What you are about to read is probably going to be very odd. My assignment for literature this week was to write a fanfiction about the book Pride and Prejudice... and my teacher asked me to combine it with some elements of Doctor Who! So I basically spent all week writing a Doctor Who/Pride and Prejudice mashup thing, about 11,500 words in total. I decided I may as well post it on here, in little sections at a time. I think it's actually one of the best Doctor and Clara pieces I've written. The thing is: I don't know how many of you have actually read Pride and Prejudice, so I'm going to include a short summary below this author's note. Also, I need to know what your thoughts are on the matter. If you read this first installment and don't enjoy it, please let me know, because then I won't bother posting the next two. If you do enjoy it, I would also like to know, so I know to post the rest. Thanks for reading. Hope you all enjoy.

~IF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ PRIDE AND PREJUDICE SKIP THIS BIT~

A short summary of Pride and Prejudice:

Basically, there's this family called the Bennets who live in Longbourn in England in the 1800's. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet have five daughters: Jane, Elizabeth (the protagonist, who's witty and sarcastic and awesome), Mary, Kitty, and Lydia, who has a thing for army officers (Fun fact: Jenna Coleman played Lydia in a BBC pride and prejudice spin off! But I digress.) Anyway, this dude called Mr. Bingley rents Netherfield Hall, near Longbourn, and invites the Bennets to a ball there. He is totally in love with Jane, and Jane loves him back. Elizabeth falls in love with a guy called Wickham, but she absolutely despises Bingley's best friend, Darcy, who is in love with her, though she doesn't know it. Then stuff happens, and Elizabeth realized Wickham is actually a lying toad, but she learns that her sister Lydia has actually run off with him. Darcy, whom she still hates, ensures that no shame is brought to the Bennet family by making sure that Lydia marries Wickham. Elizabeth realizes that she really does love Darcy, and she marries him and Bingley marries Jane and everyone is happy. So yeah.

Clara leaned against the railing of the TARDIS as the Doctor flew around the console, toggling switches and pulling levers. "So where are we off to today?" she asked eagerly, her chocolate-colored eyes gleaming with excitement. "Time of the dinosaurs? Ancient Mars? New New Greece on some planet two galaxies over?"

"Well," the Twelfth Doctor grunted, the coattails of his waistcoat flying behind him as he deftly maneuvered his spindly body from one side of the console to the other, "I was thinking we'd go to the Fire Caverns of Jundmon, Third Moon of Corinth-5. Sound good?"

"How should I know?" she countered. "I've never been."

The Doctor glanced up at his petite companion and frowned, his hedgy eyebrows drawing together like giant fuzzy caterpillars. "Don't do that. Stop being smart. I don't like it when people are smarter than me."

Clara giggled. "Egomaniac."

He knew that this was one argument he couldn't win, so he wisely stopped talking and instead pushed the final button necessary to set the TARDIS in motion.

Instantly both he and Clara were thrown to the floor as the TARDIS began to shake violently. A blaring alarm penetrated the air as the lights set into the ceiling reddened and began to flash ominously. "What's going on?" Clara cried, struggling to pick herself up from the metal grates that comprised the floor. Another vehement shudder ensured that her efforts were in vain, knocking her to the floor once more. "What's gone wrong?"

"I've no idea," the Doctor replied grimly. He had managed to get up, and was now clinging to the console for dear life. "Probably nothing good."

And then, as the last word fell from his lips, the commotion stopped, just as suddenly as it had started.

Clara staggered to her feet, her plaid dress rumpled and her French-toast colored hair sticking up in every direction. Her face was smudged with dirt from the floor. "Where are we?" she inquired hesitantly, attempting to smooth her hair back into place but only succeeding in making it worse.

The Doctor's Scottish burr sliced through the air. "Let's find out, shall we?"

He pushed the TARDIS door open with his knuckles and cautiously poked his head through the gap. Clara stood on her tiptoes in an attempt to peer over his shoulder, but found with some irritation that she was too short. "Well, what do you see?" she demanded crossly. "Where are we?"

The Doctor cast a glance at his companion. "I think… we're in England."

"What, you mean we didn't go anywhere?" Clara shoved him out of the way so that she could see for herself.

The TARDIS had landed in the middle of a rolling green meadow dotted with cheerful pink and yellow flowers. Several stately mansions were visible in the distance, behind a winding dirt road that led into a thick forest. The cornflower blue sky was dotted with pale clouds that filtered the sunlight enough to prevent sunburn, but allowed just enough through to cast a golden sheen on the meadow and the tops of the trees.

"Okay, we definitely went somewhere," Clara amended. "Or somewhen, at least. How do you know it's England?"

"I just do. Don't question it."

Clara stuck her tongue out at the Doctor behind his back as he went back into the TARDIS. She trailed after him as he crouched down to peer at the underside of the console. He experimentally touched some circuits with his finger, which he then licked, much to her disgust. "Tastes metallic," he commented, springing to his feet. "That means the TARDIS got aggravated somehow, enough that her circuits malfunctioned. Her circuits have failed before… usually when that happens she lands in a random spot so she can recover for a bit."

The explanation meant nothing to Clara, but she nodded wisely as though she had been hanging on his every word. "So I reckon we can go out and explore for a bit, then?"

The Doctor stared at her as though she were mad. "What? No, we most certainly can't. The TARDIS should be recovered by now, so we can go to the Fire Caverns of Jundmon, as planned."

"Oh, come on, Doctor! When do you think we are – eighteenth century England? Nineteenth century England? We've got to explore a bit! The Fire Caverns of wherever can wait." Without waiting for a response, she fastened her hand around his elbow and marched him out of the TARDIS, pausing only to close the door behind her. "Let's go."

"This is really, really a bad idea, Clara," the Doctor warned her. "We're not supposed to be here. We could change history."

"That could happen anywhere," she replied. "And as for bad ideas, don't tell me that traveling with you isn't one."

The Doctor really couldn't respond to that, so he subsided into a grumpy, disapproving silence which he resolved to maintain for a good long while.

Then he noticed that Clara's chosen path was taking the two of them far too close to the nearest house. "No, no, no," he snapped, forgetting his disapproving silence and trying to wriggle free of her grasp, but failing (for such a small woman, her grip was surprisingly strong). "We are not going there."

"Yes, we are. I want to find out where we are. This is England. They won't even look at us funny. They'll probably ask us in for tea."

"And what exactly are you going to tell them?" he demanded.

"That's your job," Clara smirked, leading him to the house's front door. The house was built in a simple but pleasant style, and was painted white. Its front door was made of mahogany wood, and bore an inscription that read, Bennet.

Clara rapped sharply on the door and was rather impressed when it was opened immediately. "Lizzy, if that's you, you'd best come in and – oh!" A stout, plain-looking woman gaped rather stupidly at Clara and the Doctor in astonishment. "And who are you?" she demanded, finally recollecting her wits a few seconds later.

The Doctor fished his physic paper out of his pocket and silently held it up for her scrutiny, waiting for it to invent identities for them that pleased the woman. She stared at it blankly. "Sir, I know not what you mean by showing me this vacant parchment, but I can assure you it is not humorous in the slightest."

His eyebrows rose slightly. "Sorry," he apologized, stuffing it back into his waistcoat. "Just, erm – a joke. I'm the Doctor, and this is Clara."

Clara curtsied dramatically. "Gadzooks! 'Tis a pleasure to meet thee, my – " A sharp nudge from the Doctor prevented her from finishing her sentence. Indignant, she glanced back at him. His eyes said Don't. Really, don't. Stop talking right now.

He cleared his throat. "Well, we've been traveling this road for many a day, and we'd be much obliged if you could tell us where we are."

"Why, Longbourn, of course," the woman answered promptly with some surprise. "So you are strangers then? We have so little news of other places here. Perhaps you both could stay for dinner and tell us of the goings-on in London, or wherever you both may be from. My daughters Jane and Elizabeth and my husband, Mr. Bennet, would so love to know, although I fear my daughter Mary is far too absorbed in her books to care, and dear Kitty and Lydia care about nothing more than the officers stationed in Meryton. But for the rest of us it would be a pleasant treat." Her eyes lingered on the dirt smudged on Clara's face. "And perhaps you would enjoy the opportunity to clean away the filth obtained while traveling," she added doubtfully.

Clara, noticing that this remark was addressed mostly to herself, frowned and raised a hand to her face. It came away smeared with dirt. She stared at in mortification and opened her mouth to accept the lady's kind offer.

"Thank you, but I think we must get back to our travels," the Doctor cut her off grimly. He steered Clara away without so much as a parting smile.

The woman stared after the duo in shock and bewilderment. "What awful manners!" she ejaculated angrily, "What awful manners! I shouldn't like his type staying here anyway – imagine what sort of influence he should have on my poor daughters." With that, she closed her front door with a bang.

"Why did you say no?" Clara hissed as they strode away. "And more importantly, why did you not tell me there was dirt on my face?"

"I couldn't tell your face was dirty. It looked just like it normally does. And we have bigger problems then your face, Clara. I know where we are, and we have to get out of here right now."

She frowned at the insult. "Oi!"

The Doctor ignored her. "Listen to me. All those names. Bennet. Elizabeth. Jane. Kitty. Do they mean anything to you?"

"Well… those are the names of the characters in Pride and… no way," Clara breathed, suddenly realizing what he was implying. "You've got to be kidding me! Stop mucking about."

"Nope. The TARDIS got aggravated… by a breach between universes. There are millions and millions of parallel universes, but they're all sealed off from each other. Sometimes, though, there are little holes in the walls between them, and the TARDIS can fall in." He paused, and then added, "We're in a parallel universe where Pride and Prejudice is real. And we are leaving it right now." He picked up his pace so that he didn't have to address Clara's complaints.

Clara huffed and jogged to catch up. "Why can't we stay?" she protested. "We can't do any harm."

The Doctor sighed. She'll go on like this until I tell her. "Look, I've been in a parallel universe before, and it nearly destroyed the entire life of one of my friends. I don't want to stay here any longer than we have to. I don't want anything happening to you."

"Well, I appreciate the thoughtfulness – which, by the way, sounds really weird coming from you – but I can take care of myself," Clara shot back. "Besides, how are the Fire Caverns of – of that place – less dangerous than where we are now? You were going to take me there."

"It's called Jundmon. And parallel universes are funny places, Clara. Anything can happen. We could die. We could get stuck in here. We could accidentally kill a major character, and who knows what effect that would have on the book? I just don't know. There are too many 'I-don't-knows'. The sooner we get out of here, the safer for both of us."

Clara huffed again. "You're no fun."

"Oh, really? Well, you can just take yourself back to Earth and park yourself on your little sofa and start watching the telly, then. If that would be more fun, be my guest," he snapped acidly.

She held up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, point taken. Let's get out of here and go somewhere else."

They pushed their way through a field of rippling, knee-high grass to get to the TARDIS. "If you really want to see nineteenth-century England, I can take you another time," the Doctor commented, placing a hand on the TARDIS door to open it. "But right now we should – " His sentence was cut off as he walked smack into the door –having expected it to open at his touch, he hadn't considered the possibility that it might not. Surprised, he stumbled backwards, gingerly rubbing his face.

Clara bit back a laugh. "How's that massive nose of yours feeling after that, Doctor?"

He glared at her.

"What?" she protested innocently. "Just getting my revenge for not telling me about the dirt."

"You're still on about the dirt," he grunted, finally lowering his hand. "Why don't you help me figure out why we can't get into the TARDIS instead?" He pushed the door with both hands, hoping it would open with the application of more pressure, but nothing happened.

"Maybe she wants us to stay and explore a bit," Clara mused.

Ignoring her, the Doctor turned his head and rested his ear against the door. After a few seconds, he pulled away, looking thoroughly disgruntled. "There's no hum," he announced in a grouchy tone of voice. "Even when the TARDIS is off, there's always a little hum from the engines. It's gone. The jump to the parallel universe must have cut her power. She had just enough left to land us safely and let us out before her power went completely."

"But… if her power's cut… why is that stopping us from getting in?"

"Sometimes a power cut can activate her defense mechanism. She might assume she's in trouble and lock the doors from the outside and the inside… so nothing can get in or out. It'll take a few hours for the power to reboot, and then the doors will automatically reopen."

"Basically, we can't leave until the power's back on," Clara summarized.

Despite his annoyance, the Doctor felt a glimmer of amusement at the excited light shining in Clara's eyes. "Basically," he agreed.

Clara whooped. "Yes! So now we can go explore."

Nothing else would placate her, so the Doctor reluctantly agreed. "Fine. But leave the talking to me if we meet anyone. You sounded absolutely ridiculous back there."

Clara determinedly ignored the insult, resolving not to let the Doctor's cantankerousness spoil her mood. "Come on, let's go walk around a bit," she suggested. "We can go to the forest or something."

They'd been walking no more than a few minutes when Clara noticed a figure ambling towards them. She was close enough for her to be able to make out her features. The woman had intelligent, lively grey eyes, a spray of light freckles across her pert nose, and curly, light brown hair tucked beneath a wide bonnet. "Oh my stars," Clara giggled. "It's Elizabeth Bennet."

"What?" The Doctor frowned. "How do you know?"

"That's how I always pictured her," she explained.

"Bet you ten quid it's not her," the Doctor snorted.

"Done."

The figure approached and waved a cheery hello. "A fine day, isn't it?" she greeted them gaily.

Clara, purposely disregarding the Doctor's request to let him do the talking, smiled back. "It really is," she responded. "And you are…?"

"Why, how rude of me! My name is Elizabeth Bennet."

Clara stared at the Doctor triumphantly. "Told you so," she whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

Now I have to find ten quid, he moaned to himself. The last quid I had got thrown into a nebula.

Elizabeth was still talking. "Who might you be? Travelers, I suspect, for I haven't seen you around here before."

"That's right," Clara smiled. "I'm Clara, and this is my…" She frantically racked her brains for a believable identity to assign to the Doctor.

"Husband, of course," Elizabeth promptly supplied. "You make a charming couple."

The Doctor and Clara gaped at each other in horror. "Sorry, but there is no way in–" Clara began.

However, realizing that everyone they met would probably assume the same, the Doctor intercepted her. "Yes, thanks, I'm quite sure we do. I'm John Smith. We're coming from down Blackpool… as you can tell from Clara's accent. We left our – carriage… in the field back there so we could go for a stroll."

"Ah, I thought I recognized a Blackpool accent," Elizabeth cried joyfully. "It is a pleasing sound to hear."

"Really?" the Doctor asked interestedly. "I thought it was sort of grating."

"Okay," Clara interrupted, flashing him a dangerous stare, "that's enough about my accent, thanks very much. We'll get out of your way, Elizabeth."

"Oh, but I am enjoying your company very much," the young woman declared earnestly. "It isn't often one meets others along this path. And I was just about to ask you if you knew of Mr. Bingley's ball at Netherfield this evening."

Clara suppressed a delighted giggle. This was turning out just like the book! "Well, I can't say I did," she answered. "We're only here to visit my sister. I didn't know there was a ball."

"I should like it very much if you both would come. You seem intelligent, Clara, and there are not enough intelligent people to speak to these days. We could become good friends – I should not be surprised if I had told you all my deepest secrets by the evening's end. That is how much I have taken a liking to you already."

Clara was, frankly, enchanted by the prospect of going to a ball. "I would love to come… but is it okay for you to invite whoever you want?" she asked Elizabeth dubiously.

The lady waved a hand dismissively. "The more the merrier. Mr. Bingley is the sort of man who would welcome you with open arms rather than resent your coming uninvited. Besides, you have got an invitation, from me." Sighting the eagerness in Clara's eyes, she continued, "Do say you'll come. I should think your sister would not begrudge you an evening in our company."

The Doctor did not like the path this conversation was taking. "She most certainly would, and we are most certainly not going to a – "

His sentence was abruptly cut off by a grunt of pain as Clara stepped on his foot. She stood on tiptoe to reach his ear. "GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE," she hissed venomously, causing him to recoil from her ferocity. Then she smiled apologetically at Elizabeth, who was watching the proceedings with more amusement than shock. "Sorry, he's Scottish… you know how they are up there, always forgetting their manners," she explained apologetically. "We'd love to come to the ball."

Elizabeth beamed. "Then I insist you come back to my house with me and meet my family. You can make the necessary preparations there. If you don't mind, I shall go a little bit ahead to warn them of your arrival."

The Doctor waited until she had gone before rounding on Clara and beginning his tirade. "What happened there?" he demanded. "I said leave the talking to me, and you did exactly the opposite! And now we have to meet that foul Mrs. Bennet again!"

"That's a definite downside," Clara admitted. "But we get to go to a ball! Don't tell me you're not a tiny bit excited."

"I have had enough of balls to last me a lifetime, Clara. I never want to go to one again."

"Well, stuff it then, because we're going." She saw that he really was angry and softened her tone. "Look, if it helps, I promise not to do anything crazy. We're just going to a ball. We're not going to destroy the universe. No aliens. No spaceships. Just a ball. And as soon as it's over we'll head back to the TARDIS. Now if you're done being grumpy, you can tell me why the physic paper didn't work on Mrs. Bennet."

The Doctor wasn't done being grumpy, but he knew that saying so would potentially be extremely dangerous for his face (Clara could slap people with more accuracy and power than even Donna Noble, which was a rather impressive achievement). "It doesn't work on people who have remarkable strength of mind," he replied shortly. "It also doesn't work on people with no imagination."

"Mrs. Bennet falls into the latter category, I'm guessing," Clara smirked.

A reluctant smile tugged at the Doctor's lips. "That's a reasonable assumption."

They started off after Elizabeth. "I wonder what sort of food they'll have at the ball," she mused aloud. "Do they still have ox tongues and boiled carp in the nineteenth century?"

"Mmmm," the Doctor grunted.

She sighed. "This is going to be a one-sided conversation, isn't it."

"Probably."

The walk to the home of the Bennets passed in silence after that. Clara contented herself with admiring the scenery and trying to remember what had happened at Mr. Bingley's ball in Pride and Prejudice. The Doctor, meanwhile, was sharply scanning the countryside for any signs of alien life – in his experience, when a day was this sunny and beautiful, there were usually alien forces at work. Just in case, he slipped a hand into his waistcoat and fastened it around the comforting handle of his sonic screwdriver.

Sorry if that Scotland joke offended anyone; I'm just trying to make the characters talk like they do in the show, and Doctor Who has plenty of similar jokes.