The Headmaster's Visit

"And I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do
There are so many thoughts in my head"

Dana Glover - Thinking Over

Winter was coming. You could feel it when there was no longer any point of going outside between classes and see it when most students started wearing their cloaks inside, complaining about the corridors not being warm enough. The last sunny days of the year seemed to have passed and the rain, which James guessed would soon be replaced by snow, created mud that made Mr Filch furious whenever it was accidentally brought inside. The trees had lost their colorful leaves and frankly, there was not much to do but waiting for the holidays and focus on all the homework that was supposed to prepare the seventh years for their NEWT exams.

Of course, this was easier said than done. It had been almost three weeks since James had been attacked by the stranger in Hogsmeade and still, it seemed to be the only thing people whispered and gossiped about as soon as they got the chance. One morning, a few days after James had finally managed to convince Madam Pomfrey that attending classes and return to his own bedroom would not get him unconscious, a Hufflepuff second year blocked James' and Sirius' path on their way to Herbology.

"Is... Is it true that..." The second year looked so excited he obviously had trouble finishing his sentence. "Is it true that you were attacked? And you have no idea who it was?!"

His eyes were big as plates as he stared at James expectantly but it was Sirius who replied:

"You know, we actually have more important things to do than play babysitters. So sod off"

The boy's cheeks turned scarlet and he immediately went to join his friends that all started whispering excitedly amongst themselves.

"Don't worry about it mate" Sirius said reassuringly and gave the second years an angry glare as he and James passed them by. "Only days from now people will forget all about this"

But James seriously doubted that and, since the Hufflepuff boy was far from the only one who obviously considered his story really exciting, he proved to be right. Whilst they were listening to professor Sprout going on and on about the Devil's Snare James couldn't help wondering why Sirius had a problem with it. Far too many times during the past couple of weeks he'd seen the same look of doubt in both Sirius' and Remus' eyes. For all he knew, they might as well be the ones asking whether any of it was true.

Ironically enough, the only person who seemed to have believed in James' story from the very start was Lily Evans. Only minutes after she'd left the Hospital Wing had he realized that and James desperately wanted to apologize for how he'd been acting. However, Lily had gone back to pretending like he didn't even exist and whenever they ran into each other in their shared common room she avoided his gaze and hurried out of there as soon as possible.

James didn't blame her and frankly, he was too tired to start a fight about it. This was how Lily had always treated him. Was he really naive enough to think that one nice time in Hogsmeade would change that?

Stop imagining things, James had told himself again and again. She hates you just as much as she always has and you have more important things to worry about, anyway.

That was true. The quidditch game against Slytherin was drawing closer and even though James had forced his team to practice almost every day he was still very nervous. What if they weren't good enough? What if Slytherin was better? What if...

"Come on Mr Potter, I don't even see you trying over there!" Professor Flitwick's squeaky voice caused James to look up and he noticed that several of his classmates had turned their heads to look at him. "Your knowledge of this charm is very likely to be tested in your NEWT exams..."

"You know what, I think they're just trying to scare us" Sirius muttered as soon as Flitwick was out of earshot. "Not a day passes by without them mentioning something that will be tested in our NEWT:s. Still, there's not nearly room enough for half of it..."

"And that's your, what, 160th excuse for not studying?" Remus asked and James stopped himself from sighing out loud; this was something his two friends argued about far too often for his liking.

They were having Charms on a Tuesday morning in the middle of December and as usual, James found it quite hard to pay attention. Today was even worse than usual, though, for tomorrow morning he and his team would play Slytherin. As if Remus could read his mind he asked:

"So, excited about the game tomorrow, James?"

James muttered something incoherent in response and Sirius furrowed.

"What was that?"

"I said I just hope we'll win"

Once again, professor Flitwick looked their way and James and Sirius both pretended to practice the charm they were supposed to learn whilst Remus rolled his eyes. For the first time, Peter spoke up and his voice was low and nervous sounding as he said:

"I'm sure Gryffindor will win, James"

"Yeah mate, you know we'll always believe in you"

It was not Sirius' encouraging smile, the way he tipped his chair back on its rear legs or the confidence in his voice that caught James off guard. Instead, it was Sirius' actual words that bothered him and no matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn't let it pass unnoticed.

"Yeah... At least when it comes to quidditch"

He avoided meeting anyone's gaze but could still feel the tension grow. He could tell that his friends knew perfectly well what he was referring to. Remus sighed heavily in a way that only made James feel angrier.

"James, we would never dream of calling you a liar but..."

"But what?" James interrupted him heatedly, not even surprised by the way he couldn't control his temper.

It happened all the time lately. It seemed like all he ever felt was numbness, exhaustion and anger. Somewhere here and there there was room for a little hope and a certain redhead had been a part of all those specific moments. And now he'd ruined the only chance he'd ever get.

He continued:

"Even Evans has a bigger faith in me than the three of you. She even asked me whether I had any ideas who might have been behind it..."

"Hang on"

James fell silent at once as Sirius held up his hand and stared at him disbelief.

"You talked to Evans about this? When?"

"She was in the Hospital Wing to see her friend when I was still there" James replied, silently regretting he'd said anything in the first place. "It actually seemed like... like she cared and I ruined all of it"

"Why?" Remus interrupted him curiously. "What did you do?"

James opened and closed his mouth several times and tried to come up with an honest answer to his friend's question. What did he do, really? At what point had she decided that she'd had enough and left? Was it when he said that he'd expected her to just leave even though he woke up screaming? When he told her that she didn't care?

Well, she didn't. Right?

James didn't know. At the moment, he had no answers to any questions regarding Lily Evans and that was another reason why he was so happy Christmas was approaching. During the summer he'd always been able to walk away whenever he felt like it but here, at Hogwarts, he had nowhere to escape to. And sometimes, the mere thought of that made him feel as if he was about to go mad.

Lily

"Ugh, Potions with the slytherins this afternoon" Rebecca said gloomily and eyed her timetable. "Honestly, why can't we just be with the hufflepuffs like we were last year?"

"Because Dumbledore wants us all to get along, remember?"

Alice helped herself to some food and by the sound of it, she didn't like the headmaster's new ideas about house unity any more than Lily herself did. The three girls were having lunch in the Great Hall after what had felt like a really intense morning with both Charms and Transfiguration. Mc Gonagall and Flitwick had gone on and on about their NEWT exams and Lily was feeling sick of it already, even though she hadn't even taken any of the tests yet.

Feeling like this Tuesday afternoon would get a little more bearable if she tried to keep her friends in a good mood she said, as cheerfully as she could manage:

"Well, at least this is the last lesson we have to work in pairs on that stupid project"

Lily knew she was making it all sound worse than it really was. A year ago, working with James in Potions would have been pure torture but since he mostly kept his mouth shut and did as he was told it was not much of a problem anymore. Though, of course, that was not exactly easy to admit to her friends...

Rebecca interrupted her thoughts by pointing out:

"Yeah I can see why you're so happy about that. You're finally getting rid of Potter"

Alice suddenly hushed her friend and nodded towards the far end of the Gryffindor table where James and his friends were sitting. As usual, Sirius seemed to do most of the talking and when taking a closer look Lily couldn't help thinking that James looked almost... angry.

That's not too surprising, considering the fact that none of his friends seemed to believe him when he told them what happened in Hogsemade, she thought. Like so many times before, the conversation she'd had with James in the Hospital Wing came back to her.

"Why are you here? Why pretend like you care?"

Was that all she was to him? A liar who pretended to care about other people and who willingly hurt their feelings?

It doesn't matter what he thinks, a rational little voice inside Lily's head whispered. Since when does it matter what James Bloody Potter thinks?

Realizing that Alice and Rebecca were both staring at her in silence, obviously waiting for a reply, Lily took a sip from her pumpkin juice and mumbled:

"Yeah... Yeah, it's great that it's finally over"

Lily

Just like during the past couple of weeks Lily avoided looking at James, knowing that it'd hurt if she did even though she had no idea why. As usual, they were sitting in the library and every now and then she took a glance at her watch, hoping that this Potions lesson would soon be over...

"I need to tell you something"

Lily slowly looked up from the piece of parchment she was writing on, hardly believing her ears. Now, it was impossible not to meet his gaze and when looking into his eyes she somehow knew what he was going to say. There was guilt, mixed with exhaustion and annoyance there. Almost as if he hated himself for what he truly felt and knew to be right.

Lily waited. James dropped her gaze and absentmindedly started drawing small, black circles with his quill on the piece of parchment lying in front of him.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly, looking up at her once more. "I don't know why I... I mean, it was wrong of me to treat you that way"

Lily had no idea what to say so she stayed silent, thinking that this was all something for the world to see. James Potter, sitting here with a rather nervous look on his face, apologizing for something he'd done. James Potter, admitting that he was wrong.

She took a deep breath.

"It seems like that's all we ever do these days. Apologizing"

Since when was there a "we"?

Lily almost got tears in her eyes from staring right back at James for so long; it was like they'd both agreed to play a game where the person who looks away first loses. Then, he dropped her gaze and she remembered that playing was not something he did anymore. James Potter did no longer care about winning, apart from in quidditch, that was. Lily wouldn't be surprised if he wouldn't even fight back if Severus or any other slytherin jumped right at him.

He seemed to have lost everything.

"I think I know" Lily's voice was so low she could barely make out her own words. "Why you acted that way in the Hospital Wing, I mean"

This was the moment where she expected him to get angry or perhaps even get up and leave. She'd come to realize that James, just like most other people, hated it when others jumped to conclusions about his behavior and thoughts. She waited - but there was nothing. He simply stared right back at her with an expectant look on his face, apparently waiting for her to continue. So Lily did:

"You said that you don't want people to feel sorry for you..."

"I don't" James interrupted her immediately and Lily nodded silently.

"I know that" she said. "But did you ever think that the reason why people constantly worry about you is that you keep telling them that you're fine?"

Where was all this coming from? Lily herself had no idea. This was not something she'd spent a lot of time thinking about and yet the words just felt so... natural. As if the things she now told James were the most obvious things in the world.

He frowned at her.

"Shouldn't the fact that I'm fine make people stop worrying about me?" he asked and Lily shook her head slowly, amazed by her own courage.

"Not if you don't mean it" she mumbled, glancing down at her hands. "And our closest friends have a way of knowing when we're not telling the truth"

The situation was surreal. Here she was, sitting opposite James Potter in the almost deserted library, accusing him of lying when he said that he was fine. And still, she felt nothing. This seemed like the right thing to do and so she was not afraid of his reaction, whatever it might be.

What caught her by surprise was the fact that he didn't oppose. James didn't tell her that she was wrong, that she didn't know anything about him or that things were not as bad as others made them out to be. He just sat there in silence, staring out the window. His cheek was clenched, almost as if he was trying to pull himself together...

"It's okay to be sad, you know" Lily said softly and fought against a strange urge to put her hand over his. "After what happened, nobody expects you to be perfectly fine. I sure as hell wouldn't be"

A few seconds passed by before James turned to look at her. He opened his mouth to say something when...

"Lily!"

They both turned around in their seats and spotted Alice standing half hidden behind a bookshelf, her bag in one hand and her Potions textbook in the other.

"There you are!" she said, sounding both relieved and confused as she eyed the scene in front of her. "The lesson ended 10 minutes ago"

"Really?"

Lily looked at her watch, surprised. How did that happen?

Thinking that she didn't want to be late for her next lesson, she stood up and swung her bag over her shoulder. Then, she gave James a brief smile and said:

"Good luck tomorrow"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise but Lily could see that the corner of his lips had turned slightly upwards.

"I thought you hated quidditch"

"I do" Lily said, grinning back at him. "But I hate the slytherins more"

She turned around to face Alice and together they headed towards the library's exit.

James

James finished the letter he was going to send his aunt, gave it to his owl and watched it soar through the open window before he returned to his studies. He had used the letter as an excuse only so he could take a break from the spells he needed to learn in Defence Against the Dark Arts and the years that professor Binns insisted they had to remember for their upcoming NEWT exams. Still, he knew he had to deal with it at some point and sooner was better than later.

If he was lucky, it might even take his mind off things.

For once, James was sitting in the common room he shared with Lily rather than in his own bedroom. He didn't know why. For some inexplicable reason he'd found it a little bit easier to be around other people ever since his and Lily's talk in the library that very same afternoon. Well, at least the thought of being around her was not that bothering.

She'd told him things he hadn't even considered before and yet it all just sounded so... right. Like they'd known each other forever. Perhaps that's what made it impossible for him to keep up his facade and pretend like everything was fine.

"It's okay to be sad, you know"

Why was it that when Lily Evans said it, there was a tiny part of him that actually believed it? You know why, the voice inside James' head whispered triumphantly. You know why because that's how she's always made you feel.

No. James opened his History of Magic textbook just to occupy his thoughts whilst he tried his best to drown out the voice. Not anymore. Those days are gone. The person you used to be is gone.

"Oh"

He jumped at the sound of Lily's voice and turned around in his seat quickly; ever since the attack in Hogsmeade he'd been even jumpier than usual. Lily looked a bit guilty once she realized she'd scared him and said:

"I'm sorry. I'm just not used to seeing you study in here"

James took one look at the random page he'd flipped open in his History of Magic textbook and knew that there was no point. It was getting late, past 9 o' clock already, and it had been a long day. Whether he liked to admit it or not, he would have to bring home some homework for Christmas.

"Well, it's not something you'll have to get used to" he muttered, grimacing slightly as he stood up. "I'm done for tonight"

Lily nodded silently and just as James was wondering whether he ought to say something there was a soft knock on the portrait of Godric Gryffindor. They both turned their heads to stare at it for a moment and then their gazes locked. Lily's eyes widened slightly as she stated:

"I wonder who that might be. And at this hour..."

James, who could only think of that night when hearing a complete stranger knock on the door, didn't move. Luckily, Lily did and she and James were both caught by surprise when the portrait swung open and the headmaster himself was standing outside.

"Professor" Lily said, obviously trying to keep the surprise out of her voice. "Come in!"

Dumbledore smiled widely before doing as he was told.

"Thank you, ms Evans"

Once he'd closed the portrait behind him he was left standing there, examining the room with a pleased look on his face. Meanwhile, he kept humming on a song that James recognized from somewhere. He and Lily exchanged another quick glance before she asked:

"Is... Is something wrong?"

"Oh no ms Evans, everything is just fine"

Dumbledore slowly made his way further into the room and James got the feeling he was inspecting the place, though in a non-judgemental sort of way.

"I was never made Head Boy" he suddenly said, once again catching both James and Lily by surprise.

If there was one person one would have expected to become Head Boy it was, naturally, Dumbledore himself. The headmaster continued:

"Truth to be told, I was quite happy about it at the time. Of course, it was not until later that I realized what an honor and responsibility it is"

James had no idea where the headmaster was getting with all this and seeing as he was starting to get really tired he was actually thinking about asking. However, at that very moment, Dumbledore turned his head and his clear blue eyes met James' darker ones. They were twinkling in the light coming from the crackling fire in the other end of the common room and James suddenly felt like he was being x-rayed. Again.

"You must wonder why I have decided to come here, and at this hour" Dumbledore said calmly and James couldn't decide whether the headmaster was addressing both of them or just him. "Actually, you're the one I wish to speak with, James"

James stared at the older wizard standing in front of him, suddenly unable to speak a single word.

"Everything is just fine, ms Evans". Why would he even be here if everything was "just fine"?

The thoughts started spinning through James' head. Had the death eaters found yet another victim that he was close to and cared about? Was his aunt, or anyone else, in danger? He could feel his heart starting to beat faster and didn't even notice the nervous look on Lily's face as she glanced from him to Dumbledore.

"I'm sorry, you two might want some privacy..." she started but to James' surprise Dumbledore merely gave her a smile.

"By all means, your presence does not bother me. That is, of course, unless James considers it inappropriate..."

"It's fine" James interrupted him, thinking that he didn't really have a choice.

If he'd tell Lily that he was not okay with her staying in the room, he'd show himself vulnerable. Like he was afraid he'd break down in front of her. She didn't need to know that that was, in fact, the truth.

To prevent himself from dwelling on the fact that his life might take yet another dramatic turn at any moment, James silently wondered why the headmaster insisted on calling him by his first name. Did he feel sorry for him, or even pitied him for what he was about to say?

"You do not have to worry" Dumbledore said calmly, interrupting his thoughts. "Like I said, everything is just fine"

He eyed the two teenagers in silence for a moment before he looked down. With a low and almost sad sounding voice he added:

"For now, at least"

Slowly, walked over to one of the extremely comfortable couches and sat down. With a switch of his wand a teapot and three cups appeared out of nowhere. Once it all softly landed on the small table, Dumbledore asked them:

"Please sit down"

James and Lily both did as they were told and did not speak a word until the headmaster continued:

"I would have come sooner, had I realized the gravity of the situation"

James saw from the corner of his eye how Lily raised her eyebrows and he could have sworn that they were both thinking the same thing:

How was this not bad?

Dumbledore's eyes came to rest on James again and he slowly helped himself to some tea before he said the words that changed everything:

"I wanted to talk to you about the attack in Hogsmeade"

James felt like a huge weight lifted off his shoulders and he let out a sigh of relief that probably didn't go unnoticed by Lily or Dumbledore.

Of course, the whole idea of someone wanting to hurt him was bad but not as bad as the thought of losing his aunt or any of his closest friends. He wasn't sure he could live with that and he'd rather get attacked a thousand times than watch someone he cared about getting seriously hurt.

Again.

"I've already told Mc Gonagall and Madam Pomfrey everything that happened" James said shortly. "A jet of red light is all I remember and I have no idea who'd want to..."

But Dumbledore held up his hand to silence him.

"I have spoken to professor Mc Gonagall and I am well aware of the fact that you have no idea who attacked you" Dumbledore took a sip from his tea. "However, I would like to share some personal thoughts on the matter and ask your opinion on them. That way, we might be one step closer to finding the person responsible"

The thoughts started spinning through James' head again and he felt utterly confused. For some reason, he found himself staring absentmindedly at the teapot placed on the table in front of him. He couldn't bring himself to say anything and unfortunately Lily seemed to be having the same problem.

Dumbledore, who followed James' gaze, gave him a small smile and nodded towards the teapot.

"Tea?"

Why did he care so much about all this?

James shook his head impatiently and eventually managed to ask the headmaster the biggest and most important question of all:

"You believe me?"

His voice was full of disbelief, for even though neither Mc Gonagall nor Madam Pomfrey had really admitted to thinking that he'd got it all wrong James knew that that was the case. Dumbledore, however, looked perfectly calm and sincere when he responded:

"You have not given me a reason not to believe you, James. So naturally, I do"

There was a short silence during which James wished he was better at showing people what he really felt. If only Dumbledore knew how much it meant, how important it was, that someone believed him...

"Thank you" he finally said and Dumbledore nodded slightly before saying:

"I am also aware of the fact that you do not think that the two death eaters who murdered your parents are behind the attack on you in Hogsmeade"

For several reasons, James had no idea what to say. He'd like to know where Dumbledore had gathered this piece of information and wondered whether the headmaster had a completely different opinion on the matter.

Did he think that those two death eaters actually were behind the attack? But why?

James tried to look anywhere but at Lily when he responded:

"If they were interested in hurting me they would have done so... that night"

He tried not to think about how weak his voice sounded and was almost relieved when Dumbledore replied, since it at least seemed to make Lily turn to look at headmaster instead.

"Did you ever consider the fact that they might have been given new orders? Or that they, simply put, didn't bother following them the last time?"

James pressed his lips hard together. He knew where Dumbledore was heading with all this and as true as it probably was, he didn't like to hear any of it. It had been almost half a year since his parents died and yet it was still too exhausting to dwell on the fact that Lord Voldemort was getting stronger and stronger each day.

Besides, if the darkest wizard of all time was after him there really wasn't much he could do about it.

"No" James mumbled, glancing up at Dumbledore. "No, I didn't think of that"

"I have personally discussed the matter with the Head of The Auror Office and as you probably know they are still doing everything they can do find them"

James stopped himself from letting out a snort. He knew perfectly well how little information he'd been able to give the aurors when they asked him questions about what happened that night; the description "one male and one female" wouldn't get them very far. And nothing had changed since then, unless one counted the fact that he constantly heard their voices in his nightmares...

"They have two aurors patrolling Hogsmeade and the local area should they come back" Dumbledore finished, interrupting his thoughts.

James, who still didn't understand why the headmaster seemed so willing to put his whole heart into this, muttered:

"Whoever did it must have been gotten help from someone at Hogwarts. How else would they know that I was going to Hogsmeade?"

"It could be luck" Lily suddenly suggested.

James jumped at the sound of her voice, seeing as he'd almost forgotten that she was in the room. Dumbledore nodded silently.

"It could be, ms Evans. Or maybe, they simply got the wrong person. Maybe James was not even their target"

James desperately wanted to believe this, but something stopped him. For ever since that day in Hogsmeade he'd had a bad feeling about all this and no matter how much he wanted to he just couldn't shake it off.

"Or..." Dumbledore continued, causing James and Lily hold onto his every word. "They have one or several sources here at Hogwarts"

The slytherins a little voice inside James' head whispered. Their parents are death eaters and they've always hated you.

But he didn't speak his theory out loud, for two reasons. Dumbledore, the headmaster, was not very likely to hold accusations against some of his students without proof. He probably wouldn't believe James anyway, seeing as he was going on and on about house unity.

Not to mention the fact that Lily would kill him if he accused Snape.

James could tell from the look on Dumbledore's face that he didn't have much more to say and soon he stood up and waved his wand. The teapot and the cups suddenly disappeared.

"It's getting late and I am sure that you want to make sure you get your rest before the big game tomorrow. Good luck, by the way"

He suddenly sounded very cheerful and James smiled weakly, having almost forgotten all about the game against Slytherin. What if he'd play against a student who, together with his or her death eater parents, was behind the attack on him in Hogsmeade? The thought made him feel sick.

"Thank you" he just mumbled and before leaving the common room Dumbledore said:

"Remember that help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it. Do not be afraid to contact me if there is anything you need. Meanwhile, I'll do my best to look into all this. That's a promise, James"

After a moment, James had to look away from the headmaster's intense gaze, repeated his thanks and even managed to give him a small smile. Then, after having wished him and Lily a good night, Dumbledore disappeared through Godric Gryffindor's portrait.

Lily

As soon as Dumbledore had closed the portrait behind him Lily let out a sigh of relief, almost as if she'd been holding her breath during the headmaster's entire visit. She turned to James, who was still quite pale looking, and muttered:

"That was weird... I've never heard that the headmaster has come to visit the Head Boy and Head Girl in their living quarter before"

"Yeah..." James replied quietly and Lily could see the worry etched on his face. "Yeah it was pretty weird"

Lily had no idea what to say and James didn't seem very keen on talking, either. For a short while they both just stood there in silence, lost in their own thoughts. Lily found herself wondering what he was thinking and what he must be going through at the moment. Of course, he must have some idea who was behind the attack...

She cleared her throat, wondering whether trying to comfort him would be a bad thing since they weren't even friends. But seeing him like this without saying a word felt completely wrong, too.

"I'm sure they'll find the person responsible for the attack"

"Or persons" James replied without looking at her. "I have no idea how many they were"

This was it. Lily knew that the question she'd been asking herself for weeks was getting dangerously close to slip out of her mouth and there was not much she could do about it. But if she asked, if she spoke her thoughts out loud, she might lose the little trust she'd earned today.

But did it matter? Did she even care?

You care about this, Lily told herself firmly. And if you never ask you'll never know.

"Do you think... I mean, could it really be the same persons who..."

"Who wanted to finish what they started?" "Who murdered your parents?"

She couldn't say the words out loud. She was already about to cross a line...

"They let me live" James voice was so hollow sounding Lily could barely hear him and he seemed determined to look anywhere but at her. "If they'd wanted me dead they could have just finished me off that night. But I guess if Dumbledore thinks it's them, it could be"

Lily felt paralyzed. She had never heard James speak a word of that night, ever. In fact, she was pretty sure he hadn't even told Sirius much about it. She desperately wanted to say something, something that would make him feel all right, but she had no idea what that might be.

A simple "I'm sorry" had never been enough. And it never would be, either.

Obviously, James could sense her discomfort and got ready to leave their common room.

"It's been a long day" he said shortly. "I'm going to bed"

Before he turned around their gazes locked and at that moment Lily felt sure that none of them would ever forget, but still not speak a word of, what had just been said between the two of them. She had a feeling he'd just opened up more to her than to anyone else.

"Evans"

Her thoughts were interrupted by his voice and when she looked his way she could see that he'd turned around to face her again. She held her breath, waiting.

"Thank you. For believing in me"

He sounded so calm. Honest. Lily found herself lingering onto his every word.

"Don't mention it" she replied, trying to her best to look unbothered. "I'm sure you would have done the same for me"

James didn't say anything and she swallowed, grabbing some courage to speak up again:

"I just... I have a bad feeling about all this"

There was something in his eyes that made her think that this statement didn't surprise him. Still, he slowly repeated:

"A bad feeling?"

Lily nodded, pressing her lips hard together. The words felt almost poisonous, forbidden, when they left her mouth:

"That this is all just the beginning"

Author's note: Took me a bit longer than usual to get this chapter up, but at least it's a bit longer than they use to be! I've spent the last couple of days in Berlin and therefore I didn't get much time to write.

By the way, 100 followers is awesome and it'd mean so much to me if you review and tell me what you think! :)