Disclaimer: I do not own Danger Mouse or any canon characters. They are the property of Brian Cosgrove and Mark Hall. I do own Dr. Moore and Agent 32.

Notes: More of Danger Mouse's darkened past is being revealed, this time to Penfold.

Warnings: Mentions of self-harm, torture, attempted suicide, death.

Still platonic, though they are starting to get affectionate, but no romance.

I hope you enjoy this.

(Linebreaks still hate me, so I will use DMEP)

DMEP

Last time, we found out a dark secret about Danger Mouse's past, and it looks like it is Penfold's turn to learn of it too.

Penfold stood at the bedroom door. He could already hear the quiet sobs sounding from his best friend, and the door wasn't even open. This isn't my fault, is it...? He reached up to the knob, turned it and stepped inside. "DM?"

The mouse paused in his weeping. "Oh! P-Penfold! Excuse me, I'm just..."

The hamster approached the bed, climbed onto it, lay down beside him and embraced him. "I'm sorry, DM."

"Wh-what?"

"I don't know what happened in here to make you this way, but I feel like if it hadn't been for me, you wouldn't be like this. I'm sorry."

"Oh. No, it's not exactly like that." He sniffed and returned the embrace. "Just some bad memories being revived."

"About your own past?"

"Mm-hm." He sighed and held the hamster close, placing a paw on the back of his head and holding him so their foreheads were touching. "A very difficult time. Dr. Moore suggested I share it with you."

"Eh? Um, if it's too hard to talk about, you don't have to."

"It's already out there anyway."

"But, DM, if it's what's made you so upset, maybe we should leave it for now."

"No. I need to tell you."

He bit his bottom lip. The concern in Agent 57's voice when telling him to hurry to Danger Mouse's side made it clear what was wrong was something very serious. "Agent 57 knows about this, doesn't he?"

"He was there through most of it."

He wanted to ask what was wrong, but he'd been the one to tell Danger Mouse not to talk about it if it was too much. "DM, I..."

"It's alright. I'll tell you. This happened years ago when I was still young. I was a trainee agent."

Penfold listened intently to what his best friend had to say.

DMEP

Agent 57 sighed before approaching Dr. Moore. "I know you can't discuss what you spoke of with DM. But, please at least tell me this much; is he in danger again?"

"There is a possibility. You might need to stay here. Just as he needs to keep an eye on Mr. Penfold, you may need to keep an eye on him."

"I thought as much."

DMEP

"That's when everything went wrong. You've already seen how eager I was when younger, right?"

"That time you were turned into a schoolboy and I was an old fellow?"

"Exactly. I got ahead of myself and got us caught."

"Chief..."

"Agent 32 tried to keep me safe by telling them I was just some child who got caught up in everything. I wanted to tell the truth, but he wouldn't let me get a word in. I think those fiends somehow suspected it, because they next decided the best way to punish me would be to have me watch Agent 32 be tortured to death."

Penfold inhaled sharply. He was starting to guess where the story was headed.

"I refuse to describe it, the memories are fresh enough in my mind, I don't want to put it into yours too. Back-up arrived, but by then, it was too late. Agent 32 told me with his dying breath that what happened was not my fault."

"Oh, DM..."

"Other agents tried telling me the same thing. I started falling into a very bad mindset. I tried seeking help from a doctor, but because they weren't through the agency, I couldn't say more than someone had died. They said it was just grief and did nothing. I got worse."

"How much worse, DM...?" He was whispering. He had a feeling he could guess how much worse.

He released him from his hold, sat up, rolled up his left sleeve and pushed aside the fur on his wrist. "I did this one night."

Penfold gasped. Tears filled his eyes as he saw the scar that had been hidden under his best friend's fur. "DM, I..."

"It didn't end there. That's only one of them. There are more that I will reveal later. For now, I want to keep my clothes on."

"Y-You don't have to show me them..."

"I feel like I must."

"It still got worse, didn't it?"

"It did. I actually attempted suicide one night. Agent 57 found me."

"Agent 57 did?"

"When I regained consciousness in the hospital, he gave me quite the tongue-lashing. I deserved it though. He begged for me to let him help me. I owed him that much, so I agreed to it. I was in hospital for a few days to have a psychological analysis. It was found I had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression as a result of what had happened. When I returned, Agent 57 was putting a safety plan into action. The same way I have done for you. I wasn't entirely pleased at first. However, I came to realise what he had done really was for the best. I was starting to go downhill again, quite rapidly."

"Do you mean you considered attempting suicide again?"

"I do. I'd been going through therapy, but I was still struggling. Because of Agent 57's precautions, instead of turning to a razor, I turned to him. I talked about it, I cried and he listened and comforted me. He helped me through it when I felt most alone."

"DM..." He clung to the mouse and felt him return the embrace. "I'm so sorry! I have been such an idiot! No wonder you're going so far to keep me safe if you've been through something like that! I feel like my concerns are nothing compared to that! I'm..."

"Shh, don't feel like that, Penfold. Your concerns are still very worrisome. I'm not telling you my past to say my problems were worse, get over it, I'm sharing it because I want you to know I really have been there. I want you to know that you're not going through this alone. I can understand those feelings of despair, of hopelessness. I can understand how it feels to think everything would be better if gone. If you ever feel like that again, Penfold, please come and talk to me. I'll listen to you, I'll hold you, cry with you, help you. You're my best friend, I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me anything. I don't want you to feel like you're alone when that couldn't be farther from the truth." He felt Penfold trembling and heard him let out quiet sobs. He bit his bottom lip and squeezed his eye shut, clinging to the hamster for dear life. "Penfold..."

DMEP

The sobs had silenced, but neither rodent moved. "I've been complaining about your safety measures, but now, I know otherwise. I'm sorry, DM. I'll put up with it."

"Thank you, Penfold."

"Is there any chance of you being in danger?"

"I'm hoping there isn't, but those memories have been revived."

"Then, we'll have to keep each other safe. I don't know how we can, but we'll have to."

"I know. Thank you for listening to me, Penfold."

"Just as you keep saying you want me to come to you if I need to talk, you should know you can do the same thing."

"Talk to myself? Wouldn't I seem a bit barmy?"

Penfold couldn't help but chuckle. "No, I mean come and talk to me."

"I know what you meant. Just trying to lighten the mood a little. It has been quite heavy."

"My fault there."

"We're both to blame."

"How? I mean, I was the one who started this with wanting to die."

"But, I still should've known better and prevented it from getting that far."

"I know you've been through it. But, I kept it hidden."

"So did I. That's why I should've realised sooner. I know how to keep it hidden. Come now, we shouldn't be fighting about this."

"Were we fighting?"

"Well, it was starting to become an I blame myself for everything argument, at least." He pulled back slightly and gave Penfold a kiss on the forehead.

"What was that for?"

"Just feeling emotional right now, as well as thankful I have you as my best friend. That you're still here."

"Well...thanks, DM. Do you feel ready to come out now?"

"Yes. I'm ready now. Talking with you helped a lot more than crying by myself would've."

"Um, I'm sorry I just entered the room without knocking, but there was a feeling I should just enter."

"It's alright, Penfold. If you had knocked, I would more than likely have forced myself to calm down again. At least having you see me like that allowed me to feel a bit more open."

"I don't take pleasure in seeing you being vulnerable."

"Nor do I in regards to yourself. If anything, seeing you upset just breaks my heart."

"You too, DM."

"Well then, we'd best step out before Dr. Moore decides to leave."

"Are we having our partner therapy right now?"

"It would be better to get it done sooner than later. Why? Do you wish to postpone it?"

"I feel very tired right now. I just want to lie with you and get some sleep."

"I have to admit I feel the same. Then, let's go arrange a different time with Dr. Moore to return. We should also set Agent 57's mind at ease."

"Good point."

The embrace was broken, but they refused to let go of each other's paws as they left the room. Sharing the past helped Danger Mouse feel a bit closer to Penfold than he already had been.

DMEP

Agent 57 almost lost his composure upon seeing his old friend step out of the room. "DM! Are you alright now?"

"I will be, 57. I have Penfold to thank for that."

The squirrel looked down to the hamster and smiled tenderly. "Thank you."

"Is Dr. Moore still here?"

"He is."

"Good. We'll be needing to discuss having an appointment rescheduled."

"I'm guessing you would rather have partner therapy tomorrow after all?" Dr. Moore asked as he approached the other rodents.

"Yes. Penfold and I both feel too worn out to want to discuss more at the moment."

"Very good then. How about the same time tomorrow?"

"That would be fine, thank you. We'll be here all day."

"Right. After the session tomorrow, we can discuss what will happen next for both of you. For now though, I shall take my leave."

"Cheerio, Dr. Moore," Penfold called.

The gerbil tipped an imaginary hat, turned and made his way out the door.

Agent 57 looked slightly uneasy. "I can already guess what you and Dr. Moore discussed, DM. He didn't tell me any details, you don't have to worry about that. But, I could guess because you needed time to yourself after he stepped out."

"We did discuss that," Danger Mouse responded quietly.

"I thought as much. The memories are revived now?"

"All of them."

"I see." He inhaled deeply. "I know you need to keep Penfold safe, and surely he can do something to help you, but..."

Danger Mouse smiled softly and looked down to Penfold. "Would it be alright if Agent 57 used your room for the timebeing?"

Penfold nodded. "I'll be sleeping in your room anyway."

Agent 57 sighed in relief. "I wouldn't normally ask this, but with those memories being revived...I can't help but worry about a repeat of the past."

"It's understandable. You're welcome to stay here until you know we're both going to be alright," Danger Mouse responded.

"I'll still leave you two to have your baths, but, I just thought it might be a bit easier with a little extra help. For both of you."

"I'm thankful for it." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. "Those are for the locked cabinets. Also, you'll need to change the combination on the lock sealing the medicine cabinet. Thank you for staying, but don't you have missions to attend to?"

"I spoke with Colonel K not long after I sent Penfold in to check on you. He was also worried about those memories being revived, but since I did such a good job keeping you safe last time, he wants me to take a break from my missions to help you both get back into top mental condition." He noted the mouse and hamster both really did look exhausted. "For now, why don't you two get some rest? You look like you really need it. In the meantime, I'll take care of things around here."

"Right. Thanks, 57." He looked to his assistant. "Come along, Penfold."

Penfold nodded. "Right, Chief." He walked alongside Danger Mouse, returning to the bedroom.

DMEP

The mouse let out a yawn as he lay down on his back. The hamster cuddled up against his side, so he wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Rest well, Penfold."

"You too, DM." He stretched up and placed a tender kiss on the mouse's cheek.

"Hm? What was that for?"

"Just because I am so happy I have you as my best friend."

He smiled tenderly and closed his eye. "You too."

DMEP

In the living room, Agent 57 sat on the sofa, his head in his paws. He'd been hoping he would not have to repeat anything that happened years ago, but unfortunately, fate works that way. He only hoped he'd be able to help just as much as he had back then.

DMEP

With the pillar-box currently housing three residents who are sharing in deep pain, one has to wonder what will happen next. Will Agent 57 be able to help our heroes? Or will he find himself falling into despair? Let's hope not. Find out in the next installment.

DMEP

After-notes: So, now Penfold knows of DM's past and Agent 57 will be staying with them. I hadn't originally planned on that, but considering the current circumstances, it would be a good idea if he did. I'll try to keep him from falling into despair, just so someone hasn't. Of course, he will still find himself feeling a bit mentally drained at certain points.

I referenced an episode at an earlier point in the chapter. The episode was Tampering with Time Tickles and was the one in which Greenback's time bombs turn Penfold into an elderly hamster and DM into a schoolboy.

You know, this is probably the only good thing about me having a dark mindset. The fact I can come up with darker stories like these instead of just lighthearted fluff.

As mentioned in the earlier notes, while DM and Penfold are showing affection, this is staying as a platonic fic. Romance is only in my reboot fics.

Thanks for reading. You don't have to review, but if you choose to say something, please do not flame. Constructive criticism is fine however.