Disclaimer: I do not own Danger Mouse or any characters featured in this. They are the property of Brian Cosgrove and Mark Hall.

Notes: After receiving a review from silvermouse mentioning the story seemed a bit rushed, I found I agreed and decided to make it a multi-chapter. This story will show Penfold on the path to recovery by getting help. It will also show how Danger Mouse handles the whole situation.

Contains the same warnings.

(Linebreaks still hate me, so I will be using DMEP)

DMEP

It would appear I told a lie at the end of the previous chapter. The authoress decided to continue with this story. Well, as long as we do, let's see how everything will work out.

Danger Mouse awoke with a start. His breathing was heavy and sweat dampened the fur on his forehead. He felt his arms around a smaller someone and remembered everything that had happened. He held his breath for a few seconds, focusing on making sure he could still hear that of the hamster. He felt overwhelmed with relief when he did.

The phonecall he had received was probably the worst he would claim. He'd had no idea Penfold had been suffering internally for such a long time. The hamster had done too well in hiding it. But, they were best friends! They'd lived together for years, knew almost everything about each other... Oh. That's just it. They didn't know exactly everything about each other. Maybe that was why he couldn't read into Penfold's moods.

He lay there, sleep refusing to return to him. Sure, Penfold was with him, currently safe and sound. But, there was still that unease accompanying his nightmare, let alone the earlier events of the evening. He'd only thought Penfold had decided to take a quick walk to the shops, he didn't ever suspect that his final words would've been try not to get too frightened called in a slightly teasing tone. His eye widened. What if that little jest was partly responsible for the hamster's decision? What have I done...?

Penfold stirred slightly. He stayed asleep, but tried making a bit of space between their torsos.

Tears formed in the mouse's exposed eye. "I almost...I was just joking, surely he knew that...but..." He brought the hamster closer to him again, squeezing his eye shut, allowing the tears to slip down onto his pillow.

"Mm, hot..." Penfold murmured in his sleep.

"I'm sorry..." He allowed them a bit more space, just so the hamster wouldn't be overheated. We'll need to make sure this place is safe. I'll need to lock up any medications, poisons, sharp objects, ropes, belts, scarves, bathtimes will need to be supervised, he can't be left alone... He opened his eye again. I'll also need to call Colonel K and have him connect us to the best therapist in the agency. For now though... He shifted so his forehead was pressed against his assistant's. For now, I need to try to rest. I can't help Penfold if I am not well-rested... He closed his eye again, hoping the close contact would allow him to ease back into slumber.

DMEP

As was their usual start to the day, Danger Mouse was the first awake. He saw Penfold still sleeping and smiled tenderly. He knew he shouldn't leave his assistant alone, not while he was experiencing such feelings, not while having such thoughts. But, he had to get up and make sure the flat would be safe for the hamster. He didn't want to wake him. I may not have a choice though... He carefully nudged the hamster. "Rise and shine, Penfold."

"Mm...DM? Do we have a mission?"

"You could say that. For now, Penfold, we need to make absolutely certain there is no possible way you can hurt yourself."

"But, I'll be fine, I just need to talk to someone."

"It's not that simple, Penfold." He helped him sit up, reached over to the nightstand, picked up the spectacles and handed them to the smaller rodent. "Until you have been given the all-clear, we must make certain you are kept safe."

"But, DM..."

"Please, Penfold."

"Oh, alright. What do we have to do?"

"Lock away anything that could put you at risk. We'll have to have shared baths for the timebeing too."

"Eh?"

"To ensure you won't try to drown yourself."

"Can't I just have showers instead?"

"Still not safe enough. You need supervision."

"Crumbs, DM, I'm not a kid! Why are you treating me like one, eh?"

"It's not to treat you like a child. It is to make absolutely certain that if those dark thoughts return, then there is no possible way you can act on them. This is a very important means of keeping you safe."

"But, you can't keep an eye on me all the time! I mean, what about when I have to use the loo?"

"I will stand outside and we will talk."

"Then, why can't we do that with the bath?"

"You're not entirely at risk with the toilet."

He pouted and turned away. "DM, I don't like this. You're being too overprotective right now."

"Can you blame me?"

He turned back to him when he heard the emphatic tone.

"Last night, you were trying to call a suicide helpline because you thought it would be better if you weren't here anymore! You were contemplating jumping in the Thames and forcing yourself to drown when I arrived. Don't deny it."

"That was last night."

"These feelings don't just vanish overnight, Penfold! I should know!"

"What do you mean...?"

"When I was younger, I went through this too. That's why I know what I need to do to help you, because someone else did the same for me when I needed it."

"How long did it take you?"

"Months to work through those feelings, a couple of years to work through everything. I'm far better from it now than I was back then. I still have my moments, but never as severe. If you had...if you had drowned yourself in the Thames, rest assured I would've followed you."

"But...but, the world needs you, DM!"

"And I need you!"

"I...never knew you went through this sort of thing too..."

"Of course not. I hadn't told you."

"What were you like when the ones helping you had to do what you're suggesting?"

"I was the same as you. I felt like I was being treated like a child. I soon realised why they felt a need to keep it up."

"The thoughts returned?"

"Often. Even when I was seeing someone. I told you it took months to get through that alone. Suicidal thoughts and feelings work like waves. Sometimes they are very small, hardly noticable. Other times, they're like tsunamis; powerful, destructive, impossible to overcome."

"I understand."

"So, please understand when I say I am not doing this to make you feel like you are a child who needs to be coddled. I am doing this because it's the best way to keep you safe. It will take time for both of us to get used to this, but you especially."

"Alright, DM, if this really is best..."

"It is. You'll thank me for it later, I'm sure of it." He sighed. "Also, I'm sorry about last night. My words to you as you were stepping out."

"Oh, that?"

"Yes. I...would not be surprised if they contributed to your decision. I..."

"DM, shush! Um...Sir."

He was surprised at that.

"Those words did nothing of the sort. I know you were only teasing. In fact, they made it harder for me."

"Harder?"

"They reminded me of what I was about to give up. I'd made my final decision days ago."

"I see."

"Um, I'm sorry I shushed you. I know I have no authority to do that, but you were being guilty for no reason."

"Oh, I still have reason to feel guilt. For not noticing over the last couple of years how you've really felt."

"I told you though, I kept it hidden."

"I still should've at least asked if you were alright. I always asked if you were unharmed, but never alright. There is a big difference between the two."

"Still...I'm sorry I shushed you."

"Never mind that."

"So, what should we do first, Chief?"

"Call Colonel K. I'll have you explain your situation to him while I set about putting everything away. You'll still be supervised that way."

"Okay."

He scooped up Penfold, slid off the bed and carried him out of the room.

"Erm, I can walk, Chief."

"I know. But, please allow me this?"

"Alright."

DMEP

"Great Scot! I say, good thing you called the flat by mistake, Penfold!" Colonel K exclaimed after Danger Mouse briefly explained the situation. "What will you two be doing?"

"For now, Colonel, I ask that you please continue speaking with Penfold about therapy options until I return. I will be putting away anything that could cause harm," Danger Mouse requested.

"Right-o, DM. You do what you must. Now, Penfold, you'll have to explain what started all of this in the first place so we can find the right help."

"Yes, Sir."

Danger Mouse took that opportunity to head into the kitchen.

DMEP

"All knives are in the highest cupboard, cleaning products have been locked away, there is a padlock on the oven so only I can open it with the key...now for the bathroom." Danger Mouse left the kitchen. He could hear Penfold and Colonel K still speaking with each other.

He entered the bathroom and saw it was tidy. "Now then, I need to lock away the medications. I believe I have a combination lock for the cabinet." He reached into the pouch on the utility belt strapped around his waist and found what he was after. "I never thought I would be spending any of my mornings doing this." He fastened the lock. "But, this is necessary." He picked up the shampoo, conditioner, soap and bubble bath, then set them on a high shelf. "Hmm, the razors are in the medicine cabinet. They should be fine there. Right, next is the laundry."

DMEP

"So, that's really how I have been feeling, Sir."

"Hm, I see. I'll get in touch with Dr. Moore and see if he can see you and DM."

"The chief too? Why, Sir?"

"Because this will also affect him. He'll be needing help to sort his own feelings on this."

"I see."

"In the meantime, both of you will be declared Unfit for Duty until you are cleared by Dr. Moore."

"Oh, crumbs. I don't think DM will like that."

"Actually, it's understandable in these circumstances," Danger Mouse remarked as he approached the hamster. "I understand I will be seeing Dr. Moore as well, Colonel?"

"Right, DM, just to make sure you are able to find ways to cope with this too," Colonel K replied.

"I understand, Sir, and would be more than happy to see him."

"Good show. Have you finished making the flat safe?"

"I just need to take care of Penfold's room, but would rather do that with him so I don't feel I am invading his privacy."

"Right, very good then. Over and around the bend."

"Over and out, Sir."

"Isn't that what I said?" The screen changed to static before going blank.

Penfold looked up at Danger Mouse. "What would we need to take care of in my room?"

"For starters, any of your ties and belts would serve as risks at the moment. There may also be some of your toys." He put a paw to his chin. "Come to think of it, the same applies for your linen."

"Is there anything that can be done about that?"

"Since you need constant supervision anyway, you'll be sleeping in my room."

"Every night?"

"Until you've been cleared as no longer a hazard to yourself."

"Oh, crumbs..." He hung his head. "I'm sorry for being such a nuisance."

"A nuisance?" He stepped forward, knelt down and drew the hamster into an embrace. "You're not being a nuisance. I just want to make sure you stay safe, that's all. Every precaution must be taken."

"I know, but since even you've been declared Unfit for Duty because of me...I've done it again..."

"No, Penfold. It's not like that. Colonel K is worried that my current mental state would be the main hinderance to any upcoming missions."

"It's only like that because of me though."

"Maybe so. Penfold, stop."

"I wasn't going anywhere."

"No, you were going to blame yourself again."

"But, it's true though. If I hadn't been like this..."

"That may be true."

"See? If I hadn't called here last night..."

"No, that's not true. If you hadn't called here, if you had followed through...I already told you, I would've followed. I would've been in far worse condition than I am now."

"How...how bad is it?"

"My condition doesn't matter as much as yours does. You're the one wanting to die, not me. I would've wanted to if you had."

"It still matters, DM. Colonel K made it clear you'll need help too. Please, DM, be honest."

"Alright. I'm scared. I'm very, very scared. I found it hard to sleep last night, even while holding you. I kept waking, thinking I had been too late. It would take some time for me to realise I was still holding you. Even then, I would need to make sure you were sleeping, not...you know."

"Mm."

"I could wrap this place in bubblewrap and still be fretful for your safety. I would then consider that to be unsafe. I don't know if sleep will ever come easily again. I will just want to stay awake the whole time, just to make absolutely sure that when morning arrived, you would wake up."

"I'm sorry for putting you through this."

"It's because I care about you, Penfold. I told you, I love you. I don't want to lose you."

"Even so, DM..." His stomach chose that moment to grumble. "Cor, I forgot I didn't eat last night."

"That makes two of us. Come on, I'll get us some breakfast."

"But, isn't that what I should be doing?"

"Not when we need to keep you safe. Hmm, that's another thought..."

"What is?"

"The lift and the stairs. They can also be potential hazards right now."

DMEP

Danger Mouse let out a quiet sigh. Penfold had fallen asleep. "I know I am being a bit too overbearing on him right now, but I must do what I can to keep him safe." He wrapped an arm around his assistant's shoulders and held him close to his side. "He is already getting tired of it, I just know it. But...I'd rather have him cross with me than have him at risk of hurting himself." He thought back to earlier that afternoon.

"Oh, fiddle, DM, this is going too far! I'm going to be supervised by you, aren't I? I won't throw myself down the stairs or jump off the lift!"

"I know that, Penfold, but even so..."

"Look, DM, I know you want to keep me safe. I appreciate your concern. But, now you're just being too paranoid."

He felt frustrated. He was just trying to keep Penfold safe. The hamster claimed he knew it, but did he understand it?

"I really do feel like you're treating me like a child! You may as well call in a baby-proofing professional for this! They'd be doing the same job anyway!"

"Now, Penfold, this is different to that."

"Is it? Don't they try to make places safe so babies and small children can't get hurt or killed? Isn't that what you're doing to the place right now?"

"Well, of course it is, but..."

"You see? You really are treating me like some stupid child who wouldn't know better! I can't do anything around here without you hovering over my shoulder! I'm supposed to be your assistant, remember? My job is to help out around here when off the field!"

"You're not working right now, don't you get it? Right now, we are just a mouse and a hamster that live together and are best friends! There is no Chief and Assistant going on between us, just Danger Mouse and Penfold!"

"I should still be doing something around here! I live here too!"

"Penfold, you don't understand..."

"What don't I understand?"

"You really don't. Forget about it. Fighting over this is ridiculous."

"Oh, so you're now saying I am ridiculous?"

"You're putting words in my mouth."

"Admit it, you think I am ridiculous, useless, and nothing but an annoyance!"

"I don't! Good grief, Penfold, open your blooming ears and listen to me! I am doing this to keep you safe! You know that, right?"

"Of course, I mean, I'm not stupid."

"I didn't say you were. But, you don't seem to understand why I am doing this."

"Then, why don't you enlighten me?"

"Just saying it won't make you understand. I have been saying it all morning."

"Danger Mouse, you need to tell me again. What don't I understand about you being paranoid?"

"Paranoid? You really think I am being paranoid right now?"

"If the shoe fits..."

"Well, maybe it may seem like paranoia."

"It doesn't seem like it, it is paranoia! Tell me, make me understand why you are doing this."

"Alright, but you still may not, no matter how many times I tell you."

"I'm not stupid, I'll understand."

"Again, I didn't say you were. You already know the situation. You are suicidal and you need to be kept safe."

"Who said I was suicidal right now?"

"I already told you it doesn't go away overnight! Just because right now you don't feel like jumping in the Thames or taking a rope and...no, I can't even say it... Just because you don't feel like that right now, it does not mean your suicidal thoughts have vanished. That's why I am taking every possible precaution to make sure when the thoughts come back stronger, there is no possible way for you to act on them."

"I know that."

"But, you don't understand it."

"Look, DM, you're not the one who has been feeling useless for a few years."

"No. I wouldn't even begin to know how that feels."

"Then, stop trying to."

"I'm not trying to."

"Then, what are you doing?"

"You may have felt useless for a few years, but I am still scared that you would leave forever!"

"DM..."

"I could've lost you! Penfold, I could've lost you last night! Why else would I be acting this way?"

"But, this feeling is new."

"It's not. Every dangerous mission we've had...rather, every mission we've had, when your life has been in jeopardy, I would start worrying about the what ifs. When Greenback got you and threatened your life, I was filled with dread. Last night, when you called saying you were contemplating suicide, I was certain my heart would stop. Now that the fear has almost become reality, I can't..." He shook his head. "I can't, Penfold."

His eyes widened. "You've felt this way for so long? Then, how did you manage?"

"Things worked out. Last night, it wasn't Greenback or Crumhorn or anybody like that. It was you. I could fight them and rescue you, but how could I rescue you from your thoughts? The most I can do is make sure you are kept safe. That's why I am going so far. I'm sorry it annoys you, I'm sorry it makes you feel worse. I don't want to do that to you. I just..."

"I'm sorry, DM. I didn't realise this was why..." He embraced him and felt it being returned firmly.

Tears filled his eye, one slipped down his cheek. "I just don't want to lose you..."

"Crumbs, I feel terrible now. You're only trying to help, and I started yelling at you for it."

"We both did some shouting there, Penfold. It will be alright."

He felt tears in his eye again, so he quickly swiped them away. "No, stop that. We've both done what we must to ensure Penfold stays safe." He was somewhat glad he had been declared Unfit for Duty. There was no way he could ever focus on a mission during such a time. "Penfold and I both need to make sure we are in the best possible condition before we can return to the field."

DMEP

So, help has been discussed, but there is still a long way to go for both of our heroes. Look forward to another installment of this story.

DMEP

After-notes: A symptom of Depression, even during times when suicidal thoughts are becoming prominent, is irritability. That's why I have Penfold getting irritated with DM about the measures he is taking to keep him safe. DM's own struggles with it aren't canon, but in his field of work, it would not surprise me if his mind did enter dark voids in the past.

The next chapter will focus more on Penfold and the beginning to his recovery. Why did I have this one focus so heavily on DM? To show he was also greatly affected by all of this. This serves as the beginning to the aftermath of what could've been a tragedy.

For those of you expressing concern, the truth is I am not alright. However, I have my safety plan in effect to make sure there is no way I can follow through with my thoughts. But, thank you for caring.

Thanks for reading. You don't have to review, but if you want to say something, please don't flame. Constructive criticism is fine though.