Author's note: Happy new year! 2014 hasn't been great to me so far but I hope that will change soon. Anyway, here's the next chapter. It took some time to get it ready and I didn't really know where to finish it. I promise there will be some action in the next one though ;) It involves Lily having a bit too much to drink and …well. You'll just have to wait and see hehe. Enjoy!

Fire

"The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in
Heaven knows I've tried"

Idina Menzel - Let It Go

"They're getting rather good"

Amelia, who was usually not the slightest into quidditch, watched the players on the Gryffindor team with great interest. They were all up in the air, gathered around James who seemed to be discussing tactics while gesticulating animatedly with his hands. Having talked to him quite a lot during their study sessions in the library Lily had come to realize that to James, quidditch was more than just a game. It was a lifestyle. She knew how much the upcoming game against Hufflepuff meant to him and surprisingly enough she found herself wanting victory for Gryffindor almost as bad. He deserved it.

Maybe that was the main reason why she had agreed to come when Alice and Amelia had decided to watch the team's practice at nine o' clock on a Saturday morning. The game was less than a week away now and somehow Lily felt a need to make sure that James did all right. As a friend she wanted to be there for him and she kept telling herself that there was nothing strange about that. Friends support each other, right?

Her thoughts were interrupted when Alice snorted loudly.

"Are you surprised? James seems to think that losing this game would be as bad as dying…"

She drifted off, paling slightly and Lily realized why. Alice was never mean to anyone on purpose but of course not completely flawless, either. She had simply just spoken without thinking.

"And I can't believe I just said that" she added quietly. "How thick could you get? I know what he's been through…"

Suddenly Lily heard James' voice inside her head, from where he'd yelled at her in Hogsmeade on Valentine's Day. "None of you know how I feel". What did Alice know, really? As far as Lily knew, he still hadn't opened up to anyone and talked about what he'd actually witnessed that night.

"Calm down, it's not like he can hear you from up there anyway" Amelia said. "What I would like to know is how he has so much time to train his quidditch team when he practically lives in the library with you"

She turned to look at Lily who glared at her two friends as they both started to giggle.

"Very funny" she muttered sarcastically. "And we don't live there! If you must know, I've convinced him to take some time off to focus on this game. I think it would be really good for him if Gryffindor won. Maybe then he would actually feel like it all mattered"

Alice and Amelia looked at each other and then at Lily, causing the latter's cheeks to turn bright red.

"What?" she asked nervously after a rather long silence.

Alice was the first one to speak.

"You sound like you really care for him"

Stupid, stupid blushing…

Lily pretended to watch intently as the girl who played seeker caught the Snitch for the tenth time.

"We're friends, that's all. Are you not supposed to care for your friends?"

"Yes but…"

Amelia didn't seem to know how to finish her sentence.

"What are you two talking about anyway?" Alice asked curiously. "During your study sessions, I mean. And don't say it's all potions and spells and old boring books"

Lily bit her lip, thinking hard. She and James had talked - a lot actually. But now that she was asked to tell what they'd been talking about she had no idea what to say.

"Uhm… Life, I suppose"

Amelia giggled again.

"That sounds very deep and interesting"

"He's actually a lot smarter than I first gave him credit for"

"Oh yeah? Maybe more handsome, too?"

Her friends were laughing out loud now and at that very moment, Lily could have sworn that James looked their way from up in the air. She decided to get revenge right here and right now. Alice's relationship with Frank was going rather smoothly without any big bumps along the road. Now, Amelia's love life, on the other hand…

"I don't recall you've told us very much about a certain Sirius Black" Lily said triumphantly and now it was Amelia's turn to blush.

"There's not much to tell" she muttered under her breath.

"Oh come on, Amelia" Alice urged. "Surely you want a second date with just the two of you, talking and kissing over a coffee at Madam Puddifoot's…"

"I can make you a deal" Amelia interrupted them, causing Lily and Alice to fall silent at once. "If Gryffindor wins the game and if there's a party held in the common room I might just give it a shot"

Lily and Alice grinned at each other.

"This could get interesting" Lily stated.

James and the other two chasers were throwing the Quaffle to each other, taking turns on scoring in one of the three goalposts. James didn't miss once and Lily found herself wondering whether his very fit body might have something to do with it. How did he look without a shirt?

If Alice and Amelia hadn't been seated right next to her she probably would have slapped herself in the face. What in Merlin's name was she thinking and why? She was going mad. There was no other explanation. Nothing but pure madness could cause her to want to see James Potter's naked torso. That was it.

You're friends, Lily, she told herself angrily, without really opening her mouth. And that kind of thoughts are not allowed where your friends are concerned.

"It's nice though… seeing him like that" Alice said thoughtfully, watching James as he was soaring through the air towards the goalposts once more. "He seems so relaxed and pleased. Almost like the old James"

Without the bullying and pranks and everything else that had made him intolerable…

"I think quidditch does that to him" Lily replied without thinking. "When he's flying he doesn't need to spend all his time looking back and dwelling on things. He's free"

"Are you sure it's quidditch that does that to him?" Amelia asked seriously after a long silence. "Or could it be you?"

James

It seemed like spring was rather early this year. The thought didn't make James very excited though, as he was lying on one of the couches in the Head students' common room. When rummaging through his trunk earlier he'd found the old Golden Snitch he always used to play with before. He remembered how his father had told him to put it away during dinner, how Lily had called him pathetic and said that he was just trying to show off. That was probably the truth. James didn't even know he still had it, he couldn't remember packing it when he left for Hogwarts this September or after Christmas. Here it was, though, and he absentmindedly let it go before he caught it again and again. Like he prevented the poor thing from escaping.

It was only March but today some students even sat outside doing their homework. From his position on the couch James could see the clear blue sky and the sunlight was annoyingly close to hitting him in the face. He let go of the Snitch again.

"Eventually you need to decide what you want".

James caught the Snitch a bit rougher than necessary, clenching his fists to prevent himself from doing something really stupid. Why could people around him never just let things be and let him handle it all on his own? Why did another problem always have to wait just outside the door as soon as James started to think he might have gotten rid of the old one? If it wasn't his grief it was Lily and if it wasn't Lily it was his fucking house that his aunt expected him to know what to do with. How was he, James, supposed to know anything? And seeing as he was now the owner, did that mean he would have to sign tons of contracts and actually go there to collect things and…

It had been bad enough when his aunt had told him about his parents' will, how they'd left it all to him. This was worse. This was too much.

He watched as the Snitch soared above his head, just ready to take off when he wrapped his hand around it again. At that moment the portrait of Godric Gryffindor opened and he could see from the corner of his eye how Lily came inside. She looked rather troubled by the sight of him. Great, James thought. Did McGonagall tell you I failed every single essay you've helped me writing? Only a second later he realized he was being unfair. Lily had nothing to do with this and it was not her fault there never seemed to be an end to James' all troubles.

Why me?

Lily walked into the room, eyeing the Snitch curiously just as James caught it. She sat down on the couch opposite him.

"I haven't seen that one in a while" she stated and James knew she remembered just as well he did how he never used to let that particular Snitch out of his sight. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing" James replied hollowly for that was the truth.

Lily looked at him for a long while before she continued, nodding towards the window as she spoke:

"You should go outside if you're feeling down. The weather is wonderful"

For the first time since she entered the room, James turned to look at her. He could tell that Lily was one of the students who had spent some hours in the sun today. She even had some freckles on her nose and that made her, if possible, even more beautiful. He looked away.

"No offense, Lily…" he said. "But I really don't care about the weather"

It might as well be a hurricane all year round, what difference would it make? Perhaps then he would at least have a reason why he could never go back to Godric's Hollow…

"I spoke to Se… To Snape"

Lily's voice interrupted James' thoughts and he turned his head sharply, feeling how his heart started to beat faster. Lily was looking down, her hands folded in her lap.

"And?"

It seemed like several minutes passed by before she finally replied:

"… And I couldn't get anything out of him"

It was nothing but what James had always expected, really. Still, it felt like a huge disappointment, especially today. And then, he managed to turn that feeling into pure fury and before he realized what was happening he was on his feet.

"Well then I'll just have to make him speak" he hissed through clenched teeth and didn't let Lily interrupt him even though it was obvious she wanted to. "It shouldn't be that hard, I know of all Snivellus' weak spots…"

James hadn't noticed exactly when it happened but suddenly, Lily was standing up, too.

"You are doing no such thing!" she snapped.

"Why not? It's obvious he's hiding something and I'm sorry, but I actually think I deserve to know what it is"

"I know you do James but please, for once in your life, try to be rational about this! Snape hates you and he wouldn't tell you a thing even if you threatened to torture him with the Cruciatus curse! We'll come up with something, I know we will. But for now you just have to let it go. Besides, remember whose side he's on! Do you want more death eaters after you?"

There was a long silence. James glared at her. He knew that Lily Evans, as always, was perfectly right but on this particular occasion he really hated to admit it. She'd asked him to "let it go". The only problem was, James wasn't sure he could do that. There were so many things he ought to let go of, memories and thoughts that still haunted him. Letting go was everything but a talent of his. He knew she wanted an answer to her question and he shook his head slightly.

Lily seemed to relax and he couldn't help wondering why she cared so much. It was not like she would get into trouble if he confronted Snape again…

"Then we wait" she said, sounding perfectly calm now.

James lost his patience.

"For what, better times?" he snapped. "Because believe it or not, they won't come anytime soon, Lils"

He realized he'd used the nickname again and judging from the look on her face, so did she. Not wanting the situation to be awkward, James tried to look as unbothered as possible. But it was hard when he was still so angry. Lily sat down again and James followed her lead.

"What's gotten you so worked up?" she asked, looking him right in the eye now. "Even before I started talking about Snape you seemed… upset. What's going on?"

James dropped her gaze. It was still in his nature to keep all his real problems to himself. But this was Lily. And somehow, he felt like she truly wanted to share his burdens. She didn't look at him like she was afraid he might break down at any second and for the first time in his life, there was someone who James himself actually wanted to talk to. Lying to Lily was hard and in this particular case, impossible. Because she saw him in a way nobody else did.

"I have to decide what to do with my house" he said quietly.

"The one you used to live in with your parents?"

"Yeah"

Lily didn't say anything and he was glad. It might have been really hard to continue if she interrupted him now.

"They left it to me in their will. My aunt has gone there a couple of times just to make sure it's okay but eventually…" he drifted off. "… eventually I have to go there, too. I don't know if I can do that. I mean, I could never live there again but the mere thought of selling it…"

He barely knew what he'd just said. In fact, he's spoken without thinking, just like he usually did with Lily. It all came naturally.

"James…" Lily said after a long while. "If your parents had known what was going to happen in that house when they wrote that will they would never expect you to live there again. That house can't be empty forever and if you can't live there it might be a great opportunity for somebody else. Maybe you need the money to afford another place to live and you can never feel guilty about selling. They wouldn't have wanted that"

Guilt guilt guilt. It was always the same. Would it follow him for the rest of his life?

"Yeah, but that house holds so many memories" he replied. "I mean, it's the place where I grew up…"

"The memories of your childhood are not in that house, James" Lily made it sound like the most obvious thing in the world. "They're in you! And you'll carry them with you even if you decide to move to… Albania!"

James couldn't help smiling. It was often like that with Lily. One second she made you feel better by discussing your problems and the next she could make you smile, almost like a sort of healing process. She put her hand over his and it didn't feel weird at all.

"There has to be a way to figure out what you truly want" she said softly.

James nodded slightly, silently hoping that she was right. Anyhow, he didn't not really have time to worry about that right now. He had to focus on quidditch. The game against Huffelpuff was going to take place the very next day. He just hoped he was ready.

James

He was pacing, looking up every now and then only to catch the looks of horror on his teammates' faces. Joseph Bell, the sixth year chaser who normally seemed so calm and confident, almost looked sick and Gryffindor's seeker Miranda Williams furrowed in concentration. The others all looked like they were heading for their own executions - or worse. James couldn't say he was feeling any better himself. This was it.

"Okay…" he said, finally coming to an abrupt halt in front of them. "Hufflepuff is good, there's no point denying that. But we, all of you, are great too. Miranda, we all know you'll catch the Snitch if you just believe in yourself. Until then, the rest of us just have to focus on everything we've talked about during these last couple of weeks"

"I think we can do this" Joseph Bell seemed to have found his voice again and James believed he meant every word he said. "During these last couple of weeks you've really showed us what we're capable of"

The others agreed and all gave James encouraging smiles.

It was funny. A year ago he would have praised himself for receiving a compliment like that. He and his large ego would have loved it. Now it was different. Of course, James appreciated what Joseph had just said. But he couldn't for his life see how it would make him better than anyone else. They were all equal and it was because of that realization that they stood a chance now. They all needed each other. And he suddenly felt a strange need to apologize.

"I think you're right, Joseph. And I know it took me a while to see that"

The room was completely silent. James swallowed, feeling how his heart started to beat rather faster than normal. He had their full attention now and he knew why. He had never talked about this with any of them before and even though it was hard he knew it was also the right thing to do. They deserved the truth after everything they'd put up with. After all, he hadn't exactly been a flawless captain this year.

"I owe you all an apology" James forced himself to look up, for there was no going back now. "This past year… It's been a living hell for me"

He didn't know which one of his teammates he should look at so he chose a random spot on the wall instead.

"I've been confused and tired and angry and I've taken it out on people around me. I have taken it out on all of you"

"James…" Miranda Williams started and he already knew what she was about to say.

"No, I need to say this" he interrupted her. "I want to. I'm sorry I haven't always been the captain you deserve. I'm sorry I've yelled at you for no good reason and I'm sorry I simply haven't managed to care as much as I should have. It was never my intention"

There was a long silence.

"Well…" the team's keeper finally said. "Personally, I think Gryffindor couldn't be luckier. I can't believe I'm actually saying this to James Potter, but you should give yourself some more credit, mate"

Once again, the others agreed. James smiled slightly, feeling how the warmth he'd started to feel more and more often lately spread through his body. They really meant it.

"Let's go then" he said, nodding towards the exit. "We have a game to win!"

Lily

James and the other players were lucky this time, for the weather was beautiful. Lily, Alice and Amelia were in the stands, cheering with the rest of their classmates. Gryffindor played well, really well. After almost an hour the keeper had only let in two goals and James and the other two chasers scored again and again. They seemed to always keep eye contact and it was almost like they could tell what the other two were just about to do. Lily was truly impressed. The seeker, Miranda Williams, was as great as always. There hadn't been any sight of the Snitch yet but she had avoided some really nasty Bludgers that the Hufflepuff beaters had shot in her direction.

"You haven't forgotten our deal, have you?" Alice roared over the crowd so Amelia would hear her. "About Black?"

Luckily, Sirius was standing with Remus and Peter a few rows down. Lily and Alice both laughed at the look on their friend's face. If Gryffindor won and if there was a party in the common room later that night things could certainly get interesting. Lily didn't know why, but she felt rather… excited about it all.

Why? she then asked herself. You're not the one who's promised to kiss Sirius Black.

But maybe she would get some time to sit down and talk to James - alone. Of course, they did a lot of that in the library but on a party it would be different. First of all, there would be alcohol. Lily felt pathetic for even admitting it to herself but for the first time in her life she longed for that sensation her friends had talked about so many times. In order to really be able to tell what James was thinking perhaps she needed to drink a glass or two of Firewhiskey. How bad could it be, really?

And she had to know what was going on inside James' head. Had he simply accepted that the two of them would remain friends and that was it? Didn't he want her, in that special way, anymore? And did she, Lily Evans, want him?

No. No, no, no and no.

Or do you?

She tried to focus on the game, anything to take her mind off the matter. Many students around her gasped as Miranda Williams escaped yet another Bludger. Then, out of nowhere, the Golden Snitch showed up. The two seekers soared towards it at full speed and the audience held their breaths. Lily herself couldn't take her eyes off what was happening down at the pitch. She couldn't remember that she'd ever taken such an interest in quidditch before and somehow, she knew why it happened now.

It matters to him, that's why. And you care enough to take interest in his interests.

Great. Just great.

The Hufflepuff seeker was so close to the Snitch now, if his hand had been just a little longer he would have been able to grab it…

"Come on James…" Lily suddenly heard Alice mumble on her right and soon she realized why.

The students watching the game didn't seem to know where to look, for even as the very exciting battle of the Snitch was still taking place, James had gotten ahold of the quaffle and was now soaring towards the Hufflepuff goal posts and the keeper who looked downright exhausted.

"Why would he care about scoring now?!" Lily exclaimed. "If Miranda catches the Snitch Gryffindor will win!"

"But what if she doesn't?" Amelia replied. "Hufflepuff has 20 points now and Gryffindor has 160. If Hufflepuff's seeker catches the Snitch then they will get 170 points…"

"But that means James has to score twice in order for Gryffindor to win anyway!" Realization dawned upon Lily's face. "That's impossible!"

The Snitch was still so close…

"AND ANOTHER GOAL FOR GRYFFINDOR!"

The Gryffindor stands exploded as James scored, they all seemed to have realized that James was determined to win the game even if the Hufflepuff seeker caught the Snitch before Miranda Williams. Lily found herself jumping up and down in excitement. What was going on with her?

The speaker voice soon continued:

"THEY LEAD HUFFLEPUFF 170 TO 20, BUT FOR HOW LONG? WHO'S GOING TO CATCH THE SNITCH FIRST?"

"It's too late" Alice suddenly said. "Hufflepuff will have the Snitch any second now…"

And then it happened. Lily herself had no idea how, but James had scored again. She screamed out loud but no one seemed to notice for her fellow classmates were all going crazy, too. And then, only a split second after James' goal, the Hufflepuff seeker had gotten ahold of the Snitch. The Hufflepuffs all seemed very pleased even though they realized they had still lost the game.

"AND THAT'S THE END OF THE GAME! HUFFELPUFF CATCHES THE SNITCH BUT GRYFFINDOR STILL WINS, 180 POINTS TO 170 THANKS TO TWO EXCELLENT GOALS MADE BY THE TEAM'S CAPTAIN JAMES POTTER!"

"HE DID IT!" Amelia yelled, voice full of disbelief. "HE ACTUALLY DID IT!"

But Lily was not surprised. Suddenly, it was all so obvious. Of course James was going to make it. She had seen the look in his eyes when he talked about quidditch, she knew how it made him feel alive. If there was one single person on earth who deserved this victory it was him. And she couldn't be more happy it was actually happening.

James

"I'm so sorry…" Miranda started as soon as they all landed on the ground. "I really tried, I thought I was so close but…"

"YOU WERE GREAT, YOU HEAR THAT?" Joseph Bell roared and without warning he wrapped his arms around her. "BESIDES, IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW 'CAUSE WE STILL WON! WE DID IT! WE MADE IT TO THE FINAL!"

But James wasn't listening. Sure, the sounds coming from the stands were still loud enough to make someone deaf but it was all drowned out as he watched her running towards him. Sirius, Remus, Peter, Alice, Amelia and the rest of his friends. They were all there. But she was first.

Before he knew it Lily was in his arms and her embrace was tighter than anything he could remember. He hugged her back, too pleased and relieved to even consider the situation awkward or weird. What did it matter if everyone saw them? For this short moment, it was like she was all his. How many times hadn't he wished for this to happen? And now it did…

"I knew you could do it" She whispered the words in his ear and her warm breath against his skin sent shivers down his spine. "I knew it"

Once they broke apart he looked right into her eyes, those green eyes he had always loved above everything.

"Thank you for believing in me" he said and she laughed.

The last thing James saw before she wrapped her arms around him again was how the sunlight hit her dark red hair and made it look like it was on fire. Well, technically speaking, Lily herself was on fire. She always had been and right now, for the first time in months, he was not afraid to get burned.

Author's note: Thanks for reading! If you have anything to say (anything at all!) I would love a review or two.