A/N: We're up to 6th year and things are getting dicier. Still getting a touch of writer's block and waiting on edits for Shifting Tides, so we're here.
Burrow, Summer before 6th year
Hermione swiped one last coat of polish on her toes before leaning back against the tree to enjoy the last of the daylight. She'd mistimed though, Bill's voice calling, "Dinner time!"
She looked at her toes and hands and made no move to get up. She'd taken ages with them to try and get them to actually look good, Ginny was a terrible tease about imperfect nails and it niggled under her skin. "Hermione?"
"In a minute." She called back. "Just need to let my nails dry."
He came towards her from the house, "Why not a drying charm?"
"No, I like it the muggle way." She said, which may or may not be true, but she also wasn't going to point out she still had exactly three weeks until she was 17 and allowed to do magic whenever she pleased.
He looked down at her knowingly, "Want me to do it?"
"No. I really do like it the muggle way, it's how I've always done them since I was little." She tried to keep the pride from her voice and didn't do a great job of it.
"Well if we don't go to dinner, there'll be no food left. Mum wasn't expecting the twins to pop by." Bill told her, letting it go with a wink and a grin with her stupid stomach doing its familiar flip.
"You go on then, I'm not particularly hungry." She clung to her guns, she wanted dry nails and wanted to tuck that distracting stray piece of hair back behind his ear.
He looked thoughtful for a moment, as if debating his options then simply bent down and scooped her up. She let out a startled squeal he gave her a teasing smile. "I think I'll just deliver you to dinner."
"Put me down!" She scolded him, even as her arms were going around his neck to help stabilize his hold. Why did he always have to smell so good? It made it hard to think straight when she had to breathe him in.
"Right here? I've always wanted women to drop at my feet." He mock mused, seeming in a rather playful mood. "This was the better option, otherwise I would have summoned dinner plates for us and I rather think we would have ended up messes."
"Why can't any of you understand not everyone needs to eat a horse for dinner?" She lamented back. "Getting between a Weasley and food is a dangerous thing."
His answer was more serious than she was expecting, "We didn't have enough food during the First War, just the garden and the chickens. So many shops closed the Ministry was debating a rationing program."
"Oh." It was all she could manage, not being able to quite imagine what that would have been like for a family with so many mouths to feed. He abruptly changed course and headed for the orchard instead of the other side of the house where noises could be heard. "Bill, what are you doing?"
"You said you weren't particularly hungry and I'm in no rush to fight for a plate." He shrugged easily. "Plus, now I'm curious if I can summon one without spilling everywhere without being able to see it. That would be a fantastic trick to have."
"Beel? Beel!" Bill arms tensed around her and he turned around to face the beautiful French girl hurrying his way who stopped dead at seeing Hermione. Fleur's eyes were startled, "Beel, why are you carrying zat little geerl? Iz she 'urt?"
Hermione felt herself prickle at being described as such, Fleur's impatience pouring off of her. "Her nails weren't dry and -"
"Did you forgetz a drying charm?" It was said with the beginnings of anger. "Put her down."
"No, she didn't want a drying charm, Fleur. It's not a big deal." Bill seemed to be trying for logic, but she could feel him tensing up for a fight.
"It's ok, I'm sure they're dry enough." Hermione murmured, incredibly uncomfortable with the fact this was happening.
"No, I can see they're still wet." Bill told her, inexplicably deciding to be stubborn with both of them. He was as bad as Ron.
Fleur dropped into rapid French, unaware that Hermione spoke the language. "No. Bill, she wanted to be in your arms. She set it up. Why do you do these things to me?"
"Fleur, it's no different than if I were to carry Ginny. Why do you always overreact?" Bill shot back also in French.
"No different? Ginevra hasn't had articles written about her collection of men. I know her type-" Hermione felt herself flush with her own anger now.
"That's completely enough, Fleur." Bill's voice was sharp. "You know that wasn't true."
"Viktor thought it was and she broke his heart. She wants-"
"I said enough, Fleur. Do not have a jealous fit right now." Bill's tone brooked no argument, but Fleur seemed to be just getting started anger practically blasting out of her.
"Me? Jealous of a child that looks like that?"
Hermione had had enough said about her and decided to enter the conversation, her French was accentless from years of lessons. "It's nice to see you again, Fleur."
They both froze and Fleur glared at her, before stalking away. "We are not done, Beel."
Bill sighed, dropping back into English. "I'm sorry you had to hear that. She's… well, she gets worked up easily. I'll have her apologize to you once she calms down."
"She doesn't need to do that." Hermione offered, wondering why he would put up with it. "You can put me down now. I don't want to cause any problems."
"You're not. She got pouty that I ignored her when we came over after term ended and I talked to Ginny and Ron most of the time." Bill told her, then seemed to think he owed her some sort of explanation. "We're both in the Order and travel for work, so we don't see each other as often as we'd like. It drives her crazy if she doesn't have my undivided attention when we do get time and the Burrow is really hard for her because Mum and Gin hate her."
Then why on earth had Bill been planning on skipping dinner to sit with her and try and summon things? He was heading for the orchard again. "How are you doing with everything? I know you and Sirius were close."
She hadn't really talked to anyone about it, well she'd tried with Ron and Ginny, and they mainly talked about how devastated Harry was. She found herself wanting to talk to Bill about it, Bill was level headed and would listen. "I'm so worried over Harry, he's got so little left of his parents and sort of had flung all of that love at Sirius. You can't really talk to him though, he just yells or pushes you off by saying you wouldn't understand."
"That's Harry, how about Hermione?" He prompted gently, setting her down finally in the wide swing and sitting down next to her, gently kicking them into a rock. This was why he was skipping dinner, to make sure she was alright and she felt a happy glow at the realization.
She looked at her hands, "I miss him, but it's all twisted up. I feel guilty for letting us rush in, we'd told Snape and didn't wait for news. I just keep thinking about what I could have done differently to stop us from going or save us while we were in there. I couldn't even duel well enough to be a real help. Harry had to do it all by himself. Again."
"This may not change anything, but I don't think going to save someone you care about should ever make you feel guilty. Sirius did the same for you all." He squeezed her shoulder, "And not being able to duel a Death Eater who's murdered quite a few people isn't anything to be ashamed about at your age. Especially given the sporadic education you've been getting in Defense Against the Dark Arts. You all shouldn't have had to teach yourselves."
"We made such a mess of that and I feel terrible about that too, it was all my fault that Dumbledore had to leave. I'm the one that wrote the name on the paper." She felt tears almost threaten and pushed them away. She was not going to cry in front of him, not this man who was probably going to get himself screamed at all night for taking the time to check in on her.
"No guilt over that either. That's on Dumbledore and the Order, we tried to get a member to accept the post, but before we could decide who after the Board of Directors refused to rehire Remus we scrambled. The Ministry quickly made the decision in the middle of the night and appointed Umbridge." She frowned at his words, glancing at the regret in his ocean eyes at how everything had played out. She wondered who he went to when he needed to talk, she knew most of his younger siblings ran to him for advice.
"I didn't know any of that. Your Mum is so strict on telling us as little as possible." She kicked them again and he lifted one of her hands to get a better look at her nails and her stomach did it's usual happy flip when he didn't let go of her hand, instead giving it a comforting squeeze.
"Nice color with your tan. Mum's protective and right to be, but I think we've moved onto an open door policy now. Or at least I have, Sirius had the right of it. Keeping you all in the dark of it when you're on the front lines just as much as we are clearly didn't work." He shook his head, "Have you told your parents any of what's going on?"
She shook her head, "Not really, they think I was in a school accident like second year. They don't get the Prophet either, they unsubscribed after Rita wrote that horrible article about me that Fleur was referencing."
He winced, before looking thoughtful, "Perhaps you should let them know they need to be a little more aware of their safety? It's not that they could do anything, but we can make sure they have a phone number to get in touch with the Order if they see anything suspicious."
"I'll think about it, I'm afraid if they have any more contact with the magical world, they'll try and pull me from it." She sighed, "Professor McGonagall said she would make sure the house and business had a few protections added, but I couldn't feel any when I was home."
He nudged her shoulder, "That would be my fault, if it's got a big magical tag in a muggle neighborhood it would be a beacon. Their office looks terrifying by the way, your dad didn't have time to explain what he does."
She laughed, then paused. "Wait, you met my dad? He didn't mention it."
"Well, it seemed more polite to tell them I was a wizard setting wards up over just breaking in. I don't think I gave him my first name, he just immediately asked if I was a Weasley." He tugged his hair. "He said you'd barely come out of your room and asked if you would be safer with us if we were having to take protective measures. I don't think they're as clueless as you want to think, Hermione." He reasoned logically, scolding her lightly.
"They already know a little bit about the blood tensions after we ran into the Malfoys one year at the platform. My dad didn't really know how I was being insulted, but made people stare by loudly asking Mr. Malfoy what the bloody hell was wrong with him to be picking on a little girl. He was being difficult and my mum just turned it into a complete scene. The Malfoys very quickly left, you could say they fled." She ended rather smugly and Bill grinned back at her. Maybe she'd write a letter or go home for the last few days before term. She gave him a smile and a concession, "Maybe they'd be able to handle a little more information."
He gave her a half smile, imagining the sight. "That's my girl. As strong willed as you are, I figured you got it from someone." Her heart did that familiar flip at his wink, why hadn't she just grown out of this crush? Why couldn't he just do something wrong and she could just suddenly see the flaws? No, he had to tease her and defend her against his crazy girlfriend and then listen to her problems. She wished she just still fancied Seamus and he could blow up her caldron again and she'd be done with it.
She'd held her silence long enough that he asked, "Hungry yet?"
"You go on." She told him, not particularly wanting to sit there and get glared at.
He just took out his wand with a grin, "Let's give this a try. Accio Fred's plate."
The levity broke and she laughed, imagining Fred having no idea what was going on and accusing George. It came flying around the corner, Fred confusedly running behind it trying to catch pieces of chicken. Bill cracked up beside her, "Sorry, Fred! We're trying to see if we can summon dinner plates to eat over here. It's right tricky."
"Roger that." He called and grinned, "I'll make another. Try a bubble charm? Do Ron's next, it's full and he's being a fool since he's sitting next to Fleur and she keeps blasting him."
Bill threw him a thumbs up and Hermione rolled her eyes, "He's truly embarrassing around her. We had to take different routes to class after he tried to ask her to the Yule ball."
Bill shook his head, "She's doing it to get under Mum and Ginny's skin."
"Does it make you jealous when she does that?" Hermione asked before she could stop herself as summoned Ron's dinner plate.
He answered as they waited for it to come swerving around the house, "No. If you're going to date girls that look like Fleur you can't be the jealous type or you'd spend all of your time dueling people."
Insecurity flared in her and her stomach dropped, Bill dated girls that looked like Fleur, girls that everyone wanted. He always had and always would. He was still talking though, "You know that though, Krum was all set to fight Harry over you."
"Well, that was different. Viktor and I had a more-" This plate seemed to be in worse shape, food smashed all around inside the bubble.
He laughed at it, then looked over at her and stared at her until she felt uncomfortable, eyes searching hers and examining her features as if he'd never seen it before. "When's the last time you really looked at yourself in a mirror, Hermione? You got through your awkward stage and came out a swan."
She blushed down to her toes, too flustered to even thank him while he decided on his next target, his next words random. "I hope Charlie gets out of his awkward stage someday, he's still convinced if he tries hard enough he can grow just a bit more. He's not even short, just not freakishly tall like some of us."
Another plate came at them and this one seemed most successful. He grinned at it, "Oh, looks like a sticking charm works a little better. Should I apologize to George, you think?"
It was followed by a marching Mrs. Weasley, gravy all over her and peas in her hair. "William Weasley, stop it right now! You're ruining dinner. If you want food, you will eat it at the table just like everyone else."
"Yes, Mum." He obediently said, voice trembling with mirth.
"Oh Hermione dear, would you like me to bring you a plate? Do you need another hot water bottle to help your aches?" She asked, shoving gravy off of her face before glaring at Bill, "Is this why you're acting like you're six?"
"Laughter is the best medicine." His face was starting to break from his effort not to grin and she jabbed her knee into his.
"No, Mrs. Weasley. I'll be fine." She was struggling not to giggle and felt a pinch to her back in return, she couldn't look at Bill otherwise she would lose it. He managed to get a silencing charm up as his mother walked away and caught Hermione's eye and for the first time since Sirius died, Hermione really and truly laughed. She laughed so hard she cried, head bumping into his shoulder as she imagined what everyone else at the table must look like and had a stray thought that Sirius would fully approve. He was no better, throwing his arm around her and chortling without restraint.
"Just once more?" She choked out. "For Sirius?"
His wand flicked, but he couldn't quite get the charm out right because he was still laughing. There was a large sound of yells and crashing and as the tablecloth flew around the side of the house Hermione fell off the swing, her stomach clenching in giggles as she clutched at his leg from the ground. Which is how a very very displeased Mrs. Weasley and Fleur, united for once in their sheer rage at him, found the two of them and began screaming at him, his mother waving a serving spoon in her fury. He advised her still laughing, "Run for it, Hermione."
She wouldn't know the incident with Bill would be the catalyst for Fleur to begin giving him ultimatums to get engaged or break up, terrified of losing him to someone he could laugh with in a way he didn't with her. How she would wheedle, even offer to go stay at the Burrow to really try to get to know his mother.
Hermione yelped as she woke up, someone stumbling over her. "Who's there?"
Oh Godric, it was Bill's voice. He smashed onto her again trying regain his footing, "Sorry, sorry."
"Hermione." She managed completely choked as he smashed her again, throwing the cloak off of her while still trying to catch her breath from where he had slammed his boot and all of his weight onto her.
"Are you ok?" He bent down, lighting his wand. "What are you doing here?"
He pushed her hand away from where she was clutching her side, hand running along her ribs to check for breaks, she shoved it away completely embarrassed at the fact she was in her smallest pair of pajamas, "Sleeping." She let out a gasp, why did he have to be wearing combat boots? "What are you doing here?"
"Let me see where I hurt you." He shoved her hand away, one hand going back to brush her tank top, the other waving his wand. "I'm patrolling, you're supposed to be in your dorm. Not sleeping on the library floor."
She ignored his scolding, pushing his wand away and sitting up, finding she could breathe better. "I'm fine."
"Why are you sleeping here?" He demanded, frowning at his wand. "I think I cracked a rib. I need to lift your shirt."
"Absolutely not." She scuttled backwards from him, causing the hand on her ribs to get a little more familiar with her anatomy.
He held up his hands and sat back on his haunches. "Sorry, sorry wasn't thinking. I only know dig healing. Let me take you to the hospital wing."
His eyes flicked downwards from her face and stayed long enough she flushed, flinging her arms over herself. He looked away, the tips of his ears turning a guilty red and he swallowed. "Are you overdoing it on studying?"
She shook her head, trying not to worsen her flush. "It doesn't matter."
He gave her an intense look and her insides somersaulted as he gestured to the closest table and rose,"No! Not there, nobody can use that table."
He glanced at it and looked thoughtful, "Why are you sleeping near it then?"
"Because it's cursed." She told him, she'd tried to sit there a few times and just felt like someone was watching her so intensely she'd had to leave. It seemed everyone had the same reaction, part of why she'd chosen this hidden away spot near it. Nobody bothered it but first years who didn't know any better.
His face went from thoughtful to sheepish, "It's not cursed, pet. It's my old table." He was running his fingers underneath the edges, "There. Forgot to undo the rune when I left."
"What are you on about?" She asked him as he casually flipped the table, heedless of the noise. He grinned at seeing whatever he was looking for and flipped it back.
He winked at her, "I got agitated when other people had my table and when I checked out a book on curse breaking I tried a rune: ghost on ghost. Just makes everyone uncomfortable so I would always have my spot."
"Bill, that's-" She began to scold, how dare he do that to a library table?
"Awesome, I know." He cut her off. "Give me your bag, let me show you what else this baby can do."
Horrified and curious she did, Bill had ruined proper library property. He peeled off his zipup, passing it to her as she took it, "You've got goosebumps." She slipped it on, her insides twirling at his body warmth and how nice it smelled. It crossed her mind that he might be doing it to not look at her like that again and she wanted him to, she was of age, he was of age.
"See I was taking so many classes I didn't want to waste time with trivial things, so I made a ton of shortcuts. I swear to study." He tapped his wand and she felt the rest of the library feel like it melted away as the lines appeared on the table, the small astronomy map and potions conversions drawn directly on it. He grabbed at a small pile of stuff, "Guess I left that there. Wonder if the chocolate's still any good."
"Doubt it." Hermione offered, peering closer at what he'd done. "Is there a silencing charm up?"
"A small one, I made it so I could listen to the wireless without bothering anyone else." He grabbed her hand and shoved it on a little knob. "Here's the tuner."
He was still grinning as he threw her books on the table and tapped his wand at it, "Lessons learned."
Her books disappeared, sinking downwards into the top. He smiled up at her, "You don't have to shelve them or anything. You just swear to study and then hide them." He ran a hand over it like it was a familiar friend and Hermione took a seat, stomach flipping that he understood what having your own library space meant, that it had been so important to him he'd done all of this. Why couldn't he have been closer in age? They could have studied together at this table for hours, talked about which reference to use and always walk back to the common room together. His eyes were happy as he peered back at her, "Let me burn off my rune and you can have it. All the work is done. It's even got auto spelling correct and anti-cheating charms built in so nobody can copy your work."
Her insides were melting and fluttering like mad at the fact he'd loved learning just as much as she did. Her voice was soft, almost choked. "I'd…I'd like that."
"Bugger, can't see." A bunch of lights came out of his wand and hovered. He flipped the table again and zapped off his rune, redid it to recognize her, she watched in a giddy fashion as he pulled a knife out of his pocket and started to carve her initials under his to indicate ownership just as you would write your name in a book.
"There." He was smiling as he pocketed his knife then flipped it, looking at her for a long moment. His face dropped, his voice gentle as he motioned for her to sit down. "You've been crying. Hermione, what's wrong?"
This was absolutely not something she wanted to talk to Bill about. She snapped out of fantasy land and back into reality. He did not need to hear about the problems of a seventeen year old, Bill did things like parlay with goblins by day and take dangerous Order shifts at night. He was beyond the world she knew. "Nothing."
He looked her over, "Why are you trying to sleep here?"
"Saves time." She told him in a rather clipped fashion, looking away from him, hoping he would let it go.
He didn't. "Is it about a boy?"
"No."
"Are you getting called names again? Because I can-"
"I'm rowing with Ron and Ginny at the moment." She cut him off, not wanting to talk, but not wanting to sit there and listen to him conjecture at how pathetic her life was. She couldn't show her face in Gryffindor tower right now, there were no friends and Cormac was always lurking to offer another disastrous stroll.
He frowned, tracing something on the table. "You and Ginny always get along."
"She overheard me telling Harry that I thought we had better options for a reserve chaser than her boyfriend." Ginny would get over it by tomorrow, but for today she was agitated. Hermione privately thought it was more with herself for agreeing with the statement. She and Dean were already a mess and Ginny was hoping quidditch would help them get stabilized again.
"He's muggleborn, right? Likes football? Or is that the last one?" Bill asked, trying to place who she was talking about.
"Dean, yeah he's a nutter for football." She nodded, she did feel terrible about it, but she'd watched enough quidditch practices to know Dean was still unsure on his grip if he had an unexpected toss at him.
Bill shrugged, "They're not doing well anyway, Gin wrote that she's constantly aggravated with him. What's going on with Ron?"
"Nothing big. Just the usual." She tried again, avoiding his eyes, she really didn't want to talk about this with Bill. In her eyes Bill would never have done what Ronald was doing, would never be so emotionally unaware and inconsiderate. She was mad at Harry too, for not condemning him and just trying to be everyone's friend in the middle.
He didn't say anything for a long moment before settling on, "Tell me. I was a sixteen year old male once and can probably give you some insight."
She made the mistake of catching his serious ocean eyes and found herself spilling out what she'd only told Ginny. "He forgot Lavender's birthday and needed a gift. I'd gotten these pretty pearl earrings at Christmas that didn't have a sender and Ron wanted to borrow them."
Bill's face went dark."You didn't?"
She shook her head, "No. Ginny wouldn't let me and we all had a horrible row about it this morning. Ginny's not talking to Ron either." She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, fingering the earrings she'd put on just to spite Ron. "He said awful things. I'm not being a good friend or helping him because I despise 'his Lav'." Tears threatened, "He said I bought them for myself to make him jealous."
"Dammit, Ron." Bill's voice was sharp, "Don't let him talk to you like that."
She looked at her lap after a glance, he looked rather furious. Her was voice tentative with a tiny amount of hope rising, "Do you know who they're from? Ginny thinks it was Viktor, but he's not shy about presents."
He shifted, reaching for her wrist, for where the bracelet he'd picked out for her used to be. He dropped it abruptly at seeing nothing there and a glance at his face showed a conflict of emotions she couldn't read. His voice was controlled as he glanced at her other wrist where the bracelet from her parents was, "The earrings were from me. I got them to match your coming of age gift." His voice got very British formal, "Sorry if it wasn't to your taste."
"Bill-" She started and faltered, unsure what to say. She had read so much into those hours spent with him picking it out, her heart going crazy at the unexpected Hogsmeade trip that had felt very much like a date until Fred and George showed up to help celebrate her birthday in a manner they deemed proper. Which was getting her smashed. "Why didn't you send a note?"
"Fleur would've flipped that I did a Christmas present without her." His answer was clipped, "Look, Hermione I don't know why my brother is such an idiot or says the things he says, but I'll handle it."
"I don't need anyone to handle Ron for me, thank you very much." She snapped, anger starting to flare in her. She was not some damsel who needed a man to talk to for her.
"I'm not letting him grow up to be a fool." Bill snapped back, his eyes going back to her empty wrist.
"Bill," She started seeing the distinct hurt swirling with other emotions, she lied. "I had to take it off, I was playing with it too much in class."
His face was tight, "Ginny wrote that Ron and Harry were hassling you about your notes going down hill because you were distracted. I thought you were stronger than that. They shouldn't tell you what jewelry you can and can't wear."
Anger flared in her, she hadn't taken it off because they'd whined, she'd taken it off because Bill had gotten engaged and she couldn't look at the damn bracelet and daydream anymore. There was no future for Bill and Hermione, there was nothing but buried girlish dreams. She'd cried over it and found herself angrily lashing out at him before she could stop it, "Isn't that exactly what men do when they propose?"
It was his turn to look away, guilt all over his face and it clicked, the knowledge locking in and she suddenly understood. Bill knew. He'd always known about her crush. His voice was kind, apologetic even. "When you're older, you'll see there's a lot more to relationships than what meets the eye. Enjoy your time now where dating is still puppy love and just means Hogsmeade weekends and the fun of sneaking into empty classrooms."
She wanted to snap at him to point out that Fleur had gotten up to a whole ton of that when she was at Hogwarts, but it died in her throat. Her stomach felt like it was on fire and ashes filled her mortified mouth. She mechanically took off his light jacket, not wanting it to touch her anymore. Her words sounded high and insincere even to her own ears. "I'm sorry, I forgot to congratulate you." On your non-puppy love engagement, "The proposal sounded lovely."
"Oh, that's completely made up." It slipped out before he could stop himself and he winced. He retied his hair while she messed with her new table, her fun consolation prize, to try and hide the fact her insides were being stabbed with a hot poker as she retrieved her books. "Honestly? I'm just as bad as Ron, Fleur said she wanted jewelry for her birthday and since we were at a Gringotts gala we went to glance at the goods for sale. She picked out an engagement ring, put it on and started to make a fuss. I didn't want a huge scene so I just bought the damn thing. We were already living together anyway."
She couldn't even look at him, that was worse in a way. Bill, who she'd always thought of as strong and steady had gotten engaged to avoid being embarrassed around his coworkers. Her words were choked as she rose, "You should propose properly."
He muttered something that sounded an awful lot like he would if Fleur learned to behave herself. There was nothing left to say here, nothing to undo the damage of her broken heart. The veil had finally lifted, Bill was not the perfect man she'd thought he was for so long, not the extremely good looking and incredibly clever curse breaker who treated her like a friend. He was flawed, his traitorous and cowardly heart didn't beat for hers, she was a mere footnote in his life. To him she was a just cute childish distraction with her puppy love crush. Her words were clipped as she bent down to adjust her pillow, "I should get some sleep."
"You're not sleeping here." His tone had no room for disagreement, "It's completely unsafe."
"I don't care." She shot back.
"Well I do. You're going back to your dorm. Dumbledore isn't here tonight and I'm not letting you sleep in the library like a coward." He nudged her to the side and started to pack up her things while she stood there completely incensed at his comment.
"I'm not a coward." It was said hotly, angrily.
He just raised an eyebrow at her. "How exactly would you describe what you're doing?"
"Being practical." She snapped angrily, "I don't need to row with all of Gryffindor today."
He threw her bag over his shoulder, passed her the cloak and banished the pillow. He put his hand on her back to start propelling her out. She dug her heels in, still completely mortified that he knew. He knew and she couldn't stand it. She wanted him to go away, she wanted to fling a memory modification charm at him to save herself from this complete embarrassment. "I'm not going."
"You are and I'm going to charm the library so nobody can sleep here when they're being ridiculous." His voice was light and teasing. It didn't matter, the words stung like needles. He thought she was a ridiculous little school girl and wasn't she? With her daydreams of him, with having feelings for a man so far out of her reach he might as well be on a different planet. For her it hadn't been as simple as the crushes she had, not the blind admiration she'd held for Lockhart, not the sweet nervousness of dating Viktor or her slowly grown admiration of Ron and the burning anger that came from him dating Lavender. She had felt more for him and now it was gone, leaving her heart on a pyre in its wake.
She had to get away from him and only pride kept her from tears, only that Gryffindor courage helped her push her shoulders back and walk out of the library with any sense of dignity. He was the coward with the way he'd gotten engaged. Bill was chatting at her, "Ron will come around, Hermione. They won't even last to Easter, there's very few Hogwarts relationships that ever make it to summer. I guess Charlie and Tonks are the only couple I knew that made it and they were constantly breaking up and making up."
Tonks who Ginny was hoping Bill would leave Fleur for. Hermione just hoped he went back to Egypt and stayed there. Her voice was stiff, "I didn't know they went together."
"Oh yeah, for years. Charlie took it real bad when she finally did leave him for good." He grimaced, "Tonks was real sweet and went to Romania for the final blow and I had to go for the aftermath."
She wondered if Charlie had felt like this when it happened. If he'd looked at the floor and seen his heart shattered across it, every moment that he'd treasured glittering like a pieces of broken glass. She wondered if Charlie had taken the glass half full road and been happy he'd had the time or if he'd been able to hate her. She wanted to lock herself in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and sob her guts out, wanted firewhiskey, wanted to be hexed into oblivion. She wanted anything to not be walking with him with her ashen insides knowing she'd been made a fool. Wanted anything to not have to look back on their interactions and see how he'd humored her, had lowered his discussions of advanced magic to what she could handle, had responded to her letters, had winked at her when he caught her staring.
"I'm back at my tower."
"I'm making sure you go to bed." He told her, his face unreadable. He covered whatever he was feeling with a grin, "Besides I never got to see a girls' dormitory while I was here, I'm curious."
"You can't get in." She argued, reaching for her bag and found he was holding it hostage.
"Oh, sure he can. He's old enough to control himself." Lady Violet interrupted. "Coming to the castle and not even bothering to say hello to someone you saw for seven years, you should be ashamed of yourself."
"I'm sorry, Lady Vi, I was going to stop by later." He reached out and tickled her cheek and Hermione found herself wished he'd done that just once with her when he'd been so gently letting her crush on him. She smashed out the thought.
Lady Violet pouted at him, "I always liked you. Oooh, are you two secretly dating? Always both with your heads in books, barely ever stopping to chat. You'll do well."
Hermione wanted to throw up.
Bill opened his mouth to say something and she just couldn't stand to hear whatever it was and choked out the password. Lady Violet swung forward slightly outraged, "Well you don't have to be so rude about it. It was an innocent question."
Her night managed to get even worse, there was a familiar voice as she went through the portrait hole, "Won-Won. You're so funny."
Bill tugged her still for a moment as he came in behind her, his voice dropping to a whisper, "I'm never calling him anything else." He winked and this time her stomach didn't flip or twist. "Won-Won, you're out of bed after hours."
There was noise and Ron popped out from behind the tapestry, hiding the alcove popular for trysts. "What are you doing here, Bill?"
Lavender couldn't stop herself from peeking either, trying to stay hidden, but was startled enough to say, "Hermione?"
Bill gave Ron a pointed look that said Order as if his completely black fighting garb didn't. His lie was smooth as he motioned them to come out. "Astronomy tutoring."
"Hermione doesn't need tutoring." Ron said hotly and Lavender nodded as she slipped out, straightening her shirt.
Bill shifted and passed her everything he'd been carrying. "No she doesn't, but she wanted to know how the stars look farther East this time of year with Mars and Venus both out."
She nodded at his words, blindly saying. "I couldn't get a clear look at Coronis in class."
Why, why did she have to use a constellation of love? Bill gave her a gentle look and pecked her cheek, "Off to bed with you girls. Ron, come for a walk with me?"
"I'm sleepy." Ron yawned too and started to head for his own staircase.
She went with Lavender, glancing back to see Bill's very stern face. "Ron."
"Bill, don't." She scolded at the anger there, the last thing she wanted was Bill acting like her older brother on top of everything else. His eyes snapped to her, grazing her in a way that she once would have mistaken for want.
Ron's voice rose, "Don't look at her like that."
Lavender's voice was an excited whisper as they climbed the stairs, "He's very attractive."
"Yes." Hermione coldly agreed with her.
Lavender noticed, her voice hesitant as she offered an olive branch. "Can we do the Astronomy essay together? Professor Sinistra gives extra points if you bring the divination aspects in on the stars. I can help you with that if you'll check my numbers?"
Hermione hesitated, trying to listen to the low voices of the brothers. Lavender touched her arm, "Without Ron? You know how I am about my numbers problem."
Yes, Hermione did know that gossipy Lavender was intensely private about her learning challenges when it came to seeing numbers backwards. "Sure. Tomorrow night works."
"Is there something going on with you two?" Lavender tried even more gently as they hit their landing.
"No. He's engaged." She tried to hang on and failed, the last word coming out strangled.
"Oh, Hermione." She abruptly got yanked into a hug, "I'm sorry."
She burst into tears and unable to stop them let Lavender shuffle her into their dorm and onto her bed, calling for Parvati to grab the chocolate. They weren't close by any means and embarrassed as she was, there was some relief in watching Parvati set all of his letters on fire, a sick catharsis in watching her crush burn away just as surely as her heart had. She was grateful they stayed with her until she sobbed herself to sleep. Even more grateful upon waking up and finding someone had brought her breakfast and she managed a tiny smile at the scrawled note on the napkin 'His earring is stupid.'
She'd never know Bill and Ron heard her start crying and ended up rowing over it. She let his old table stay cursed and avoided that portion of the library. When he wrote to her she never opened his letters, just shoved them in her bag until she could throw them in the fire and watch them burn. She'd never know that Bill had been so conflicted over his growing feelings that he'd tried to banish her from his mind and failed miserably because he had a traitor heart.
Final Hogsmeade Weekend, 6th year
"Why aren't you ready?" Ginny demanded as she marched into her dorm.
"I'm not going." Hermione said, not bothering to glance up from her book. "Somebody should be here so Harry's not stuck alone."
"That's bollocks. Harry will be in detention all day. You're coming to Hogsmeade." Ginny started going through her trunk.
"I don't want to go, Ginny." She told her firmly and turned the page.
Ginny held up her green dress in response, "Yes, you are. Who's going to keep Dean and I from fighting? He says Seamus thinks you're bashing cute."
"I don't want to date Seamus." Hermione tried to argue as the dress hit her in the face. "Besides, I can't go. I turned down-"
"That hot seventh year Ravenclaw, which was completely mental of you, by the way." Ginny grabbed boots and gave her a grin, "Don't worry, I fixed it for you. Told him you'd been hit by a hallway hex and was just out of sorts. You're meeting him at the Three Broomsticks at one."
"Ginny!"
"What? He's quidditch captain and can I reiterate how hot he is?" Ginny was unrepentant as she grabbed her book away, "Go get dressed."
"I hate you sometimes." Hermione told her as she obediently rose, knowing Ginny was going to hassle her until she went and that it would be downright rude to stand him up.
When they got out of the carriage with Ron she was completely startled to see Bill lounging against a pillar with a lolly in his mouth. He kissed Ginny on the cheek, slapped Ron on the back and pecked her cheek tentatively. She made no move to return the gesture, knowing it was childish, but was too overwhelmed by the distinct scent of him and the cherry lolly. Her words were still filled with the jolt of seeing him, "What are you doing here?"
He raised an eyebrow at at the abruptness, "Hogsmeade detail. Where's Harry?"
"Detention with Snape." Ron made a face, "Snape's being a right git, taking all of Harry's Saturdays. He's even making him miss a quidditch match."
"McGonagall is furious over it." Ginny added, before lighting up slightly. "I'm going to play seeker!"
"Have you told Charlie? He'll be thrilled." Bill said as they all fell into step and she hated feeling his eyes on her, searching.
"He's written me tons of plays." Ginny confirmed. "Actually, I don't think he can be doing his job. He's writing me, Harry and McGonagall and the owls are coming at such strange hours."
Ron rolled his eyes, "Charlie and quidditch. I still don't get why he didn't go pro. Could've played for England."
Bill shrugged, "Because Charlie knows he's a terrible loser and drove himself mad trying to win the House Cup. You know how he gets." He pulled his lolly out to glance at his progress, waved it around in a general offer before popping it back in at no takers, "He still gets to fly with the dragons, which is what matters to him."
"He loves dragon quidditch, plus he plays in the Romanian pickups. Hates that he gets stuck with keeper a lot." Ginny informed them happily. "Oh Bill, look! You haven't seen the little snitch necklace they sent me for good luck."
Hermione smiled, Ginny loved getting presents more than anyone she knew, didn't matter if it was jewelry or something as small as a pack of tissues, Ginny just freaked in excitement at getting to unwrap anything. She privately thought the unexpected gift and the resulting good mood for over a week was the only reason her and Dean's bickering had taken a break. She tuned back in to Ginny's chatter, "-And he said if I catch the snitch he'll take me up on a dragon."
"That's just rude." Ron interrupted, "I don't get bribed for being a good keeper, now do I?"
"You're erratic and he's not your friend." Ginny said bluntly, before pausing, "Well, maybe they should bribe you. I'll write and fix it, Ronniekins."
"Don't call me that."
"Then stop acting like a child."
She accidentally caught Bill's eye and he rolled his at their antics as they came upon the quidditch shop. Ginny and Ron still lightly bickering as they went in. She didn't follow them, there was nothing in that store for her. Bill paused at the entrance and looked at her. She shooed him and headed off, "I'm going to the bookstore."
She was surprised when he fell into step with her a few paces later, his explanation light. "You're under protective detail. It's not just Harry we care about."
Nice to know he at least did his job, she supposed, kicking at her stomach's little flitter, like a used snitch with broken wings. "Oh."
Bill was eyeing her intensely. "Are you ok? You sent the book back and-"
"I've just been really busy with school." She cut him off, not wanting to go into why she wasn't writing him back. Not wanting to go into the fact he was the reason she'd taken to writing Viktor longer letters and had blindly agreed to stroll with Cormac to get him off her mind.
"Please don't patronize me, Hermione. Ginny said you've been in a funk." He tossed his lollipop in a bin and gave her a deep look.
"Ginny should keep her big mouth shut." Hermione said exasperated. She dreaded when Ginny got post because Bill had been trying to pester her through Ginny's mail as well. She just wanted to be left alone. "What's new with you?"
He looked upset for a moment, then hid it away. "Nothing much."
"Bill?" She asked tentatively, she might not want to care for him, but as much as it hurt she did. In a purely platonic fashion.
He glanced around and said, "Do you want tea?"
She nodded at the look on his face and let him pull her into Madam Puddifoot's. Embarrassed, she looked around and spotted her one pm date snogging his face off. Bill caught her glance, "Like him?"
"Ginny arranged for me to meet him later on a date. Not happening now." She informed Bill and let him order their tea, rather surprised at how many sweets he requested. His teeth were going to rot.
"Don't bother with it." He shrugged, "Guys are terrible at that age or at least I was. Got myself dumped left and right."
"I can't believe anyone would dump you." It slipped out against her will. She hated that her heart ached at seeing him, hated knowing this was just a way for him not to be bored, that talking to her was just a mission to him.
" If you want references the Ravenclaws my year and the year above started a 'Bill's a bad boyfriend' club." He looked off, remembering, "Think I got myself dumped four times sixth year."
"How did you manage that?" She asked, wondering if Bill was similar to Ron.
"Hadn't figured out when to cut my losses and stop arguing yet." Bill grinned, "Got myself dumped in class while we were learning aggression charms." He dropped a wink, "She even slugged me."
Godric, why did he have this pull to make her want to orbit him like the sun? It burned and hurt to see him wink and know it was completely nonchalant on his side. She glanced around again, trying to keep her voice casual. "I'll keep that in mind." She managed a bit more conversation, "Glad to see Luna's here with someone."
He glanced around and having no idea what Luna looked like, gave a helpless shrug. "So a ton of school?"
She nodded lamely, trying to shift the subject off her lie. Might as well torch her insides and get it over with. "What's new with you? The wedding is set for August right?"
The tea and sweets came at the moment and conversation was stalled, she watched him eat sweet after sweet as she fixed his tea and her own. His voice was tight, "Doubtful. Thanks." He sipped his tea appreciatively, voice steady. "I moved out."
That ember of hope lying under the ashes was trying to flare in her and she smashed at it, sipping her own tea. "I'm sorry to hear that. So you're back at the Burrow?"
He shook his head, "Godric, no! Nobody knows yet, so please keep it to yourself. I'm at Shell Cottage, recently bought it off my aunt." He fiddled his tea cup, "We think distance might help us reconnect. Or at least stop fighting so much that she keeps kissing other people." Another gulp of tea to try and cover just how unsettled he looked, "Shell's by the sea, great for swimming."
"I don't know how to swim." She told him dumbly, feeling a weird cold settle over her at not having any idea what to say to him about his relationship problems and not wanting to help, "I can keep my head up, but that's it."
He frowned at her, picking up her plate and began filling it with sweets. "We'll have to fix that. I'll teach you."
The last thing she wanted was Bill freaking Weasley teaching her to swim, shirtless with his sexy tattoo sticking out while she floundered about trying not to drown and he mooned over his wayward fiancee. "That's ok. I'm planning on taking classes this summer, the town over has a pool."
"I'll teach you, I've got a beach." He said it again, more firmness in his voice before he stole a sweet he'd just put on her plate.
What was she supposed to say? Viktor had tried, but the lake had been cold even with warming charms and she'd been so flustered at him helping hold her she'd just been unable to focus. Was she supposed to tell him that Draco Malfoy had watched a lesson and taunted her mercilessly until Viktor found out and put a stop to it? She pushed her thoughts away. "I think the lessons will do."
"You should learn both muggle and magical." He told her lightly, making a very Molly Weasley motion for her to start eating. "Get some before I really get going."
"Probably." She picked idly at a shortcake for something to do, not knowing what to say. Everyone around them was kissing and she was stuck at a table with an unavailable man who was very much in love and stuck in a cracked relationship. A man she'd once blindly adored and now looked at with a strange mix of want, broken dreams and humiliation. She glanced away from his gentlemanly efforts, forcibly reminding herself that Bill was a prat. Scolding herself that he'd always known about her crush and just encouraged it for his own amusement, heedless of any affect it might have on her.
"You've got learn to swim through riptides if you're ever going to ocean swim." Bill started chatting at her, refilling her tea as she avoided looking at him.
"Oh, there's Cormac." He was walking in and lit up at his name, making a beeline for her, abandoning his friends.
"I knew you'd come around, darling." He greeted, kissing her right on the lips and she tried not to flush at the presumption. This was a terrible situation and she had to decide if she wanted to deal with avoiding Cormac or Bill. One was a squid and the other had too much awkwardness.
She made her excuses and almost ran for the bathroom in a panic. In desperation she took her very fist WWW product, half a nosebleed nougat she'd confiscated. She stayed in the bathroom, panicking worse because she didn't have the antidote and was completely light headed when Bill started banging on the door asking if she was alright. She was swallowing her own blood as he flung it open and his concerned ocean eyes were the last thing she saw before she blacked out.
When she came to in the hospital wing Fred was tying balloons to her wrist joking that he couldn't lose her in a crowd that way. He'd completely monopolize the attention to where both Bill and Cormac simply left. When Bill sent her get well peonies she wrote him a thank you note and when he wrote back her heart revealed itself as a traitor to her, showing it's true loyal colors to one Bill Weasley. She read it and it was Parvati that found her laying on her bed, ashes and embers floating down from the burning letter onto her tears.
6th Year, Battle of the Astronomy Tower
The Death Eaters started fleeing and Hermione's dueling partner took off at run, she looked around and saw someone on the floor, covered in blood. She ran over dropping down as Tonks threw a stretcher from her wand, "Get him to the hospital wing."
Tonks took off after the Death Eaters and Hermione's heart dropped, stomach clenched at seeing Bill. Her voice was shrill, "Bill? Bill?"
He groaned in response and she flung her wand, getting him onto the stretcher and started running with it levitating, finding Ginny falling into step, grabbing Bill's hand. "Bill? Bill? Oh Bill, please be alright."
She grabbed his other hand, to help guide the stretcher down the stairs, his hand slippery with blood, he looked awful, half of him just seemed to be bloody shreds. They slammed into the Hospital Wing, both screaming furiously for Madam Pomfrey. She came out at a run and took one look at him, with a swish had him on a bed, "What happened?"
"I didn't see, Death Eaters are in the castle." Hermione said.
"Werewolf." Bill mumbled it painfully.
Madam Pomfrey took right back off for the potions cabinet and Hermione squeezed his hand, "Ginny, go floo your parents."
Ginny stood there frozen, bustled aside by Madam Pomfrey. "Now, Ginevra. Use the floo in my office." She shoved a potion at Hermione, "Give him this."
She lifted his head and poured it down his throat, supremely thankful that whatever mangling had happened had missed the vulnerable column of his neck. Madame Pomfrey seemed to be banishing the blood, and dropping something silvery over his face. "If you're not squeamish, I'll need help giving him potions. Red one now. Try and keep him awake."
It didn't matter, even if she was squeamish, this was Bill. She helped the potion down, glancing at it and strove to keep her voice from cracking, from filling with tears or panic. "That one was blood replenishing, Bill. I bet it didn't taste good."
He grunted, his breath small hisses at every application Madam Pomfrey made of the silvery substance. He opened one of his eyes, the ocean so filled with pain she almost did cry. "Hermione?"
"I'm right here, Bill." She squeezed his hand and he turned his head slightly to look at her, opening his mouth to ask. She tried to reassure him,"Ginny and Ron are fine."
"You?" He sounded choked, "Fuck."
"Not a hair out of place." She brushed at his again, "Harry gave us Felix Felicitats, he had a feeling."
Ginny and Ron were back, Madam Pomfrey flinging her wand to shut them out of the privacy curtain. She called. "No family yet."
A potion nudged Hermione's hands, "Bill, you've got another potion."
She got it down his throat and poured a little water, helping him sip it, brushing his sweat off of his face. She fell into playing the aide, helping him sit up, rambling at him to cover the sounds of Ginny's rage and Ron trying to comfort her. Covering the sounds of Ginny just shutting it off and ordering Ron to stay so she could go find Harry or kill someone.
Madam Pomfrey's voice was firm, "Lean against Hermione, Bill. I need to do your back."
She leaned forward, taking his weight on his non brutalized shoulder, Godric he was so weak. His good arm, loosely wrapping around her back as he hissed in pain. He looked like he was going to pass out. "You're doing great, Bill. Just stay with me, ok? Just it let out, keep cursing."
She shifted to hold him better, he was not light. "My fucking blood is burning." He twitched against her, words barely audible, "What the hell is happening to me?"
"I don't know, Bill, but it's going to be ok. I've got you and you can play all of your video games when you're getting better. I won't even try and have a turn." She reassured him louder to try and cover the increasing hysterics outside of the curtain, his mother and father having arrived. She reached up to stroke his hair as he buried his still bloody face into the crook of her neck with a pain filled groan, he was starting to shake and she clutched at him as best she could trying to keep him from jerking at the burns of the liquid on his cuts.
"Another blood replenishing." It was an order and she lifted his head up to administer it, he shoved it directly back into her shoulder and she could feel hot painful tears soaking her skin.
"I know it hurts, Bill, but soon the pain potion will kick in." She tried to soothe him, but how could you soothe someone who was just mauled by a werewolf? Who was going to become one?
"I don't want this, mon cherie." His teeth were grazing her shoulder and she felt tears burn her eyes, his voice didn't resemble his own, just confusion and she wondered if he recognized who she was anymore.
"I know. I know."
"Smell like roses and ginger." He ground into her neck, his jaw clenched, sniffing her as he flinched. "Like."
"My shampoo and soap." She told him softly, stomach twisting, too worried to completely flip at the complement. She could feel her magic starting to pour off of her again as she stroked his hair, desperation not lending any gentleness to combat the fire burning through his blood.
His eyes were neon when she glanced down, completely devoid of the Bill Weasley she knew. He was lost. He sniffed again, his voice painfully possessive. "Mine."
'Yes." She told him, not knowing what else to say as his arm twitched around her, his blood soaking into her. It was a truth in it's own way, whether she'd ever wanted it part of her would always belong to Bill Weasley, she'd always be able to thank him for her first broken heart and love sick obsession. He'd always be the standard for other boys, be the one she had to remind herself was a flawed man. Another truth slipped out, "I'm not going anywhere."
"Bill, where were you bitten? I can't find the bite." Madam Pomfrey cut in.
"Wasn't, jaw sticking charm." He seemed to be trying to bury himself in her as he got even weaker.
"Beel! Beel?!" The repeated caterwaul came from as soon as Fleur exited the floo, Fleur trying to rip open the curtain to get to him.
Hermione stroked his hair, "Fleur's here now, hear her? Everyone's just waiting to see you. "
Whatever he was trying to say just came out as a pain filled groan. His jaw was still clenched against her as he flinched at the application to particularly deep cut. Hermione could feel his magic pulsing with his pain, riddled with anger and lined with a fight against whatever was happening in his blood.
"Godric she's loud." Madam Pomfrey muttered and abruptly their little area went quiet, covering the noises of Fleur and Mrs. Weasley, of Ron explaining again.
Hermione rested her head on his, lips brushing his hair, still trying to get her stomach from feeling like she was getting hit with bludgers at the horror at what had happened to him, at the complete discomfort he was in. "You were very brave. I'd never seen you duel before, I don't think I even knew half the spells you were using. So much of it was non-verbal, I have no idea what you were throwing."
He went limp against her, all of his weight sagging into her. "Madam Pomfrey, I think he passed out."
The mediwitch sighed, "Lean him back and we'll roll him onto his side. Give him another pain potion and sleeping potion first."
While Hermione did as she was told, the mediwitch was frowning, "I do wish he could have held on a little longer while I did his back. The wounds close better if the person's conscious enough to have their magic help."
Hermione's hackles rose at the implication Bill was somehow weak. "He did admirably for someone who just got brutalized by a werewolf and lost all that blood."
"Of course he did, dear." She did one last application and wiped her bloody hands on her apron. "He was such a good looking boy." She sighed heavily and looked guilty that it had slipped out. "Will you stay until the sleep potion kicks in and he stops groaning?" She didn't wait for an answer, opening the curtain just enough to step out.
Hermione smoothed his hair one more time, looking at his torn open face before having to look away. It didn't matter how Bill looked, it didn't matter if he lost his easy grin or stomach flipping wink. It only mattered that he was alive, that he would still get to tease his brothers and have deep theoretical conversations. She noticed he still had his shoes on and set about taking them off.
"Hermio-." He mumbled it, though his eyes didn't open and she thought he might be in a potion induced dream. Once she had his shoes off she poured cool water into the basin and set about cleaning his face, there was no need for him to look in worse shape than he was when his family saw him. Her hands shook, her heart quavered, a deep ache settling there and now several tears did drop. He's going to live, she scolded herself, there's something to be thankful for. If anyone was strong enough for this it was Bill.
Madam Pomfrey's words were drifting back through, "He's been badly mauled and will carry the scars for the rest of his life, but the good news is he wasn't bitten."
"'Ow is that good news?" Fleur demanded and Hermione wondered if the distance had helped the couple since the last time she'd spoken with Bill.
"He won't transform at the full moon." Some of the tight brick in her stomach unclenched, it was a small grace in a dark time. She grabbed a blanket and laid it over his bottom half, tucking his feet in, thinking it was pointless as Madam Pomfrey was likely going to move him to a clean bed. She tried to stop her crying as she went back to blotting at blood edging his wounds, cleaning his hand so whoever held it next wouldn't have the sticky, slick feeling. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to leave his side, to step out of this privacy curtain and hide away her unreciprocated feelings. She just kept trying to clean him, her shaking hands unable to stop constantly touching his face or hair, trying to smooth out the lines of pain he had even in sleep.
When Madam Pomfrey came back through the curtain and shut it behind her, she gave Hermione a very pitying look. "Go out the back and get yourself cleaned up. I'll finish with him."
She shook her head and dipped a new towel into the fresh water she'd poured, clutching it close. Madam Pomfrey took it from her forcefully, handing her a potion. "Take this calming draught, you're shaking."
She grabbed another towel, trying to ignore the fact Madam Pomfrey was right, she was shaking and crying. "I -I can't leave-"
"You can." Madam Pomfrey tipped the potion towards her, glancing between her and Bill, her voice kind. "It's all over your face, child. Go out the back."
Hermione drank the potion and stumbled towards the hospital bathroom, not knowing or caring if anyone saw her. She looked horrid in the mirror, blotchy, wide eyed and afraid. Bill's blood coating her hair, neck and shirt, her hands covered in it from clenching his. She couldn't stop herself from being sick and somehow it helped. She fell into methodically cleaning herself up, scrubbing her hands and wiping his blood from her neck, washing the part of her hair with soap. She tried to clean it from her shirt with magic, but was too shaky, so she simply turned her shirt around and put her light hoodie back on, hiding it. The calming draught kicked in and she was able to fall into a strange icy place that allowed her to go back out to the group, to be pulled into Ron's arms as he made sure she was ok. She was running on the ice to shift to checking on Ron and slipping into her role of the rock, firing question after question about where Harry was and mentally getting ready for the next blow.
Near dawn she went back for his wand, feeling cold inside and out, and found him starting to stir. She tripped over Charlie on the floor and Fleur woke out of her light doze, rag still in hand at her vigilant position by his bedside. She had no idea that if she hadn't stumbled and woken Fleur his healing would have gone smoother and his lips would have met her own so much sooner. No clue that while she hid her parents and packed them away that they would end their relationship. A guilty weight would lift off his heart and he when he looked at his wounds becoming scars he would hope when she came for summer she would still see him underneath his new look.
She would.
A/N: You do know you want to leave your thoughts :) Bill wants to hear them.