To Mercedes Jones: I need you. Can you be at my house in an hour?
From Mercedes Jones: aren't u in ny right now?
To Mercedes Jones: Plane just landed. Can you come?
From Mercedes Jones: b there in an hour.
"You slept with Sebastian?!"
Kurt gestured frantically for Mercedes to lower her voice. "Really? That entire story, George and everything, and you're stuck on the fact that I slept with Sebastian?"
"Well, excuse me but the last thing you said to me about that boy was 'If he was the last gay guy on the planet I'd start dating girls.' So yeah, that's what I'm stuck on."
Kurt sighed and flopped backward on his bed, pulling a pillow over his face. "What am I going to do?"
"Well you're not gonna sit around feeling sorry for yourself!" She snatched the pillow away from him. "What do you want?"
"What do you mean?"
"What do you want?" she repeated. "In a perfect world where anything could happen, what do you want?"
Kurt thought. "In a perfect world I'd want us to get reinstated, and win Regionals, and I'd want to get into NYADA and I guess I'd want George to get some kind of comeuppance -"
The pillow came down hard and fast on his head.
"Ow! What was that for?" he pouted, glaring at Mercedes petulantly.
"Don't be stupid, boy. I know you want that stuff. Sebastian," she said it slowly, drawing out each syllable. "In a perfect world what do you want with Sebastian?"
Kurt's eyes roved around his room, all the familiar things that now seemed oddly out of place since he himself felt so changed. He couldn't quite bring himself to look at Mercedes when he spoke. "I want him. I want to go out with him and tell people he's my boyfriend and slow dance with him to all the songs I love and kiss him for hours in the car and drag him up here when my parents aren't home and -"
"Okay, I get it!" Mercedes regarded him solemnly, shaking her head gently from side to side. "You're in love with that boy. You know that, right?"
As soon as she said it he knew it was true. He was in love with Sebastian Smythe. His heart felt like it was being pulled in two directions, half of it trying to jump excitedly into his throat and the other half trying to sink dejectedly into his belly. Fuck. He was in love with Sebastian. He was head-over-heels kooky in love with a boy who was probably already planning his evening out fucking other men to erase the memory of the boy who he thought had betrayed him. To erase Kurt.
Except, for some reason that probably meant he'd lost his mind, he didn't believe that was what Sebastian was doing at all. He just couldn't believe that of Sebastian any more.
"You know that, right?" Mercedes repeated herself.
"Well I do now!" Kurt grabbed the pillow and smacked her on the arm with it.
"You have to tell him," she said, ignoring the pillow completely.
But Kurt was already shaking his head. "I can't."
"Why? If you love the boy isn't it worth taking the chance?"
Kurt leaned forward and took Mercedes' hands in his own. "I love you for wanting me to, even after what he did to you and David. But you weren't there. In that hotel room, together like that, we were so connected, you know? And I know he knew that was real. He opened himself up to me in every way. He trusted me. It was more than just that night, and I know that's how he felt too."
"So why can't you tell him?"
Kurt leaned back against his headboard and picked up the pillow, cradling it in his arms. "If you could have seen his face, when he found out about the video. His very first thought was that it was happening all over again. That I'd used him just like George did. It was automatic, you know? He has to - he has to figure this out for himself. Remember how you told me that after everything that happened you couldn't just call up David and tell him how you felt? That he had to decide he wanted you enough to take the risk?"
Mercedes nodded.
"Well, the same goes for Sebastian. He has to decide whether he wants to trust me or not. We can't be together if I'm always trying to prove that I'm not going to screw him over somehow. I told him I didn't have anything to do with it. Now all I can do is wait for him to choose to believe that. Or not."
Mercedes looked at Kurt for a long time before she said hesitantly, "And you're sure this isn't just Sebastian being - Sebastian? What if he never meant for it to be more?"
Kurt shook his head. "He said 'next time.'"
"'Next time?'"
"When we were together, I mentioned something I wanted to do and he said 'next time.'"
Mercedes looked at him like he was a little bit crazy.
"Sebastian doesn't do next times," he insisted. "But he said it and I have to trust him, just like he has to trust me. I have to choose to trust him."
Mercedes shook her head. "Are you sure you can?"
Kurt shrugged and gave her a crooked smile. "I love him. What else can I do?"
Mercedes must have decided to be okay with it, because she grinned back. "Well, we could always see if Chandler has a brother . . ."
From The Brightest Star: You have to sit next to me in Glee Club today. I need the moral support.
To The Brightest Star: Why?
From The Brightest Star: Because everybody thinks I'm behind the Warbler videos and I need you on my side so they'll believe I'm not.
To The Brightest Star: Why would anybody think that?
From The Brightest Star: Was that sarcasm? Do you not think I want to get into NYADA badly enough to try to rig Regionals?
To The Brightest Star: I'll sit with you.
Although there were plenty of suspicious glares in the choir room to go around, Kurt couldn't deny that most of them were pointed in Rachel's direction. Flanked by her honor guard (Kurt and a miserable-looking Finn) she ignored them all and focused resolutely on Mr. Schue, who was sitting in front of them all in the pose he always adopted when it was bad news.
"We're still out," he said heavily.
Protesting voices filled the room, creating an unintelligible cacophony until one - Santana's - soared above the rest.
"But they talked to everyone. They met with our parents! We all told them we didn't have anything to do with it!"
Everyone else quieted down, looking to Mr. Schue for an answer.
"There's no doubt the video was sent from our computer lab," he sighed. "And who else besides a glee club member would have any reason to be involved in this? So we're all guilty until proven innocent, as far as the Show Choir Board is concerned. On the up side, without actual hard evidence the school board can't mark anyone's record, but the only way we can be reinstated is if the actual perpetrator comes forward."
"How would that help?" Puck asked.
"If the person who did this comes forward and is removed from the club, the rest of you can still participate, as long as the Board is satisfied you had no knowledge of the cheating."
"But nobody here did it," Artie said. "This is all circumstantial! It's un-American!"
"What if someone did confess?" Sam said quietly from the back. Every head turned sharply in his direction.
"I didn't do it!" he amended hastily. "But what if somebody took the fall? Said they did it and got kicked out for the good of the team? And swore to that Board thing that he acted alone? This is the seniors' last chance. So if one of the rest of us..."
Chatter started up again, some skeptical but some hopeful. Kurt was not at all surprised to see Rachel's eyes light up, but he was a little shocked that everyone else seemed to be seriously considering the plan, too.
"Look, guys, I know that seems like the easy way out, but whoever did it would be banned for life. And it would go in their record." Mr. Schue said.
"I could do it," Rory said quietly from the back. No one in Ireland's going to care about my record here, right?"
Hopeful voices filled the room again, but for Kurt this was the last straw. He jumped up and out-shouted them all.
"No! No freaking way." All the heads now turned in his direction. "If somebody in here actually did it then yes, of course I want them to come forward and tell the truth." He looked around at all of his friends and he couldn't exactly blame them for wanting to find a way out, but this wasn't it. "But we're not letting somebody confess to something they didn't do, just to get reinstated. If we do that, then we're all cheaters. I won't compete on a lie."
Chatter started back up again, everyone arguing for or against the point, Rachel looking at Kurt like he'd personally betrayed her, and Mr. Schue shouting out trying to regain control.
Kurt sat down and let the drama spin out around him.
From Noah Puckerman: is mercedes with u
To Noah Puckerman: Yes. Why?
From Noah Puckerman: u 2 better come out front ur gonna wanna see this
To Noah Puckerman: What?
From Noah Puckerman: warblurs
Kurt ran for the front entrance, dragging Mercedes along behind him. He told himself he was simply grateful for a distraction - any distraction - from the morbid, unending cloud of depression that had hung around the glee club all week. It didn't help that Mr. Schue was backing Rachel up in her insistence that they rehearse on schedule, just as if they were going to be competing at Regionals anyhow. That was really all it was. He needed a distraction.
And his heart was only racing because of the exertion of running down the hall dragging his friend, who kept trying to pull him back.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mercedes gasped as they swerved around a corner. "Where are we going?"
"Puck says something's up outside," was all Kurt could pant back before the main doors loomed before them, propped open as they always were after school, and even before they crossed the threshold he could see navy and red blazers lined up on the lawn in a vee, like migrating geese, with David standing proudly at the center point.
And on the left, last in line, at least a head taller than anyone else, Sebastian.
Kurt didn't realize, until he saw David and disappointment stabbed his chest, how much he'd hoped that whatever this was would be for him.
Mercedes stopped dead at the top of the stairs, some oblivious students still moving up and down around her, then voices began to swell from the uniformed ranks, and little by little the steps cleared until Mercedes and Kurt stood alone. David took two steps forward and opened his mouth to sing.
Everybody needs a little time away
I heard her say
from each other
Kurt drifted to the side, towards where Puck was leaning on the railing, trying to move away from the focal point of Mercedes, who looked completely shell-shocked and as if she wasn't quite sure what was happening. He very carefully did not look at Sebastian. No. This was not about him. It was about Mercedes.
Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to know
"None of us have a chance with these fuckers around." Puck shook his head in wonder.
David was at the foot of the steps now, his face shining up at Mercedes, who was finally getting the picture and looked like she was going to burst into tears at any moment. There was so much happiness zipping back and forth between them that Kurt simply couldn't help himself. He looked at Sebastian.
Who was staring straight back at him.
Hold me now
I really want to tell you I'm sorry
I could never let you go
Tears filled Kurt's eyes. He knew, he knew Sebastian had to be responsible for this. Whatever else he may or may not have decided, he must have realized that David deserved to find happiness in his own way. And that meant that just maybe he'd decided love was something worth trusting.
After all that we've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise to
Some of the people standing around actually picked up the lyrics and started singing along with the Warblers on the chorus, but Kurt only had eyes for Sebastian who, although he was too far away for Kurt to make out his exact expression, seemed to only have eyes for him. And as self-centered as it seemed, Kurt couldn't help but feel that this, Mercedes and David, was really a gift from Sebastian to him.
And after all that's been said and done
You're just a part of me
I can't let go.
As the Warblers held the long last note and Mercedes flung herself into David's arms, Kurt mouthed a soundless "Thank you" to Sebastian. And before all the Warblers except David turned in unison and made their perfectly timed exit, Sebastian smiled.
From Finn Hudson: Mr. Schue says emergency meeting in the choir room at lunch. Tell everybody.
Forwarded message to Le Glee Club Entier: What fresh hell is this?
Kurt really thought Mr. Schuester had no business ever accusing Rachel of being dramatic. He sat dead center in room, in his little chair, completely silent as everyone filed in, took a seat, and stopped talking to give him their full attention. Kurt could usually appreciate a little tension-building, but after a weekend waiting, hoping, dying for Sebastian to call and tell him that the whole David/Mercedes thing had been the first step in deciding to trust love again, his patience for people who left him hanging was wearing thin.
"We're back in!" Mr. Schue finally shouted, leaping up from his chair and spreading his arms wide. There was about half a second of stunned silence, then chaos erupted around the room. People leapt into each others' arms, there were cries of joy and relief and disbelief, and when everything eventually started calming down Finn's voice raised over the others.
"What the heck happened?"
Mr. Schue waited for quiet again. "It seems like whoever actually made the video came forward and confessed."
Noise filled the room once more as everyone started asking questions at the same time. Mr. Schue raised his hands for silence. "All I know is that it wasn't anyone at McKinley. Apparently whoever it was made anonymity a condition of the confession. And since no actual laws were broken, the Show Choir Board agreed. So I guess we'll never know."
"But shouldn't that person be banned just like they said we'd be?" Rachel asked.
"I've been assured that whoever did it isn't a member of or associated with any of the competing glee clubs." Mr. Schue said. "And really, I don't care. We're back!"
Everyone seemed to agree that that was the important point. Everyone but Kurt.
His first crazy thought, before Mr. Schue said it wasn't anyone from any of the clubs, had been that Sebastian had fallen on his sword in some kind of grand romantic gesture. Which was ridiculous. Sebastian wouldn't do that to his own club, and of course Kurt wouldn't want him to. But who else would have come forward? Who else, for that matter, would have wanted to mess with one or both clubs like that in the first place, if not for a competitive edge?
There was one candidate, of course. If the sabotage hadn't been to give someone an advantage at Regionals, then it had to be personal. And much as he hated to think about it, there was one person who had a personal grudge against someone in New Directions and someone in the Warblers. George. George who Sebastian had exposed and who Kurt had eviscerated.
But he couldn't figure out why George would up and confess.
As Mr. Schue outlined their increased rehearsal schedule while Rachel reminded everyone of how grateful they should be to her for insisting they keep up their practices over the past week and a half, Kurt pondered. If George was the one who'd framed them, could that have anything to do with the reason Sebastian hadn't called him? Was he feeling guilty? Or maybe he was just fed up with the fact that Kurt seemed to be dragging George back into his life over and over again. Maybe he had decided it just wasn't worth the aggravation.
Kurt's heart was sinking with that realization when Mercedes caught his eye, still wrapped up in everyone's excitement, and grinned. Kurt mustered up the best smile he could under the circumstances. Mercedes might just be the key. She was spending time with David again, David was Sebastian's best friend, she had to know something.
To Mercedes Jones: If you had any information about the cheating thing, you'd tell me, right?
From Mercedes Jones: what do u mean?
To Mercedes Jones: I mean you'd tell me if David said anything about Sebastian being involved in clearing us, right?
To Mercedes Jones: RIGHT?
From Mercedes Jones: okay, look. U didn't hear this from me . . .
Kurt had never been this nervous, ever. It wasn't even close to the normal pre-competition jitters he was so familiar with. Sebastian was here. Somewhere in this building, warming up with his friends, adjusting his tie or taking a final swig of hot tea or whatever, he was here.
And he'd saved them.
Mercedes hadn't known a lot, but she'd known that it had indeed been George who'd framed McKinley's glee club, and that Sebastian had somehow forced him to confess everything. Kurt desperately wanted to believe that this was a good sign. The Warblers were screwed either way, and had to create a whole new performance regardless of who the perpetrator was, so Sebastian had to have done it for New Directions. For him. They had to talk. They had to and today, Kurt had decided, they were going to.
Kurt reflexively adjusted his own perfectly straight tie and surreptitiously dropped the cup of tea Rachel had insisted he drink into the trashcan. Aural Intensity had given a passable performance in the first slot and now The New Directions, along with everyone else, were filing into the theater for the second performance of the day. The Warblers.
Kurt had typed and erased a dozen e-mails over the past few days. It wasn't right, he'd finally decided. What he had to say was too important, and it was far too easy to misinterpret digital communications. He needed to see Sebastian. He needed Sebastian to be able to look into his eyes and decide if he wanted to trust what he saw there. And he just knew that he'd be able to read, in Sebastian's eyes, whether they had a chance or not. So today was the day. After their performances, of course, because the team had so much riding on this and if things didn't go well with Sebastian then Kurt knew he'd never be able to swallow it down and smile and bounce around on the stage as if nothing had happened.
But after the performances he was going to find Sebastian, put his heart on the line, and force Sebastian to decide, one way or another. Back in that hotel room in New York Sebastian had offered himself to Kurt. He'd laid himself out, made himself as vulnerable as he knew how to be. And now Kurt knew it was his turn to do the same thing. Sebastian must be afraid that Kurt blamed him for his anger and lack of trust, and Kurt realized that he had to show him that one mistake wasn't ever going to be enough to make him walk away from whatever they'd been on their way to becoming.
He must have been dawdling, because Rachel grabbed his hand and tugged him in the direction of where the others were sitting in close formation. The lights were already going down as he fell into his seat, the announcer introducing "The Dalton Academy WWWWarblers!" in his best WWF voice.
Kurt's eyes strained to try and make out Sebastian among the shapeless silhouettes entering and taking their places in the dark. There was complete silence for a pregnant moment, then the familiar beat-boxing started and, still in darkness, voices began to swell.
Muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-muh ma, ma, ma
Muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-muh ma, ma, ma
Rachel's hand clamped down on Kurt's forearm. "Crap!" she hissed in his ear. "This song is perfect for them!"
And it was. Lights suddenly flooded the stage and the Warblers began their intricate choreography, different voices taking up rhythm and harmony, and there was Sebastian, dead center, flanked by the tall blonde - Jeff, Kurt remembered - and his boyfriend, both "Muh-muh-muh-ing." The wall of sound built to a crescendo then cut off, sudden and sharp, and Sebastian's tenor filled the room.
I can't get these memories out of my mind
And some kind of madness
Has started to evolve.
The background voices burst back in, sharp and sudden, then cut off again.
I, I tried so hard to let you go
But some kind of madness
Is swallowing me whole.
Kurt could feel the seats around him shaking. People were already starting to dance where they sat; soon they'd be up on their feet. They couldn't help it. The driving counterpoint of the background singers sent energy ricocheting around the room and there, still and straight at the center of it, was beautiful, strong, impossible Sebastian.
I have finally seen the light
And I have finally realized
What you mean.
He was all Kurt could see, or hear, or feel. The other Warblers continued to move around him in their perfect dance, with harmonizing and counterpoint and cacophonous voices all blending in such sophisticated ways that Kurt couldn't even really be sure how they were doing it. His heart was beating triple time. Perfect as the song was for the Warblers' own special sound, it couldn't, couldn't be a coincidence that Sebastian was standing in front of him singing these words, this song.
"We are so screwed," Rachel whispered.
"I know," Kurt murmured back, eyes never wavering from the tall boy singing about being madly in love.
And he was. He was completely screwed. Because he needed this to be for him. His serenade. So much bigger and more intense than a love song on a school lawn. Because Sebastian was so much bigger and more intense.
Sebastian squinted into the lights just a tiny bit, like he was scanning the audience for someone, and Kurt's breath caught. It would be so like Sebastian to not contact him, to wait for a moment like this, when he could put himself out there, show his hand, and still preserve complete deniability. Just a performance. Until it wasn't.
And when I look back on all the crazy fights we had
Like some kind of madness was taking control
The only problem was that if Kurt was wrong he wasn't sure his heart was going to be able to survive it.
Everyone was on their feet now, dancing, clapping along, and as spotlights began to spin out across the audience Sebastian spotted him at last and their eyes locked.
Yes I know I can be wrong
Maybe I'm too headstrong
Our love is
The rest of the Warblers clustered back around Sebastian for their patented power finale, David's baritone hitting the final "Madness" as hands clasped behind backs, heads bowed, lights went out and the audience erupted in screams and cheers.
Kurt fell back into his seat and when the lights came up the stage was bare and he was finally able to turn his attention back to his teammates. They sat in silence, looking almost as shocked and overwhelmed as they had been when Mr. Schue had taken them on that first field trip to see Vocal Adrenaline. Kurt was grateful for that. It meant his own expression, although coming from a completely different emotion, fit right in.
"When did they learn to do that?" Artie asked faintly. "They weren't that good last year, were they?"
"Oh, I think they had some motivation today that they didn't have last year," Mercedes said, giving Kurt a pointed look.
Kurt's heart leapt a little at the fact that Mercedes, at least, had gotten the same impression he had. That had to be a good sign, right?
A small commotion flared up at the back of the theater. The Warblers were coming in now to watch the next performance, and their friends and family members were crowding around them offering hugs and congratulations. Kurt was turning in their direction, halfway out of his seat, when someone grabbed his hand and he was pulled hard past Rachel's legs and out into the aisle.
"I was just going to..."
Mercedes glared at him. "After our performance!" she said, and she dragged him resolutely in the direction of the exit opposite the one where the Warblers were congregated, the rest of the team trailing behind them. He craned his neck as they passed but didn't see Sebastian anywhere in the crowd. His heart sped up at the thought that Sebastian might be somewhere waiting for him.
But there was no sight of Sebastian as the New Directions made their way to the green room and gathered around the piano for a last-minute warm up and huddle. Mr. Schue gave a quick pep talk but Kurt didn't really hear any of it. He paid attention to the scales, though, singing one set with the boys, the next with the girls. One performance, just one, stood between him and finally figuring out what this thing was with Sebastian. And maybe Sebastian wouldn't even be watching him, but killing his solo certainly wasn't going to hurt.
And kill it he did. Rachel sounded awesome, Artie hit just the right level of soulful, and when Kurt came down the risers dead center holding that perfect f there were audible gasps from the audience, followed by a swell of cheering and applause.
So when they ran offstage to the green room to wait for the results, all of Kurt's teammates were high on performance energy and excitement when, as a group they practically crashed into the Warblers heading in the opposite direction. Mercedes immediately threw herself into David's arms, both of them insisting that the other's team had given the better performance, and together they led the way toward the waiting area, trailed by two glee clubs' worth of students who weren't at all sure what to make of each other.
But Kurt didn't really notice any of this. He barely registered Mercedes' happiness as she wrapped herself up in David. Because Sebastian was here. From opposite sides of the happy couple the two teams sized each other up, no one quite sure what to do, and at the far ends of each team Kurt and Sebastian stared each other down.
He'd looked good on stage but Sebastian looked even better here, so close, the cocksure performance energy gone and in its place an uncertainty that made him look almost vulnerable. Kurt would have given anything to have him alone, instead of separated by two dozen somewhat uncomfortable people. But he smiled anyhow, and Sebastian's mouth quirked up as well, and it really wasn't fair how beautiful that crooked smile made him look.
Suddenly Sam thrust a hand out to the nearest Warbler (Trent, Kurt thought it might be), with a quiet "You guys were awesome," which broke the ice enough that others began to follow suit, murmuring congratulations and mingling further into each others' ranks. Kurt shook three or four hands before he was pulled into a hug by Jeff, followed by his boyfriend (Kurt really needed to remember his name) and then a few others until finally he'd congratulated everyone except Sebastian, who as far as Kurt could see hadn't been approached by anyone at all.
The two teams, on their way to finally becoming friends, filtered into the green room together but Kurt held back and Sebastian waited too, until they were alone in the corridor.
"Can we - talk?" Kurt asked, cursing himself for sounding so unsure.
"Sure. In there?" Sebastian's expression wasn't giving anything away, but he nodded in the direction of one of the practice rooms. Kurt led the way, moving all the way to one side of the room. Sebastian took the opposite position, as if by unspoken agreement they were keeping as much space as possible between them.
Kurt's face was burning but his hands felt ice cold. There were a million things he needed to say to Sebastian, but now, with Sebastian standing right there looking so composed, the complete opposite of the turmoil Kurt was feeling, he couldn't seem to force any of them out of his mouth. The silence dragged on until it became ridiculous, then of course, they both spoke at once.
"I need to . . ."
"Look, I can't . . ."
The both froze, and Sebastian's "can't" echoed in Kurt's ears and stabbed at his heart. His mind ran wild with possibilities. Can't be with you? Can't do this any more?
"Go ahead." Sebastian gestured at Kurt.
"No, I need you to go first. Please."
Kurt's throat closed as Sebastian stood still as marble, and he had to put every ounce of strength he had into forcing back the tears that wanted to fill his eyes as the silence dragged on. He'd been wrong. About the song, about the serenade, about everything.
And then his heart plummeted and fractured at the same time as with a sharp, loud, "Oh, fuck this shit!" Sebastian moved to stride abruptly out the door.
Except that's not where he went at all.
Instead of leaving through the door, like Kurt had expected, Sebastian's long legs carried him past it and towards Kurt with such determined ferocity that Kurt took an involuntary step backwards before he realized what was happening. Then Sebastian's hand was gripping the back of his neck and his arm was wrapping strong around Kurt's waist, pulling him up onto his toes, and his mouth was coming down hard and desperate and feeling like nothing so much as claiming.
For one dizzying, frantic second Kurt's body wouldn't move, while his brain screamed at it to grab, to kiss, to do anything that would show Sebastian that Kurt wanted this more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. Sebastian's mouth was one hard press, not moving at all, and his arm pulled tighter and tighter, pressing Kurt up against his body, and just as the pressure from his lips started to decrease, just as it looked like he might be giving up, Kurt's body finally unfroze, his hands reaching for the back of Sebastian's head to pull him closer, his lips opening, inviting Sebastian's tongue.
Words didn't matter. Sebastian's declaration was clear in the desperate pull of his arm around Kurt's middle, the way he tasted every corner of Kurt's mouth like it was a dying man's last meal. And Kurt's response was in his hands grasping at Sebastian's hair, and the tiny sounds escaping his throat.
Eventually Sebastian pulled back just enough to look into Kurt's eyes, his own sparkling green under the fluorescent lights. "Really?" he asked simply.
"Uh-huh," Kurt nodded emphatically then pulled Sebastian's mouth back to his own, his heart finally safe in the knowledge of all the things Sebastian didn't need to say out loud.
From Mercedes Jones: Should we bring you guys some popcorn? ;)
To Mercedes Jones: Try it and I burn every shoe you own.
From Mercedes Jones: I know you're bluffing. You'd never touch my mom's vintage Vans.
To Mercedes Jones: They'll be the kindling.
Sebastian shut the practice room door then took advantage of Kurt's hands and attention being focused on his phone to explore his face, his neck, his ear, with lips that managed to be both gentle and impatient at the same time.
"Did you promise bodily harm?" he asked between kisses when Kurt finally shoved the phone back in his pocket.
"Worse. I threatened her wardrobe."
"Ooh. Badass." Sebastian smirked and captured Kurt's lips again, but the text interruption had brought Kurt back to reality just enough that he twisted away, gently but insistently.
"We need to talk," he said.
Sebastian groaned. "I know. I just missed you so much." He sounded incredulous, as if he couldn't quite believe it himself.
"You could have called." Kurt said, as gently as he could manage.
"I know."
"But you didn't."
Sebastian sighed and ran a restless hand through his hair, but he wrapped his arm back around Kurt's waist (a gesture Kurt was beginning to love) and pulled him down on the couch along the back wall of the room. Once they were seated he let go of Kurt entirely and pressed himself back into one side of the cushions, as if he needed to physically separate himself from Kurt before he could begin to explain. But Kurt wouldn't let him withdraw completely. He grabbed Sebastian's hand and pulled it into his own lap, curling his fingers around it.
"I am so fucking sorry, Kurt. This whole thing is my fault and I just - I couldn't face you until I figured out what to do about it."
"How is it your fault?" Kurt asked, incredulous.
Sebastian laughed bitterly. "George is my mess. Not yours. He was trying to hurt me and -"
"Okay, you need to tone down your megalomania," Kurt said, and that made Sebastian laugh for real. "I'm the one who decided to call him up and tear him a new asshole. He made things hard for the Warblers but he got my glee club disqualified. You don't get to crucify yourself for this when it's just as much about me as it is about you."
Sebastian shook his head. "It wasn't just George, though. Matthew was part of it too."
That was news. Mercedes hadn't said anything about Matthew. "What? How?"
"Matthew's wanted me to fuck him ever since I came back to Dalton." Sebastian looked down at his lap and his free hand tugged through his hair again. "And - I did. Once. He wanted more and I was really clear with him that that wasn't going to happen. Kind of physically clear."
Kurt had to work to keep his face straight. Sebastian didn't know he'd been outside the Warbler's practice room the day he'd fought with Matthew, and he didn't really feel like the time was right to bring that up.
"So Matthew and George discovered each other, somehow." Sebastian continued.
Kurt snorted delicately. "Probably in the alley behind Scandals."
"A distinct possibility. Anyhow, they figured out they had some mutual grudges, I guess. So Matthew took the video of us practicing, and George was the one who walked into McKinley's computer lab that Thursday morning and e-mailed it."
"Mercedes only told me about George."
"Yeah," Sebastian shrugged, "I didn't have anything to threaten Matthew with so he never confessed. I'm sure George tried to drag him into it, but I guess after what happened before they didn't want to believe him."
"Wait, so he just gets off scott free?"
Sebastian smiled, a little ruefully, but still a smile. "Well, I have a feeling the rest of the Warblers are planning to make his life pretty miserable. In a zero-tolerance-for-bullying kind of way, of course."
Kurt smiled too. He wanted justice for Matthew, but he was honest enough to admit to himself that he wanted it more because Matthew wanted Sebastian than for anything to do with the cheating. He figured given the circumstances he was allowed to be just a little petty like that. He scooted closer to Sebastian and let one of his legs settle between Sebastian's, hinting at the idea of climbing into his lap.
"So, now that it's all over, what do you want?" he asked quietly. "From me?"
Sebastian's hands circled Kurt's waist and pulled him until he was straddling Sebastian's lap. Kurt could feel Sebastian's body relax, as if just having him there, their bodies touching, made everything okay.
"I want - everything I said I wanted before, the first time I asked you out, and in New York that night. I want it all." Sebastian's hands roamed up and down Kurt's back and he let his head fall back against the couch. "Fuck, it sounds ridiculous coming out of my mouth but I want dinners, and dancing, and make outs in the car, preferably make outs ending in blow jobs, and your ass in those incredibly evil cock-teasing leather pants, and I really want you to want all that too, you know. Except, my ass, I guess. In my pants."
Kurt laughed and leaned close, so that their mouths were almost touching. "I do like the idea of your ass in leather pants."
"I actually don't own any leather pants." Sebastian craned his neck to reach Kurt's lips but Kurt pulled back and feigned shock.
"Okay, that is a travesty that we'll be changing the minute this thing is over. If I have to suffer for your pleasure then you have to suffer for mine."
"Bring it, sweetheart," Sebastian grinned and pulled Kurt's head down to his, finally coaxing him close enough to tease their lips together while one hand stroked down Kurt's spine to settle on the curve of his ass, the other keeping his head firmly in kissing distance.
And God, if this was his life now, then Kurt was all for it. It was a risk, he knew, taking this leap with Sebastian. There were a thousand ways it could go completely wrong and leave him brokenhearted and alone. But life was about risk. Nothing worth having was easy; Kurt had learned that almost before he could say "Prada." And he suspected that Sebastian would be so very worth having.
So he settled more firmly in Sebastian's lap, and traced his tongue against Sebastian's lips, unbuttoning his blazer so his hands could roam up and down the toned expanse of Sebastian's chest. Then, just as they were getting into a rhythm, just as Sebastian's hips were flexing under his and his exhales were starting to qualify as moans, just as their lips were remembering the most delicious ways to move together, Kurt remembered that there was still one thing he hadn't asked Sebastian.
"What did you threaten him with?" he gasped out, pulling back just far enough to speak.
"What?" Sebastian panted against his lips, craning forwards to try and capture Kurt's mouth again.
Kurt leaned a little further away. "You said Matthew didn't confess because you didn't have anything to threaten him with. But what did you have on George?"
Sebastian looked like he thought Kurt was a little insane to be talking about this right now, but he answered just the same.
"Statutory rape."
Kurt felt his eyebrows go comically high. "Seriously?"
Sebastian shrugged. "The last couple of times we did it were after his birthday. So I was fifteen and he was eighteen."
"But - does it even work that way? I mean, if you were already together before he was eighteen?"
"I have no idea," Sebastian confessed with a slightly evil smile that sent tiny shivers of want down Kurt's spine. "I figured, given who my father is, he'd be just dumb enough to believe I knew what I was talking about. And he was."
Sebastian spoke so casually about it, still relaxed under Kurt's body. But Kurt knew what it must have cost him to face George down like that, to finally give a name to what he'd done. He'd violated Sebastian, whatever the law would have said about it. He'd stolen Sebastian's ability to trust and twisted his ideas about love. Kurt wanted to tell Sebastian how much he loved him for facing all that for him, but they'd taken some big steps today and he knew it wasn't quite time for that kind of a declaration. Not yet.
So all he said was, "Was it hard, standing up to him like that?"
Sebastian's smile was wide and genuine. "God no! It felt fucking fantastic. I felt free, you know?"
"You should let me tell the rest of the group what you did. They should know who they have to thank."
Sebastian shook his head. "No way. There'd be too many questions and…I didn't do it for them anyhow. I did it for you."
Kurt nodded, and leant down to let his body express the feelings that he couldn't quite bring himself to speak out loud. Yet.
From Mercedes Jones: Are you two almost done?
To Mercedes Jones: This better be good.
From Mercedes Jones: Results are in.
Sebastian's ears were still ringing from the applause of the crowd as they filed back off stage fifteen minutes later. The New Directions kids were just in front of the Warblers, with Kurt hanging towards the back of the group, and without thinking Sebastian darted forwards to fall in line with his boyfriend (and wasn't that a crazy thought, that he had an honest-to-God boyfriend!), his hand reaching out almost reflexively to tangle his fingers with Kurt's. He probably should have felt self-conscious about such a bold gesture, especially in front of so many of their friends, but he just couldn't bring himself to second-guess himself any more. He wanted to feel the warmth of Kurt's hand in his, he wanted the whole world to know that he, Sebastian Smythe, had been judged by Kurt Hummel and found worthy. He had put himself out there, and been accepted, and he was going to take full advantage of that fact any chance he could get from now on.
"Hey babe," he whispered softly, leaning in so that their shoulders bumped together as they walked. Kurt's lips twitched up at the corners in a small, shy smile that Sebastian had a sneaking suspicion was completely subconscious. He liked it, he liked everything about this incredible boy, but that smile in particular was quickly becoming one of his favorites. It made Sebastian think that maybe Kurt was just as in awe about everything that was happening between them as he was, and that thought alone was enough to kill any remaining anxieties floating around in his chest. They were in this together now. Together.
"You're incredibly chipper for somebody who just lost Regionals." Kurt replied, his voice relaxed as he nudged back against Sebastian's shoulder, his fingers curling tighter around Sebastian's palm.
"Ouch, burn. I guess I must have imagined the part where you lost too," Sebastian teased, just about resisting the urge to pin Kurt up against the wall and kiss him senseless. There would be plenty of time for that later.
Kurt gave an exaggerated sigh, his chest heaving. "I know, to a freaking cowboy routine too, I'm not sure I can live with the embarrassment." He paused for a second, before tilting his head towards Sebastian, his eyes glittering deviously. "Still, we beat you, so I think I can count this one as a win in that respect."
"Laugh it up, pretty boy," Sebastian joked as they rounded the corner and started making their way down the corridor where the clubs' respective rooms were situated, "but our song got me you, and if that's not a win then I don't know what is."
Kurt's eyes softened, and he shuffled closer, so that their sides were pressed up together. "You always had me," he replied quietly, as if he almost couldn't believe what he was admitting to, before shaking his head and smiling wickedly at Sebastian once again. "But we still beat you, and don't you ever forget it."
It was crazy, Sebastian thought to himself as they reached their destination and the now casually intermixed group of Warblers and New Directioners slowed to a halt, how nothing and everything seemed to have changed between him and Kurt. They were still both more than willing to tease and snark at each other; Sebastian didn't feel any new desire to censor his behavior, and he was reasonably sure Kurt would never dream of reigning in his bitchiness around him, but now underneath their taunts there was an undercurrent of warmth, of affection, of acceptance. It was almost as if Kurt wanted him because of his edges, of his flaws, rather than in spite of them, and that concept was just a little terrifying for Sebastian who had always used his scathing persona as a defense, not as an opening.
Except how could it be terrifying, when Kurt was next to him, with him. Somehow, Sebastian had gotten the guy, and he hadn't had to do anything other than be himself. That had to be one for the books.
"You know, I'm glad neither of us won," Sebastian commented with air of utmost casualty as the group prepared to split off into their respective rooms (and did he really just see Thad give Sugar his number? That should be interesting.)
"Oh really, and why is that?" Kurt replied curiously.
"Well..." Sebastian drew out the word, long and low as he let go of Kurt's hand so that he could slip his arm around his waist instead, drawing Kurt even closer to him as he whispered darkly in his ear. "No win means no victory parties where people will notice if we're not in attendance."
He heard Kurt's voice hitch in his throat, "I...uh...right, okay. Give me five minutes to get my stuff...actually you know what screw it, Rachel can pick it up for me." Kurt whirled away towards the exit, pausing and turning back with an exaggerated huff when he noticed that Sebastian wasn't following him. "Well, are you coming or not?" He asked haughtily, crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently. Sebastian ignored the catcalls from both teams, throwing a quick salute in David's direction as he hurried to catch up with Kurt, his arm reaching out once again to clasp Kurt's hand - he was quickly coming to the opinion that they should always be touching, always.
They were out the door and halfway towards the parking lot when Kurt stalled, drawing up with an agitated huff. "Crap, forgot to ask Rachel. Damn you Sebastian, this is all your fault."
"Me? What did I do?" Sebastian asked incredulously, grinning as Kurt whipped out his phone and started typing manically.
"You were there, with your sexy eyes and your sexy voice and your unfairly sexy ass. I can't think straight when I'm around you."
Sebastian laughed, loving how easily the words flowed from Kurt's lips. This was his life now, this was what he had won. If he wanted to tell Kurt how beautiful he was, or how he made Sebastian smile simply by existing, then he could. He could be tired in classes, and simply explain to his friends "Sorry, Kurt and I were up late talking," he could introduce Kurt to his sister, tell his parents that he had found somebody who made him happy, who was good for him. Maybe someday soon he could tell Kurt he loved him, and hear it reciprocated. He could have this; he could have everything he had forgotten he wanted.
"I don't have your number."
Kurt looked up in confusion from his phone, "What? Of course you do."
Sebastian shook his head adamantly, "We kind of skipped that part. You were too busy calling me a self-centered asshole."
"And you were too busy insulting my clothes," Kurt snarked back, hitting 'send' and navigating to his contacts before holding his phone out to Sebastian. "But I agree, this is definitely something we should fix." Sebastian reached out to take the phone from Kurt's outstretched palm, but at the last second Kurt whipped it away, eyeing Sebastian suspiciously. "No sexting me during school hours, you've seen the pants I wear."
"I make no promises," Sebastian replied solemnly, trying to grab the phone from Kurt's grasp, but Kurt simply scowled and raised the phone higher in the air out of Sebastian's reach. Giving a small huff Sebastian rocked back on his heels and crossed his arms, "Fine, I'll only sext you between the hours of five and midnight."
"And weekends?"
"And weekends."
Kurt paused for a second longer, pretending to consider Sebastian's proposal. "Okay, deal," he finally replied, handing over the phone. Sebastian quickly typed in his digits and handed the handset back to Kurt. Kurt quickly fired off a text and Sebastian felt his own phone buzz in his pocket. "There, now you have mine as well. Let the wildly inappropriate sexting commence."
Together they made their way over to Kurt's navigator, and as Kurt moved around to the driver's side door Sebastian surreptitiously checked his phone, grinning when he saw the message on his screen. He sent a quick response before hopping up into the passenger seat, smiling like an idiot as he basked in the knowledge that, for once, everything had turned out exactly how it was supposed to.
From unknown number: Hey asshole.
To My Sex Kitten: Hey bitch.