Chapter Thirteen:

One Month Later

I lean back against the cold cement wall, trying to ignore the muffled announcements coming from the speakers above my head. The subway station is packed. Normally, crowds don't bother me, but today, I feel my annoyance spike every time a businessman with a briefcase or a tired-looking office drone walks through my field of vision. I don't want them to block my view of Barnett.

He's waiting by a pillar, scanning his surroundings instead of heading toward the tracks. Even though he doesn't have a destination in mind, he doesn't look out of place. He's wearing a long grey winter coat, just like everyone else. He blends into the crowd perfectly. Sometimes, I can't help but wonder how many of the normal-looking people that I see on the street every day are actually murderers, rapists, and child molesters. It's a pretty sickening thought.

I lower the subway map I grabbed to give me some cover and spare a glance over at Munch. Cragen paired us together for this one. We're several yards away from the meeting point, close enough to observe, but nowhere near close enough to hear anything useful. That's Alex's job. She's in a nearby office, recording and listening to everything that comes through Sam Cavanaugh's wire.

"How much longer, do you think?" Munch asks, looking back in Barnett's direction. He pretends to scan the crowd, and his eyes don't linger there for too long. Both of us know how easily spooked perps can be, especially when they know they're doing something illegal. "They should have sent Sam in by now."

"Don't know." I reach up to adjust the small speaker in my ear. "Elliot? Where are you?"

The reply comes in quickly, but there's a little static. "Near the ticket booth. I'm about to move again. He can see me."

"Quiet." Alex interrupts the conversation. "Sam's about to make contact. We'll send you in as soon as he gets us what we need." There's a harsh edge to her voice, and I know her well enough to sense how nervous she is. This was her idea, and even though she's been working with Sam for almost four weeks, she's all too aware that one slip could ruin everything.

Part of me wishes I could have stayed in the back room. We wouldn't have been alone, so I couldn't have smoothed away the lines on her forehead or rubbed away the tension in her shoulders, but maybe my presence would have offered her some comfort. But that's not my job. When I'm at work, Alex can't be my first priority the way she is at home. There's a sixteen year old kid who needs me a lot more.

Munch and I look up just in time to see Sam walk up to Barnett. He's nervous. I can tell even from this distance. His steps are halting, and his shoulders are slumped. They start talking, but I can only see the back of Sam's head. There's no way to tell what he's saying.

One minute passes. Then two. It feels more like a year. For a brief second, I catch a glimpse of Fin passing by. He moves quickly, like he's in a hurry to get somewhere, but Sam tenses up anyway. Barnett notices. He reaches out, folding an arm around his shoulder. I still can't hear, but I can just read his lips over Sam's shoulder. "I won't get you in trouble, okay?"

Another thirty seconds. Still nothing from my earpiece. I keep expecting to hear Alex's voice again, or maybe Cragen's telling us to go in and grab him. Even though the station is still fairly noisy, it feels oddly silent to me.

Elliot passes by next, pulling the collar of his grey coat up around his face. Sam doesn't notice him walking through the doors. I'm relieved. If the kid looks any more nervous, Barnett is going to make a dash for it. I can see it in his body language. They both look like wires that are about to snap.

Barnett takes a deep breath. I watch him reach out with one hand, and my stomach lurches when he strokes Sam's cheek. I force myself to keep looking, but I fold the map over in my hand. I have a feeling Munch and I are going to have to run soon.

I'm right. A few seconds later, Cragen's voice explodes in my ear. "Pick him up! Pick him up!"

Alex starts overlapping with him. "Get him outside, don't let him near the tracks!"

Munch and I start walking in unison, weaving through the crowd and toward the pillar. Barnett sees us over Sam's shoulder, and I can read the panic in his eyes. Alex and Cragen were right. He's about to bolt. I reach into my coat for my badge anyway. "Roy Barnett? Can we have a word with you ple-"

He pushes Sam away and darts off through the crowd. I try to lunge after him, but it's too late. He's got several feet on me already. Before I can make my way around the pillar, Elliot explodes out of nowhere, trying to grab his shoulder. But Barnett is too desperate to be stopped. He shoves Elliot aside, shoving him to the ground and sprinting for the double doors.

I move over to help, but Elliot picks himself up before I can get there. "Stay with the kid," he says. "He's headed right for Fin. I'm going after him."

It goes against my instincts, but I nod my head. Fin and Elliot can handle this. As Elliot hurries off, I turn back to Sam. Munch is with him, trying to offer some comfort. The expression on Sam's face reads nothing but pain. It's a look I'm all too familiar with. I want to reach out, to tell him that it's okay, but there's no time. "Come on. We have to go." The three of us head out at a brisk walk, dodging past a few surprised commuters on our way.

We meet up with Fin and Elliot just outside the doors. Fin's got Barnett slammed up against a sign near the sidewalk, and Elliot's only a few steps away.

"You haven't identified yourself!" Barnett grunts, struggling against Fin's hold on his arms. They're twisted behind his back.

Elliot flips open his badge. "You already know who we are, don't you, Roy?"

Barnett keeps trying to fight his way free, but Fin only rolls his eyes. "Don't worry. We're gonna get real intimate before you know it." The cuffs go on, and they're marching toward the squad car just as I walk up to the sign. I catch a glimpse of Cragen and Linda Cavanaugh coming from the other direction, but I only spare them a brief look. Alex is between them, and my eyes fix directly on her. Her expression is completely blank aside from a small frown. It's a very bad sign.

"What the hell just happened?" I ask as they stop in front of us.

Cragen sighs. "Kid warned 'em."

Linda rushes directly over to Sam and folds a protective arm around his shoulder. "It's okay, you did good," she murmurs, trying to drag him away. Before she does, Sam reaches into his shirt and pulls out the wire, plopping it angrily into Cragen's hand. There's no way to know whether he's angry with us, or with himself. Probably both.

I turn back to Alex. "We got something, right? After all that, he had to say something that we can nail him on!"

Alex's lips press into a thin, firm line. She shakes her head. "Not enough." She walks away from me without another word.

. . .

Fin, Munch, and Huang are waiting for us when we walk out of the interrogation room. I can see the hopeful looks on their faces. It makes the tightness I'm carrying in my chest hurt worse. I avert my eyes, and Elliot shakes his head. "Nothing," he tells them. "Barnett clammed up as soon as his scumbag lawyer got here. Not really a surprise, I guess…"

"No, not really," Huang says. He's standing beside Cragen with his arms folded across his chest. "This isn't Barnett's first experience with law enforcement. He knows our limits."

I sigh and lean my hip against my desk. My back still aches from sitting in the rickety interrogation room chair. Elliot and I just spent well over an hour interviewing Barnett, but I knew he wouldn't say anything after the first two minutes. "He knows we don't have anything on him. All he has to do is keep his mouth shut, and he wins."

"Not necessarily," Much says. "Sam can still go and testify before the Grand Jury, or we can find more evidence..." A split second later, Sam comes tearing around the corner and into the bullpen with Alex at his heels. All of us whip around to watch him storm across the room. "Or maybe not." While everyone else is staring at Sam, I steal a quick look at Alex. She's paler than usual, and her hands are shaking at her sides. I have no idea what she said to make Sam this angry, but it must have been terrible.

"Sweetheart?" I recognize Linda Cavanaugh's voice before I even see her. She rushes through the door of Cragen's office to meet us and pulls Sam into her arms. "Sweetheart, wait, what is it?"

He jerks away from her, and when he speaks, his voice is on the verge of breaking. "I wanna go home."

"Well, Sam, come on, we can talk about this..."

"No, I - I don't wanna do this!" He runs from the room before any of us can stop him, pushing past a surprised officer at the door.

There is a long pause. At first, I expect Sam's mother to go after him, but she stays where she is. Her eyes narrow, and they lock on Alex. They're sharp, accusing. Alex's shoulders drop. When she speaks, her voice is softer than I expect. "Mrs. Cavanaugh, I… I'm sorry."

"You said it would be over. You said nothing would go wrong."

I push away from my desk, preparing to step between them, but Cragen speaks up from behind Linda Cavanaugh's shoulder. "Nothing went wrong. We've still got him in custody."

"The only reason I came to you was because I didn't know what else to do! He didn't want to call the police."

"You did the right thing," Huang says. He shifts forward, just enough to put himself in the same space. "With Sam's help, we can put Barnett away for a long time." While he tries to soothe her, I steal another glance at Alex. She looks frozen. Her face does not move, and neither do her eyes. They're staring straight ahead, but I can't tell what she's looking at. I haven't seen her this numb since she walked in to find me looking through her copies of Joe Poletti's stories in the living room of the apartment. Some part of her has completely shut down.

Linda Cavanaugh shakes her head, taking a step away from us. "We tried to help you. It didn't work."

Huang reaches out to her. "You've already come this far…"

"No. I'm not going to put him through this again. We're done." She turns around and walks out, heading for the same doors that Sam ran through less than a minute before. They slam behind her. All of us remain silent, staring at the empty place where she was standing.

Cragen is the first to speak. "Where's Barnett now?"

The others look at me. I tear my eyes away from Alex. "He's processing," I say. "He'll be out on bail by tomorrow afternoon."

"Which means we've got until then to build a case against him without Sam Cavanaugh. Any chance on finding other victims?"

Munch and Fin start volunteering ideas. Barnett's old therapist, his computer, the usual avenues. But part of me knows it won't be enough. Barnett's smart. He knows how to cover his tracks. He's been through the legal system before, and he knows how we operate. Without a victim, and without anything useful from Sam's wire, we're screwed.

I look at Alex one more time. Her familiar determination is creeping back into her face, but this time, it's tinted with doubt. I can see it lurking around the edges. Her jaw is too tight, and her blue eyes are a little too cold behind the frames of her glasses.

"Alex, I assume we've got cause for a warrant?" Cragen asks.

She gives a brief nod of her head. "Plenty. You'll have it by the time you get there." To anyone else, the answer would have seemed confident. I'm the only one who can see the other emotions behind it. She's scared. Scared that this case is going to fall apart, and scared that it's her fault. The worst part is, she's probably right.

. . .

AN: Sorry about the long stretches between updates. My wedding is in just two weeks, so I've been a bit preoccupied, but I promise there's much more to come. I've got seven more chapters sketched out, and I think that only two of them are going to pull dialogue directly from the show: the famous/sexy "you work for me" speech by Alex, and the infamous hospital scene. The rest is all going to be original material. Follow me on Facebook (/RaeDMagdon), Twitter ( RaeDmagdon), or Tumblr (raedmagdon dot tumblr dot com) if you want to know when they're live immediately. Also, I've started a new project on Tumblr called Kissing The Prince. You should all check it out! n_n