo
Peeta and I are both up early the next morning. Normally, I try to catch a nap after Willow's first feeding, but I decide to forgo it today.
I'm worried about Madge.
And my mother.
With Prim gone, she won't have anyone to help her care for her patient. The problem is when my mother is in full healer mode, she tends to forget to take care of her basic needs, including eating.
While Peeta does his daily routine of making bread and rolls, I set out to make a simple casserole from the day old bread and some butcher meat. I miss the taste of freshly caught meat. The butcher's stuff is bland and tasteless by comparison. But after seeing what happened yesterday, I can stand for tasteless food. Instead, I try to add a little excitement by seasoning it with several herbs and spices sent from the Capitol. I think it's pretty good, and I'm pretty sure my mother won't care.
I grab a few cans of soup from the pantry to take with me. I'm not sure if Madge is up for eating yet, but she'll need something that's easy on the stomach with all of the medication she'll probably be taking.
The sun's just starting to rise when I step outside. Peeta declined to join me, instead offering to stay home with our daughter. I think they have big plans for today, including their mid-morning nap and maybe some ball rolling time later. If Willow's feeling exceptionally tolerant, Peeta might actually attempt to read her a book. Not that I think they'll get any farther than that weird mutt-like cat in the hat showing up.
Still, Peeta seems to enjoy it, so I let him. He gets too little happiness as it is.
I don't bother knocking and just let myself into my mother's house. I can hear someone moving around in the kitchen and so I head in that direction first.
It's my mother, standing at the stove, stirring something in a large pot.
"How is she?" I ask without any preamble.
"She'll make it," my mother answers, still concentrating on her task. "She's got a fever, but that's not too surprising."
"We made you some food."
She glances over her shoulder at me. "That's nice of you. I haven't even thought about eating. And I don't think Gale's eaten anything either."
"Gale's here?" I didn't think he'd be here this early.
"He never left."
I blink at that.
"Why don't you take him a little bit of whatever you brought? I'm sure he's ravenous by now."
I do as my mother asks, spooning some of the bread casserole into a dish, carrying it into the dining room.
Gale sits with his back to me, his head resting on the table, pillowed by one of his arms. His other hand is wrapped around Madge's smaller one.
It's an oddly intimate scene and I feel like an intruder, witnessing it.
I clear my throat, announcing my presence.
Gale starts. His head swivels, his grey eyes meeting mine. They're wide. Panicked.
I hurriedly attempt to soothe him. "It's just me, Gale."
He blinks at me.
"I thought you might like some food."
My friend finds his voice. "Thanks, Catnip," he says, accepting the plate. He glances around the room, taking in the pale grey light. "What time is it?"
"Early. It's just after dawn."
"I should probably get home, get to work."
"I'm pretty sure the Mayor will give you a pass, all things considered."
Gale doesn't say anything, taking a bite of my casserole.
"Are you in love with her?" The words tumble out.
He drops the fork. "What - why do you ask that?"
"I don't know," I reply, bending down to retrieve it. "Peeta thinks you're in love with her. All I know is you're different now. You're not the same Gale I used to know."
"You're not the same Katniss either."
He's got a point. But I'm not willing to let the subject drop. "You haven't answered my question."
"Are you jealous?"
"No," I say, shaking my head. "Just curious. So, are you?"
"I don't know. Maybe." Gale reaches out and draws one hand down Madge's cheek. Pulling his hand back, he turns his eyes to me. "What I feel for her isn't what I feel for you."
I shift my weight under the heat of Gale's gaze.
Gale sighs. "I guess my answer is maybe. We've bonded a lot, these past few months. And she's been there for me when others haven't."
I feel a low flush rise up my neck.
"It's not your fault, Catnip," he's quick to reassure me. "Madge and I, we both know just how busy you've been and just how much you've had to deal with. But I needed a friend. And Madge has been there for me. Kind of feel I should be there for her." He squeezes her hand gently.
I nod my head, uncertain of what to say. "I didn't realize you had that much in common with her." The words sound petty, even to my ears.
"I didn't either, at first," he admits. "But we bonded over being in love with Mellarks that we can't have."
"Madge is in love with Peeta?"
Gale throws back his head and laughs. "No, your husband's safe. She's in love with his eldest brother, Bing."
"Oh," I say, thinking back to the conversation where Madge mentioned there was somebody she'd cared about for a long time, and all of a sudden it hits me. "Oh! So you like Bing's wife?"
"That's not the Mellark I was talking about."
"So who?"
"You, Catnip."
"But I'm not a Mellark," I protest.
"Yes, Katniss, you are. And it took me a long time to be okay with that."
oOo
AN:
Written: 11/29/15
Revised: 12/7/15
Revised 2: 12/12/15
Betaread by: ForFutureReference & RoseFyre
This was a hard chapter to write. Really hard. And it took me a long time to get it done and even edited. There's some real life coming down the pipe so I can't commit to keeping my every two week schedule for the next few months. Things should resolve themselves in April.
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!