The children at the Academy were trained not to feel, logic was all that was need. Who cared about sentiment or emotions? The training had different effects on the survivors. Nine still half-heartily followed that ideology, despite the heavy weight on his heart. Twelve was more animated and lively, but his actions still held a certain hollowness to them. He too seemed to distance himself from those frivolous things.
Five, well Five was different. To her emotions were intoxicating and mystic. She chased after then like a hound chased a fox. For the most part they seemed just out of her reach, taunting her. But when she finally got a small taste, be it joy, disgust, or sadness, she because almost delirious. Everything in her life was bland and dull, so she relished every chance she got to live.
She learned quickly that Nine was the source of most of her emotions. True, most of them were the negative type, like frustration and anger, but anything was better than nothing. Of course she couldn't come right out and say so. Besides from the fact her 'guardians' would be concerned their little puppet had a mind of her own, Five would never expose herself like that. To do so would mean she was weak and vulnerable. A Queen could never have those qualities.
So she tormented him, tried to get a rise out of him. Somehow a comradeship of sorts formed around it. It wasn't friendship, not by any means, but it was something.
He revealed a plan he had formed with Twelve. To run away and take control of their lives. It was insane, but Five wanted to believe in them. Any chance to chase after the so desired feelings she would take. However when the time came, she found herself frozen in shock.
So this is fear.
She was able to face all the previous horrors without losing her courage, but this, the thought of freedom, shook her to the core.
She did what anyone would do in her situation. Five lied and insisted she simply changed her mind and wasn't suicidal. Instead of backing out though, they went through and left her there, alone. Then she was sent into that strange land and was forced to learn that clunky language (her biggest regret was her inability to grasp something millions could). While fear surrounded her for a few weeks, soon that faded away with the rest of her emotions. Everything became dull and gray again.
However when she learned Nine and Twelve were still out there, and that they wanted her to find them, a spark was lit in her life. They were the source of all those precious emotions, and she'd chase after them once more, til she breathed her last breath.
A.N. Five is such an interesting character, I wish we got to see more of her and her past with the Terrorist Duo