Where can I turn? 'Cause I need something more
Surrounded by uncertainty, I'm so unsure
Tell me why I feel so alone
'Cause I need to know to whom do I owe
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Explain to me this conspiracy against me
And tell me how I've lost my power
~Conspiracy by Paramore
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Session 1: Under Blue Skies—There is No Such Thing as Clemency
Chapter 5: For a Home Sweet, No Sweet Home Pt.2
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[Same day – Karakura High School]
His eyes were wide with disbelief and he did not notice how close he was to breaking the door handle nor how his knuckles strained from his grip.
The door was ajar, allowing him a narrow view of the two teens on the rooftop. However he did not move from his spot, or rather he couldn't— the shock prevented him from doing anything.
From a confession he honestly did not expect.
Why did he have to hear her say that?
"I... I couldn't remember Kurosaki-kun."
Did she really just say that she forgot who I was? How... Is that possible?
And while he didn't allow his presence to be known, he was surprised that they didn't immediately notice him. That is until he realized it was because he had no spiritual pressure for them to sense.
Dammit this frustrated Ichigo to no end, because as of right now he couldnt do anything; his body, his mind, and maybe his heart, he lost function of everything. Maybe it would have been better if they saw him. It would make her have to confess to him.
But would she? She probably would have pretended that everything was fine. She would lie to him. He knew.
After all she's done it before, Ichigo thought bitterly.
"Inoue-san," Ishida called and Ichigo was brought back to the other two, "what do you mean you had 'forgotten Kurosaki'?" He saw the Quincy raise his arms as if he planned to reach out to her before he let them fall back against his sides again. "Did you forget about anything else?"
That wasn't the question Ishida wanted to ask, everyone there knew. What he really wanted to ask was—
Did you forget about me, and your other friends too?
Her gaze was faraway and forlorn. "It was hard when I first got back," she then admitted, rocking on her heels before giving Ishida a weary smile. "When both you and Sado-kun came to visit me I... I couldn't recognize you two. Not even Tatsuki-chan..."
Orihime fell silent at that moment and began fiddling with the hem of her skirt, appearing as if she was pondering on what to say next. She left both boys waiting impatiently—Ichigo obviously. Uryuu much more subtle— before she continued her story.
"Although after that day, after we spent time together, I knew who all of you were so it was okay..." She looked down at her hands that were holding the rails, "but–" she stopped, choking on the word.
Ishida seemed to have understood, readily supplying an explanation for her. "But with Kurosaki it was different."
"Mhm," she agreed and with a deep breath she said, "remember that day where we all went to visit him. When he woke up?" Ishida nodded at this. "Well I went to see him before that, before I saw you and Sado-kun." She then added, "with Rukia-san."
Both Ichigo and Uryuu became highly alert after she said that. When had Inoue begun to call Rukia by her given name?
Ishida decided not to comment on it for now. Ichigo, of course couldn't.
"We had just gotten back from the Soul Society. It was Rukia-san's idea. We snuck into his room, it was supposed to be brief..." She smiled, it was small and it seemed almost disappointed, "and when I saw him I couldn't recognize him. Who he was or how I knew him. I didn't know."
Orihime kept her gaze dead straight towards the horizon, noting how the sun would set soon. "Rukia-san kept mentioning stuff about a war that I didn't remember and how he saved me and everyone else which I couldn't recall."
She lightly shook her head, "I swear I sat there for hours trying to figure out what sort of importance did he have to me." Her eyes felt heavy but it didn't feel like she was going to cry, "I sat there until I could recognize something about him."
Ichigo stared at Orihime, eyes focusing on every detail of her form: her body which fidgeted ever so slightly, her lips that were being worried down by teeth, her eyebrows that were furrowed down to lead into eyes that appeared to have a storm brewing in them.
From those signs anyone could tell that she was nervous and anxious, apprehensive, and perhaps a little frustrated.
But as selfish as it was, he did not want to know these things right now. What he was looking for was an answer.
Did you Inoue?
Did you, did you, did you remember? I need to know.
"And did you?" Thank you Ishida.
"Yeah I did," she laughed and it came out almost bittersweet, mostly bitter. "But then I left and after while I simply began to forget again."
Hearing her admit these things made Ichigo's insides stir uncomfortably. It didn't sound like Inoue Orihime at all. Why was she saying these things? It couldn't possibly be true.
He was still hidden from them and this time he had to force himself to stay where he was no matter how he just wanted to run up to her and see, really see if she had truly forgotten about him, even if a tiny bit.
"Inoue-san if this turns out to be some sort of cognition problem, it could be serious. You need to see a doctor or–"
"No!" She snapped but her tone was pleading, she grasped both of her hands in front of her chest as she explained herself. "I spoke to Urahara-san, he said that it was only temporary. That I needed time to heal and organize myself."
Ichigo saw a strange look come across Ishida's face when Inoue confessed that, it was a look he couldn't describe and he briefly wondered just what his friend was thinking.
"Urahara knows?" Ishida asked.
Orihime slowly nodded her head.
"Does Kuchiki-san know?"
If there was anything that could describe how Orihime looked, it would be worried. "Why would you ask that?"
Ishida walked up to her, his eyes peering down as if they could burn holes through her. "No Inoue don't give me that." He said lowly but his voice picked up, "what aren't you telling me?" The fact that he had forgotten to use the proper suffix meant that he was real upset. But why?
Ichigo on the other hand almost gave into the impulse of stepping in again, letting them know that he heard them, so he could demand answers. But he stopped himself. He knew that if were to step in now he would not hear the full story.
Especially when he heard Inoue exclaim, "why are you asking me this!?"
"Because I know that Rukia has been coming here!" Ichigo heard Ishida accuse. He also saw Inoue's eyes widen considerably.
What was even more surprising was to find Ishida glaring at her, "and I know for a fact that she hasn't been coming here to fight hollows. She hasn't been coming to see Urahara or even Kurosaki!"
"Ishida-kun—"
"She's been coming here to see you! Why Inoue!?"
Said girl cringed at his tone. Why was he getting so angry?
"Ishida-kun I–"
"Inoue-san," he cut her off once more and his voice managed to sound calm this time but she flinched when he suddenly grasped her shoulders.
Orihime didn't want to admit it but when Ishida-kun's eyes turned dark, it kind of scared her. It scared her of what they could see and dread only filled her when she heard him say–
"What the hell happened to you when you went to the Soul Society?"
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Following the black butterfly out, she sprinted hurriedly to her destination.
But a sudden spike in a very partiular reiatsu caught her attention, causing her to stop at a corner of a neighborhood street. The crisp winter wind bristled through her hair and refreshend her senses. She took that very moment to focus on where the reiatsu was coming from.
It suddenly clicked when she felt a second reiatsu falter, in the same place, very near the first one.
She looked towards the area of the two fluctuating reiatsu—Karakura High School.
"Orihime?" The petal asked the wind.
.
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It was all coming to shambles. Orihime appeared as if she was almost panicking. When she spoke it sounded both weary and pleading, "Ishida-kun please stop asking me about this..."
"What else am I suppose to say!?" Uryuu was sure he had never sounded so desperate in his life. "The Soul Society, those Shinigami," and he spat out the last word with intended venom. "They come down here, take you away for almost a month without even the slightest reason as to why. Then you come back and you're like..."
To Orihime's ears it sounded as if the confession had hurt for him to say and she felt her heart breaking because of it. She stood with very little composure as her friend took two more silent yet deafening steps foward until he fully faced her, or rather stared her down with those blue eyes that had turned darker, seemed deeper and unfathomable.
"For someone as smart as you..." Ishida began and Orihime could only be amazed at how he was able to bring his voice to such a level of stoicism in very little time. He took a slightly deep breath before saying, "sometimes you can be so foolish."
She snapped her head up, eyes wide and filled with awe. But he simply shook his head, reaching a hand towards her face before pressing a thumb under her eye and along the cheek.
"You don't even realize that you're crying do you?" He spoke so softly, so gently, so deeply that Orihime almost could not identify it as Ishida's voice.
After wiping a couple of more tears he took a single step back. When she stared at him with big watery eyes, it made him feel like he had pushed her too far.
Except that cannot stop him from pressing this issue further.
"You have to tell Kurosaki." He said.
"I-I can't tell him." Orihime shook her head frantically. "Please, don't tell Kurosaki-kun."
"Inoue-san..."
"Please, don't tell Kurosaki-kun!"
"No."
Her eyes grew wide with disbelief and Ishida sighed.
"I'm not doing this again. If this involves Kurosaki then you need to tell him." This time he tried to sound as calm and civil as possible. The conversation would get no where if either of them lost their composure.
Now he just needed Inoue-san to understand his perspective.
"This is just like... that one time." Ishida started, careful to keep an even tone. "I understand why you wanted to keep something like that a secret. Why you want keep something like this a secret."
Uryuu eyed Orhime with sharp eyes, gauging what sort of reaction his statement would have elicit. What he saw made him rethink the situation. This time he sounded much more cautious when he asked, "do you remember what had happened?"
Orihime's mind whirled around the question with maddening speed. What should she say, what could she say? Lie or tell the truth? Which would play out better?
Stop. Don't think like this, she agonized.
But then Orihime was startled when Ishida spoke up. "I covered for you," he said simply and she could only nod along dumbly. He kept his eye on her as he continued, "remember the last time you tried to keep something from Kurosaki, I covered for you." And with how the weight of the conversation just kept getting heavier and heavier, it felt that either of them could crumble under its' pressure at any moment.
Ishida narrowed his eyes, "but it was all for naught and at who's expense?"
Orihime took it all in but gave him nothing more than a vague answer. "I know," she said, keeping her eyes downcast. She did not want him to see what she was thinking.
Maybe she wanted to explain her situation. Maybe she did want to tell her friends of her problems, of her worries and fears. Her heart rattled from inside to do so. Yet her mind kept placating her, advising that now was not the right time, not when everything was in a mess.
But when was the right time? When would everything be okay again? Because it wasn't and it left her head in a spin and her heart drowning.
Orihime took a step back, shaking her head softly but faltered when she felt a reaitsu, a very familiar reaitsu sing out to her. It was—
"Rukia-san!?"
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"Rukia-san!?"
Rukia heard Orihime exclaim as she landed with perfect balance on the railing before the two teens in front of her. She initially was on her way to Inoue's when she felt the young healer's reiatsu spike abnormally. And when she felt Ishida's temporarily lose its composure as well it worried her even more because it was so close to Orihime's.
I won't let anything happen to you Orihime, thevow echoed in her mind before she shunpo'd her way towards the school.
As soon as she arrived the petite Shinigami poured all of her attention on the auburn haired girl, not sparing a single glance to the boy beside her. But somehow the slight shift of the only exit back into school caught her eye briefly, though she thought nothing more than it being the wind before proceeding to question her human friend.
"Orihime?"
Said girl smiled gently, nodding her head lightly. She didn't have to say anything for Rukia to understand what Orihime wanted to convey.
"Are you sure?" Rukia asked just to confirm. After all she was still worried.
"Yes," Orihime answered with another warm smile, "just wait for me at my apartment. I mean, if that's okay with you."
Rukia nodded in understanding and flitted away from the school, out towards the town. Presumably heading towards Orihime's apartment.
"Since when did start calling Kuchiki-san by her given name?" Uryuu immediately asked, the curiosity finally getting to him.
Orihime shrugged, "since she kept insisting." She then turned to face him with a much more lighthearted look on her face, "is that a bad thing?"
Uryuu mimicked her shrug and smirked slightly. "I am not sure yet," he said but when he saw how quickly she dropped her somewhat uplifting mood he raised an eyebrow and questioned, "what's on your mind?"
Orihime bit her bottom lip in worry, "Rukia has something sad to tell me."
Her eyes were strangely glassy and when Uryuu looked into them it seemed as though more water was filling up within their depths yet this time could not escape and gush out as tears.
"How do you know?" He tried to ask as low and gentle as possible.
"Just do." She murmured, moving her hand from her heart to her temple, "I can feel it."
"I see." Ishida intoned. It was silent once again, with him right behind her as she gazed out towards the afternoon sun, giving him view of her long hair cascading down her back.
"What are you going to do?" Uryuu decided to ask as ambiguous as it was.
She leaned against the rails of the school's rooftop silently wondering if Ishida-kun was going to continue to stand there and watch her so hopelessly. It was unbefitting of his image of the cool, and collected Quincy.
"I..." Her voice sounded tired all of a sudden, as did her eyes and the way she shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. Give me some time."
Whether or not Ishida believed her would remain a mystery. "Alright." He said and added, "well for the mean time I won't say anything to Kurosaki but know that he will eventually notice that something is off." He adjusted his glasses as he settled his gaze on her, "he did the last time."
"Right." Her one word answer felt so heavy on her tongue. Not that she had any other answer that would suffice anyways.
He turned around preparing to head for the exit but stopped when he heard Orihime speak up.
"I want to tell you," she said and she could feel his heavy gaze on her as she continued, "I really do want to tell you, I feel like I should." She then placed her fingertips lightly on her temple. "I can't right now but I will... Soon..."
Uryuu did not say a word as he watched her intently. It unnerved Orihime how he reverted back to his default stoic look again.
"Is that okay?" She asked while reaching out towards her friend.
Uryuu sighed, stepping away from her before heading towards the exit "I..." He sighed again, staring at the sky above them. "Come inside if it begins to rain."
Orihime watched as Ishida silently left the rooftop, leaving her all alone.
.
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He ran away. Like a coward.
The moment he heard Inoue call out Rukia's name, all reason left him and he ran down the steps, through the door, and back into the school's hallway.
It was pathetic but Ichigo couldn't be there. He may not want to but he had to leave for the chance of getting caught was now greater.
He couldn't risk that. He didn't want Rukia to see him.
But he had searched. His eyes scanned throughout the whole rooftop, searching for a sign, perhaps an offbeat moment in the wind that would indicate that something else was there aside from empty space.
There was nothing though. Nothing he could see, nothing he could sense.
It made him feel hollow.
But maybe it was because after pouring more and more of himself into battles and training and saving those dear to him; feeling more struggles, hardship, grief, and anguish, that it wasn't the fact that he lost his powers.
More like he had exhausted all that he had to give.
So what was in there now? Probably nothing more than the echoes of a former fighter.
And maybe now he was trying to fill the void with—
"Kurosaki?"
Ichigo jerked towards the stairs that Ishida descended from.
"Kurosaki? What are you doing here?" Ishida asked again, mostly curious but slightly skeptical.
Ichigo couldn't hint that he knew anything to Ishida. "I was looking for Inoue." He answered. "Ogawa said she was with you. Couldn't find you guys anywhere so I decided to check up here."
Then Ichigo decided to add for good measure, "just what were guys doing up at the rooftop alone anyways?"
It worked as he saw the Quincy fluster at the insinuation. Ishida pushed up his glasses, effectively hiding his eyes. "Nothing that concerns you," he said and he began walking past Ichigo. But before he did so he retorted, "and certainly nothing that you're implying."
"Right." Ichigoclipped. He noticed anger in his tone so he shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant manner to cover his mistake. "Well Tatsuki asked me to give Inoue her notebook but since you guys are in the same club I'm sure you can pass it along."
"I suppose."
"Here," Ichigo said and tossed the notebook which the other caught easily. He knew Ishida watched him with questioning eyes as he stalked away from him.
First down the steps, then through the hallways, and finally outside.
Back out in the open the wind blew insistently towards the direction of the horizon. He could see the sun beginning to make its descent, growing bigger and turning redder. He followed it with newfound determination as an idea began forming inside his mind.
He would fill this void and he would find a way to make Inoue tell him the truth herself. This won't be like the last time.
He needed to do this. Because he was left hollow now and with one more strike he could shatter.
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Still leaning against the school's railing, Orihime slowly descended into a trance. Taking her time to journey to a land that she imagined was far, far away. It felt cold and familiar.
Her vision was in a blur, as if she was looking through water. What she could see were wavering, flickering images. They too were somehow familiar.
She knew her eyes remained open but she sunk deeper. She liked this feeling of sinking, of letting go, or perhaps of fading easily into the unknown; who knows where it would take her.
But what she needed was to listen and do what Urahara-san said—feel better.
Yes. Better, better, and better. She will veer away from all the other feelings to concentrate on feeling better.
When her eyes were finally seeing again she glanced up and saw the sky— a grand blue cloudless sky.
Rain. Right.
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[Session 1 Fin]
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Happy New Year and Merry late Christmas! Hopefully you enjoyed the chapter.
Edit: Managed to fix up a few things that were nagging me. Yay!
Ah yes, Session 1 is finally complete! We now move on to Session 2: Characters Crying Out. Out of all the sessions this one is the most unique and the shortest. Which you will see soon enough ;)
Please do review! What did you like about the chapter (or any chapter), what didn't you like, how did you feel about my characterizations, and what you think I should work on. This will only help me make the story better for you to enjoy~
Also thank you to Rei-Katsuro, Magdalena88, Little Lily, lyerlaboys1, TheAkAtSuKiKid, Ms90sgirl, Guest, anddd izumooichi for reviewing! This chapter is especially for you~
Take care lovelies!
Nova