The Snow Brings Some Truth

"I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me"

Oasis - Wonderwall

When Lily woke up the next morning she found herself rushing over to the window the moment her eyes snapped open - the ground was already covered in white and it was still snowing. She couldn't prevent herself from letting out a small squeal of delight; no matter how old she got she would still always appreciate the first snow of the year. Feeling a lot happier than she had the other night when Dumbledore came to visit Lily hurried to get dressed and then left her bedroom. The common room was deserted and James was nowhere to be seen. She assumed that he'd headed down to the quidditch pitch already.

Did he and the rest of the Gryffindor team had a problem with playing in this weather?

Of course not, Lily told herself a moment later as she exited through Godric Gryffindor's portrait. Given thought of all their practise sessions, they wouldn't even mind if a hurricane was expected.

"Good morning" Alice said cheerfully when Lily sat down next to her at breakfast. "Fancy heading outside later?"

Lily grinned back at her best friend. Thankfully, she was not the only one who still enjoyed snowball fights...

"Count me in, after the game of course. Thank god we have the whole day off"

"Yeah, I bet Dumbledore likes the snow as much as you two" Amelia pointed out and then turned her head to look at Sirius, Remus and Peter who were sitting a few seats away.

"Hey Black! Tell Potter we'd better win today, I bet three galleons on Gryffindor"

Sirius smirked back at her, wearing that confident look on his face that always had Lily reminded of James. Well, before everything happened, that was. The unofficial leader of the Marauders hardly ever looked like that anymore...

"Don't worry, they have worked really hard to prepare for this game. Slytherin doesn't stand a chance"

Meanwhile, Amelia received looks of disbelief from both Lily and Alice. Once she noticed this she raised her eyebrows and shrugged innocently.

"What?" she asked and for a moment Lily was left staring at her, not sure what to say.

"You actually bet money on something as stupid as quidditch?" Alice finally asked and Lily hurried to agree.

Amelia rolled her eyes and grabbed a piece of toast before replying:

"It's not stupid. Besides, it was only three galleons! It's not like I'll lose a fortune if Black turns out to be wrong..."

"Yeah but still..." Lily interrupted her, not buying her friend's reason for betting. "Think of the things you could buy for those money! A handful of butterbeers, I'm sure..."

But now it was Amelia's turn to interrupt her:

"If quidditch is so stupid..." she started, casting another quick glance at the Marauders. "...then why do you insist upon watching the game?"

Lily was not prepared for this question and therefore, she had no idea what to say. Amelia looked awfully smug and kept looking in Sirius' and the others' direction. What was that about?

"Perhaps you just want to watch a certain someone fly..."

Lily, who'd chosen that exact moment to take a sip from her goblet of pumpkin juice, coughed violently and shook her head fiercly. Once she regained her ability to speak she glared at both her friends before choking out:

"That's rubbish and you know it..."

"Is it really?"

Amelia was obviously not prepared to drop the matter and Lily silently wished she hadn't said anything about the betting in the first place. To get it all over with she simply muttered:

"Well, you're all going aren't you? And no matter how boring I find quidditch it's better than spending what could be several hours up here in the castle all alone"

That was actually true. These days, being alone for too long made Lily feel nervous and she was more comfortable around her friends and people that she trusted. Yes, that was the only reason why she wanted to attend the quidditch game. That was it.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Alice suddenly stood up.

"Well, if we want to make it down there in time we'd better go now. The game starts in fifteen minutes"

Lily and Amelia both stood up and, once they'd all wrapped their Gryffindor scarves tightly around their necks and put on their winter cloaks, headed outside to watch some flying and greet the first snow of the year.

James

They were down by 40 points. It was not a very big deal, really, but James still hated the thought of it. Gryffindor's second game of the season, against Slytherin, had been going on for almost half an hour and the snow that had started falling some time during the night had not stopped yet. In fact, something close to a storm seemed to be on its way and when stealing a look at the stands James could see that most students and teachers had covered their heads with their cloaks and buried their faces in their scarves.

They could not lose. They just couldn't.

"Not too self-confident now, are you Potter?"

One of the Slytherin chasers, a seventh year named Nott that James had always despised, smirked at him evilly with the Quaffle still in his hand. The slytherins on the stands all cheered when he prepared to, once again, throw it towards the Gryffindor goal posts. However, he was prevented by the Gryffindor chaser Joseph Bell who somehow managed to steal the Quaffle from his opponent and pass it over to James.

"Go on! Take off before the idiot realizes it's gone!" he called and James caught a quick glimpse of the furious look on Nott's face before he did as he was told.

Joseph's actions and words were really all it took for him regain every piece of strengh and confidence he'd ever had. He leaned forward on his broomstick to gain speed, soared towards the Slytherin keeper who suddenly looked very nervous and prepared to throw the Quaffle...

The Gryffindor stands exploded with roars and applauds once he scored. The sounds filled James with feelings he hadn't felt in a very long time - happy feelings. He could do this. This was what he was good at. And there was nothing stopping him from making the very best of it...

During the next twenty minutes he managed to score four times, without really knowing exactly how it happened. Joseph Bell and the third Gryffindor chaser scored one time each and suddenly, Slytherin were down by 20 points. Meanwhile, the Gryffindor seeker Miranda Williams soared around the pitch, keeping her eyes open for the small, Golden Snitch.

"And that's another goal for Gryffindor!" the commentator called out, having no idea his words made James even happier.

What could possibly go wrong now? They had it. They were going to win this. Tobias Smith and everybody else who'd ever doubted him would have to eat up their every word... He was okay. In fact, he was fine again and now it was finally obvious for everyone to see. Nothing wrong, all right.

Nothing wrong, nothing wrong, nothing wrong...

The three Gryffindor chasers were in the middle of an offensive when it happened. It went so quick James had no chance trying to stop it, like he always did. Out of nowhere, with the worst possible timing, the images and memories all crashed down on him like a bucket filled with ice cold water. One second his eyes had been focused on the Quaffle in Joseph's hand. The next all he saw was green light. Their terrified screams. Pain and fear like he'd never experienced it before.

Why did this happen now? Why couldn't he control it?

James felt utterly furious with himself when he accidentally dropped the Quaffle. The slytherins booed and then cheered once one of their own chasers caught it.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Joseph exclaimed but James didn't reply.

He pretended like he hadn't heard the question and simply took off on his broomstick again, feeling how his pulse quickened and his heart started to beat abnormally fast. This had never happened to him before. He'd always been able to turn it off when he had to. Was something wrong with him? Did his brain not work like it was supposed to?

He felt sick.

That's when his eyes accidentally met a pair of green ones on the Gryffindor stands. Lily looked right back at him, furrowing almost as if she was trying to figure him out. Then, she gave him a small smile and remarkably enough, James could feel his breathing going back to normal again. He felt strangely... calm. All she'd done was look at him and suddenly he could focus again.

The game. They needed to win.

Slytherin had scored three more times but it didn't take long before James got ahold of the Quaffle. Now, both teams had 80 points. The commentator barely had time to announce it, however, before Miranda soared past James' ear, the Slytherin seeker following close behind.

It was over in a heartbeat. Miranda had caught the Snitch and Gryffindor had won the game. The stands erupted into louder applauds than ever before and when James looked at the teachers he could tell that most of them wore wide smiles on their faces, too. He couldn't help grinning as he and the rest of his team landed on the ground to take part in the celebrations.

Just like with the game against Ravenclaw they'd done it. At that moment, quidditch was all that mattered. When James stood there, smiling so widely he thought his face might split in two, he knew it would all be okay. What had happened before was nothing, thanks to Lily Evans.

Lily

It was in the midst of cheering Gryffindor students making their way back to the school that Lily spotted him. Snape was standing there, casually leaning against a tree but still looking very focused as he kept glancing around. He seemed concentrated. Like he was searching for something. Lily's heart skipped a beat once her brain put two and two together.

He was searching for her.

As if on cue their eyes met and she didn't have time look away before Snape had motioned for her to come and join him. Lily hesitated. She'd told herself again and again that she'd had enough of him and that she'd completely ignore him this year. Still, there was a part of her that was curious of what he might have to say. Snape hadn't tried getting her attention once this term and whilst she appreciated that Lily wondered what was so important that he had to bring it up now, right after the quidditch game that his house team had lost with 150 points.

Why was he suddenly willing to swallow his pride?

Telling her friends a quick "I'll be back" Lily slowly made her way over to her former best friend, feeling like she was approaching a dangerous wild animal. She had no idea what this might lead to and what he might say or do. Was this a bad idea? The thoughts kept spinning through her head and before she knew it most students had left the grounds and once she reached Snape they were almost the only ones left.

"Hello Lily" he said, glancing down as if he were afraid to meet her gaze.

She tried really hard not to think about the awkwardness within the situation.

"Snape" she replied cooly and as soon as she spoke his name the painful memory entered her mind once again:

"I don't need your help, mudblood".

She still hated him for that. So much.

Snape cleared his throat and once their gazes locked his black eyes betrayed him; Lily saw how nervous he was. Was he really going to try to apologize again? And why now?

"I just... I figured it's been so long since we talked..."

"That's because I have nothing to say to you" Lily interrupted him, grabbing her wand inside her robes out of pure instinct. "I'm nothing but a filthy mudblood to you, remember?"

Snape sighed heavily, hands in his pockets and with a look of defeat on his pale face.

"I thought you might have forgotten about that..."

"I will never forget it"

She knew that that was the truth. She would never forget that day. She would always remember how something had broken inside of her at his words. She'd felt so betrayed, stupid and pathetic for believing that he actually trusted her the way she trusted him...

Feeling like she had to say something only to hide her weakness, Lily added:

"But it doesn't matter anymore. 'Cause even if you hadn't said it, our friendship would have ended at some point. You know I'll never accept the path you've chosen, Sev..."

She hadn't meant to call him by his first name but he barely seemed to notice. Instead, Snape hurried to open his mouth and pointed out:

"How do you know I'm still like that? How do you know anything about me now that we never talk to each other anymore?"

He had a point, Lily had to admit that. But it was not enough. Far from it, actually.

"I've seen who you hang around with" she said quietly, glancing down at her shoes only so she wouldn't have to interpret the look on his face. "And it's not like I don't hear things, Sev. I know what you've done..."

"We haven't bothered you and your friends once this year!"

"Then what about what happened in the corridor before Potions a few months ago?" Lily hadn't meant to say that but there was no turning back now. "I wouldn't exactly say that that proves that you and your friends have changed..."

Snape stared at her, looking very confused.

"What are you talking about?"

Dear Merlin, why did she bring this up? It most certainly had nothing to do with this and Snape would definitely want to know why she even cared... But there was no going back now. She had to prove her point and so Lily swallowed before saying:

"Bellatrix Lestrange... She said those things to Potter about his parents, not too long after they'd died. And you and the others just stood there..."

"So now you're defending Potter? After everything he's done?"

The words sounded almost poisonous when they left Snape's mouth and he looked utterly disgusted.

Lily opened and closed her own mouth several times, not sure what to say. However, the bad memory of Snape was suddenly replaced with newer, lighter ones. James apologizing for how he'd acted during the prefect meeting. James not bothering her once during their work together in Potions. James laughing at her childhood anecdotes in Hogsmeade. James opening up to her, admitting he had weaknesses just like everybody else...

"All I'm saying is that people can change"

Her voice was so low she wasn't sure Snape had heard her at first. But then he just snorted loudly and crossed his arms defiantly.

"Potter hasn't changed" he snapped. "He's just using his parents' death as a big fat excuse to make everybody feel sorry for him. And it's obviously working"

He nodded towards Lily who, once again, remained speechless. The images in her mind were replaced and she thought of everything she and the wizard standing in front of her had once shared. She thought of their childhood, how things went awfully wrong and where they were standing now. How did it come to this?

"How can you say that?"

Her words came out as a mere whisper and to her great surprise, Snape paled and his eyes widened. Almost as if he couldn't believe what he'd just said.

"I'm sorry, Lily, I..."

"NO!" She was angry now, too angry to care about the consequences. "Perhaps it was one of your friends who did it? Their parents take credit for being murderers, don't they? And it's probably the same person who attacked him in Hogsmeade..."

"I had nothing to do with that!"

Snape had raised his voice now, too. For a moment, they were left staring at each other in silence. Then, an awful realization hit Lily and her heart started to pound remarkably faster.

"But you know who did it?"

There was another silence, even more painful this time. She was scared to death of his answer. Snape opened his mouth to reply and then closed it again. His eyes narrowed and he took a step towards her.

"This was a mistake" he said, voice cold as ice.

Then, before Lily could really say or do anything, he was gone. She spent the next couple of minutes in the exact same position at the very same place, feeling strangely numb. Eventually, Alice showed up with a worried look on her face.

"There you are! What took you so long?"

"Snape"

Why was her voice so hollow sounding? Alice gave her friend a weird look.

"I thought you said you'd never speak to him again" she pointed out and Lily sighed heavily, replying through clenched teeth:

"I know I did. But things don't always go as planned"

"You're right about that, Evans"

At the sound of Sirius' voice Lily and Alice both spun around. He and the other three Marauders, James included this time, were standing a few metres away. Sirius grinned widely and Lily barely had time to spot the snowball in his right hand before it came soaring towards her...

James

He had told Sirius again and again that this wasn't a good idea. From previous years James had learned that Lily seemed to love the snow just as much as he did - but that did not mean she would appreciate being hit by a snowball right after what had seemed like a quite intense conversation with Snape.

What had they talked about, anyway?

To James' great surprise however, Lily did not scream at Sirius. She did not look angry and she did not grab her wand. She simply stood there, staring at the four Marauders in disbelief and opening and closing her mouth several times. James was expecting an outburst any second now...

He was hit right in the fact with a big, ice cold and wet snowball and yet all he could focus on was the lovely laugh still ringing in his ears. Her laugh. Lily Evans had decided to join the game and it didn't take long before James realized that she and Alice both seemed to be quite good at snowball fights...

Hell, even Remus seemed to be enjoying himself and had completely forgotten about his bag full of library books that would surely be his death if Madam Pince discovered they were all wet. Shortly after the quidditch game James' worries had returned and he'd, once again, started thinking about the memories he hadn't been able to push to the back of his mind.

But Lily's face, her laugh and smile changed all that. He remembered how he'd looked into her eyes and everything had suddenly just seemed... fine. Whenever she was near he felt okay. Safe and strong. And that's what he desperately wished to tell her when they were all making their way up to the castle several hours later, clothes soaking wet but really happy that the first snow had finally come.

Lily

"Ugh! I'm soaking wet!" Alice exclaimed as soon as she and Lily entered the Gryffindor common room.

The latter had decided to join her friend for a while, feeling like she desperately needed to share what Snape had accidentally told her earlier... Once she and Alice had both gotten into some dry clothes they sat down in their favorite armchairs in front of the fireplace, sipping on some hot chocolate that one of the school house-elves had brought for them. Lily made sure that the common room was almost deserted before she started telling Alice everything that had happened between her and Snape earlier.

Well, she left out the part where she questioned her own decision to blame Snape for what Bellatrix Lestrange had said to James in the corridor before Potions several months earlier. Lily still didn't know why she'd done it or why it even bothered her. James himself had bullied people countless of times, hadn't he?

He deserved it, a little voice inside her head whispered. Snape was right not to interfere.

No, Lily told herself again and again. He didn't deserve it. No matter what he's done in the past nobody deserves being treated like that. Ever.

Once she was done with her story Alice looked both confused and doubtful. She furrowed and seemed to be looking for the right way to express herself. Eventually, Lily helped her out:

"What is it?"

Alice hesitated and then, taking a small sip from her hot chocolate, she started:

"I don't know Lily, it's just... How can you be so sure that that meant that Snape did know who attacked James in Hogsmeade? Perhaps he was just mad with you for jumping to conclusions and..."

"You didn't see his face" Lily interrupted her friend, shaking her head slowly. "Alice I've known him for over seven years, I can tell when he's hiding something"

Alice was silent for a moment, obviously contemplating her friend's words. Eventually, she asked the question Lily had already asked herself a hundred times that day:

"Are you going to tell James?"

Lily remained silent. Eventually, Alice continued:

"'Cause I don't know if I would have. I mean, you and James might be civil towards each other these days but you're still not friends, are you?"

"No" Lily said, feeling a strange sense of disappointment at this statement. "No, we're not. And even if I did tell him, what would I say? Snape might know who attacked you in Hogsmeade and it just might be the same person who killed your parents?"

When her friend didn't say anything Lily spent some time going through the possible scenario in her head. Then, she shook her head absentmindedly and mumbled:

"It's too much. I'm not sure Potter can handle that"

She didn't notice the weird and yet interested look her friend gave her at these words. Then, Alice actually smiled to herself and said:

"You know, this might sound... barking mad but I was actually having a great time today. Potter and the others are not so bad once you get to know them"

She cast Lily another quick glance which the latter did not returned. She smiled back, though.

"Yeah... It was nice"

For the rest of the night the thoughts kept spinning through Lily's head. What did Snape know and how would she get him to tell her about it? And above all, should she tell James? Then, another thought crossed her mind. A year ago, the mere idea of telling James anything would have made her laugh.

I guess people really can change, Lily thought to herself as she made her way back to her own dorm several hours later. And despite feeling worried about everything she'd found out this day, she couldn't help smiling to herself when she remembered the actual snowball fight she'd had with James Potter and his friends.

Everything was heading in a completely new direction but for the first time ever, she was not so sure that that was a bad thing.

Author's note: I've had A LOT of schoolwork to attend to during the past couple of weeks and that's the main reason why it's taken me so long to update. I'm actually graduating from the Swedish version of high school in less than a week and even though I'm really excited that feeling is sort of mixed with sadness, angst etc lol. There are so many great persons that I'll miss! :(

Anyway, thanks for reading! From this point, James' and Lily's relationship will start moving forward faster... If you have time you're more than welcome to leave a review and tell me what you think, as always! :)