Chapter 23: Proclamation
B POV
After Jasper had dropped me off and all day Sunday I ignored calls and texts from Edward. I would delete his voicemails before I listened to them, not wanting to hear his excuses and backtracking.
Alice and Rose would send me texts that said things along the lines of:
Hear him out.
Don't assume the worst.
You're overreacting.
He truly does care for you.
I would respond but only with short one ot two-word answers.
No.
Too late.
Whatev.
Yeah right.
I was angry, really angry. I was embarrassed more because of the whole Tanya thing too. I didn't understand exactly what a chubby chaser was, but it didn't sound good.
Somehow I was going to avoid this situation at school tomorrow. I sat right next to him in Biology. I just hoped that the oinking and rumors would hold off long enough for me to convince Charlie to move up to Port Angeles.
On Monday, I had managed to avoid Edward and the Pixie for most of the day but Biology was fast approaching. How was I going to avoid this situation? I scan the room as I arrive. No sign of Edward, or Tanya.
Marcus, Tanya's partner is sitting lackadaisically at his desk when the light bulb in my head goes off. I could request a Biology partner transfer. I'm a good student, Edward is a good student, we should be dividing our brains among the class right? I approach Marcus.
"Umm Marcus?" I ask nervously.
"Huh?" He looks up from the doodle of a band logo he was drawing.
"Hi, I'm Bella." I smile.
"Oh, Hello." He answers with a bored look on his face.
"I was wondering," I begin. "Would you mind switching me lab partners?"
"I don't see why not." He yawns. "But can I ask why?"
"Well," I pause. "I just need a change and you seem like a nice guy." I lie, hopefully he wouldn't pick up on it.
He shrugs and that's all the agreeance I get from him. Only thing to do now is ask Mr. Banner. I walk up to his desk.
"Umm, Mr. Banner," I try to get his attention from the assignments he's writing on the whiteboard.
"Yes Ms. Swan?" He glances around at me then turns back to the board to finish writing.
"I was wondering if you could allow Tanya Denali and I to switch lab partners?" I propose.
"Why would I do that Ms. Swan?" He directs at me but doesn't turn to look.
"Well," Here comes the grappling for a good reason. "Edward is a great student, but I feel like him and I would be better partnered with people that aren't as well prepared for the subject. Marcus and Tanya didn't do so well on the midterm project and I feel like Edward and I could help them understand and do better in this subject."
"You have a point Ms. Swan." He finally turns to look at me. "In that case, I will allow you to be partnered with Mr. Santorio. I will alert Mr. Cullen and Ms. Denali upon their arrival. Please have a seat."
I give a breath of relief as I head back to the table that Marcus is sitting at.
"He said it's fine." I answer.
"Fabulous." He replies with no emotion.
I take a seat and rest my head on the desk. Why did this have to happen to me? I guess I was just a pawn to him, someone he could use to as Tanya put "scratch an itch".
"Ahh, Mr. Cullen." I look up as Mr. Banner announces his arrival to the class. "I have just received from Ms. Swan a request that you and her no longer be partners. So you and Ms. Denali will now be partnered for the rest of the quarter." Edward's eyes flash to mine with a look of, betrayal? No, most likely angered understanding. I was the one who was betrayed.
"I guess." Edward shrugs and walks back to the table we shared up until a few minutes ago. He sits down, takes one more glance at me and then looks out the window. He looks sad, does he regret what he did to me? I hope so, jerk. I can feel the tears threaten to betray me and close my eyes.
E POV
"I'm sorry Edward," Alice sighs. "She won't listen. I've tried a few different ways of getting her to come around. It's not working."
"Same," Rose adds slumping her shoulders. "All I'm getting are one word answers. I give up."
"Thanks anyway ladies." I huff. I dial her number again, it rings twice and goes to voicemail.
"Bella, please." I'm sure I sound desperate and almost defeated, but I haven't given up on her quite yet. "PLEASE call me back. I really want to work this out." I hang up and slam my head down on the countertop.
"Ow." My delayed response to the pain makes Emmett laugh.
"Dude, stop beating yourself up, literally. She'll come around, she just needs some time to calm down. You'll see her tomorrow at school and iron things out and then everything will be unicorn shits and rainbow skittles again."
"Thanks Em," I groan pulling my head off the countertop. "You're stunning and eloquent confidence makes me feel so much better." I answer in an unamused monotone.
"I'm off to pick up Jasper from work," Alice says solemnly. "Keep trying Edward." She pats my shoulder as she grabs her purse and walks out.
I do and get no response, either from text or call. I even try calling her home phone but she must be screening my calls and threatening Charlie with death if he answers.
The next morning I wake up early, still tired from tossing and turning all night. I take a hot shower and head to school. The butterflies in my stomach feel more like angry hornets as I scan the hallways for her. I think I see her once but before I can get a clear view she disappears. I know it's just a matter of time, she can't hide forever, we do sit next to each other in Biology.
The day seems to draw on forever as I wait for the lunch bell to ring. I duck out of the lunch room before the bell rings though and head to class.
I enter the room and immediately fix onto Bella. What is she doing sitting next to Marcus? Before I can approach her Mr. Banner gets my attention and alerts me to the fact that Bella has arranged it so we aren't partners anymore. I am now partnered with Tanya.
A million emotions zing through me in the second and a half it takes me to look up at her. The last and strongest being defeat. So she truly didn't want to be with me. She had made her decision, I could respect that. I shrug it off like it doesn't mean anything to me and head back to my usual seat.
I glance back over at her with one last look of longing. Her eyes reflect the pain in her soul. I hurt her. How could I? I was no better than Drake. I have to avert my eyes out the window to avoid her from seeing the tear that escapes my betraying eye.
November passes, we lose Regionals and are sent home.
December passes, the first snow falls late this year. Bella looks like she hates it. Since she started hanging with Aro, Caius and Marcus she has seemed to retract more into her shell. I notice that she's back to wearing her old clothes that hide her body. It hurts every time I look at her, a deep ache that leaves me on the verge of tears.
Oh how I want to just go over, pull her close to me and tell her how much I love her. How time seems to slug by but also passes in the blink of an eye without her to brighten my day.
Basketball season has started, but I can't bring myself to care.
Tanya hangs on me like we're a couple, but I don't feel her. I don't care either.
It's the Wednesday before winter break and Alice and I are sitting watching something stupid on TV.
"Edward," she breaks the silence, "You're miserable. Why are you doing this to yourself?"
"I didn't do it. It was her choice." I answer mildly. "She broke up with me."
"No," Alice answers matter of factly. "She didn't break up with you. You let her walk away. Through all the shit she's been through you just let her walk away."
"Don't lecture me Alice." I snap. "I called her, I texted her, I tried to explain."
"Bullshit." Alice answers standing. "You gave up too soon. You should have refused the partnership change. You should have gone up to her and told her the truth, not the half-truth that she picked up from Tanya." I silently fume.
"It's almost Christmas Edward. Do something!" She yells as she dramatically stomps out of the room.
I exhale long and slow. Despite the fact that she can be as annoying as hell, she's right. I fucked up. I let Bella believe what Tanya the Terrible had assumed. I had to do something. A last hurrah. If she doesn't respond, then I can let her go. I can accept that I did everythingI could.
I run up to my room and fire up my laptop. It takes me five minutes to burn the playlist that I have been endlessly listening to over the past few weeks. I grab the freshly burned CD, my letterman's jacket and my wallet. I stop at the local flower shop and buy a single long stemmed red rose.
I park a little ways down her street and jog up to her door. I knock once, it takes a bit but I hear her descending the stairs. "Coming!" She yells. She yanks the door open and freezes, staring up at me.
"Bella," I answer. She tries to slam the door but my hand stops it. "I only brought these over for you. Please listen to it. Every word of every song has meaning. After you listen to it just once you can decide if you want to throw it away. But if you should decide that you changed your mind, my phone number is still the same. Please Bella." I plead. "Please listen to it, I'm begging you." My voice cracks and I hand her the CD case and red rose.
She takes them in her hand and I turn to walk back to my car. I hop in and let myself sink in to the seat, holding my phone in my hand and praying for it to ring.
B POV
Switching Biology partners was the first change I made. The next one included switching lunch groups. I started sitting with The Volturi, the band that Marcus played in. Aro was the lead singer, he was friendly, but almost too friendly, like he wanted something from me. Caius was the definite angry one of the band. He had a temper that would flare to life at the drop of a hat. Marcus was the most chill, the one I didn't mind being around.
He had a good work ethic and was smart when he applied himself. I also got to know the band "manager", Alec. Demetri was the sound/tech guy. Jane was dating Aro and Chelsea and Demetri had a thing.
They were all pretty friendly, but cocky as hell. They had an ego that blew my mind. They basically thought they were breaking into the business of music because they had a good structure and sound. I didn't say anything, but I wasn't impressed by them.
I was too busy nonchalantly keeping tabs on Edward from a distance to really pay that close of attention to The Volturi group. The first thing I noticed was that Tanya was back at his side, pawing at him and purring in his ear. He didn't seem to respond, but then again that's exactly how it was when I first came here.
November and December passed quickly for me, days seemed to last forever though and everything blurred together. By mid-December, first semester was almost over. Winter break would be starting soon and Christmas was upon us. It had snowed, which made things even worse.
I was in my room downloading some more music and feeling sorry for myself. It was just after seven and I was contemplating going to unload the dishwasher when there was a knock at the door. Charlie had gone over to Billy's house and wouldn't be back until nine so I didn't know who it could've been.
I shuffle down the stairs and yank the door open. It's Edward. What the?
"Bella," he breathes. My whole body freezes and my mind screams at me to rush into his arms. Instead I try slamming the door, but he slaps his hand on it and stops me.
"I only brought these over for you." My eyes glance to his hand, he's holding a CD and a single red rose. "Please listen to it. Every word of every song has meaning. After you listen to it just once you can decide if you want to throw it away. But if you should decide that you changed your mind, my phone number is still the same. Please Bella." He pleads. "Please listen to it, I'm begging you." His voice cracks and I want to reach out and take him and my arms and stop all this pain. But my hand only reacts by taking the CD and rose from him.
He quickly turns and walks back down towards his car. I quietly close the door, walk back up to my room and take the CD out of its case. Written on it in his boyishly elegant writing is "My Bella". I carry it over to my CD player and insert it. The music starts up and my mouth pops open a little.
It's Garth Brooks, he remembered. I listen to the slow and emotional song, letting it soothe my pain. I slowly walk back towards my bed and lay down, letting myself go. The tears roll freely down my cheeks and onto my pillow.
The song closes and the next one is upbeat and makes me smile and giggle. It's the opening song to Juno, I love that movie.
Cascada is next, an acoustic version of a dance mix she made. In this tempo and beat it makes it a whole new song and I can't help but feel a longing.
A man's voice I don't recognize sings of 'Falling'.
Edwin McCain's classic love song enters into a Jesse McCartney hit.
By song ten I've gotten the message but continue to listen anyway. Finally the last song starts, a piano and upbeat male voice.
Oh her eyes, her eyes,
Make the stars look like they're not shining.
Her hair, her hair,
Falls perfectly without her trying.
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day.
Yeah, I know, I know,
When I compliment her,
She won't believe me.
And it's so, it's so,
Sad to think she don't see what I see.
But every time she asks me do I look okay,
I say.
When I see your face,
There's not a thing that I would change.
'Cause you're amazing,
Just the way you are.
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for a while.
'Cause girl you're amazing,
Just the way you are.
Her lips, Her lips,
I could kiss them all day.
Her laugh, her laugh,
She hates but I think it's so sexy.
She's so beautiful,
And I tell her every day.
Oh you know, you know, you know,
I'd never ask you to change.
If perfect is what you're searching for,
Then just stay the same.
So don't even bother asking,
If you look okay.
You know I will say,
When I see your face,
There's not a thing that I would change.
'Cause you're amazing,
Just the way you are.
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for a while.
'Cause girl you're amazing,
Just the way you are.
I don't even wait for the rest of the song to finish before I grab my phone off my nightstand and dial his number. He picks up on the first ring.
"Hello?" He answers with hope in his voice.
"Edward?" I answer.
"Bella..." he breathes a sigh of relief.
"I, I," I freeze. Just spit it out Bella. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I was stupid. I overreacted. I'm dumb. I'm so, so, so, so sorry."
"Bel-" he tries to interrupt but I push on.
"I don't know why it mattered, if anything I should have been happy about it."
"Bella-" he tries again.
"By the time I realized it didn't matter I thought you were already with Tanya again and I thought I ruined things!"
"Bella!" he shouts. "Open the door."
I walk out my room and fly down the stairs and yank the door open. He's walking quickly across the snow in our front yard, when he gets to my door he doesn't even stop. He wraps his arms under my armpits, putting his head in the crook of my neck and inhaling my scent. He uses his momentum to pull me off the ground and spin me around in a circle before he sets me down.
I grab him around the neck and pull him to my face.
"I'm...sorry." I say between kisses. "I was stupid. Please forgive me. Blame it on a two month long bout of PMS if you have to. I love the CD you made me. I love that you make me feel beautiful. I love that you're attracted me because of my larger than average assets."
"Bella," he chuckles kissing my nose. "Bella Bella Bella." He shakes his head. "What am I going to do with you?"
"Just keep me right here." I sigh as I rest my head on his shoulder. "I love you Edward." I tense at my unintentional proclamation. He pulls back to look at me, reading my face.
"You do?" He asks, his eyes get wide and his mouth is open in surprise and for a second I think he's going to turn and run. Stupid Bella, you just got him back, don't scare him away. Then his face breaks into the biggest smile I've ever seen, his eyes smolder like emerald fire again and he crushes his lips to mine in a kiss that makes my head spin and my knees buckle.
"I love you too, Isabella Swan." He whispers when his lips finally disconnect from mine. "In case you didn't pick that up from the CD I made you."