Hello lovelies! I'm super sorry that it's been a while since I've updated. I've been pretty busy and haven't had a lot of time, but I can assure you I did not abandon the story or all of you! I do have some good news: I have a new work schedule and I should have a lot more time to write now. If all goes according to plan, I'll be back to updating every Sunday, yay! Thanks for sticking with me, you guys are the best! Enjoy the new chapter and don't forget to review!

Tris

We sit on the couch staring at each other. We both agreed to talk, but neither of us has said a word since.

"I don't know how to do this," he finally breaks the silence.

"I don't either," I respond quietly.

We sit in silence for another few minutes.

"Maybe we should start with what you said earlier?" I shrug.

"Okay," he agrees, though it sounds more like a question.

"Why do you think that it's your job to protect me?" I ask.

"I don't think it's my job," he says quickly. "It is my job. It has been since you landed in the net."

His eyes are burning into mine.

"As your instructor, it was my job to teach you how to make it in Dauntless - to fight, to stay alive. I had the same responsibility to every initiate. But you," he pauses, "you were different. You weren't just an initiate. As hard as I tried, I could do nothing but think about you. From the moment I saw you, I was sucked in. I hated having to make you go against Molly and Peter, but the truth is, I hated anytime that you had to fight. I was so worried that you would get hurt. The night that you were attacked, I nearly lost my mind. Every moment that you have been in danger since met you, I have been in agony. I have to keep you safe. I can't lose you. I've almost lost you too many times."

I can barely breathe. All the pain that I've put him through is evident in his voice, and in his eyes. He reaches out to touch me, and I flinch away. More pain flashes across his face and he quickly takes a deep breath. He looks away from me, to the floor, and then to the other side of the room. He moves to get up, but I grab his hand.

"I'm sorry," I say, but it's barely audible. "I don't want to flinch when you touch me, but sometimes..."

I suddenly feel like a hole opened up in the floor in front of me and it's threatening to swallow me. I feel my mind trying to flip a switch, trying to shut off my feelings and keep my mouth shut. I want nothing more than to pretend that none of this ever happened. But I can't do that. We both need this.

"I don't remember a lot," I say when I can breathe again.

He leans back into the couch and stares at me intently.

"But I do remember some things," I continue. "I remember feeling him on top of me. I remember feeling his hands on my body. I remember the panic that took over. And I don't mean to, and I know you're not him, and I love you, but there are times when you reach out to touch me and that panic comes back. It's almost paralyzing but then my body reacts and it wants to get away. It's almost like I have my fear back. But then I see that it hurts you, and I hate myself even more."

"What do you mean you hate yourself even more?" His brows furrow and he leans a little closer to me.

"You were upset and you said that it's your fault, but it's not. It's my fault," I shake my head. "I didn't stop him. I just let it happen."

"That's not true," he disagrees.

"Yes, it is, Tobias. I didn't even fight back. Why didn't I fight back? It's my fault. And I shouldn't have been walking alone. I should be more careful. It was reckless," I shake my head rapidly.

"You didn't do anything wrong," he scowls. "You should be able to walk through the compound without worrying that someone is going to attack you. But, you did fight back, Tris. There are defensive wounds all over you."

"I don't remember fighting back," I look away.

"But you did," he makes me look at him. "Whoever did this, they did something wrong. You should never have to fear walking alone. You shouldn't feel like you have to constantly look over your shoulder. Whoever did this, we're going to find him and I swear..."

He stops talking. He sits there for a moment, opens his mouth to speak, and then closes it again.

"We're not going to find them," I shake my head. "They're smart. Really smart. Erudite smart."

"You're right," he says after a moment of silence. "They are Erudite smart."

He jumps up and starts pacing in front of me.

"What is it?" I ask hesitantly.

"How many people in this city were loyal to Erudite?"

"Too many to count?" I shrug. "I don't get it."

"We've been working to reform the city. I've been working closely with Jack and Johanna. There hasn't been a single person that has tried to interfere with what we've been doing. Why? Just because they don't have a city leader to stand up for them, if everyone that was loyal to Erudite fought back, there'd be another war. And I don't know that we'd be able to fight back this time. Anyone with half a mind can figure that out, let alone someone that came from Erudite. What if this attack on you is their first strike?"

"You think that I was attacked because they want to start another war?" I raise an eyebrow.

"You were the one that stopped the war the first time," he says.

"It wasn't just me..."

"You were the face of the revolution against Jeanine. Everyone knows that you stopped the simulation and that you stopped the Bureau. They don't think they have a chance while you're still around. They get rid of you, so they don't have to worry about you figuring out what's going on."

"You would still be working against them, though. Everyone knows the part that you played in stopping the war, too."

"If they get rid of you, that cripples me. I would be useless. At least, that's their logic. I think there's something bigger going on here."

"So, what are you going to do?" I ask.

"I need to talk to Zeke," he sighs. "We have a lot more digging to do."

"I can help," I suggest.

"You need to stay here and relax," he shakes his head.

"Tobias," I narrow my eyes at him. "I'm not going to let them win."

"Tris," he grits his teeth.

"If your theory is real, then that means that they had every intention to kill me, not just assault me. There is no way that I'm going to sit by and let them think that they broke me."

"We could use that to our advantage. If they think you're out of the picture, they might go forward with their plans," he shakes his head.

"I can't just do nothing," I stare at him.

"Fine," he sighs after a few minutes. "You can come with me to talk to Zeke. But, you need to keep a low-profile."

"You don't have to say it like that," I roll my eyes.

"Like what?" he asks as we walk to the door.

"Like I don't know how to be discrete."

"Oh, I know that you know how to be discrete," he says blocking my path. "I know that all too well."

His eyes burn into mine as I think about all the times that I've lied to him, all the times that I left him when I said I wouldn't. A shiver goes down my spine and I look away.

"Let's go before someone sees me," I push him aside and head down the hallway towards the control room.