Edgeworth: Witness, your name, please.
April: April May! At your service! *wink*
Court: HELLLLLLO NURSE!
Judge: Order! An introduction should not require any reaction from the crowd! The witness will refrain from wonton winking!
April: Aww… Yes, Your Honor.
Phoenix (Thinking): This is not good… She's already captured the heart of every man in court!
Edgeworth: Tell us, where were you on the night of September 5th, when the murder occurred?
April: Um… gee… I was, like, in my hotel room? Tee hee. I checked in right after lunch.
Edgeworth: And this hotel is directly across from the Fey & Co. Law Offices?
April: Mmm… that's right, big boy.
Judge: Please testify to the court about what you saw.
April: Certainly! It was, like, 9:00 at night. I looked out the window, y'know! And then, oooh! I saw a woman with long hair being attacked! The one attacking her was the mousey girl sitting in the defendant's chair! Then the woman, like, dodged one side and ran away! But that girl, she caught up to her and… and… She hit her! Then the woman with long hair… She kinda… slumped. The end. That's all I saw. Every little bitsy witsy! *wink*
Judge: Hmm…
Edgeworth: Well, Your Honor?
Judge: I see. It is a remarkably solid testimony. I don't see the need to trouble the witness any…
Phoenix: W-wait, Your Honor!
Judge: Yes, Mr. Wright?
Phoenix: What about my cross-examination!
Judge: I thought the witness's testimony was quite… firm. Didn't you?
Edgeworth: Mr. Wright… I understand you were Ms. Mia Fey's understudy, were you not? You must know her techniques well. Her cowardly ways of finding tiny faults in perfectly good testimonies…
Phoenix: H-hey! How dare you!
Judge: Well, Mr. Wright? Will you cross-examine the witness?
Phoenix: I'll gladly proceed with the cross-examination.
Phoenix (Thinking): If only because I have a feeling Edgeworth doesn't want me to! She has to have some weakness!
Judge: Very well, you may begin your cross-examination!
Phoenix: Okay. First off you said you were looking out the window at 9:00 on the day of the murder. What I want to know is why.
April: "Why"? Like why what?
Phoenix: Why did you look out the window? Were you expecting to see something?
April: Oh, well, um… gee!
Phoenix (Thinking): What? That's it? She can't get out of this question that easily!
April: I sort of, y'know. I had a feeling!
Phoenix (Thinking): Well I have feeling she's trying to avoid the question! Maybe I should press a little harder on this one?
Phoenix: Surely, you must have had some reason to look out your window at that time of night!
April: I… oooh!
Edgeworth: Objection! Mr. Wright I will not have you badgering my wintess!
Phoenix: B-badgering?
Edgeworth: You insist on needing her with these trivial questions. I really don't think it should be allowed.
Court: Yeah! Yeah! Stop him! The poor girl!
Judge: Order! Mr. Wright, you have been warned.
Phoenix (Thinking): Poor girl!? What about poor me!?
Phoenix: Okay, but you said you saw a woman with long hair being attack. Are you referring to the victim, Mia Fey?
April: Um-hmm!
Phoenix: And you claim that the one who attacked her was the defendant. But how? How do you know she was the defendant?
April: Huh? Well… y'know! S-she had a girlish physique. Women know these things. Look… I-I just know, okay?
Edgeworth: There was only one person at the scene of the crime with a short, girlish figure. The testimony is bulletproof, Your Honor.
Phoenix: Hold on a minute! That testimony stinks!
April: W-what!?
Phoenix: Miss May, are you telling the truth? Did you really see the defendant!?
April: Urp!
Judge: Mr. Wright! What's the meaning of this?
April: Yes, what is the meaning! Somebody tell me because I'm clueless! About this, I mean!
Phoenix: Okay… If you had really witness my client, Maya Fey, you would have noticed her clothes before noticing her physique! No one wears clothes like this on a daily basis! And I'm no expert on fashion, but her hairdo looks far from normal to me! However, the witness's testimony mentions neither of those things! The testimony is bogus!
April: But… but!
Judge: Still, we don't know if she was dressed that way the night of the murder.
Nick: She was, Your Honor! I can conferment!
Judy: I can conferment too!
Phoenix: I saw her wearing these clothes as well! And so did Detective Gumshoe! What do you say to that, Miss May?
April: Rowr! What are you trying to say, you mean lawyer! I-I saw what I saw. I… just didn't think all the trifling little details were necessary, darling.
Judge: Miss May. The court would like to remind you to please omit nothing in your testimony.
April: I'm sorry, Your Honor. I'll be a good girl. I promise. *wink*
Judy: Give me a break!
Judge: Your testimony again, if you would.
Phoenix (Thinking): Darn! I almost had her!