Warning: Noncon roleplay, use of the cock, forced blowjob, humiliation kink, rough sex... come on, if you're on the epilogue of this story and you've read any other project by me at all, you know exactly what's coming.

. . .

Epilogue:

Each breath is a roar in my head as I wait beside the door. The living room is dark, but I've been here for so long that my eyes have adjusted. A faint crease of light creeping in from the hallway leaves black fingers of shadow stretched across the floor. Some of them take my shape, so I shift further along the wall, making sure they won't be visible when she finally opens the door.

We've spent the past month working up to this. Alex's thirty day suspension gave us plenty of time to talk, and it gave me plenty of time to think. Rebuilding trust hasn't been easy, but I think we're ready for this. We scripted it out beat by beat. We picked the day before she's supposed to return to work, a day I know she'll be excited instead of depressed. I've come up with my own safe word in case I change my mind. If we're going to try this again, I'm determined to do it right.

My thoughts splinter when I start to hear different sounds above my own racing heart - muffled footsteps followed by the soft jangling of keys. I swallow. Hold my breath. Wait. My palms are sweating inside of my gloves. The knob turns with a soft click, and my shoulders tense. I'm incredibly nervous, but I'm also excited. The heavy pounding I feel isn't only in my chest. It radiates all the way down between my legs, and I'm suddenly more aware of the harness I'm wearing beneath my jeans.

At last, the door swings open. All I can see is Alex's silhouette, but she seems to be glowing in the hallway's light. It catches her hair and the very edge of her face, bringing out their softness. In the split second before I move, I can tell she feels the same as I do, afraid and eager at the same time.

As soon as she steps into the apartment, I lunge forward and pin her to the wall. Even though she's expecting it, I manage to take her by surprise. She nearly screams before I manage to clap my hand over her mouth. Her eyes are wide and more than a little terrified, but they soften ever so slightly when she makes out the details of my face in the dark. She knows what this is, and when she freezes up against me, I can tell it's a deliberate reaction.

I kick the door shut and wait several seconds before I remove my hand. She has other ways of calling this off, but I still want her mouth free just in case. I keep her pressed into the wall with the weight of my body, pushing my hips forward to make sure she feels the outline of the cock I'm wearing against her hip. A shiver runs between us, through her and into me, and I know I have her.

"W-what do you want?" she whispers.

Her fearful stammer is more convincing than I expect, and it takes me a second to collect myself. I'm grateful that we scripted this in advance. "What do I want?" I slide my hand down, teasing her through the thin fabric of her blouse before I slip beneath her skirt. My gentleness fades, and I cup her as roughly as I can. "This."

Alex's breath skates over her teeth, and I can feel the tension in her body as she resists the temptation to arch her back and pump her hips forward. She tries to pull away instead, but there's nowhere for her to go. "Please, don't…"

I cut off the rest of her protests with my mouth. She screams and bites down on my lower lip, but I kiss her through the slight pain, grinding the heel of my hand even harder against her. Warmth seeps through the fabric of her panties and into my palm, and I feel a huge sense of relief. Even though it's not proof of anything, it's consistent with what I know about Alex and her body, and I allow myself to take pleasure in her pleasure.

She tries to squirm free, but I tighten my grip, pulling her away from the wall and twisting one of her arms behind her back. That makes her freeze again, and it gives me just enough time to reach for the restraints tucked inside my jacket. I yank her other arm into place and bind her hands as quickly as I can, only pausing long enough to check that the cuffs aren't too tight around her wrists.

Alex starts struggling the moment she realizes she's trapped. She thrashes, screams, kicks out with her feet. Even though she's putting on a convincing performance, fighting me harder than some of the perps I've collared, it's not too difficult to subdue her. I'm much stronger than she is, and she doesn't stand a chance with her arms behind her back. In the end, I force her to her knees, and she tilts her face up toward me. My heart stops.

She's beautiful, staring up at me with sweet blue eyes behind the crooked frames of her glasses. Her hair has fallen out of its twist, and she is still panting audibly with every breath. With her hands trapped behind her back, the quick rise and fall of her chest makes her breasts strain against the front of her blouse. An uneven flush is spreading across her face and around her collarbone, vivid enough for me to see in the dark. And suddenly, I need her. Not just want her, but need her with an ache so painful and desperate that I can barely stand it.

A wave of possessiveness rises in me, and instead of fighting it, I welcome it. I shove one hand into her hair and yank forward, ignoring her wordless protests. "Unzip me."

Alex stares up at me in surprise. This small detail wasn't in our script, but I see her eyes grow even larger when she realizes what I'm asking. She shakes her head and turns her face away, and her glasses slip even further down the bridge of her nose. I fist her hair tighter, forcing her to look up at me. My other hand slides up from her shoulder to her throat, squeezing just tight enough to feel her pulse hammer beneath my fingers. I would never choke her even if she asked, but I feel her heart rate pick up at the threat. "I said unzip me."

"With what?" She manages to give the question an edge of defiance, struggling against the cuffs, but her pulse spikes again as she confirms that she's truly helpless.

I smirk. Since she's so committed to her role, I can't help but follow along. "Figure it out." I drag her face back towards me and wait. She tries to pull away, but eventually, my patience wins out. After giving me a very realistic glare, she takes my zipper between her teeth and tugs. She manages to stifle most of her gasp as the cock pushes out through my open fly, but I can feel it against my palm anyway. Her head jerks back, but the nearly pleading look reflected in her eyes and the way her lips are parted give me all the encouragement I need to keep goading her.

"See something you like?"

She shakes her head and refuses to answer.

I loosen my grip on her throat and let my hand wander down to the collar of her shirt, playing with the top button of her blouse for a moment before popping it open. She flinches as another inch of fabric peels away from her skin. "No?" Another button, another flinch, this time followed by a visible shudder as the lacy edge of her bra peeks into view. "That's not what I heard." The third button leaves most of her breasts exposed, and I feel myself twitch. "When I visited your office, they told me that ADA Cabot lives to suck cock."

Alex bites her lip in embarrassment. Her eyes dart down to linger on the shaft sticking out from my pants, but only for a moment. She hardens her face and slumps her shoulders, trying to show as little skin as possible. I hook my finger through the middle of her shirt and drag her forward again, forcing her to arch her back as I tear through the rest of the blouse. The last few buttons pop and scatter, and her shirt falls open, revealing almost everything. I tug her bra down next, freeing her breasts and leaving the cups around the middle of her torso. Her nipples are already hard, so it's easy to take one between my fingertips and tug.

Just as I had hoped, a surprised groan escapes her lips. I leave her breasts and stroke my hand down the side of her cheek in a soft line, enjoying the way the gentle touch coaxes a shiver from her tense body. "That's a good girl. I knew you'd like it. And you have such a pretty mouth…"

Suddenly, pain pierces the side of my hand. Even though I'm expecting it, I'm not fully prepared when her teeth sink into my skin. It's a real bite, not permanently damaging, but hard enough to hurt. I jerk my hand back. "Fuck!"

The curse is instinctive, and Alex drops character for a split second, looking up at me with genuine concern. But I recover quickly. I pull my arm back, and my palm connects with the side of her face. The slap is more noise than force, but when I pull my hand away from her cheek, I can tell that the red mark I've left behind will take a few minutes to fade. Her eyes shine brighter in the darkness, swimming with unshed tears, but even though I give her a few moments to say her safe word, I know I won't hear it. She wants me to keep going.

I summon all the pretend-anger I can and grab her chin, forcing her to stare up at me. "You little bitch…" She trembles at the insult, but I don't hesitate. I pry her jaw open and fist her tangled hair, forcing the tip of my cock past her puffy lips. This time, she doesn't resist, but she continues glaring at me. There's resistance as I push forward, and I tighten my grip on her head. "Bite me again, and I'll make you scream to keep your mouth open."

Something in her breaks. I feel the exact moment when she stops fighting. Her entire body relaxes and several more inches of my cock slip into her mouth. Its outline stretches her cheeks, putting the red mark on even more prominent display. She lets out a groan around the shaft, and the noise sends a rush of heat directly between my legs. Pressure is starting to build inside of me, and my inner muscles clutch down around the shorter end of the shaft. "That's better," I say in a slightly hoarse voice, unable to hide all of my need, "but it's going to take more work than that to get me off."

This time, Alex doesn't offer up any protests. She begins bobbing her head, sliding up and down along the top half of the shaft. It glistens whenever she pulls back to suck the fluted tip, and I hold her head tight to keep her there for a moment. The sight of her lips sealed around me and the soft tugs traveling down the shaft send a painful lance of need through my abdomen. She looks beautiful, torn perfectly between pretend reluctance and very real desire, and the contrast has me throbbing against the seat of my cock.

It's difficult to remember how to talk while I'm watching her beautiful mouth work, but eventually, I manage something. "Fuck, you're good at this. Guess you've had a lot of practice… I bet the judges fight over who gets to hear your cases." She pauses and looks up at me, and I catch the tiniest hint of amusement behind the pretend-fear. I have to hide a smile as I pull her hair in punishment. "Did I tell you to stop?"

Alex resumes what she's doing, and my ability to talk disappears again. This time, she lets my cock slide out of her mouth with a slick pop, flattening her tongue against the shaft and dragging it all the way up from the base. When she finally reaches the head, she places a wet, open-mouthed kiss over the very tip. It's all for show, but the sight sends a jolt directly to my clit, and I swear I can feel more than just silicone rubbing against me.

I'm supposed to make her keep servicing me until I come, draw out her humiliation, but I can't help myself. The heavy, pounding ache between my legs doubles every second, and just watching her drags me closer to the edge. I forget that I'm putting on a performance and hold tight to the back of her head, pushing past her lips until I hit the back of her throat. I can't feel the heat of her mouth or the softness of her tongue, but I can feel the motion, the vibrations of each muffled cry, the resistance that meets every pump of my hips.

I abandon the rest of the script. I need her too much.

I thrust as hard as I can without hurting her, desperate to relieve some of the pressure inside of me. I'm so close. So swollen and strained. So full that each movement threatens to shatter me. Against my better judgment, I look down one last time. Alex is even more beautiful than before, and the image sticks at the front of my mind. Her flushed face. The way her hair is half-falling out of its twist. The angry red imprint on her burning cheek. The way the shaft of my cock stretches her swollen lips. And on top of it all, those glasses, pushed down just far enough on her nose to reveal her cloudy blue eyes.

And then it's over. I lose myself, shouting out her name as I come. My release rips through me, shaking me apart with every pulse. It sends shudders up the length of my cock as my clit twitches wildly against the seat. I can't help it. I push just a little bit further, force her throat to take another inch and rake my nails along her scalp. The pressure against my front wall finally bursts, and I let out a deep groan of relief.

But the relief disappears as soon as I come. It's not enough. I'm still tense. Full. Slick and unsatisfied. And when Alex pulls away from my loosening grip and shifts uncomfortably on her heels, biting at her lower lip and letting out a sweet little whimper of need, I feel a fresh stab of hunger. She hasn't come yet. I want her to come. Need her to come. Need to force an orgasm from her soft, vulnerable body and rip her down into a shaking, sobbing mess. Her need is my need, just like every other time.

I drop to my knees, forcing her the rest of the way down onto the floor with a hard shove. She's surprised - I was supposed to take her against the wall - but I don't trust my legs after my orgasm, and I'm too impatient for such a complicated position. I hurry to kneel behind her instead, checking one last time to make sure the cuffs are still in place. With her arms trapped behind her back, she has no way to support her upper body, but her hips are still the perfect height. All I need to do is pull her skirt down around her thighs and snap the flimsy scrap of lace on either side of her panties.

Alex gasps when the fabric flutters to the floor, but it quickly turns into a groan when my hands settle around her hips. She tries to make it a groan of protest, to say another one of the defiant lines she's chosen, but I'm too impatient to wait for it. Without her clothes in the way, I can finally see how much she needs me. How slick and ready and open she is. The swollen bud of her clit is straining against its hood, and the glistening ring of muscle at her entrance is already pulsing. I want to bury myself inside her, push as deep as I can, but I force myself to wait a few more torturous seconds

"Fuck, your pussy's dripping for me." The words send another spill of shimmering wetness down along one of her bare thighs. She arches her spine, lifting hips just a little bit higher. "Needy little slut. I knew you liked sucking my cock, but I didn't think it would get you this wet."

The insult reminds her she's supposed to be fighting me instead of encouraging me. She doesn't try to pull away as I press the tip of my cock against her, but she does manage a fairly convincing, "Please, don't…"

It ends in a scream when I tighten my grip on her waist and thrust forward. It only takes one stroke. She's still incredibly tight, so tight that I can feel every tug of muscle through the shaft, but the first half of the scene has left her a mess. She really is dripping, covering the length of my cock and the front of my jeans. Except for one glistening inch at the very base, I'm all the way in her.

I start to move, drawing out just enough to make Alex's breath hitch in disappointment before I push back in. She writhes against the floor, thrashing and trying to escape one moment, rocking back to take me as deep as she can the next. She's torn, stretched between two extremes, and the muscles in her back and shoulders ripple as she fights against the cuffs. I glance down between our bodies, and I nearly come when I realize that I'm completely buried inside her. Getting her to take that last stubborn inch is nearly impossible.

I skip the rest of the dirty words. We don't need them anymore. All I care about is fucking her. The unbearable pressure returns, twisting deep inside me and pounding harder with each push of my hips. She starts sobbing protests into the carpet, but they're broken and pitched more like pleas. "Stop!" I dig my nails into her hips, rake them down over her thighs. "Too... too much…" I drape myself over her back, lowering myself just enough to sink my teeth into her shoulder. "It - it hurts, you're splitting me open, I-" But I know she wants me to hurt her. To fill her. To leave her bruised and shaking.

I thrust even faster, pushing her past the point of pleasure and up to the edge of pain. I can feel when I hit the line because her body spasms beneath mine and her muscles starts rippling wildly around me. She's about to come. She won't last more than another few seconds. I can already feel her front wall swelling, and I angle my hips to drag over it with each thrust. Having her like this is intoxicating. She's completely open to me. Completely mine. But there's one more thing I need to do.

I let go of her hip and shove my hand between her legs, trapping the shaft of her clit between two of my fingers. The sharp pinch makes every muscle in her body stiffen, and I lean down to whisper beside her ear. "Come for me, whore." There are more humiliating things I could say, more lines I've practiced, but I don't need them. She spasms as soon as I say the words. Her muscles clutch tight around my cock, and a gush of wetness spills around the base, splashing over my harness and soaking the front of my jeans. Even for her, it's impressive.

As soon as Alex comes, my own need flares up again. I forced it down just long enough to make sure she was satisfied, but now that I've made her mine - completely, endlessly mine - I can't wait anymore. I pump into her one last time, groaning against the curve of her throat as her inner walls ripple around me. She's still coming, still shaking with the strength of her release, but she tilts her pelvis to give me just the right angle and squeezes down as hard as she can around me.

Everything I've been holding back comes flooding out. All of the tension. All of the fullness. All of my possessiveness. My clit jerks hard against the seat of the cock, sending shudders up through the shaft. Each contraction untangles the hard knot in my stomach, and every ragged pulse rips through my abdomen. My lips form soundless words against her neck. The only words I can manage.

"I love you…"

I fuck her until I've pushed through my peak and fallen into weak, fluttering aftershocks. She collapses beneath me, splaying out across the floor. Since I'm still buried inside her, I have to follow. Her arms press up uncomfortably into my belly, and I rest my weight on one elbow, hurrying to undo the cuffs. She lets out a long sigh and stretches her arms above her head, flexing her fingers in the carpet and purring almost like a cat. Then, she turns to look back over her shoulder at me, rolling her eyes over the tops of her glasses. "I love you, too, but blowing the judges? Really?"

My face splits in a grin. "Hey, you told me what to say. You didn't tell me who to say it about..."

"You and Elliot are never going to get tired of that stupid joke, are you?"

"Nope."

She sighs again and closes her eyes, resting her cheek against the carpet. "You're all right, aren't you, Liv?"

"Of course… aside from a few teeth marks. That really hurt."

She cracks one eye open. "That wasn't what I meant."

"I know." I search down inside of myself, trying to dredge up any feelings of guilt or shame, but I'm surprisingly calm. I'm exhausted and more than a little sore, but happy. Happier than I've felt in a very long time. I slide my hips back, and although Alex lets out a soft moan of disappointment, she doesn't try to stop me. I roll onto my side, resting my chin in my hand. "I'm fine, Alex. This was… this was how it's supposed to be."

She opens her eyes again, and when she smiles at me, the last of my worries vanish. "Yes. This is exactly how it's supposed to be."

. . .

The End

. . .

AN: Hey guys! Thanks for sticking with me through this story since February. It really was a labor of love, as cliche as that sounds, and it was intensely personal for me. I really appreciate the messages I got about it, too. I like to think I brought one or two people some comfort and peace of mind by writing about this topic. Anyway, I'm certainly not done playing in A/O land (I will probably be writing A/O well after the rapture/end of the world), but I'll probably do a oneshot next. Keep an eye out. Meanwhile, if you're looking for something else to read...

My new novel, And Once More Saw the Stars, is available for purchase on Amazon and Smashwords! Please go check it out (although be sure to read the content warnings). If you could handle this story, &OMSTS should be just fine, though. It's fully illustrated by the fabulous Rachel George, and it tells the story of Lilith, a demon, and Eva, a mortal, who fall in love and travel through the nine circles of Hell to retrieve Lilith's soul. The art is freaking fantastic (and the story ain't too bad either, if I do say so myself ;D). If you've already read it, please leave a review!

www dot amazon dot com/dp/B00P181LKY
www dot smashwords dot com/books/view/489072