Real Women Have Curves Chapter 21: Fears, a twilight fanfic

Chapter 21: Fears

E POV

After the day of my and Bella's "coming out", everyone seemed to calm down. People stopped staring as much, which was good because I didn't think Bella could take anymore. My family and friends accepted us, hands down. I'm sure Alice had something to do with it.

James and Victoria hadn't bothered us since that day either, even in biology. They never gave us a second glance. I didn't understand.

Tonight was the game against Port Angeles, I wasn't too nervous. Bella was driving herself tonight, I was more nervous about that. I told her to park over in the main parking lot, under the lights, I'd meet her there after the game as she was giving me a ride over to the party at Rose and Jasper's house.

Hale parties were what I imagine college frat parties would be like. Alcohol, loud music, dumbass kids doing stupid shit, all that and more. They were fun, but were a lot of work for those of us who stayed afterwards to help clean. Our parents were at a gala this weekend so they weren't expecting us home anytime tonight.

"So," Emmett comes over to me as I'm in the locker room. "Nervous?"

"Naw," I shrug. "Just like every other game."

"Okay boys listen up!" Coach Williams shouts at us over the hooting and blabber. "I know we've already played these guys once this season and won, but don't go getting lazy and let your guard down. If you do that, they'll know and they'll take advantage of that. So let's get out there and show them what football is all about!"

Emmett starts the chant first, "Trojans! Trojans! Trojans! Trojans!" Everyone huddles in closer as the volume rises. We all grab our helmets and pump them in the air to the rhythm of the chant. Suddenly someone yells out "CHARGE!" and we all go storming through the door, into the cement tunnel and down towards the field.

As we reach the edge of the field, there's a swell of applause and cheers, I scan the crowd looking for Bella. She's in the girlfriends section, wearing a sweatshirt Alice made her that has my name and number on it, the number 22 is puffy painted on her cheeks. I smile, it's all the more encouragement I need.

By the first half the Port Angeles Pirates are down by 14 and by the end of the game we've won 42 to 20. We leave the field to go dress down in the lockers.

I shower and dress quickly and head out to the main gate to find Bella. She's standing just outside talking to Angela. Angela sees me but I put my finger up to my lips in a shush signal. She smiles and looks back at Bella.

"...seems kind of sad to me." Bella shrugs. I wrap my hands around her eyes and she jumps a little but then relaxes.

"Oh who could that be I wonder?" She ponders as she brings her hands up to mine. "Hmm, definitely not a girl's hands, too big and rough. Could it be my boyfriend?" She turns to look at me. Her face falls, "Oh, wrong boyfriend." She laughs out loud at the look of mock confusion and repulsion on my face.

"Jokes on you." She teases as she pulls me closer. I smile and wrap my arms around her. She stretches up to kiss me then turns back around to face Angela, who's in a conversation with Ben.

"Hey Ang," she interrupts. "We're gonna head out now. I'll see you at school Monday though right?"

"Yeah!" Angela nods as she comes in for a hug. I let them hug but don't release Bella's waist from my hands. She wiggles her way out of my embrace, I relinquish her waist but remain connected by her hand.

"Can I drive?" I ask her as we near 'The Beast', as Emmett and I dubbed it.

"I don't see why not." Bella shrugs and tosses me the keys. I open the door for her and walk around the front of the car.

We pull out onto the street and are heading towards Rose and Jasper's house. Bella scoots across the bench seat, she pulls my arm around her and nestles in. She cranks the heater and turns some soft music on the radio through her IPod. The song About Rain by Sequoyah Prep School soothes us.

She sings along lightly to the music.

I hope you like dancing in the rain,
I'll spin you around and pull you back to me.
I sure am glad you wore that dress,
It reminds me of the night that we first met.
Don't you love the evenings in July when I'm staring at you with my blue eyes.
And we could be fine,
We could be fine, fine, fine.

So roll the windows down and put the car in drive,
It's starting to rain a little bit outside,
And I've had you on my mind for some time.
And why did you go?
Why did you leave?
I can't forget about you and me,
But now I'm letting go.

Her voice sounds so sad and quiet that I end up pulling the car over and making sure she's okay. I pull her chin up to look at her face, a single tear as left its trail down her face. I kiss it away. She pulls me closer and kisses me again, an edge of desperation on her lips.

I pull away minutely. "What's going on Bella?" I ask.

She hides her face but I push on. "Bella, tell me. I'm freaking out a little here."

She brings her head up and looks me square in the face. "I'm scared." She whispers.

"Of what?" I ask a little loudly. "My driving?"

"No silly boy." she laughs a little. "I'm afraid of you."

"Whaaaa?" I ask stupidly. "Why?"

"Because." She looks away and out the window. "This week has been one of the happiest of my life. I'm just so scared that it's all going to be ripped out from under me. I don't want that. I couldn't bear that."

"Oh Isabella." I bring my hand up to her face and press it against her cheek. She leans into the caress and smiles lightly.

"This," she grabs my hand. "This is what I'm talking about." She croons. "I don't want to lose this. I'm so afraid that you'll wake up and realize that you don't want me. That you'll want someone prettier, skinnier, more fashionable." She takes a deep breath to start in on herself again but before she can say anything I crush my lips to hers.

She moans a little and kisses me back. I can feel her melt back and I push myself onto her more. Her hands reach for my jacket pushing it off my chest so she can run her hands down my torso. I bring my left hand down, letting it feel the angle of her shoulder, the suppleness of her breasts, the curve of her waist and hip, the thickness of her thighs. My 'friend' is back and straining against the front of my jeans.

I move my hand back up to the hem of her shirt, letting my fingers tickle the little bit of exposed skin there. She freezes and pushes me back a little way.

"What?" I ask a little breathless.

"I'm sorry." she exhales as fresh tears roll down her cheeks.

"No," I pull us back into a sitting position, and rest her head against my shoulder. "No no no." I coo. "It's okay." i answer, even though it's still killing me to have her body pressed this close to me. Her hair smells like her strawberry shampoo and I just want to lose myself in it.

"No it's not." She hiccups. "I can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" I ask calmly as I stroke her hair. She pulls up and looks at me.

"Comparing you to Drake." She whispers. That did it, boner nonexistent at this point. I tense, throw my head against the back of the seat and groan.

"I'm sorry," she whines as she lays kisses down my neck.

"I really hate that he has such a hold over you." I grind out between my teeth as I continue staring at the ceiling of the cabin. "The fact that his actions have caused you to shut down with me pisses me off."

She rests her head in the crook of my neck. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." I let a deep breath go and move my head back down. "He should be. He's done this to you." She looks back at me with big sad eyes, like a clowns, it kind of creeps me out.

"Let's just go to the party." I scoot back over to the driver's seat and pull her back into my side.

"Are you sure?" She asks.

"Yeah." I smile weakly. I need a distraction from this moment.

B POV

I ruined that moment, but as soon as his hand touched my bare skin I was sent to the back of that Lexus with Drake grunting on top of me. I froze, I couldn't help it. Edward of course noticed my hesitation and stopped, but still the damage was done, moment gone.

I apologized and told him what triggered me. It annoyed him that Drake's mental scar is still blocking us from having a relationship, but what can I say? Drake was here first? That wouldn't go over well.

He puts the car back in drive and pulls back onto the road towards Jasper and Rose's house. His arm rests on the back of the seat. I sit next to him, my hands in my lap, as the next song on my IPod begins the instrumental beginning.

We arrive at the house, it's on a big corner lot. There's a dozen or so cars parked in every direction on the street and driveway. There's a few people scattered on the lawn, the tree has toilet paper in it, red cups are sitting out and the music blasts out the open front door.

"Fuuuuuuuck," Edward hisses. "This is gonna be a bitch to clean up already and I haven't even seen the inside."

"Well," I shrug. "You know I don't mind cleaning up other people's messes." I smile at him, he snorts and leans over to give me a peck before he opens the door and pulls me out with him.

We walk up the driveway and into the lawn. Before we can get through the door a guy in a letterman's jacket comes flying out the door on a mattress, flips off when the mattress hits the door jamb and rolls across pavement and into a bush. His friends come charging out yelling, "THAT WAS AWESOME DUDE!"

Edward pulls me closer to his back, checks around the door jamb to make sure the coast is clear then pulls me in after him. Once we get in the house the music exponentially gets louder.

The stairs are across from the front door, which must have been where mattress monkey came from. To the left of the entry is the dining room. The dining table has chips, pretzels and some cut up veggies set out on it. To the right of the entry is the living room. The furniture has been pushed to the walls and the floor is being used as a makeshift dance floor.

Edward takes me through the large living room and around into the kitchen, where the open bar is set up allowing teenagers to serve themselves whatever they want. Two guys are stupidly trying to make a drink with a little bit of every alcohol set out on the counter.

We head out the back slider door to the porch, which is lit by rope lights. There's more people out here, some are playing drunken volleyball. Jasper and Alice are over on the other side of the back deck. Alice is sitting on Jasper's lap, his arms wrapped defensively around her waist, her arms disappear behind his neck.

"Bella! Edward!" She waves us over. "You're here, good!"

"Where's Emmett and Rose?" Edward raises his eyebrows suggestively.

"I'm guessing they're up in Roses' room." Jasper rolls his eyes. "You guys want anything to drink?"

"No," Edward answers. "Bella?"

"Is there water?" I ask

"Of course. We have bottled in that cooler behind you." Jazz points to a big blue cooler behind me. Edward lets my hand go, opens the lid and grabs one from the bottom of the container.

"No alcohol?" Edward directs at me as he hands the bottle to me.

"Umm, no." I laugh. "I'm a terrible lightweight, not to mention it makes me sick to my stomach and then tired." Edward smiles.

"What about you three?" I ask. "You don't drink?"

"No," Jazz answers. "I'm designated driver for the night. Gotta stay on duty."

"I don't think so." Alice scoffs. "I don't drink. It makes people do dumb things, and I'd rather not have people remember me for doing something stupid when I was drunk."

"Edward?" I look up at him. He shakes his head no. "Why not?" I ask.

"Long story." He waves it off. I'll have to talk to him later about it.

We managed to get a couple chairs and sat on the deck almost the entire night, luckily Alice had thought to bring an industrial size space heater and we all sat near that to keep warm. Emmett and Rose finally showed, both buzzed to say the least. Emmett was slurring, Rose's hair was a little messy and both had lipstick smeared across their face.

"Well this is great." Edward says sarcastically. "You two are gonna be a huge help tonight." He rolls his eyes.

"Hey, hey man." Emmett lunges at Edward. "Don't be jealoush. Jusht becaush you don't like to unwind and let loosh!"

"I prefer to 'let loose' in other ways." He answers mildly. "Ever heard of exercise? Or video games?"

"Oh yeah," Emmett grunts. "What about your increash in shower time lately huh?" He tries to wink at Edward, but ends up blinking both eyes closed and then opening one and then the other a couple seconds later.

"Shut the fuck up you lush." Edward face palms him into the slider door. Emmett's knees proceed to buckle and he slides down the glass slowly with a streaking noise.

"Emm baby?" Rose asks. "You okay?" She goes to lean over and pull him up but loses balance and topples over on top of him. A light snore is heard from the bear of a man laying on the ground.

"You...k-killed him." Rose whines as she tries to lift him off the ground. "Emm baby come back to me! Don't go to the light!"

"Oh hush." Edward snaps. "He's asleep, not dead. We'll get him up once the last few people leave, which should be soon, it's already 12:30."

Edward was right, the last people left at 12:50 probably because of their 1:00 am curfews. Jasper, Alice, Edward and I immediately got to work cleaning. Alice danced around the house picking up trash. Edward and Jazz lifted Emmett onto the couch where Rose proceeded to lay on top of him and snooze.

I busied myself with cleaning up the food, wiping up the counters and tables and sweeping the floors. Edward turned the hose on outside and washed the toilet paper remnants from the tree. Jasper took the mattresses back upstairs and put them on their respective beds then moved the furniture back in place.

By 2 o'clock everything was mostly back to normal. I had told Charlie I was staying at Rose's house, which he willingly accepted, never even wanting to call Frank Hale and ask. Alice, Edward and Emmett's parents were out of town, so they weren't expected home.

Alice and I went up to Rose's room and changed into the PJ's we had brought with us. Edward and Jasper were crashing in Jasper's room, but none of us were tired yet. We sat up for a while talking. Jasper excused himself to go to the bathroom and Alice went to grab a drink. Now was my chance.

"So why didn't you drink?" I ask Edward as I pull my legs under me. I was sitting next to him on the love seat.

"Do you really want to hear it?" He asks as he pushes a stray lock of hair out my face.

"Of course." I answer.

"Well," He begins. "Has Alice told you about our family?"

"A little." I answer, even though Rose was the one to explain. "I was told that your mom and Carlisle didn't have any kids together. That you and your mom joined Carlisle, Alice and Emmett when you were a baby and that Carlisle adopted you."

"Yeah," he nods. "Well, that's it in a nutshell." I nestle in closer to him as Alice reenters the room with a glass of orange juice.

"What really happened was my mom had met Carlisle while she was still married to my biological father. Carlisle was a doctor in Seattle then and my mother was working two jobs, one as a waitress and the other as a clerical assistant in the hospital that Carlisle worked at. Carlisle had lost his wife six months prior and was left with two kids. So he would ask my mom for advice about raising small children. They were just friends, platonic. Then Carlisle started noticing the bruises that the make-up couldn't cover." His breath hitches and I rub circles into his forearm, urging him to continue.

"Anyway," he takes a deep breath. "My mom finally admitted to Carlisle that her husband, George, was beating her. She would excuse it away saying that he had drank too much one night and that it wouldn't happen again, but it did. It happened more and more frequently, until one night he broke her arm. He told her it wouldn't happen again, but something snapped in her and she was afraid that if she didn't do something he was going to start in on me. She couldn't let it come to that. So one night, when he started getting drunk, she hid a gun under her pillow. When he started in on the hitting, she shot him." I gasp a little, Esme didn't seem like the kind to do something like that. She was so warm and motherly.

"Carlisle helped mom hire a good lawyer and she was found innocent due to self-defense. He had fallen in love with her at this point, but didn't want to cause her anymore problems in her life. Eventually she realized that he was in love with her and we became the Cullens." He relaxes a bit as the last part leaves his lips.

"Well," Jasper interrupts from the chair him and Alice are sharing. "I think it's time for bed now. I sure as hell know I'm getting tired."

"Agreed," Alice chirps hopping up. "Come on hot stuff. Walk me to my room." She pulls Jasper up off the chair and they head up the stairs.

"Edward," I whisper, his eyes dart to mine from whatever place he had just been. "Thank you for sharing that with me."

He smiles slightly, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Walk me to bed?" I ask quietly.

He nods and we stand up off the couch together. He walks me up the stairs and to Rose's door.

"Goodnight Isabella." He whispers in my ear. He pulls back a tiny bit and brushes his lips over mine. He kisses me softly, I kiss him back. "Sweet dreams." He says as he opens the door for me.

I walk in and close the door, peering through the crack as it gets smaller and smaller. He stays there until the snap of the door is heard. I climb into the freshly resheeted bed where Alice is already curled up in.

"Night Alice." I whisper to the darkness.

"Goodnight Bella." Comes the returning voice. "Thank you for not hurting him."

Those words echo in my head as I fall asleep. He and I both have things to fear. He may not have been old enough to remember it, but the knowledge of what his mother has experienced weighs heavy upon him.